by Lexi Post
She looked down. “No. It wasn’t.”
“Then why are you intent on leaving here? Leaving me?”
She walked around the second bed, obviously wanting space between them. The action cutting into him more than she knew. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” He folded his arms across his chest. There was nothing she could say that would convince him this was right. Not when he knew she was right for him.
She waved her hand between them. “I don’t do this. I don’t connect with people. It doesn’t work for me.”
Baffled, he shook his head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean the whole rescue, people looking for me, the dog, you. I don’t want people caring about me. I don’t want to care about people. It only leads to pain. I’ve had enough pain. I can’t do it again. It will kill me.”
Now this was the woman he’d been trapped with. “It doesn’t have to lead to pain. It can lead to joy and happiness.”
She shook her head. “Not for me. It always leads to pain. Everyone dies on me. It’s better not to connect. Then it doesn’t matter. No one matters. I don’t matter.”
He strode around the bed and cupped her face. “But you do matter. You matter to me.”
For a moment, a second, he saw it in her dark eyes. She did feel for him. It was there. Just as his heart jumped at the knowledge, she pulled away. “No, I don’t. You will have a better life without me in it. You know, better than anyone, I’m a mess. You don’t need that. You deserve a hero’s wife. Not a screwed-up vet who can’t even keep a gold fish alive.”
Her rejection hurt, but still he tried. “You have it backwards. I’m the one that’s scarred and you’re the hero. You’re the soldier who defended our country. What have I done? I defended houses and screwed up. I don’t deserve you, but I want you anyway.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you see. I can’t care. I suck at it. I’ve tried. I failed my mother. I couldn’t save my sister. I led my men into an ambush. Everyone is better without me. I have to go. You’ll find someone better than me.”
“There is no one better for me.” He stared at her, the pain in his chest growing even as he tried to deny what was happening.
“Yes, you will. You belong here. With friends and family. I don’t. I don’t do friends and family.” She brushed by him and moved to the dresser and opened a drawer. Pulling out three pair of jeans, she threw them in the duffle bag and pointed. “This is my life. This is what I choose. I can’t lose another or I’ll lose what sanity I have left.”
Nausea started in the pit of his stomach as hurt and anger churned inside him. His voice rose of its own accord and he didn’t care. “You can’t live your life avoiding loss, it’s impossible.”
She rounded on him. “Really? Then why haven’t you found another dog? I’ll tell you why. Because you can’t handle loving something and losing it. Try that seven times over only with people. Then you can tell me what I can avoid and what I can’t!”
“You think I haven’t lost people? I’ve lost comrades to alcohol, fire, and cancer. I gave my heart to two women only to have them walk away because of my body, yet still I opened my heart again. This time to you.”
She backed up a step, shaking her head. “Why? Why would you do that?”
He advanced on her. “Because the reward is worth all the heartache that came before. The culmination makes everything else worth it. Human connection is the reason for living and loving others is being alive.”
She stared at him, her mouth slightly parted, her brown eyes round with denial and confusion.
“I’ll ask you one more time. Will you stay? Will you give us a chance?”
He held his breath, the small flame of hope refusing to go out.
Riley’s gaze moved from one of his eyes to the other, and the flame grew, but when she looked away, the punch to his gut almost doubled him over. “I can’t.”
He fisted his hands to keep from lashing out, the pain in his chest far worse than any he’d experienced with anyone else. Turning on his heel, he strode out, down the stairs and outside, letting the screen door slam behind him.
She’d been right about one thing, when it came to the scarred mess his body was, he hadn’t found the right woman. But he’d been dumb enough to think if he found a woman to accept his body, she’d also love him.
How wrong he was.
~~*~~
Riley checked the room she’d lived in for well over a year and a half. In a way, she was glad that Annette and Ed were still on their cruise. She didn’t like goodbyes. Besides, she looked like shit after crying herself to sleep the last two nights.
Cole had enlisted Wyatt’s help temporarily. Apparently, the morose, by-the-book cowboy had given his stamp of approval to the ranch. The man confirmed what she’d always thought, one had to be drop-dead handsome to be allowed to work at Last Chance. It was too bad the sorrow in his pale green eyes made it hard to look at him. Maybe the ranch could rescue him like it rescued horses. She wished him luck, especially working for Cole.
However, her boss had offered to keep Domino until she could get settled. For some reason, he seemed to feel guilty about the mine cave-in, though why she had no idea. She could leave the paint at Last Chance forever, but she’d grown too attached to the horse and now that Domino had saved her life, she couldn’t let her go.
Now all she had to do is say goodbye to Copper and she could move on. She didn’t want to, but he belonged to Whisper. Besides, he reminded her of Garrett and whether she’d wanted to or not, she’d fallen for the man. As usual, she’d ruined it. She was seriously messed up. It was better not to mess other people’s lives up. It was the least she could do for him and Copper.
Zipping up her duffle, she hoisted it over her shoulder and headed out. At the doorway she looked back. “You coming? Whisper will be here soon.”
Copper jumped off the made bed and trotted over to her.
“You’ll be very happy with Whisper and Trace. She’ll take much better care of you than I can.” She snorted. “Can’t even take care of myself.”
Striding down the stairs and outside, she dumped her duffle in the backseat.
Copper hopped in before she could close the door.
“I don’t think so, buddy.” She lifted him out and slammed the door shut before he could jump back in.
He was looking no worse for wear. At least he’d had a few days to recover before Whisper came to pick him up. Whisper would have her head if he looked malnourished. Dr. Jenna had made a special trip out when she heard about the cave-in and gave Copper a thorough examination. He was pronounced in good health.
Now she could hand him over to Whisper with a clear conscience. Though it was morning, it was already hot, so she walked over to the shade of the mesquite tree and sat on the ground to wait for Whisper. Copper followed her and immediately tried to lick her face. “Really. Can’t you just sit?”
Copper instantly dropped his butt to the ground and looked at her expectantly.
“You’ve got to be shitting me. All this time and all I had to do is tell you to sit?”
The dog’s tail wagged even as he lifted his one eyebrow.
“Hell, I’m going to miss you. Come here.”
He jumped in her lap and attempted to lick her again. She laughed, rolling back and protecting her face with her hands. Silly dog.
The sound of a truck approaching had her sitting up. From her vantage point, all she could see was dust. Rising to her feet, she shaded her eyes then looked down at Copper who stood next to her waiting. “She’s here.”
The words barely made it out of her tightening throat. Since when had leaving a place become so hard. First, it was Garrett, then the going away party they threw her last night, now Copper. It just proved she’d put off leaving for too long. She’d remember that next time. Never stay longer than a year.
Whisper’s truck pulled to a stop, and she jumped out before the dust had settled. She strode over to where they sto
od waiting for her. “I don’t understand why you want to give me Copper.”
That was Whisper. Right to the point. “Because he’s yours.”
“We don’t own animals. They choose us.”
She very much doubted that the gerbils she had when she was little had chosen her since they’d escaped into the walls of the house, but she wasn’t about to argue with the woman. “Then I guess he chose you when you spotted him on the side of the road.”
Whisper shook her head. “I don’t think so. Come here, Copper.”
The dog looked at Whisper and then up at her. “Go ahead. You remember her, right?”
Copper looked back at Whisper and walked over. Whisper sat on the ground getting eye to eye with the dog. “Good dog.” She rubbed him behind the ear, and he sat.
Now why didn’t he lick Whisper’s face? Whisper was gorgeous. Her skin was always tan and she had straight, thick black hair that Riley envied. What did her mom say? We always want what we don’t have? Wow, she hadn’t thought of something her mom taught her in years.
She waited patiently for Whisper to finish with Copper. She had no idea what the two were doing, but she knew better than to disturb whatever was going on.
Whisper spoke to Copper. “I understand.” Slowly, she rose. “I can’t take him.”
“What?” Her heart started jumping up and down, but she kept her brain functioning. “What do you mean you can’t take him? You found him.”
Whisper shook her head. “No. He needs you. I can’t take him away from you. There was a bond developed during your trauma. It’s not something that can ever be broken.”
“But I don’t know anything about dogs except they don’t like mints.”
“You’ll learn. Garrett will help you.”
Okay, Whisper understanding animals was crazy enough, but she had no idea what she was talking about when it came to people. “Garrett can’t help. I’m leaving for Yuma, right now.”
“You can’t go.”
Oh, for shit’s sake. “Why?”
“Copper needs Garrett, too. So do you. And Garrett needs you and Copper. This bond that was forged in the mine will never break no matter where you go.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. Are you trying to tell me that if Copper and I go to Yuma, we’ll be miserable for the rest of our lives and Garrett will be miserable for the rest of his life?”
“Yes.” Whisper’s gray eyes didn’t even blink as she made that pronouncement, and it scared the shit at of Riley.
Still, she shook her head. “I can’t stay. I have a job in Yuma.”
Whisper grinned. “But you have a life here. Don’t be an ass. What happened in that mine is a part of you all now.”
Great, after three days of avoiding thinking about her time in the mine, Whisper had to bring it up twice. She scowled.
Whisper jerked her head in the direction of the road leading away from Last Chance. “Take Copper and go to Garrett. He needs you both and you both need him.”
Again, her heart wanted to listen to Whisper. Fuck, did the woman have some kind of magic? “I already closed that door.”
“Then open it.”
“And if he slams it in my face? Then what?”
Whisper shrugged. “Then you go to Yuma. Now I have to get back to my husband. We’re supposed to pick up a birthday cake for Old Billie.”
“Wait, what? Your husband?”
Whisper opened the door of her truck. “Yes, Trace and I married in Las Vegas.” Her face softened. “Uncle Joey was his best man. We’re all legal now.”
Riley strode up to the truck. “But you didn’t say anything last night.”
“It doesn’t change anything except now I get to call him husband.” Whisper closed her door and started the engine. Then the window came down. “Take Copper to Garrett. Don’t break the bond.” With those final words, she drove out of the yard.
Riley watched the truck until it disappeared. Whisper was crazy. She knew animals but not people.
Besides, Riley didn’t even know where Garrett lived, though a stop at the fire station to see Cole would take care of that.
No, she was going to Yuma.
She looked down at Copper. He met her gaze, one eyebrow higher than the other and cocked his head. “The shit you get me into.”
~~*~~
Garrett swore as the drill bit snapped. He was an idiot for trying to build a porch in the middle of the summer heat by himself, but the promise of shade sooner rather than later was too hard to ignore.
Wiping the sweat from his eyes with his discarded t-shirt, he dropped it on the sawhorse and went into the shed for another drill bit. He might have to take Mason up on his offer to bring over some of the firehouse guys to help. His dad had offered to stay and work with him, but he didn’t want him working in the heat. It was already close to ninety and climbing.
Opening his drill bit case, he paused at the sound of a truck pulling into his dirt driveway. Damn, his shirt was in front of the house. He’d bought the home as much for it’s potential as for acres of land that kept him from the eyes of prying neighbors. So, who the hell was here?
Standing in the dark shed, he peered out to see who had arrived. When Riley stepped out of her truck, he sucked in his breath. The sun glinted off her fiery red hair, beneath what looked like a new white cowboy hat. She wore a simple white t-shirt and her usual blue jeans. All dressed and ready for her new job.
The thought brought back his anger. What the hell was she doing here? Had she decided to say goodbye and rub in the fact she was leaving. If so, he could make this pretty quick.
He ignored the fact he had no shirt on and strode out to see what she wanted. “What are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too.”
He moved to where his tape measure sat next to his t-shirt. “If you’ve come to say goodbye, well goodbye.”
Using the tape measure, he ran it from one post to the other, then went back to a two by four and wrote the measurement down.
“No, I came because of Copper.”
Copper? He looked up to see her open the passenger door of the truck and Copper hopped down. Damn, if he didn’t miss the little guy. “What about Copper?”
“Whisper said he needs you.”
As if to prove the point, Copper ran to him and pawed at his leg. Shit, he couldn’t ignore him and not pet him. “Are you trying to tell me your abandoning your dog like you are me?”
She grimaced. “Shit, I deserve that, but no, I’m not abandoning him. I’m not abandoning anyone. Whisper said there was an unbreakable bond between you and Copper.”
He’d never met this Whisper, and now he wasn’t sure he wanted to. She sounded like one of those people who believed in crystals. Not that he had a problem with that, it just wasn’t his thing.
He crouched down and gave Copper most of his attention. At least the dog was straight forward with his affection. “What are you talking about, Riley? If you didn’t come to say goodbye and you didn’t come to drop your dog off with me before you left then why are you here?”
When she didn’t answer, he finally looked at her. “Well.”
“I…I…”
Did the woman not realize that just standing in front of him made the pain of losing her worse? “Damn it, spit it out.”
“I love you. Okay?”
He froze, his whole body stuck in time.
“I can’t help it. I didn’t want it to happen, but Whisper says we formed a bond and it can’t be broken. She said we would all be miserable if I tried to break it. Fuck, I’m so tired of being miserable. I don’t want to avoid life anymore. What the hell have I been surviving for if it wasn’t to live. I’m a complete basket case and a total mess, but for some reason I still want to be happy. That didn’t happen until you.”
His lungs finally sucked air in, and he took a moment to digest what she said. She loved him and didn’t want to throw that away? But could he trust her with his heart?
“So, you’ll be s
taying at Last Chance?”
She shook her head and his anger returned. “So, you’re still going to Yuma.”
She shook her head again.
“Well, which is it?”
She walked to her truck and opened the back door. Pulling her duffle bag out, she hoisted it over her shoulder. “Copper and I would like to stay here. If you’ll have us.”
His heart skipped a beat. He put the tape measure down and walked to her. “Let me get this straight. You’re saying that you love me and want to move in with me?”
“Copper, too.” She looked around the property. “I can keep Domino at Last Chance until I can build her a place here.”
His hope burst into flame in his chest, but still he hesitated. “What changed? I can’t believe it was Whisper and this bonding in the mine thing.”
She gave him a small smile. “It wasn’t. In fact, I’d avoided thinking of the mine. No nightmares either, and then she had to go and bring it up, making it sound like it was fate or voodoo or some vortex magic.”
She paused, as if looking for the words to explain. “I really thought I’d figured out how to survive, but I was just existing, avoiding any strong feelings. I was afraid. But as I drove away from Last Chance, I remembered how I felt in the mine when it first caved in. My worst fear had been realized, being buried alive again. But you being there gave me strength, calmed me, and supported my hope. You rescued me long before the calvary arrived.”
He couldn’t hold onto his anger at her words. “You gave me all that as well.”
She placed her hand over his heart, her touch cool against his warm skin. “I know I’m messed up and not much of a prize, but I think I can get better with you. If you’ll have me.”
He grasped her hand in his and held it to his scarred chest. “I’d be honored.” Gazing into her deep brown eyes, he saw her truth. She’d laid bare all that she was for him. “I love you, Riley.” Pulling her to him, he gave her his love in a kiss.
Suddenly, she pulled back. “Oh.” She looked down and laughed. “I think someone is jealous.”
He smiled, letting her go and scooped up Copper. “Welcome to the family, boy.”
The dog licked his face. “Ugh.”