by Lori Wilde
Michael chuckled as he carried her the few feet to her bedroom without showing the slightest sign of difficulty. “I get the feeling there’s a purely selfish motive behind your concern.”
As he walked, he never took his gaze off her face. Love spilled through Casey like a waterfall. They hadn’t settled anything about their future. She knew that, but she had tonight with him. And maybe tomorrow.
And that would have to be enough.
When Casey awoke the next morning, she pulled on her robe, and padded down the hall.
When she reached the kitchen, Michael gave her such a sexy look she decided to play it safe and stay on the opposite side of the table while he poured some coffee and put bread in the toaster.
“Why don’t you come over here?” he asked when she evaded his grasp.
Casey shook her head. “You said you wanted breakfast. I’m hungry, and when I get near you, we both seem to have trouble keeping track of our hands.”
“I don’t mind.”
She shook her head again. “Because you’re a good sport.”
He started to say something, but the toast was done. Grabbing a piece, he buttered it and handed it to her. “Here’s food. As promised.”
Taking the other piece of toast for himself, he ate it slowly.
“Aren’t you going to butter that?” she asked, unable to stop staring at him.
“No. I’m in a hurry to finish breakfast.”
Casey smiled. “Now why is that?”
“Have you had enough to eat?” he asked rather than answering her question. Slowly, deliberately, he circled the table, a heart-stopping grin forming on his face as he gathered her close.
“Michael,” she murmured, burying her face in his shoulder. When she lifted her head, he smiled. “What are we going to do?”
“We’re smart people. We can figure this out.” He kissed her and gave her a wry smile, his gaze direct and intense. A knot formed in her throat. Something was up. She could tell.
“Casey...you mean a lot to me,” he said softly.
Oh, no. That didn’t sound good. “Um, me...too.”
“I feel whole when I’m with you,” he finished, his voice thick and husky.
Okay. That didn’t sound as bad. Right now would be a good time to tell him she loved him. But as overwhelming and wonderful as the thought of Michael caring for her was, she sensed there was more to come.
“But?” she prompted.
He looked away, his jaw tight. She held her breath, willing him to say he loved her, that he’d be with her, that he’d put her before his job. But that was asking for the moon.
After an eternity, he glanced back at her. “As soon as the fundraiser is over, I need to go back to work full-time.”
Casey turned his words over in her mind. He wasn’t going to volunteer anymore, but she really wasn’t surprised. She’d expected this. Michael wanted to go back to working fourteen-hour days. To living and breathing his job.
Moving away from him, she carried her plate to the sink. “I understand.” And she did. He wanted to spend all his time at work, so this was the end of them.
“No. You don’t,” Michael said.
Bracing herself, she turned to face him, trying to force air into lungs that seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. “So what are you saying?”
“I think we should live together.”
Man, he hadn’t intended on saying that. He hadn’t intended on saying anything remotely like that. But that was what Casey did to him. She made him do things completely out of character. But when the words jumped out of his mouth, he realized he meant them. He wanted to live with Casey so he could at least see her every night.
Casey, though, stood staring at him as if he’d been possessed by a demon.
“You’re kidding,” she said.
He realized she wasn’t asking a question but making a statement. “No.” He moved forward and took her hands in his. “I guess you know that once I go back to work, I’ll have to put in long hours.” Before she could say anything, he added, “But you’ll have to put in some long days at the new center.”
Casey slowly sank into one of the high-backed kitchen chairs. “Michael, I don’t—”
He moved to stand directly in front of her. “What bothers you about the idea?”
Casey shrugged. “Everything.”
“Such as?” He sat in the chair next to her, forcing himself to stay calm. But it was hard. He wanted her to say yes.
“Have you thought this through?” she asked. He hadn’t, but he wasn’t about to admit that. Because now that he’d suggested the idea, he was convinced it would work. “I’m certain.”
She leaned forward, her scent surrounding him. “I think it’s just the sex—”
“This isn’t about sex, Casey. This is about...”
Her intense gaze focused on him. “About what?”
What was it about? Love? He didn’t know. “It’s about caring for each other. I enjoy being with you.” His words were tame compared to the emotions surging through him. Casey’s expression made it clear she wasn’t swayed by what he’d said.
“I don’t think it will work,” she said quietly.
“What do you feel for me?” he asked.
Wide-eyed, Casey blinked at him. “I’m in love with you,” she said, her voice brushing over his skin.
He hadn’t expected that. A surge of happiness shot through him. He pulled her into his arms. “Then don’t say no. We can make it work.”
“Michael, we’re so different,” she protested. “Your job is everything to you. And I need a man who will be there for me.”
He bent to kiss her sweet, sexy lips. “My job’s not everything. Sure, I love my job, but I’ll make this work, too. I promise you. I’ll make this work.”
Knowing it wasn’t fair, he kissed her before she could argue. As always, she melted against him, and he knew he would keep his promise. He would find a way to make this work.
Resting his forehead against hers, he said, “Just think about it, okay? Please, think about it.”
He held his breath until she nodded. Then he knew everything would be all right. Everything would be fine.
Casey finished polishing the hood of the old Charger and stood back to admire her handiwork. Boy, if she could afford it, she’d buy this gorgeous car in a heartbeat.
“Hello, Casey,” Elmira said, coming to stand next to her. “You look very happy today.”
Casey wasn’t sure she’d call herself happy. Sure, the plans for Big Band Night were coming along nicely. And sure, everyone’s spirits were high, and Casey was thrilled for the seniors. And sure, it was definitely starting to look like the fundraiser would work.
But was she happy? Tough question. She still didn’t know what to do about Michael.
“I’m doing okay,” she finally said.
Elmira nodded. “I understand.” With a quick pat on Casey’s arm, she added, “Hon, men are like shoes. It takes a while to break them in.”
Casey laughed. “Shoes?”
Elmira glanced over Casey’s shoulder, then gave her a conspiratorial wink. “I think Michael’s coming over to help you. I’ll go...um, check on my…surfboard. Have fun.”
As Elmira hurried away, Casey heard Michael walk up behind her. Gathering her courage, she turned to face him. Ever since they’d become lovers, they’d pretty much left their personal relationship outside the center. Although judging from Elmira’s words, the seniors knew all about them.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.” She wiped her hands on her jeans. “I think the car’s about ready for tomorrow night.”
He stood back and studied the car. “So I see. Anything I can do to help you?”
Sure. Fall in love with me. Deliberately, she moved away from him. She needed time to think. She’d never really considered living with a man before, for a lot of reasons. The main one being she’d never been in love before.
But she was now, and like Michael, she wanted to spend whatever
time they could find together. But was that building a future or just postponing the inevitable? When push came to shove, would he choose business over her? Would she end up bitter about the days and nights she spent alone? Casey couldn’t let that happen to her.
“Can I help?” Michael repeated.
She blinked and turned to face him. “Al and Tommy are finishing the final preparations for the auction. Maybe you can help them.”
When she started to walk past him, he blocked her way. He placed one hand on her shoulder, the warmth of his touch having its usual effect on her hormones. “Casey, have you thought about what I suggested this morning?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
She looked up into his face, love filling her. How could she say no? But how could she say yes? Reluctantly, she said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not? You said you love me.”
She didn’t want to make this choice. Not now. “I do love you, but like I said, I think we’re too different.”
“We can work out any problems,” he rasped, moving closer to her. “If we want to.”
She looked beyond him. Several of the seniors were milling about, and Al was heading their way. “Do you love me?” she whispered.
Now it was Michael’s turn to stare at her. “I care about you—”
She waved one hand. “That’s not the same. Do you love me?”
His silence pretty much answered her question. Finally, he said, “I don’t think I know how to love.”
Not the answer she wanted. The world seemed to lurch beneath her feet, but she couldn’t waver.
“Then you have to learn before we can have a future.”
“Casey, don’t do this. I just need some time to sort through what I’m feeling. All I know is you’re too precious to me to lose.”
“Can we talk about this later?” she asked, feeling self-conscious having this conversation at the center.
Michael seemed oblivious to the seniors. “Fine. Later. Just tell me one thing; why won’t you live with me if you love me?”
Sheesh. He was making this difficult. She would prefer to stand in the middle of a room of supermodels with a serious case of bedhead rather than tell Michael the truth, but she couldn’t lie to him.
“I won’t live with you because I don’t trust you to be there when I need you,” she said.
13
On the drive to his office, Michael admitted to himself that he was angry. Not at Casey, but at himself. He should be able to tell her he loved her, to promise he’d always be there. But he didn’t know if he could. It wasn’t as if he didn’t care about Casey, but he didn’t know if what he felt was love.
Didn’t she know that asking her to live with him was a huge step for him to take? He’d never even considered the possibility of a long-term relationship before. But he was more than willing to consider it now.
Still upset, Michael found Nathan pacing in his office when he got to work. One look at Nathan’s face was more than enough to convince Michael something was wrong.
“The merger’s going down the toilet,” Nathan said without any preamble.
Michael set his briefcase on his desk, dread filling him. He knew he shouldn’t have spent so much time away from the office. If he’d been spending his days at his desk, he could have prevented this.
“What happened?” he asked Nathan. “I vetted the company, and they seemed solid.”
“They have lost interest. You realize what this means, don’t you? If this merger falls through, we can’t expand the way we’ve planned. That’s a hundred jobs lost. The impact to the town will be huge.”
Michael leaned against his desk, alternatives running through his mind. Unfortunately, he couldn’t come up with any other solutions. Barrett Software needed this merger like a dying man needed a transfusion. They needed to get bigger, so they didn’t end up being overwhelmed by the competition. “We have to save the deal.”
Nathan stopped directly in front of him. “How? They’ve called off negotiations.”
Michael was living his worst nightmare. He knew how to solve this problem, and it was killing him. Why did everything in life have to be so hard?
“They’ll listen to me if I fly up there tonight and fix it,” he said finally.
“Isn’t your fundraiser thing tomorrow? I thought you had to be there,” Nathan said.
Michael felt like alcohol had just been poured into a gaping wound in his heart. There was no way he could save the merger and be back in time for Big Band Night. Casey would never understand him missing the fundraiser. Moreover, he had wanted to be there, not only for her, but also for the seniors. Over the last few weeks, those people had come to mean a lot to him.
He looked at Nathan. He hated this, but he had no choice. Not really. Those employees needed him. If he didn’t go up there and work this out, they would be out of work within a matter of weeks.
“It’s more important I try to save the merger,” Michael said. “I don’t need to be at the dance.”
“But Casey—”
“Will be fine,” Michael said, knowing he was lying. She would never forgive him. He ran a weary hand through his hair. “I guess I can explain what’s happening to her—”
“Not unless you want to get us in a real mess. You preannounce this merger, and we’re in deep legal trouble,” Nathan said.
“Casey won’t tell anyone.”
“Doesn’t matter. You aren’t allowed to tell anyone.”
Michael nodded, knowing his boss was right. He couldn’t tell her what was happening. Could this get any worse? Casey was going to hate him.
Nathan patted him on the arm, compassion evident on the older man’s face. “Just tell her it’s important business. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Yeah, right. And pigs could learn to fly. “I doubt it,” Michael said.
“Sure, she will. She cares about you. And I know she means a lot to you, or you wouldn’t be worried about what she’ll think.”
“Nathan, this morning, I asked Casey to live with me.”
Surprise crossed Nathan’s face. “Really? Good for you. Well, then, that’s even more reason why she won’t mind you missing the fundraiser. If she’s willing to live with you, she knows how important your job is.”
“She’ll be devastated,” Michael said, knowing it was true. Tomorrow night meant everything to Casey. How could he miss one of the most important nights of her life?
Nathan continued to watch him. “Maybe we could get someone else to—”
Michael waved away the suggestion. “No. It’s my deal. I set it up. I vetted this company and made the recommendation, so I’ll save it.”
With a nod, Nathan headed toward the door. Right before he left, he turned and looked at Michael. “I’m proud of you, Michael. You’ve made the right choice.”
“I know,” Michael said. It was the right choice. But as he watched Nathan leave his office, he knew there was no way Casey would understand. She’d think he’d chosen business over her, and she wouldn’t understand.
He knew it as well as he knew his own name.
Casey half expected the knock on her door about an hour after she got home. Michael hadn’t said he was going to stop by, but she wasn’t surprised he had. They needed to talk, but boy, was she dreading this conversation.
Peering through the peephole, she saw him standing outside, and the butterflies in her stomach turned into giant flying bats. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her nerves and opened the door. Why did love have to be so complicated? As much as she wanted to tell him that she would live with him, she just wasn’t certain it would work.
One look at Michael’s expression, and her anxiety was immediately replaced with fear. Cold, alone-in-the-house-with-a-psycho fear. Something bad had happened.
“What’s wrong?” She stepped aside so Michael could enter her apartment, but he remained standing in the doorway.
“I have to leave town for a coupl
e of days,” he said bluntly.
Casey sucked in a startled breath, feeling like he’d thrown a sucker punch. “What? Will you be back in time for Big Band Night?”
He shook his head. “I can’t tell you how upset I am about this,” he said. “I want to be there tomorrow, but a problem has come up at work, and I’m the only one who can solve it.”
Casey’s throat closed up. After everything they’d done, after all the plans, he was standing her up so he could go on a business trip. She’d heard this song played time and again while growing up. Got to go. Be back sometime. Love ya.
Yeah, right.
“I see,” was all she said, all she could think to say. She leaned back against the wall, needing the support. How could he do this? More important, how could she have been so foolish as to fall for a workaholic? Sooner or later, corporate sharks always reverted to type. He had a right to make work his priority, but that wasn’t the life she wanted to live.
“Casey, I don’t want to go. I have to go. I want to be here with you,” he said, his voice strained. “You think I’m like your parents, but I’ve changed. Right now, I don’t want to be anywhere other than with you. But I can’t let the Barrett Software employees down.”
Casey registered the sincerity in his voice. She knew Michael felt he was doing the right thing by taking this trip. He truly believed he was doing it for the employees.
Normally, Casey would have cut him some slack, but she’d grown up hearing that same line year after lonely year. She didn’t want to spend countless nights alone while the company took precedence.
And she wouldn’t do it. She might love Michael, but she couldn’t spend her life with him. If he would miss the fundraiser, knowing what it meant to her, then he would miss other important moments in their life together.
So she’d stop things right here, right now, no matter how much it hurt. In her mind, this breakup was like yanking a bandage off a cut. If she did it fast, the pain wouldn’t hurt as much. Well, at least not in the long run.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” she said softly, ignoring his loud protest at her words. “You have different priorities than I do, so I think—”