I turned to look at him. “You sound like Nora.”
“But I’m much more handsome,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at me, and I had to agree that he was. “Not to mention, I’m smarter than the bozos you usually bring around. Oh, before I forget, what would I need to do to be able to volunteer at the Lodge?”
The question surprised me. “First, you’d have to undergo a background check, and then you’d have to go through some training. Why do you ask?”
“Corinne has given me an open invitation to visit and John said I can come back with him anytime,” he said. “I’d like to take them up on that. I like it here, Jessie. It’s a wonderful little town, and Corinne and John are fantastic. If I do visit, I’d love to volunteer with the kids at the Lodge. Would you be okay with that?”
I thought about it before answering. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted Michael to be involved in situations so close to my own life. Cedar Hollow was mine, as was the Lodge. As were Corinne and John.
But I knew that was unhealthy thinking on my part. I didn’t own John and Corinne; if they’d decided to befriend Michael, I had no right to come between that. I certainly wouldn’t want him dictating my friendships; I could hardly do that to him. Besides, John and Corinne were family. No one could take that away from me.
As for volunteering at the Lodge, I knew he’d be wonderful with the kids and we needed all the volunteers we could get. After an initial hesitation, I agreed. “That would be fine with me, Michael, but why the sudden interest in working with kids at the Lodge? There are plenty of places in California that need volunteers, you know.”
“As a matter of fact, I do know that,” he said, “and I’m on the Board of Directors at one of those places, and I volunteer on Saturdays working with the kids.”
I was stunned. “I had no idea.” I felt a wave of shame. When you spend so much time wrapped up in your own misery, you don’t notice anyone else. I really hadn’t liked Therapist Number One, but I was beginning to think she had something there. It boggled my mind that I could despise myself the way I often did and be narcissistic at the same time, but it was becoming difficult to deny that my world had been completely wrapped up in...well, me.
“You couldn’t have known,” Michael put a hand on my shoulder. “I never mentioned it. I did it for Noah.”
“What do you mean?” I searched his face.
“Noah had autism,” he said. “He’d been diagnosed a few months before the accident. I started volunteering shortly after we received the diagnosis. I continued after I lost him, partly in honor of him and partly because it helped fill the void, working with other kids.”
“Michael,” I started, then stopped. Once again, I didn’t know what to say to him. What a dear man he was, and how little I really knew about him. I found myself wanting to know more. Maybe I’d beat this narcissism thing after all.
I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek. “I’ll give you the paperwork tomorrow, and we’ll make sure you’re ready by the next time you visit. And Michael....” I wasn’t sure how to ask. “Someday, if you’re up for it, I’d really like to hear more about Angela and Noah. I know you loved them very much. I’d also like to hear more about you. It seems I’m missing some pieces.”
“Yes, I did love them very much” he said, “and someday, I’d like to tell you about them. And about me.”
After a quick hug, I got in my car for the drive up Crutcher Mountain, keying in Sheriff Moore’s number before setting out.
Chapter 30: Robby
Hi it is me Robby again and I am very tired today but I do not want to go to bed. If I go to bed then I will wake up and it will be tomorrow and then I will have to leave here. I wonder if I don’t go to bed if it will ever be tomorrow. Maybe it will just be night forever. I would like to try and see but I don’t think Mr. Bryan will let me. Grownups don’t like it when you don’t go to sleep because they are tired.
We are having a party in a few minutes with cake and ice cream and everything but it can only last half an hour so we don’t get Over Stimulated before bed. That is what Dr. Wright told Mr. Bryan. “We’ll give it about half an hour so they don’t get over stimulated. Then give them an hour for bedtime routine and T.V. so they can wind down.” I don’t know what she means by wind down. We are not toys. Ha!
Everyone is going to be here. Dr. Wright will be here and Mr. Paul and Ms. Janice and Mr. Bryan and Ms. Sarah and everybody. Even Mrs. Cortes is coming. I hope Ms. McIntosh will be here too.
Mrs. Huffman tied balloons all over the place and somebody put all of our drawings and stuff all over the walls and it is very beautiful. We are all quite talented at drawing. Well maybe not Marcus but he can’t help it and we like his drawings anyway. That is one great thing about this place. Everyone likes your drawings even if they aren’t very good.
If I have to go to sleep and tomorrow comes I am going back to the Sloan Foster Family. They are nice people but they have too many kids. I don’t know how long I can stay there and I don’t know what happens if Mrs. Cortes doesn’t find anyone I can stay with. I guess I just won’t have a house. Maybe I will have to live in the woods.
Grandpa took me hunting sometimes and taught me a lot about the woods. I know what poison oak and poison ivy look like and I know not to eat mushrooms unless you buy them at the store. I don’t know why they are poisonous in the woods and not in the store but Grandpa said never ever eat them in the woods because they have poison. There is a lot of poison in the woods.
There are poisonous snakes in the woods too and you have to be careful where you step. There are bears in the woods too. They are not poisonous but they will eat you. One time Grandpa and I went camping in a tent and it was fun and not scary at all because there were other people camping around us so there weren’t any bears. I am a little bit afraid of bears but that does not make me a scaredy baby. Grandpa said everyone should be a little bit afraid of bears.
If I have to live in the woods where the bears are I could build a house out of branches and trees and stuff so they can’t get in. I saw Cody do that one time on Dual Survival and it looked very easy to me. He just cut down logs and stuck them all together and covered them with branches and I know it cannot be hard.
On Dual Survival Dave always hunts for food and I could hunt for food except I don’t think I could kill animals because I like animals. And I don’t have a gun or a knife. I guess I will have to be like Cody and eat plants and bugs and stuff. Dave says he does not like plants and bugs and stuff because he needs some MEAT.
He says it big like that, “Cody, I do not like bugs I need some MEAT!” I think Dave should have said thank you when Cody gave him a bug because that is Good Manners but I guess his Grandma didn’t teach him Good Manners like mine did. If I have to live in the woods I will be like Cody on Dual Survival and take what I can get.
I hope I can find water. Cody and Dave are always looking for water. One time Cody had to drink water out of his sock and I don’t want to drink water out of a stinky old sock. One time on Man vs. Wild the guy drank his PEE! Can you believe that? Yuck! I will NOT drink my pee ever ever no matter what!
I will go with Mrs. Cortes back to the Sloan Foster Family tomorrow but then I really really hope she finds me a Foster Family that doesn’t have too many kids. I could live in the woods but I would rather live with a Foster Family. I don’t think I would like to eat bugs and drink pee even if I have to take what I can get.
We did not have bugs for dinner today that is for sure. We had lasagna and I love lasagna. It is my very favorite. After dinner we came back to the common area and talked about all the things we learned this week. It was Closure Group.
I raised my hand and I told them all the things I learned. I learned that it is good to talk about feelings. And I learned what to do about big stupid Ernie on the bus. And I learned that when someone is Over Stimulated I should let them Take Space. And I learned that Mr. Huffman is Ms. McIntosh’s dad. Then Mr. Paul said, “Uh...okay. Thanks, Rob
by. And Joseph, what have you learned this week?”
Now we are getting ready for the party and I can’t wait because the cake is chocolate and we have vanilla ice cream to go with it. Everyone is here except Mrs. Cortes and Ms. McIntosh but now I see them coming in the door together and it is almost time for the party! Yay!
Chapter 31
Sheriff Moore was actually quite pleasant on the phone. I told him my concerns about the Huffmans and he assured me he would look into them. Before ending the call, he thanked me and said, “Ms. McIntosh, please know that we are taking all of this very seriously. We’ll patrol the area closely tonight, and I’ll touch base with you tomorrow. If you have any concerns before then call me, regardless of the hour.” I must admit that surprised me, particularly after his lukewarm response earlier in the day.
I ended the call just as I pulled into the lot by the office of the Lodge. Another car pulled up right behind me and an older, heavyset woman climbed out, shoving what looked like mountains of file folders and boxes across the car seat before slamming shut the door. She called out to me as I stepped from the Subaru.
“Ms. McIntosh? I’m Amelia Cortes. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
I approached her and shook her outstretched hand. Robby’s caseworker. I was glad to meet her, as well. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Any news on a placement for Robby?”
She shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. We have some wonderful specialized foster families in the area that do great work with kids who have special needs, but there are never enough. With the economic crisis, the number of kids in the system has skyrocketed, and many of them need specialized care for either physical or mental health challenges. The foster families we have are stretched thin.”
“And it’s definite that the temporary placement can’t keep Robby longer?” I asked.
She sighed. “Technically, Robby could stay with the Sloans. They don’t have more children than our policy will allow. But it’s too big of a burden on the family. They have two very young foster children with severe medical complications. Shaken baby, you know. It’s a horrible situation. People get frustrated; they don’t understand the damage they can do.” She paused. She was a seasoned worker, and I shuddered at the thought of the things she must have seen.
“Anyway,” she said finally, “Mrs. Sloan spends her week taking the younger children for multiple medical and psychological appointments. Robby’s a high functioning kid; he doesn’t have many outside services, but even so, for Robby to remain there would overburden the family.”
“What happens if you can’t find a home?” I’d never considered that there might literally be no place for Robby to go.
“Then we look outside the area, maybe to a residential facility, although those are usually reserved for kids having behavioral issues and are notoriously difficult to get into. They often won’t take children with developmental disabilities. Even if we could get Robby in, I’d worry about his safety there.
“Or,” she continued, “we look into transferring the case to an out of area agency in the hopes that another agency might have more available foster homes. He’d be away from everything he’s ever known. Neither situation is ideal.”
I knew Isabelle had an older brother. “What about placement with a relative?”
“We tried,” she said, “and in most cases, that would be the perfect solution. Robby does have an out of state uncle who is willing, but the wife isn’t. It isn’t easy being a foster parent, and the wife has some health concerns. She doesn’t want the added stress.”
I thought about Robby, his freckled face screwed up in concentration as he tried to get the words just right. I thought about the tears in his eyes when I had mentioned his grandfather. His grandfather had been so kind to Billy May and me. That is the way of the universe; it is all connected. Billy May had always believed that. I felt as if she were with me, whispering in my ear.
I thought about Robby moving to a place where he knew no one. He was so young and vulnerable; it pained me to imagine it. That little boy needed someone in his corner. I hadn’t planned to say what I said next; it just sort of popped out.
“I happen to be closely affiliated with a respite facility.” I watched Mrs. Cortes’ expression change as she realized the implication of what I’d just said.
“Oh, my God,” she said. “It hadn’t even dawned on me that that could be an option. But you’re respite, not residential. You only operate during the week. How would that work?”
Obviously, I didn’t know all the ins and outs of the system, but given my career choice I was pretty good at thinking outside the box. I was operating out of excitement, spouting things off the top of my head without thinking them through. I was used to giving orders and making things work, but I had to remember that although I owned the physical structure, the parent company had final say in programmatic issues.
“I’ll have to speak with our parent company about this of course,” I said, “and with Nora, since she runs the place, but you’ve said the temporary placement you’ve found would be overburdened if Robby stayed there indefinitely. What if he was only there on weekends? It sounds like the foster mother is run pretty ragged during the week, going to appointments for the other children. If Robby had somewhere else to stay during the week, would that ease the burden?”
Mrs. Cortes tilted her head, looking at me curiously. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
I turned to her, the idea taking shape in my mind. “What if the foster home could be his official placement, but he could receive respite services from us during the week? I’m sure there’s red tape to go through, but I wonder if we can be creative enough to make it work.”
She hesitated. “One huge issue would be funding. We can’t pay the foster family to house Robby while also paying respite care to house Robby. And what about school? We were able to work this week into his IEP, his Individualized Education Program, but he has to return to school.”
“Let’s look at one issue at a time,” I said. “As for school, we have a van we use when we take the children on trips to town. I can see if we could arrange for the driver to transport Robby back and forth to school.”
“Okay,” Mrs. Cortes said, “but even if he can, that doesn’t take care of the funding problem. We can’t double dip into funds.”
I was almost afraid to say what I said next, but I did it anyway. “What if Robby remained in the foster care placement, but a private benefactor paid for him to receive respite services at the Lodge during the week?”
She stared at me. “Respite care is expensive. We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars for the amount of time he would need.”
“I have money,” I said, “and I can’t think of a better way to spend it.” I really couldn’t; that was the truth. I thought again of the Hollywood elite who surrounded me, with their multiple mansions and expensive toys. No, I really couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.
Mrs. Cortes was practically dancing with excitement. “There are a lot of bugs we’ll have to work out, but that just might work.”
“I’ll do my best to work things out on this end,” I said, “if your department can work things out on your end. We close down during January and February due to weather, but by that time Isabelle should be done with treatment and hopefully ready for Robby to return home.”
“I probably won’t have any sort of answer from my supervisor until tomorrow, if even then,” Mrs. Cortes said. “Will you be here for the brunch tomorrow morning?”
“I will,” I answered. “I’ll call our parent company first thing in the morning. That will at least take care of the short term problem, but what about the long term? What if his mother hasn’t met all the criteria for reunification? Then what happens to Robby?”
“Then,” Mrs. Cortes sighed, “we have to look at termination. Robby has been in the system for a long time. He used to have his grandparents, absolutely wonderful people, but with them gone we can’t keep stringing this l
ittle boy along, hoping his mom can get herself together. He needs stability. The court will terminate parental rights and he’ll be available for adoption.”
“Could he be placed with me? In California?”
Mrs. Cortes’ mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?”
“I am.” Until then I hadn’t known it, but I was.
“Well.” She looked flustered. “Let’s go sit over here.” She led me to the rocking chairs on the front porch of the Lodge. Inside, I could hear the kids gearing up for their party, and I was glad I’d soon be with them. We settled ourselves before she continued.
“The issue for you would be time,” she said. “It takes anywhere from four to nine months to become approved as a foster home in West Virginia, even longer if we’re transferring outside the area. You’d have to undergo a home study, background checks, reference checks...we’d have to pull in your local agency. His mother is in a ninety day program for alcohol and drug abuse. She’s got about six weeks to go and then the goal is reunification if she’s met all the criteria. I just don’t think there’s time to get you certified.”
Although until our conversation I hadn’t known I was joining the fight, once in it, I couldn’t give up easily. “What about this. You start the ball rolling here for me to become a foster parent. I’ll work with my local agency in California and you guys collaborate however it is you do it. Then, if she doesn’t meet criteria for reunification, I can be considered an option for Robby.”
“Ms. McIntosh,” her tone was pensive, “I’m more than happy to start the ball rolling, believe me. But I have to warn you, it isn’t easy to place a child out of state. It also isn’t easy to be a foster parent. It’s a huge commitment. Are you sure you want to open yourself up to this? It may all be for nothing, if Robby is placed back with his mother. And if he isn’t,” she placed a hand on my arm, “it will most certainly be a life changer for you.”
“I’m sure,” I said. I didn’t know how I knew I was sure, but I did. “For Robby’s sake I hope Isabelle gets her life in order. But if she doesn’t, I want to be considered an option for Robby.”
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