by Teagan Kade
I start the car considering what to do next but can’t seem to come to any kind of concrete answer. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe I need more time to work things out.
While Maya drifts further and further away?
I select a gear and cruise out of the parking lot, my head no clearer.
*
Dad’s secretary sees me entering. “Titus, hi. He wasn’t expecting—”
I ignore her and walk straight into his office, closing the door behind myself.
Dad eyes me carefully, speaking into his cell. “I’m going to have to call you back, Bob.”
He hangs up and places the cell down. “To what do I owe this pleasure, Titus? And don’t tell me because it’s because you wanted to see your dear old dad.”
I take a seat and survey the office. It’s homier than his main office in the city, but still suitably garish. There’s too much dead wood for my liking, the walls cluttered with trophies and achievements, a veritable smorgasbord of success. I spot Peyton’s picture, but none of us others make the cut. ‘You have to earn your place on this wall,’ Dad told us once.
I press out my cheek with my tongue thinking how best to approach this. “You remember Maya?”
“The girl at the hospital? The one tutoring you, right?”
I hit him with it. “She’s pregnant, and she says it’s mine.”
He’s in instant attack mode. “What the fuck did she do? Screw you while you were sleeping?”
“She says we were together before the accident.”
“And you believe her?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Dad tents his fingers, pausing for a long time. “Mmm. Bit of a predicament. If it is yours—and for argument’s sake let’s say it is—she could really mess things up for you here, son, make big trouble for you later when you’re at the pinnacle of your career. Something like this could upend everything we’ve worked for.” He always does this, implies our success is somehow his too.
He stands and taps his desk. “Let me call my attorney and get him in on this. We can pay her off, dust this up nice and fast, get rid of this bloodsucker once for all.”
“She’s not a bloodsucker, Dad.”
He jerks back. “What? Now you’re defending her, this girl who’s trying to ruin you? I’ve seen some magical pussy power in my time, but that would have to take the cake, son.”
Now I’m standing. “Dad. Jesus, she’s not looking for a handout or to fuck my life. She wouldn’t do that to me. She said we were going to get married, actually, that I proposed before the accident.”
“And you know her so well,” he snaps back, words thick with sarcasm.
“In a way.”
He sighs, holding his head. “Titus, don’t tell me you’re—”
I beat him to it. “Seeing her, screwing her? All of the above, or I was, but that’s my decision.” I tap my chest.
“And the kid?”
I don’t know how to reply, seating myself and feeling the fight leave me. I’ve been an idiot to assume the worst of Maya based on my previous self and what I can’t remember. It’s not fair to her. It’s not fair to anyone. I’ve been a grade-A asshole.
Dad comes around to the front of his desk, seating himself there with one leg up, looks pretty damn stately, funnily enough, like someone who might actually care. “Look, I get it, and you’ve got to bear with me a little here because a minute ago I was sitting here teeing up golf with the Governor and here you come marching in demanding what? I don’t know, so tell me what you want from me, son.”
I breathe out. “I don’t even know myself,” I laugh.
Dad holds his hand up, eyes looking to the back of the room. “Wait, wait, wait.”
I look back but can’t see anything. “Dad?”
He stands and paces, looks like he’s had an epiphany, or crapped his pants—could be either at his age. “You know, something weird did happen back before the accident. You came to me.”
“I did?”
“This very office.”
He doesn’t elaborate. “And?”
“You sat there, right in that chair, and asked for the ring your mother left you to give your future wife.”
This is new. “I did?”
“I remember asking ‘What wife?’ but you weren’t big on details and I had a meeting, didn’t have time to go over it.”
I’m reeling, sit forward in the chair. “You gave it to me, Mom’s ring?” All this time I thought I had the thing, thought Maya had stolen it from me somehow.
“Thinking you were going to pawn it off for car parts or something, sure,” Dad continues, “didn’t exactly feel good about it, but that’s what happened.”
I try to piece the timeline together. “When was this exactly?”
He shakes his head. “Oh, god, I don’t know, maybe a few days before the accident, which I still don’t think was an accident if you’re asking me. I was going to get Legal to—”
But I’m in full thinking overdrive. I cut him off. “Forget the accident, Dad. You’re saying you gave me the ring?”
“I already told you that, didn’t I?”
The timing fits. Fuck. It all fits.
I stand up. “Shit.”
“What?”
I start to the door.
“Where are you going?”
I open the office door and turn back briefly. “I’ve got to go.”
“You know I’d love it if you came by one day for no reason at all, when there wasn’t some god damn crisis going on.”
“Another time, Dad, but right now I’ve got to right a wrong.”
Dad nods. “Just make sure you remember the King motto now.”
“Be good to those who are good and fuck the rest of them?”
“No,” he laughs. “in this family, no one fights alone.”
“It’s not a fight I’m looking for, Dad. It’s redemption.”
“Well, true redemption is seized when you accept the future consequences for your past mistakes.”
I can’t help but look shocked. “When did you get so wise?”
“That one came from Alissa, actually.”
And here I was thinking she was nothing but a walking Christmas ornament. “Hang onto that one. Hate to say it, but she might have potential.”
“I intend to,” he smiles, “now fuck off. I’ve got work to do.”
I smile back and close the door, running for the stairs.
*
I keep the car running in the drive when I pull up at home, shoving aside a pizza-wielding Phoenix on my way through the house. I take the stairs two at a time, bursting into my room. “Now where the hell did I put it?” I ask myself.
I search around, checking the box Maya sent, the bed, finally find the ring on my desk. I hold it up and know without question I’ve screwed up badly here so, so very badly. The bigger question is how I’m going to fix it, but it’s got to start with putting this ring where it rightfully belongs.
I pocket it and run back down the stairs.
“Where the hell are you going in such a hurry?” yells Phoenix as I blast past him again.
“To get my future back.”
“Oh, cool. Can you ask it where my gym socks are? Can’t find those fuckers anywhere.”
I’m shaking my head as I hit the driveaway, but I’m smiling, smiling because I know there’s a chance I can make this right, to bring everything back into order once more.
I might not find Phoenix’s gym socks where I’m going, but I’m not coming home empty-handed either.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
MAYA
I stare down at four boxes on the floor of my bedroom. It’s funny how my whole life can be reduced down to this, everything I own ready to be hauled away. Graduation’s only a week away and I want to be ready to hit the road the second classes finish.
A new start, I remind myself. It’s what you need.
“Damn straight,” I say aloud.
I hear Chr
issy’s voice from the doorway. “And now you’re talking to yourself. Should I drop you at the bus station or the local looney bin? Personally, I always thought a padded room sounded kind of cozy.”
“You would,” I laugh, hunting under the bed for anything I may have missed, which turns out to be a single, haggard hair tie.
“Probably find Atlantis if you looked under my bed.”
I sit up on my haunches looking towards the window. “Going to miss this room. The town, maybe not so much, but we had some good times here, didn’t we?” I turn to look at her and I swear the uncrackable never-cry Chrissy Williams is close to tears. She walks forward and kneels down beside me, pulling me into a tight bear hug. “What am I going to do without you, huh?”
“You’ll be just fine.”
She sits back smiling. “If my next roomie kills me in my sleep, I’m blaming it on you, got it?”
“Hey, I almost killed you in your sleep. You do know how loud you snore, right? And that weird blowing bubbles thing with your mouth.” I make an action like a fish gulping for air.
She points to the door. “Bitch, you can go now.”
I shove her. She goes toppling over onto her ass. “And violent. My, my.”
There’s a knock at the front door. Chrissy jumps up. “That’ll be the Uber Eats guy. Breakfast burrito, here I come!”
She rushes off to the door while I search around the bottom of the closet, but the room’s bare.
Maybe you’ll find lost memories if you look hard enough?
I push that thought well aside and stand with my hands on my hips surveying the space.
Four boxes.
Boston.
A fresh start.
“Maya,” says Chrissy from the doorway.
I remain where I am. “I don’t want none of your damn seedy breakfast burrito.”
“Maya,” she repeats.
I spin around. “Wh—” but the word catches in my throat when I see Titus standing there.
I glare at Chrissy, but she simply shrugs, mouthing ‘I didn’t know what to do.’
I turn my attention back to Titus, folding my arms. “Why are you here?”
Chrissy shoves him, quite literally, inside the room and closes the door behind herself, giving me one final ‘I’m sorry’! before it’s just the two of us.
Titus remains where he is. He’s clean, freshly shaven. He makes no attempt to approach me. He looks at the boxes. “You’re packing.”
I keep watching him. “Bravo, Sherlock. Any more insightful deductions you’d like to share after you show up here unannounced? How did you convince Chrissy to let you in, by the way?”
“She just wants the best for you, Maya.”
I laugh aloud. “And that’s you? Come on now. Your head can’t still be that inflated.”
He scrunches his face up, palming the side of it. “That’s not… Fuck…. This isn’t going how I imagined. I came to apologize, okay?”
“To grovel?” I counter.
“If that’s what it takes. You want me on my knees? I’ll do it. You want me to beg, plead? I’ll do that too, because I need you in my life, Maya. It’s so crystal clear to me now it hurts? I was an idiot, an asshole, and I’m here to make it right.”
I look past him. “And if I want you to walk back out that door?”
“That I cannot do.” He takes a step forward. “I know how I’ve been. I know how I’ve treated you, and it hasn’t been fair. You don’t know how fucking sorry I am for all that, truly, but you have to believe me now when I say I want to be with you, with our son or daughter.”
He’s not getting off the hook like this. No way. He’s going to damn well work for it. “Ah, so it’s just because you want to get close to the kid, right? Play daddy for a day or two?”
I see him squirm, but he doesn’t lose control. “That’s not fair, and yeah, I do want to be close to this kid, and you. More than anything, you, Maya. I miss what we had. I miss everything and I know I screwed it all up, but I’m here asking for another chance.”
I throw my arms up. “You don’t even remember what we had!”
He continues forward pounding at his head. “And that’s not my fault, Maya. I can’t magically turn that part of my brain back on, but I can start fresh with you, make new memories if you’ll just let me back in.”
Pressure is building behind my eyes. I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I can do this, rehash this whole haunted thing. “It’s not that easy, Titus.”
He’s only a foot or so away. I desperately want to give in, to have him hold me and kiss me and treat me like I’m the only thing in the world that matters to him, but I can’t.
Why not? my head shouts. I’m punishing him to get back at him rather than simply protecting my heart, to cage it and shield it and make it stronger.
It’s this realization that hits me right in the gut and I know I have to relent, even if it’s only a little. I have to think of the baby, what’s right not just for me, but that little life growing inside me.
“Maya?” Titus asks. “Did you hear what I said?”
I pull my hair back over my shoulders, my head lolling from side to side. “Maybe we should discuss custody arrangements.”
He reaches for my hand and I don’t move it. I let him take it, sighing at the memory of his touch, how much I’ve missed it. “I want to marry you, Maya.”
I give a stunted laugh. “We’ve gone from a custody arrangement to marriage? This isn’t 1950.”
“It’s not because I’m obligated, or I think there’s some kind of external pressure at play here. I want to be with you forever and nothing else is going to make me happy. I know that now. I feel it with every inch of my being,” he taps his chest, “with every breath I take. I walk one step and it’s painful because you’re not there by my side. I can’t live without you and I won’t, so marry me, Maya Riordan. Marry me and make me the happiest man in the world.”
God damn he’s more compelling than ever today, or maybe I’m just weaker, but the pull towards him is undeniable. Would it be so bad? I consider. “I don’t know…”
“Maya…”
I want to give in so bad. I try to meet him halfway. “Maybe we could have a trial relationship.”
He looks to the boxes. “Long distance?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
He leads us to the bed, sitting us down on the edge and placing both hands on mine, pressing them against the top of my thigh. “I’m going to marry you, Maya. There’s no other future for me. It’s all or nothing.”
“I thought you didn’t believe me.”
“I’ve come to a certain clarity on the matter. I believe you, honestly. I was a fool to think otherwise.”
He’s saying all the right words, but I can’t tamp down that edge of annoyance skirting my thoughts. I’m having a hard time holding out, but I don’t think he knows me well enough without his memory restored to make a real commitment like this.
But isn’t this exactly what you’ve been wanting? my head fights back.
I try to change the subject. “I heard you signed with a Major League team.”
He straightens. “With the Red Sox, yeah.”
It’s like someone’s shoved a cattle prod up my butt. “Boston?”
He nods. “The one and only. Everything clicked. It’s the right move, felt right.” He looks to the boxes. “How about you?”
“It’s what we planned, before the accident.”
“What’s that?”
Jesus, he genuinely doesn’t know.
“We were going to get married, move to Boston, and start a family,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “Serious?”
I nod, pulling the nearest box to me and opening it, taking a folded piece of paper from the top and showing it to him. “We wrote down all the things we wanted to do when we got there, see? It’s your handwriting.”
He looks over the list, laughing. “Stroll the Greenway, splurge on Newbury Street, visit an
Irish Pub… Sex in a sports bar? You sure you were part of this?”
I can’t help smiling thinking back to the rainy afternoon we sat right here in this very room and went through it all, me with my laptop and Titus with this slip of paper, massaging my neck as he wrote.
I reach deeper into the box and take out a Red Sox pennant. “I bought this online the next day, thought we could put it up when we moved.”
He places the paper down and gets onto one knee before me, reaching into his pocket and taking out his mother’s ring, rolling it over in his fingers. “You know, I knew I gravitated towards Boston for a reason. I could feel it, like a sixth sense it was where I had to go. The city just stuck with me for some reason.”
“Titus,” I tell him, “you might never get your memory back.”
“So let us fill it in again, start over.”
I’m teetering. I want to give in so bad. So very, very bad.
Just do it, Maya. Be happy.
I reach forward and touch the side of his face. I’ve missed this. “We can date, after we’ve moved, and that’s my best offer.”
He shakes his head. “No.”
I’m shocked. “No?”
“No.” He takes my hand and slides the ring into place as stubborn as ever, “we’re getting married and we’re doing it today. I can’t wait any longer.”
I have to laugh. “Ti, come on, we—”
He puts a finger onto my lips. “Don’t speak. Just nod your head and I’ll do the rest. I’ll be there for you, always, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, to make you my wife.”
I’m smiling and it’s because this is the Titus I remember, stubborn as a mule and always getting his way no matter what. And maybe I don’t want to be an obstacle anymore. Maybe I should give him the chance, because he sure as hell seems desperate enough to please me. Don’t I deserve to be happy, after everything?
I look into my own future and I still see him there, clear as ever. I could marry him. We could start new.