by Eva Brandt
“You talk too much, Sariel,” Uriel replied, his eyes flashing.
“And you’re an asshole. Just drop the pretense and admit it.”
Wait, what? This had all been a trap so I’d make a fool of myself and prove I was unworthy of being here? I stared between Sariel and Uriel, not sure how to feel anymore.
“If you have a problem with me,” I whispered at last, “you should say it to my face and not take it out on other people. But I guess this works too. You and your fellows are doing a great job at proving The Celestial Realm couldn’t care less about justice and truth. You’re only divine in words. In everything else, you’re just pretenders.”
Just like that, the amusement in Uriel’s stance vanished. “Is that a fact? Or maybe you’re just a liar unable to accept the gift she’s been given and finding excuses to run away and hide. After all, it’s so much easier to blame someone else for your failures.”
I opened my mouth, a retort already on my lips. I never got the chance to say a word. Uriel extended his hand toward me. Yeqon hissed in displeasure. Azazel stood up, his wings flaring.
Everyone else was watching the scene in utter confusion. But Uriel didn’t try to hit us or torture us. A soft hum filled the air, echoing in my ears like a distant symphony.
“You still have a lot to learn, Delilah St. John. The Celestial Realm isn’t very welcoming for someone like you, because you don’t understand the true extent of an angel’s devotion and suffering. But that’s all right. You will.
“You’re standing up for them because you think that’s what you have to do. You think it makes you superior, better than them. But you’re not.”
He didn’t sound angry anymore. If anything, he sounded calm, matter-of-fact, as if he was presenting a natural state of affairs, something I had no say in. And maybe I didn’t, because at that moment, I realized he was telling the truth.
I didn’t understand these things. Up to a point I didn’t want to understand them. But was that really so bad?
My parents had paid a dire price for the happiness of others. Lucifer had hope now—literally—but I didn’t, not anymore. Yes, I was angry, resentful, and hated Watchers because of it. Who had the right to say that my feelings were wrong?
“I never claimed to be better than anyone,” I told him. “I never claimed I was angel material. If I’m here, it’s because I was chosen and someone saw something in me that I couldn’t.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that my family was killed because of the selfishness of your world. If I hate the people guilty for that crime, I don’t think it’s your place to judge me.”
“And yet, you’re judging me for resenting the Watchers. If you were in my shoes, Delilah, wouldn’t you want to make sure these people never hurt anyone again? Even if it costs you your heart and your integrity, wouldn’t you throw that away for the benefit of the innocent?”
“I would,” I replied, “as long as I believed there was no other choice. But here’s the thing. No one is forcing the Watchers to stay here. They came because they thought it was the right thing to do. I might not know all the details, but that means something. And if you’re ignoring it, then you’re missing the big picture.”
Uriel fell silent, but his power crackled over the room, fierce, yet curious, testing me. His fingers twitched, and I could feel them brushing over my spine, over my incipient wings.
It wasn’t painful, but it still felt invasive, and I immediately recoiled. Yeqon snarled, and fire bloomed in Azazel’s hand. “I’d stop that if I were you,” Sariel said.
The ghostly touch vanished. “I believe we’ve gone off track during this lesson,” Uriel declared. “Delilah, sit down or get out. I won’t discuss my teaching methods with you, not now or at any other time. If you have any further problems, take it to the dean.”
Still feeling shaken, I plopped back onto the bench, with the trio flanking me again. “I’m such an idiot,” I muttered under my breath.
“You’re a good person,” Azazel replied. “And yes, maybe that’s a disadvantage when you’re dealing with people like us, but that doesn’t make it wrong.”
Sariel shot me a quick, barely there smile. “It doesn’t make anything you think or feel wrong.”
Once again, I got the feeling that he could see straight through me, through every barrier I might have tried to put up. Turning away, I focused on Uriel once again.
And when Uriel extracted another feather—this time just from himself—I gritted my teeth and endured it.
* * *
Two days after the debacle in Energy Projection, I sat in the library of Watcher Academy, feeling like I was about to explode. I hadn’t been going to too many classes. Professor Grim hadn’t come to see me again. My sessions with Ariel continued, but she hadn’t taken me to Nature Bonding again. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
I was trying to use the time I had at my disposal constructively, but it was a little easier said than done, and not just because my teachers were being assholes.
No matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise, I remained a human being. People weren’t machines, and I couldn’t keep going at this pace and hope I stayed sane.
Angels didn’t need petty things like entertainment. I’d asked Ariel what she did to relax, and she’d just stared at me like I’d sprouted a second head. That left me with a single possible activity of leisure—trying to find something to read.
Locating the library hadn’t been very difficult. I’d just asked Sariel about it, and he’d pointed me in the right direction. It was in The Halls of Truth, so coming here wasn’t a problem.
Unfortunately, most of the books I could find were in languages I didn’t understand, and the few that were in English were non-fiction reports on technical matters.
It was nice to feel the pages under my fingertips, but beyond that, it didn’t really help.
With a sigh, I closed the tome and placed it back on the shelf I’d taken it from. The library was empty, and I headed toward the exit.
That was when I heard the noise. It sounded an awful lot like a moan.
I froze in my tracks. My first thought was that someone was hurt. I had to step in. But the last time I’d done it hadn’t gone so well. Uriel had stopped using that student, so it hadn’t been a complete failure, but I was pretty sure he was being harder on everyone now.
Besides, Uriel had been right about one thing. I hadn’t forgiven these people and I didn’t think I ever could.
But despite all that, I found myself following the source of the sound regardless. It was only a few seconds later that I realized the moan had been one of pleasure, not pain.
I should have left right then and there. I should have turned on my heel and fled. I didn’t.
Instead, I peeked around a shelf, and that was when I saw them. Yeqon was on the floor on all fours, and Azazel was fucking him from behind. Sariel was thrusting his cock in and out of his mouth, all the while gripping one of his rainbow-colored wings in a tight fist.
My mind just about broke. A part of me was screaming to leave. This was none of my business. But I couldn’t make myself move. My body refused to obey.
As I watched, Sariel’s free hand extended and turned into a tentacle. The appendage reached down, beneath them, zeroing in on Yeqon’s dick. Because of the angle, I couldn’t see what they were actually doing, but the muffled sound Yeqon let out was enough to give me a clue.
I should have found it strange, maybe even disgusting, but I didn’t. There was a weird balance in everything Sariel did, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
Maybe it was, for them. After all, the Grim Reaper had said they’d lived like this for a good couple of centuries before I’d come along.
Of course, today was not at all my lucky day—not that I’d had any lucky days since my death. The Watchers were far more perceptive than I could ever hope to be, but I didn’t realize it until I was jerked out of my hiding spot by an unseen force.
> I automatically yelped as I was lifted into the air, another tentacle squeezing my waist in a gentle, but stern hold.
“Hey! Let me go!”
“Give me one good reason why I should,” Azazel drawled. He was still moving in and out of Yeqon’s ass, but he didn’t seem to have any problem holding me aloft at the same time. “You were spying on us.”
“I wasn’t spying,” I protested weakly. “I was just passing by when I heard a noise.”
The three Watchers didn’t even deign that with a reply. We all knew that I could have easily left much sooner had my intentions been so innocent.
The world blurred, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the floor. The still naked Watchers were standing in front of me, no longer engaged in what they’d been doing before.
Because of our position, their cocks were directly in front of me. I shielded my face and frantically tried to wave them away. “Cover yourselves. Come on.”
“Why should we?” Yeqon asked. “We’re not shy.”
I could see where this was going and I didn’t like it. It was my own fault for spying on them, but I needed to stop it before it got any further.
I got up and did my best to ignore their nudity, staring only at their faces. “Right. Well, I’m just… I’m going to go now. I apologize for interrupting you. It wasn’t what I wanted. I…”
They didn’t even let me finish the phrase. Stalking up to me, they surrounded me, their wings flaring with an almost threatening energy.
“I know what you want, sweetheart,” Yeqon purred. “You cling to your past, but the truth is you ache for us just like we ache for you.”
“It’s true,” Sariel whispered. His voice was like silk and steel, weaving a spell of seduction around me. “You don’t have to fight it. It’s pointless to resist.”
Azazel brushed his lips over my neck, and my spine tingled, my incipient wings responding to the energy he emanated. “You’re ours. You always have been. There’s no shame in that.”
They were so close, too close, their strength and magic overpowering mine. I felt like I was suffocating, my body aflame with desire and conflicting emotions. My breasts tingled and heat pooled into my core, making my pussy clench around empty air.
I was a being of spirit and willpower. I shouldn’t have been able to experience such things. But I did, and it hurt.
“There’s a reason why you were watching us,” Yeqon said. “You don’t need to apologize for it. You can have whatever you want.”
It would have been so easy to agree with him, to accept the promise in his surreal eyes. But he was my enemy, and no amount of archangel classes would ever fix my most basic truth.
He and the other Watchers had supported Lucifer. They’d killed me. They’d killed my parents.
I might have been able to forgive my own death, but I’d never accept what had happened to my family.
I grabbed Azazel’s shoulder and pushed him away as hard as I could. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. It was like trying to move a mountain.
“Are you going to force me, then? I thought you don’t do that sort of thing.”
“We don’t,” Sariel answered. “Even if it were possible here—and it’s not, because the Supreme Being would never stand for it—we’d never actually hurt you.”
I could have told them they’d already hurt me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stitch myself back together or change the harsh truths that burned inside me.
But maybe that was the whole problem. I’d been trying so hard, fighting a battle that was, in the end, unwinnable.
“I don’t believe you,” I told them. “But I don’t know what to do.”
They were trapped in this awful prison, where their bodies could be turned into something entirely different at any given moment. But they were, in their own way, content. They had each other. What did I have?
“Do you want me?”
It was stupid to let this happen, but maybe… Maybe just this once, it would be okay. I was so lonely. When they were with me, this realm wasn’t as cold and unwelcoming. Even if they constantly infuriated me, that anger made me feel alive.
The academy was beautiful, in its own way, but it still scared me. Every second of every day—all those little moments I couldn’t measure any longer—I could taste death on my tongue. I couldn’t bear it.
“We want you more than we’ve ever wanted anything in our lives,” Sariel said. “In this one, or any other.”
Sariel sounded completely serious, but then again, he always did. I appreciated the flattery, even if I knew his words were most likely false. They’d undoubtedly had far more beautiful lovers, and none of them had come with the baggage I carried. But I didn’t want to think about that, not anymore.
“So take me,” I replied before I could change my mind.
They didn’t have to be told twice. Sariel pulled me closer to him and crushed our mouths together. I melted against his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck, surrendering to him.
It should have been at least a little awkward. I didn’t have a lot of experience with boys and my relationship so far with the three Watchers had been rocky to say the least. But Sariel’s touch chased away those doubts, just like I had hoped.
When he licked over the seam of my lips, I easily granted him entrance. And as he thrust his tongue into my mouth, I forgot about everything that wasn’t the here and now.
Sariel didn’t rush, and Azazel and Yeqon weren’t idle either. With a touch, Yeqon made my gown evaporate. I probably would have been startled, but then, Azazel brushed his fingers over my incipient wings and a new wave of arousal surged through me.
In an automatic reaction, I bit Sariel’s lower lip. I tasted blood in my mouth, which was odd because our bodies shouldn’t have bled while we were here. But Sariel didn’t seem to find it as strange as I did. If anything, it encouraged him.
His hand traveled over my naked side and he clutched my hip in a strong grip. His fingernails seemed very sharp and painfully dug into my flesh. But even if it hurt, I didn’t find it off-putting. It made me feel real, warm, and desired.
I let out a muffled moan, rubbing my bare breasts against Sariel’s chest. It was so convenient that they hadn’t bothered to get dressed, because now, I could touch them in whatever way I wanted.
But I was a virgin and, even following my own desires, I had no idea what to do when suddenly thrust into a sexual situation with three men. My body pulsed with arousal and energy, but it just confused me.
My Watchers didn’t have that problem. Their life force wrapped itself around me in a viciously protective cocoon. The next thing I knew, I was in their room again, transported from the library, to their refuge.
The first time I’d been here, I hadn’t reacted well. Right now, that seemed very stupid and short-sighted. Sariel set me down on the bed and the look he and the others gave me threatened to set me ablaze.
“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” he asked. “I had my doubts about coming back here, but now, I’ve changed my mind.”
Yeqon joined me on the bed and cupped my chin in a hold that was somehow both soothing and possessive. “People call us demons, but you’re the one liable to damn our souls.”
I didn’t think I’d done anything special, but if they thought I had, I had no intention of clarifying the misconception.
I was close enough to Yeqon that I could see the tiny specks of light glittering in his eyes like the shards of a dying star. It was beautiful, but paradoxically, it made him look even more savage. His lips curled in a wicked smirk and his wings flashed, the shades of red bleeding into all the other feathers.
It was the only warning I got before Yeqon pounced on me. His kiss wasn’t like Sariel’s. There was nothing comforting about it, just pure passion overwhelming my senses, even those I wasn’t aware of.
Completely distracted by Yeqon, I missed the moment Sariel and Azazel joined us. I only realized what was going on when a talented tong
ue started swirling around my right nipple. Soft hands spread my legs apart, and I was too far gone to feel any embarrassment or apprehension.
Azazel thrust his tongue into my pussy and my world melted away. Pleasure exploded over me, and with it, came a new need, one to drag them even closer to me, to pull them all the way into my skin. I blindly reached out for them, tugging, crying, moaning, burning, and desperate for them.
Sariel pressed his hand to my heart and a mild chill invaded my body. It would have been unnerving, but it contrasted so sharply with the heat Azazel and Yeqon emanated that the pleasure was too blinding to feel anything else.
It was like being in heaven and hell at the same time. I was tugged between two conflicting, beautiful, yet impossibly terrifying sensations.
At one point, something wriggled its way between our bodies, zeroing in on my ass. When it prodded my anus, I instinctively tensed, but my resistance didn’t last for too long.
At the same time, Azazel decided I wasn’t being tortured enough and he slowly started sucking on my clit. One of his fingers slid into my pussy, a promise and a temptation too powerful for me to endure.
The wicked secondary appendage finally entered my ass. It was slender enough that it didn’t cause much discomfort, but the way it moved also made me aware of every nerve ending in my body.
By now, Yeqon had stopped kissing me and started caressing every part of me he could reach. Sariel’s tongue trailed over my chest, the cold fire of his power threatening to shatter me on the spot.
Lost in the whirlpool of sensation, I couldn’t have said what actually made me come. Maybe it wasn’t anything in particular, just the natural build up of ecstasy. Or maybe it was the way Sariel whispered my name, with a dose of need that felt almost reverential.
“Delilah…”
His icy hold on my core vanished, and with a sob, I came, shaking against him and Yeqon, still moving against Azazel. The sensations that coursed through my body were so intense I thought I’d fall apart, and this time, nothing, not even the Grim Reaper, would be able to save me.
The concept didn’t scare me. The painful pleasure distracted me from anything that could have kept me from enjoying this moment. At the back of my mind, a strange thought pulsed.