Why was I here? Had this happened before?
I was determined to uncover the truth.
Chapter 9
The next afternoon after school, I headed back into town toward the library, determined to get the answers I needed. I’d looked up its location today during computer lab, not wanting to tip anybody off by asking its whereabouts. Fortunately, it wasn’t far from the school.
I picked up my pace as I passed through P8’s city center, and pulled my coat tighter around me grateful for its warmth in the cool late afternoon air. The quiet streets cast an eerie pallor on the pre-twilight avenues. I turned the corner onto Renault Avenue, keeping my head down, not wanting to bring attention to myself. Not that there was anyone lurking about. Yet, I shivered, and not from the cold. I felt exposed, almost as though someone was watching me. Of course, I was just being paranoid, so I forced myself to focus on my feet, putting one foot in front of the other, counting the cracks in the pavement.
One. Two. Three. Four…
An unexplained, urgent need to hurry burst from somewhere inside me, propelling me forward. As I walked, I pondered my new situation and realized I preferred it in many ways. Or at least I thought I did. Didn’t I? With a belly always satiated and two loving parents, what more could I want? Yet somehow it didn’t feel right—like I didn’t belong. Did that mean I shouldn’t be in P8? Perhaps they’d made a mistake. I couldn’t think of any other answer.
Five. Six. Seven… I allowed the soothing rhythm of the sums to calm my scattered thoughts. I wasn’t sure when I became so OCD, every year it seemed to get stronger. I liked things in their place, and numerology because of its precise order—it just made sense. And unlike people, the numbers never lied. There was a comfort in having control and I craved it, having little in my own life.
I checked the map on the phone I’d discovered in my bedroom last night. I verified the location I scouted out earlier in the day. Apparently implanting the locality of the library into my brain lay low on the list of priorities—to whoever had been in charge of these things. Perhaps being studious didn’t matter as much as I believed it to.
For goodness’ sake, I thought angrily, taking a right turn before stomping down Peris Street toward the library entrance. I had to stop acting like any of this was legit. My new memories were interfering with the old and creating havoc in my mind.
I stuffed my phone back into the pocket of my khakis and contemplated what had been weighing on me since I’d arrived. These new memories they had given me—whose were they? At the debriefing before departing W1 Nova, the officers had said our memories would be wiped clean so we’d leave our haunting pasts behind and begin anew. Being implanted with completely new memories was not mentioned. I’d been so caught up in trying to escape my fate, I never took the time to think about all the implications of that. I suppose if they stole original thoughts and impressions from you, you would have to have some baseline life facts to start over.
Was it possible to exist in more than one place? Or had they stolen someone else’s identity completely so I could come here? I shivered again and counted the steps that led up to the imposing brick building in front of me. It appeared almost identical to the school except for the big sign overhead that read—P8 Public Library.
The sameness of this place really wigged me out.
I pushed one of the heavy wooden doors open and it squeaked loudly. I winced as the sound pierced my eardrums.
I gazed in awe at my magnificent surroundings. I’d never seen so many books—not like this. They loomed above and around me, stack upon stack, all different colors and sizes resting on shelves that reached the ceiling. Ladders attached to the walls ran along the ledges for access to the high reaching publications.
I cautiously stepped forward into one of the isles. The smell of old volumes filled the atmosphere, and I inhaled their musty odor.
I dropped my backpack and slid a finger down the spines. I perused the titles—realizing this must be the classics area. Moby Dick, The Tale of Two Cities, and Pride and Prejudice peaked out and I itched to pluck them from the shelves. I wanted to read them all.
I jumped when someone behind me cleared their throat. I whirled around to find a boy about my age, staring inquisitively at me. He had crystal clear blue eyes, the color of a mountain stream.
“Are you looking for a particular book, Miss? I’m happy to help.” The smile in his voice made me relax a little.
The soft library lighting shone down on his short chestnut brown hair and he wore a button-down pink shirt that showed off his golden tan skin. He wasn’t quite as tall as Orion, but still he towered over my petite frame. The fact he wasn’t wearing the school-issued colors indicated that he was beyond school age, but he appeared young; probably a recent graduate.
“Can you tell me where the section on government is located?” I asked.
The boy flashed me a surprised look, but quickly schooled his features, giving me a curt nod.
“Of course. Please come this way.”
He led me through a maze of isles until we reached a dimly lit back corner of the library. The first place I’d seen since arriving in P8 that didn’t seem to have that perfect polish.
“Here we are. These last two rows are all that we have on government and politics. If you are looking for a particular title, I would be happy to help you find it.”
I rushed forward eager to get started. “Oh no. This is fine. I don’t have a particular book in mind. Thank you. You’ve been really helpful.”
He smiled, but a hint of sadness shadowed his crystal blue eyes. “Any time, Miss. By the way, my name is Zander. Give me a holler if you need anything.”
With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared. I stood there for a minute, looking after him. Zander, yet another stranger that seemed somehow familiar. But unlike Mara, there was no memories of him—new or old. I shook my head, certain I was being ridiculous. Of course I wouldn’t recognize this boy, I just met him.
Get a grip, Redwood, I admonished myself. Time to get down to business. I needed to find some answers. I turned to face the books before me; I decided to start my search in the last row closest to the wall. My gaze flitted over the titles and I picked out a few volumes that looked promising and took them over to a cluster of circular tables in the center of the room. The lighting was a lot better over here, thanks to the warm glow coming from the stained glass dome overhead. One couldn’t help but admire the rich diamond configuration of the opalescent glass set into a framework of brass. The paisley-patterned maroon carpet underfoot probably cost a year’s wages back home. I’d never seen anything so plush. I resisted the urge to bend down and touch it and instead settled down to read.
I spent the next hour pulling books from the shelves, skimming through them, and then returning them for more. All the records seemed vague. The only useful information I’d gleaned was that the president came into office ten years ago and had no limit on how long he stayed in term. Based on these accounts, everyone seemed to be happy with the system and didn’t want to change anything.
I was flipping through the last hardcover when Zander suddenly appeared. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can help you with, Miss?”
I smiled up at him, grateful for any distraction from these tedious records. “Call me Luna. Miss seems so formal.” I squished up my nose and he laughed a little.
“Well, Luna. Is there anything you need?”
I shut the final book in frustration. “I’m looking for information on political structure, and how this, I mean—our government all got started. But I can’t seem to find much on the history.”
Zander frowned. “There really aren’t any volumes on that topic, I’m afraid. Perhaps you should call it a day. We are about to close soon, anyway.”
I nodded, surprised at his dismissive tone. Something I’d said had apparently ruffled his feathers. I wanted to ask him what his deal was, but bit my tongue. I needed to stay under the radar.
So in
stead I stood up to go. “You’re probably right. I better get home.”
“Here, let me take the rest of those for you, I can re-shelf them. Have a good night, Luna.”
Quick as a flash, he had all the books scooped up and hurriedly made his way back to the stacks.
“You too,” I replied belatedly, but he’d already gone. I shrugged and left him to it.
It was twilight by the time I stepped out of the building. The electric lamps cast a warm glow onto the concrete pavement, and again I marveled at the cleanliness of everything. Even the roads were swept spotless. What I wouldn’t have given to have all this on Nova. But on second thought, debris and lack of electricity made it easier to hide in the shadows and steal, so perhaps it had been for the best. On my brief sojourn home, my mind mulled over the information I’d read at the library, and I began to wonder why, for a place so adamant about education, there was so little on how the very framework of this country was built. Zander’s strange behavior also niggled at me. Why did he look so nervous when I asked for information on government structure? Nothing added up.
Before I knew it, I’d arrived at the house. I lifted my fist, giving four even raps on the door, when it dawned on me this was supposed to be my home. I gave a quick cursory glance around to check no one had seen my faux pas. I placed a hand to my heart, relieved to find the street behind me devoid of people. I had to be more careful.
I twisted the doorknob and discovered the door was unlocked. I stepped inside. Both parents were in the kitchen waiting for me, their faces pale and concerned.
A chill shot up my spine. They’d found out. That had to be it. I dropped my backpack on the floor with a thud and stared at them both. “What’s happened?” I whispered.
My mother ran to me and squeezed me so hard, it took my breath away. “We were so worried. Where have you been all this time? We called you multiple times and you didn’t answer. Your father and I were about to send out a search party,” she said, her voice muffled in my sweater.
I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Sorry I missed your calls; I had my phone on silent. I was at the library. It’s not that late, is it?” I pulled back from Mom and grabbed my cell from my back pocket. The screen read 6:30 p.m.
I was used to coming and going as I pleased. Rheya had never cared. Besides, what would she say? Most of the time I was out getting food for her and her children. Perhaps I missed something, miscalculated. In this world, I must have a curfew. But what sixteen-year-old kid had a curfew before seven p.m.?
My father came over and looked down on me sternly. He put a firm but shaking hand on my shoulder. “You’re grounded through the weekend, Luna. We were worried sick. You shouldn’t have spent that long at the library. There might be consequences. You know that.”
“Grounded?” I asked perplexed. “You were really that upset about me being gone?” It seemed hard to believe. Did these people truly love me that much, that not knowing my location for even a few hours rattled them to their core?
For the second time in a matter of days, I found tears pooling in my eyes. The need in me to be wanted and loved had always been a pipe dream that would never happen, but now here it was, staring me in the face and I didn’t quite know how to react.
I wiped away the tears, but my parents saw them, and mistook them for frustration over being punished.
“We’re sorry, Luna, but this is just the way it has to be. These are the rules. You shouldn’t upset your mother,” Dad said gruffly, but he gave me a comforting pat on the back.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, my father’s words about not spending a considerable time at the library issued warning bells. Hadn’t he been the one to tell me to go in the first place? It didn’t make sense. But I couldn’t worry about that now.
All my suspicions were buried and muffled in the warmth of my parents' arms. The power of how much they cared overwhelmed me.
All I dared do was breathe it in. Never knowing how long it would be mine.
Chapter 10
I’d avoided Orion since that night he’d tried to kiss me on my front porch. But there was no getting around him now. He, Mara, and Jonah were heading straight for me as I opened my locker and stuffed my backpack inside.
“Hey Luna,” Mara said. “Where have you been the last few days? Every time we try to come talk to you, it seems like you duck out of the way. What gives?”
“Sorry, guys. My parents grounded me, and I’m not allowed to do anything but go to school and return straight home.” I felt better knowing it wasn’t a total lie.
Jonah looked at me questioningly. “Sure, but that doesn’t stop you from talking to us at school.”
I nodded, as if considering. “That’s true, I suppose. I’m just worried about getting into more trouble than I already am, I guess.”
Now it was Orion’s turn to stare at me funny. “Yeah, right. Since when do you care about the rules? You’re my little party animal,” he teased, putting a possessive arm around my shoulders, squeezing me close. It made me uncomfortable and I resisted the urge to shrug him off.
Fortunately, Mara saved the day. “Speaking of which, that’s why we came over.”
I furrowed my eyebrows confused. “What do you mean?”
She leaned in conspiratorially. “Well, Jonah’s parents are out of town this weekend, so we’re throwing a party.” She giggled excitedly. “It will be a huge blowout with tons of people. And that’s where you come in, Luna. Everyone knows you’re the queen of parties, I thought you could help us plan. We only have a couple of days to pull it all together.”
“Me? I’m sure you’d be fine without my help, I’m not—”
Jonah cut me off. “You have to, Luna. It’s my first big shindig and I want to make a good impression. Please say yes,” he put his hands into a prayer position and bent down on one knee, practically begging.
“But I’m grounded, Jonah. How am I supposed to plan your party? I won’t even be allowed to go to it.”
Jonah’s dark chocolate eyes clouded over. “It’s never stopped you before. Sneak out like you always do. It’s not like your parents will ever figure it out. Remember the escape hatch episode of last year?”
They all laughed, and I giggled along with them, trying to fit in. All the while, my mind scrambled for the memory. Damn it. I didn’t have that one. I bit my lip, hoping none of them would ask me about it.
“So what do you say?” Orion said, giving me another side squeeze. He smelled of apple spice and a small part of me enjoyed being near him, the part that held the memories of us together. But those memories were a fabrication—and not mine. Furthermore, I found I didn’t really like Orion that much. He was pushy. The last thing I needed was someone else telling me what I should be doing. But I had no choice. If I broke up with him, wouldn’t that be a big red flag? That would definitely draw unwanted attention.
“Hello? Earth to Luna,” Mara said waving a hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry guys, I can’t do it. Maybe next time. I don’t want to be grounded for another forty years. I think I need to follow my parent’s rules this once. Anyway, I better head to class,” I said, eager to escape. “I’ll see you at lunch.” I stepped out from under Orion’s arm and turned to go, but Orion grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him. His normally blue eyes had transformed into a stormy grey; his mouth twisted into a firm line.
“What’s going on with you, Luna?” Orion growled. I glanced in both directions down the hallway, hoping no one was watching. Relieved to find most people had scattered. The bell was about to ring any minute.
I shrugged off his hand, my hackles rising. “There is nothing going on with me. I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Oh yeah?” he countered. “What about all that crap about studying? Since when did you become such a book nerd? You never needed to study before. And the Luna I know would never balk at a party.”
“Why do you care if I study or go to a
stupid party?” I yelled back.
An audible gasp echoed through the group. “How dare you say Jonah’s party will be stupid! What kind of friend are you?” Mara exclaimed. “If this party isn’t one hundred percent fun, it could be social suicide, you know that.”
I narrowed my eyes fed up. “I’m sure you guys can come up with a perfectly nice party without me. How hard could it be?”
Mara’s mouth fell open in shock. “Well, just forget we ever asked you, Luna Redwood. Orion’s right. You’ve changed, and not for the better. Friends don’t treat each other the way you do,” she said snootily, sticking her petite nose high in the air. “Come on Jonah, let’s go to class.” Without another word, she grabbed his hand and they sailed down the hall, disappearing around the corner.
I wondered as I watched them leave, if I would’ve been that way too if I’d lost all my memories. Would parties and my reputation be all I cared about? I thought to the girl I’d seen on platform P8 back on W1. She seemed so kind, not the type to get hung up on trivial stuff. Anger welled up inside me and made my chest burn for what they’d taken from Mara. I had to find answers, not only for me, but for people like Mara too, who had forgotten their true identities, and lived off some contrived new world visions that weren’t even their own.
Orion was staring at me. My morose thoughts must have been reflected in my eyes.
“Don’t be sad, Luna. I realize you must be going through something right now that you’re not willing to share, but does that mean you can’t be there for your friends? For me?”
I tightened my hands into fists and dug my nails into my palms to keep from screaming. It was just a party, for goodness’ sake. Didn’t they understand there were people out in the universe starving and suffering? That parties were no big deal? I paused. Well, perhaps not. I’d gotten somewhat lucky. Without my memories, I would presumably act this ditsy, too. I tried to cut Orion some slack.
“I can’t help this time. You have to understand, I wouldn’t say no unless it was important.”
Cage of Glass (Cage of Glass Trilogy Book 1) Page 6