Soon Eva came thumping down the stairs carrying bags of potato chips, tortilla chips, and cheese curls. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I made my mother buy it all,” she said, ripping open each bag.
Joss came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a T-shirt.
“Mmm, looks good,” Joss said, eyeing all the food. “What looks good to you, Rainie?”
“Oh, all of it,” Rainie said.
“Um-hm,” Joss said skeptically.
“Well, I’m starting with the cheese curls,” Eva said. “Here, want some?” she offered, handing the bag to Joss.
“Sure,” Joss said, taking a handful. “How about you?” She handed the bag to Rainie.
“Great, thanks!” Rainie said. Joss watched her closely. Although it sounded like she was grabbing a large handful, when she pulled out her hand, she actually only had a few cheese curls in it. She started to munch on one, taking little bites with her front teeth.
“Anybody want a Diet Coke?” Eva said, walking over to the beat-up refrigerator humming in the corner.
“Sure!” Rainie said.
“I’ll take one too,” Joss said. “Unless you’ve got something else in there.”
Joss walked over to the refrigerator. As she turned back around, she saw Rainie put something under the couch. When Rainie saw that Joss had seen her, she looked guilty. She reached for the bag of cheese curls and pulled out another handful. Again she made a big show of munching the snacks while actually only taking little bites.
“I’m going to wash my hands,” Rainie said, heading toward the bathroom.
As soon as the door shut, Joss turned to Eva. “We have to say something,” she said. “She’s only pretending to eat. We’ve got to help her, or tell her to get help or something.”
“Go for it,” Eva said. “I’m with you on this one.”
When Rainie came back, she looked from one girl to the other.
“Okay, what’s up?” she asked. “I can tell you were talking about me.”
Joss took a deep breath. “We’re worried about you,” she said. “We think you might be anorexic.”
Rainie’s jaw dropped. “What?” she asked.
“We think you have anorexia,” Eva said. “You never eat, you run all the time, and you’ve lost a ton of weight. It’s not normal.”
“Look, I just don’t eat snacks and pizza like everyone else. But that doesn’t mean I have a problem,” Rainie said. “I’m just not hungry. I eat so much at FreeZees, and I—”
“Stop,” Joss said. “Quit lying. Something’s up with you, and we want to know what it is. You’ve changed, and we’re worried.”
“Well, thanks. But you can quit worrying. I’m not anorexic. I just don’t live for food like the rest of you do.”
Eva looked hurt. “Was that about me? Because I’m fat?”
“I didn’t say you were fat,” Rainie said. “Food’s just not important to me, that’s all.”
Joss wasn’t willing to let it go. “I don’t believe you,” she said. “How much do you weigh?”
“I have no idea. We don’t own a scale,” Rainie lied. “Anyway, how much do you weigh?”
“One hundred twenty-five pounds,” Joss said. “There, I’ve told you, so you tell me.”
“Like I said, I don’t even know,” Rainie said.
“My mom has a scale upstairs,” Eva said. “You can weigh yourself on it.”
“Seriously?” Rainie said. “I’m not playing this game. I don’t have a problem, okay? Now just drop it!”
Joss took a deep breath. “No,” she said. “I’m not going to drop it. I care about you, and I’m telling you the truth. You look bad, and I think you have an eating disorder. Prove me wrong. Get on the scale so you can prove that you weigh a normal amount.”
Rainie was quiet for a moment. “Okay, but I don’t want anyone to look,” she said. “I’ll weigh myself and tell you what it says, okay?”
“Let’s go!” Eva said. They all climbed the basement stairs and went up to the bathroom on the second floor. A pink scale sat on the floor. Rainie walked into the bathroom and shooed the others out.
Joss and Eva heard the scale scrape along the bathroom floor as if someone stepped on it.
“You know she’s going to lie, right?” Joss whispered.
Eva nodded. “Guess we didn’t handle this too well, did we?” she said.
The door opened. “One hundred twenty-seven,” Rainie announced.
“I don’t believe you,” Joss said.
“Whatever,” Rainie said coldly. “I did what you asked me to do. Now let it go.”
They went back downstairs to the basement. In their absence, Eva’s little brother and sister had come down and were munching on cheese curls.
“Oh, great!” Eva said. “Now everybody’s down here.” The puppy emerged from under the couch, licking cheese curl dust off his face.
“Hmm. Looks like he discovered some cheese curls under the couch. I wonder how they got there,” Joss asked, looking at Rainie.
“Maybe I dropped one,” Rainie said lamely.
“Maybe you did,” Joss repeated.
Eva shooed out her two siblings and the puppy, then latched the basement door securely.
She turned on a movie on the TV and shut off the lights. Soon she was asleep. Joss got up and turned off the TV.
“Are you sleeping in your clothes?” she whispered.
“Yes,” Rainie whispered back.
“I won’t be able to see you if you want to get changed to sleep in pj’s,” Joss said.
“I actually didn’t bring any. I always sleep in my clothes,” Rainie said.
“So no one sees how skinny you are?” Joss asked.
Rainie didn’t answer.
“Look, I’m your friend. And I’m really, really worried about you,” Joss said. “People have died from anorexia. They can have heart attacks. I don’t know why you’re starving yourself, but something is clearly wrong. If you can’t talk to me about it, talk to someone. What about your mom?”
Rainie’s laugh was bitter. “She’s the last person I can talk to,” she said.
“What about Mrs. Blackwell?” Joss asked. “Or Mrs. McArdle? Someone. This isn’t healthy.”
“Look, I appreciate that you are worried about me,” Rainie said. “I just wanted to lose a little weight, that’s all. I’ve got it under control,” she added.
“Fine,” Joss said. She rolled over so her back was to Rainie. “But you’re going to need to talk to someone sooner or later. So you should start thinking about who that’s going to be.”
Rainie didn’t answer.
In a few minutes, Joss thought she heard Rainie crying softly. She felt frustrated and sad. She didn’t know how to help her friend.
CHAPTER 19
Rainie
It wasn’t possible to sleep late at Eva’s house. From the basement, the thumps and squeals were proof that the three younger kids were up and active.
“Just once, I’d like to be able to sleep all morning,” Eva said with a groan. “This must be what it’s like to live in a zoo.”
Rainie didn’t mind the chaos. It sounded like fun compared to the tension in her home. She missed being a family, with a dad like Mr. Morales, who she knew would kick the butt of any guy who tried to pull the stuff Daymon was pulling.
“Girls, I made homemade donuts,” Mrs. Morales called down. “Come on up now; they taste best when they’re hot.”
“Let’s go!” Eva said, throwing off her quilt and standing up. “My mom’s donuts are the best.”
“They smell great!” Joss said, following Eva up the stairs. She stopped and looked at Rainie. “Are you coming?” she asked.
“Of course,” Rainie said. In the confusion that was the Morales’s breakfast table, no one noticed that she ate little of her donut.
When breakfast was over, she put on her backpack and thanked Eva.
“You’re walking home?” Joss asked.
“It’s
not far,” Rainie said. “I don’t mind.”
“Whatever,” Joss said coldly.
Rainie knew Joss was still angry. But there was nothing she could do.
When Rainie got home, she went straight up to the bathroom to take a shower. After getting dressed, she opened her agenda book to see what homework she had to work on. She had just settled onto her bed when there was a knock at the door. She opened it to find Daymon leaning against the frame, wearing only underwear.
“Seriously?” she said, not even trying to hide her hatred.
“Where were you all night?” he said with a leer. He stuck his foot inside the door so she wouldn’t be able to close it.
“Not that it’s your business, but I was at a friend’s house,” Rainie said.
“I’ll bet you were! What’s his name?” Daymon asked.
Rainie didn’t even bother to answer. She tried to close the door, but Daymon’s foot held it open.
“What do you want?” Rainie said. “I need to get some schoolwork done.”
“Thought you might need some help in here,” Daymon said. “I’m pretty good in math.”
“Thanks. I’m good,” Rainie said. She kicked his foot and shoved the door closed with a slam. “And put some clothes on before Jesika wakes up!” she yelled through the door.
She shivered in disgust. She wished she had somewhere else to live. But even if she did, she would never leave Jesika with this creep. If their mother couldn’t—or wouldn’t—protect her daughters, at least Rainie could protect her little sister.
She felt too distracted to concentrate on homework. She knew she had lots to make up, though, so she looked over her agenda book to see what was due and what she’d missed.
Math: five missed assignments
English: Shakespeare project due Tuesday
US History: test Monday, causes of the War of 1812
Science: Display boards for science projects due Friday
Plus the poms meeting Monday night and working … How would she ever get it all done?
She settled down to get to work. Before she could get started, loud music started playing downstairs. She opened her bedroom door and went down to the kitchen. Daymon had hooked up some speakers and was dancing to the music.
“Like it?” he asked. “Got ’em for next to nothing.”
“Stole them, in other words,” Rainie said, shouting to be heard above the music.
“Got them from a friend of mine down in Prince George’s County,” he said. “I didn’t ask where they came from.”
Jesika came into the room, rubbing her eyes. “Sissy, why are you playing music?” she asked sleepily.
“What are you doing?” Mrs. Burkette asked, bursting into the kitchen. She looked accusingly at Rainie. “Are you out of your mind? Do you know what time I get home from work? I’d like to get some sleep.”
“It’s not me!” Rainie yelled. “It’s Daymon! Why do you always take his side against me?” She turned and ran upstairs to her bedroom, slamming the door. Through the door, she could hear the music, a little softer but still throbbing.
She gathered her homework up and shoved it into her backpack. She’d never be able to work with the noise. Fortunately, the public library was open on Sundays.
She caught a bus near her house. In the quiet of the library, she made some progress. She turned off her phone so she wouldn’t lose focus. She finished all her math assignments and put them in her “turn in” folder. She’d been using this system since elementary school and it had always worked—when she actually did the assignments.
The Shakespeare project was too open-ended. “Research a topic relating to life in Shakespeare’s day. Then find evidence of that topic in his plays and discuss.”
Rainie thought of several topics but discarded them all. None seemed interesting enough or easy enough to get done in the amount of time she had available.
She sat at one of the library’s computers and typed various search terms into Google and Wikipedia. Her stomach felt empty—a feeling she had come to enjoy. It meant she was resisting the temptation to eat.
That gave her an idea. She wondered what people in Shakespeare’s day ate. She entered “Elizabethan food” into Google and got several hits. Scrolling through the websites, she saw that she’d be able to find lots of information. She entered “Shakespeare food” into the search box and got even more hits.
She knew she had found her topic. She began doing the research.
By the time the library closed at five, Rainie had made progress on most of her schoolwork. She even had a basic understanding of the causes of the War of 1812. As she waited for the bus, she turned her phone back on. It rang immediately. She didn’t recognize the number.
“Hello?” she said.
“Hey, it’s Durand,” a familiar voice said. “I was about to go for a run, and I wondered if you wanted to go too.”
“Sure,” she said. “I’m not home right now. Give me forty-five minutes.” She could see the bus approaching.
“Sounds good. Meet me at the school bike rack?”
“I’ll be there,” Rainie said.
As she walked up the front steps to her house, she could smell barbeque sauce. Her mouth began to water. Opening the door, she saw Daymon in front of the TV. She heard her mother banging around in the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen.
“Daymon asked some friends over for dinner. I’m broiling some ribs,” her mother said, wiping sweat off her forehead.
“Daymon asked his friends over, but you’re cooking?” Rainie asked. “What’s Daymon doing?”
“Drinking a beer,” Daymon yelled. “And you’d better watch your mouth, girl. Don’t you be taking an attitude with me!”
“Mom, why do you let him talk to me that way?” Rainie asked softly. “He’s not my father!”
“Oh, Rainie, can’t you just grow up?” Mrs. Burkette said with a sigh. “Honestly, he’s trying—it’s you who’s the problem.”
“Seriously, Mom?” Rainie said, tears springing to her eyes. “Seriously? I guess you’ve made your choice.”
She ran up to her room and cried hard for a few minutes. Then she blew her nose, changed into her running clothes, tip-toed downstairs—Daymon and his friends were laughing it up in the kitchen—and slipped out the front door.
Durand was waiting when she arrived at the school.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, looking at her with concern.
“Yeah, why?” she asked.
“Your eyes look funny,” he said. “Like you’ve been—never mind.”
“I’m fine,” she lied. “I was just up late last night at Eva’s.”
“Sure,” he said, sounding unconvinced. “Anyway, what route do you take?”
“Follow me,” Rainie said as she started running up Maryland Avenue.
They soon found a pace that was comfortable for both of them, allowing them to talk while they ran. It was a comfortable conversation about school, homework, their friends. Whenever the topic of family came up, though, Rainie changed the subject.
After about a mile, she started to feel more tired than usual. She slowed down, and Durand slowed with her. As they neared the National Arboretum, Rainie felt things start to spin.
“Whoa!” she gasped, nearly going down. She stopped and put her arms out to try and steady herself. “Everything’s spinning!”
“Here, hold on to me,” Durand said, putting his arm around her. “Let’s sit in the grass where it’s cool.”
He led her over to a grassy hillside. It was almost dark. Most of the tourists had gone, so they had the place to themselves.
“I love this place,” Rainie said. “It’s like a little piece of heaven in D.C.”
“I know,” Durand said. “I run here as often as I can. It’s so much better than running on the main roads.”
Rainie lay in the grass and shut her eyes.
“You okay?” Durand asked after a wh
ile.
“Yeah, I don’t know what happened,” Rainie said. “I felt like I was about to faint.”
“Maybe you’re not eating enough,” Durand said. “I get like that during wrestling when I’m trying to make weight.”
“Maybe,” Rainie said noncommittally. “Do you ever feel like giving up?” Rainie asked.
“You mean, like kill yourself?” Durand asked with concern.
“No, not like that. Just give up. Just say, ‘I give up. I’m not going to care anymore.’ ”
“Do you feel like that now?” Durand asked.
“I feel … I feel …” Rainie couldn’t go on.
“How?” Durand asked gently.
“Like there’s this huge, horrible thing … this force pulling on me so hard that I can barely stand up to it. Like it’s going to pull me in, and something terrible is about to happen.”
“School? Family? Life in general?”
“Daymon Jenkins,” Rainie said, tears again coming to her eyes.
“So he’s still hanging around?” Durand asked.
Rainie nodded miserably.
“Sorry,” he said. “I guess your Google research didn’t turn up anything you could use to make your mom dump his sorry ass.”
“It did, actually, but she didn’t believe it. She didn’t believe me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” Durand said again gently. “That must have hurt. But the longer she’s with him, the better the chances that she’ll see him for the loser he is.”
“I can only hope,” Rainie said, sitting up. “But meanwhile, it’s getting so that I can’t stand being home when he’s there.”
“No wonder you run so much,” Durand said, moving a stray hair from her face. “If there’s anything I can do …” his voice trailed off.
“Thanks,” Rainie said. She stood up and brushed the grass off her pants. They slowly started walking back toward their neighborhood.
After a quiet few minutes, they stopped in front of Rainie’s house on Seventeenth Street. Durand put his hand on her arm. “You know, there are a lot of people who care about you. Who would do anything to help you,” he said gently.
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