Out of Silence

by Ruby Monroe

  Out of Silence

  “Inspired by true events”

  Ruby Monroe

  AuthorHouse™

  1663 Liberty Drive

  Bloomington, IN 47403

  www.authorhouse.com

  Phone: 1 (800) 839-8640

  © 2017 Ruby Monroe. All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

  Published by AuthorHouse 11/06/2017

  ISBN: 978-1-5462-1568-4 (sc)

  ISBN: 978-1-5462-1566-0 (hc)

  ISBN: 978-1-5462-1567-7 (e)

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2017917033

  Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

  and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

  Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

  Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

  Contents

  Chapter 1 1966

  Chapter 2 Back to the Beginning: 1955

  Chapter 3 September 1955

  Chapter 4 Fall 1955

  Chapter 5 Ruby at Age 11

  Chapter 6 Unwanted News

  Chapter 7 A Not So Merry Christmas

  Chapter 8 Sharing Family Secrets

  Chapter 9 1956 Brings New Beginnings

  Chapter 10 New Adventure: March 1956

  Chapter 11 Arrival of a Bundle of Joy

  Chapter 12 The Next Phase: June 1957

  Chapter 13 Tenth Wedding Anniversary, January 13 1966

  Chapter 14 Married Fourteen Years Now

  Chapter 15 1971: Married for Fifteen Years

  Chapter 16 1972: Married Sixteen Years

  Chapter 17 1973: Finally Proof

  Chapter 18 1976: Married Twenty Years

  Chapter 19 Early May 1976: The Turning Point

  Chapter 20 1978: Changes and Motivation

  Chapter 21 1978: Plans Coming Together—or Disrupted?

  Chapter 22 1978: Another Problem

  Chapter 23 1978: Married Twenty-Two Years

  Chapter 24 1978 – Late Summer

  Chapter 25 1979: Moving Day

  Chapter 26 1979 Continued

  Chapter 27 Life Now A New Normal

  Chapter 28 January 1979

  Chapter 29 Summer 1979

  Chapter 30 Summer 1979 Cont’d

  Chapter 31 1980: On the Move Again

  Chapter 32 1980: Moving On

  Chapter 33 Pushed Out

  Chapter 34 1982: A New Chapter

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36 A New Slant on Recruitment

  Chapter 37 California—Here Comes Ruby

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39 1981: More Changes

  Chapter 40 Life Changing Decision

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1

  1966

  A naked, almost anorexic image in the full-length mirror stared back at a shocked Ruby. She dragged her hands down the sides of her skeletal figure and over ribs and bony hips that seemed to push through her skin. Only now did she realize how very thin her body had become. The dress she chose hung more loosely than it was ever meant to. She’d lost her appetite. Eating was just not a priority these days. She slowly walked back to the closet and selected a dress with a fuller skirt and ruffles that concealed her frame.

  Tears gathered when she saw her gaunt face and sunken eyes reflected in her vanity mirror. She leaned in for a closer look. It would take more makeup than ever to transform her face and cover the discoloration of older bruises. Her gray-hued skin and the bags under her sad, deep-set blue eyes told her story. Everyone used to admire her inner glow; where had it gone? She tugged at her shoulder-length blonde hair and pulled it forward to cover the bruises on her neck and hide her emaciated face. Tears pooled in eyes that had once twinkled with happiness.

  Earlier that week, Ruby had been busy cooking dinner when her husband, Jason, interrupted to announce in an unusually upbeat tone, “Hey, Ruby. Lloyd, the new guy at work—I don’t think you’ve met him—is having a house party this Saturday. We’re invited along with several of the guys from our department. I think you’ve met some of them at other functions. I would really like to go. It’s actually sort of important to me.”

  She was so lost in thought, trying to figure out how she felt about going to an office party, that she didn’t realize that he had paused, waiting for her reaction to the invitation.

  Almost as an afterthought, he continued, “Oh yeah. Jackie, my boss, is supposed to be coming too.”

  “Okay,” said Ruby. “If it means that much to you, I agree we should go. It’s kind of late notice, though, so I hope I can find a sitter.”

  She thought, Why not? This will please him, and then he’ll be happy with me. It seems like I’m always walking on eggshells around him.

  They drove to the party in their flashy red Camaro convertible—Jason’s baby. So as not to bring up any negative feelings, they kept the conversation to friendly small talk, mostly about their children: Matt, 9, and Joey, 3.

  Ruby looked over at Jason and observed his receding and thinning gray-peppered hair. He was heavier now, too, with a small paunch he called his beer belly. She would never have mentioned this to him, as he would first deny it and then be furious. She wondered how their once happy marriage had become such a nightmare. How did it happen?

  “Ruby, pay attention. I’m talking to you.” Jason poked her shoulder with his index finger.

  She winced and slightly recoiled at the sharp jab. “What? I’m sorry. I was deep in thought.” She managed a little smile. The last thing she wanted to do was annoy him so early in the evening.

  “I said we’re here,” Jason declared with that harsh, controlling tone.

  She knew this evening would be good only if she was submissive. “You seem to be really excited about going to this party with your work buddies,” she offered in a feigned happy voice. Jason had not been in such high spirits for quite some time. This was an odd but pleasant change.

  The house where the party took place was in a recently built cookie-cutter subdivision of two-story brick attached homes. Newly planted trees lined the streets. Lawns had recently been sodded, but sidewalks were not yet in place. The house was one of many in this new, large family-oriented neighbourhood.

  Lloyd—a tall, thin, fair-haired and light-skinned fella—and Susan, his wife, also of Scandinavian heritage, were their host and hostess. Lloyd wrapped his arm around Susan, ending at her narrow waist just below her breasts. They seemed quite comfortable with each other. Susan looked up at Lloyd and winked. This caring gesture caused Ruby to feel a flash of envy sweep over her body.

  “Lloyd, Susan, this is my wife, Ruby,” Jason said.

  Smiling, Susan greeted them with an extended hand. “Hello. We’re so glad you guys came.”

  “Nice to finally meet you, Ruby,” Lloyd offered. “Here—let me take your coats.”

  “Thank you,” said Ruby. As they entered the house, Ruby exclaimed, “Susan, you have a lovely home.” She immediately liked the new couple.

  Ruby remembered when Jason was attentive, just like Lloyd. When friends came over for drinks and dinner, he would look at her, give her a quick hug and say, “My
lovely wife deserves nothing but the best.” Ruby mentally shook herself out of this regressive thought process, as it would surely spoil their big night out.

  Susan directed them to the family room, where the partygoers had gathered. Jason stopped to chat with a coworker.

  When they entered the family room, Ruby was immediately impressed with the decor. She asked, “Susan, are you the decorator?”

  “Guilty,” Susan said with a smile and a nod.

  “Your home feels calm and inviting. It feels very comfortable.” Ruby liked both the contemporary style and the palette of autumn colors, mostly beige and brown, with burnt orange and olive green as accents.

  “Thank you, Ruby.”

  “Neat trick, the aroma of freshly baked appetizers and desserts. The first whiff tickled my nose.”

  “I do my best. Let me introduce you to Sarah, a good friend of mine.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Excuse me, Sarah. I’d like to introduce you to Ruby, Jason’s wife. Would you mind introducing her to a few folks?”

  “Sure, Susan.” Sarah walked Ruby to a small group of Susan’s neighbours and introduced her.

  “There’s the doorbell again. Gotta go,” Susan said over her shoulder as she left to continue her hostess duties.

  Ruby chatted for a while with the group and then chose to move on. She studied the crowd and counted about thirty people already at the party. Everyone was drinking, munching on snacks, laughing and chatting. Ruby was determined to show Jason that she could have a good time. She slowly crept out of her shell.

  She approached a female about her age and said, “Hello, I’m Ruby—Ruby Monroe.” They juggled their beverages to shake hands. Ruby smiled to herself. She was out.

  “Hi, I’m Janice. I work for Jason in accounting,” the woman said. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Ruby.”

  “Thanks.” Ruby searched for a common topic and then decided to ask, “Do you have children?”

  “Yes, a beautiful 1-year-old boy, Andrew.” Janice just happened to be wearing a charm bracelet that held a photo of Andrew. “Look—isn’t he a cutie?”

  “He certainly is. What a great age he’s at. I’m sure you would prefer to be at home with him.”

  “I would, but we do what we can to spend quality time with him.”

  Comfortable with the conversation, Ruby asked, “You probably know we have two boys, Matt and Joey.”

  “I hear they’re a handful. I think one is all I want for now.” Janice smiled to welcome another female to their group. “Hi, Patty. Have you met Ruby, Jason’s wife?”

  “No. Hello, Ruby. Good to meet you.”

  Cautiously, Ruby continued her participation in the now three-way conversation. To avoid sharing details of her life, she asked the questions. The happy party atmosphere made her feel more like her old self. Secretly, she wished they socialized more often.

  Throughout the evening, as Ruby got bolder, she interjected herself into several discussions and circulated among the clusters of people. Health and the issues of raising children were the main topics. Ruby was comfortable with these subjects. Oddly, she felt like she belonged. She was happy that they had come to the party and confident that she did the right thing by accompanying Jason.

  She wondered why a few of the women who spoke to her didn’t make eye contact, and some others completely avoided her. Why? She wondered if she had food or lipstick on her teeth and they just didn’t know how to tell her. Ruby excused herself and made her way to the powder room. She leaned in to have a closer look in the mirror and examined her teeth and makeup. There was no evidence of food or misplaced lipstick. The bruises were still hidden, too. Odd …

  It was around this time that she noticed Jason was no longer in the family room with the other guests. It was getting late. Ruby had told their sitter they would be home by midnight, and it was already after eleven thirty. She smiled, excused herself from the group and wandered away to look for Jason.

  Unable to find him, Ruby approached the hostess, with whom she had seen Jason speaking earlier. “Excuse me, Susan. Have you seen Jason? It’s getting late, and our sitter needs to be home by twelve.”

  Susan hesitated slightly, frowned and then pursed her lips trying to remember when it was that she had last seen him and which way he was headed. “Yes,” she said. Her face lit up. “Yes, I saw Jason going upstairs about twenty minutes ago. He may not still be there, but feel free to check.”

  Ruby smiled graciously, thanked Susan and made her way to the stairs. Why was he upstairs when all of the other partygoers were on the main level? she wondered.

  When she reached the top stair, to her disbelief, she saw Jason across the hall and inside one of the bedrooms. He was passionately kissing a well-developed youngish blonde woman. Their clothing had become dishevelled and unbuttoned. Their hands were busy exploring intimate parts of each other’s body. It stung as if Jason had just slapped her across the face.

  Ruby’s first thought was to retreat, run back downstairs and hide like an abused animal. But no! Not this time. She would not flee. She would stand her ground. Normally, she wouldn’t confront Jason, because she knew the hell that would rain down upon her. Was it jealousy or possessiveness? Her motivation was not immediately evident to her. She didn’t know why, but for some reason, she was compelled to stop the scene that distressed her. Ruby’s insides were quivering with anger as she cautiously but deliberately strode over to the entwined bodies.

  She tugged on her husband’s sleeve and demanded, “Jason, what are you doing?”

  He turned and gave Ruby a piercing look that would strip paint from a wall. He disentangled himself from the girl, turned and said, “I’m sorry, Jackie, but my rude wife just doesn’t understand how things go at these parties.”

  He’s apologizing to that woman, not me? This is so humiliating. I’m so embarrassed.

  Jason adjusted his clothing and tucked his shirt into his trousers. He grabbed Ruby tightly by her forearm and forcibly guided her down the stairs. It didn’t matter to him that this roughness caused her to stumble several times.

  “Jason, you’re hurting my arm. Let go,” she pleaded.

  He glared at her and then between gritted teeth sneered and mumbled, “Why do you always embarrass me? You wonder why I don’t take you anywhere. Now, because of you, we need to get out of here. I’m mortified by your behaviour.”

  Guests within earshot of this scene purposely looked away to avoid making eye contact or getting involved. Oh my God! They all knew. Wow.

  In the car, Jason’s mood went from bad to worse. He furiously waved his hands around much too close to her. She feared his hand or fist would make contact. His face twisted with anger, almost touching hers. She smelled the liquor. He jabbed his index finger into her shoulder as if he intended to stab her with it. Angrily, he screamed, “I could kill you! Why do you humiliate me in front of my work friends? Your mother was right. You’re a stupid bitch.”

  When she finally stopped shaking and gained control of her fear, she reminded herself to not share her feelings with him. She had to remember that sharing her inner thoughts would always come back to haunt her. He frequently used her guarded secrets against her.

  “I take you out. I try to be nice to you. And again you are an embarrassment. You wonder why I don’t take you anywhere. Well, this is exactly why.”

  They had been driving in silence for a short while when she realized that Jason was too drunk to be driving. Her heart pounded, and the waking of some old familiar spasms and cramps in her belly added to her panic. He had turned onto the main drag, but into the lane headed in the wrong direction.

  Conscious of the retribution she knew would be inflicted on her for criticizing his driving, she screamed, “Jason, look! Please! Stop now!” She clutched his arm and pointed to the oncoming headlights.

  He angrily brushed her ha
nd off his arm. “Don’t tell me how to drive, you useless piece of shit. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

  Frantic, again, she tried to get his attention. Ruby grabbed the steering wheel. Jason violently swatted her hand, swearing at her. “Don’t you ever do that again! I’m driving. Keep your hands off the damn steering wheel.”

  “But you’re not listening!” She screamed louder. “Jason, stop. We need to get off this road. Look at the headlights. They’re coming right at us.” She had no choice but to scream again even louder than before, “Jason. Stop the car. Now! You’re driving in the wrong direction. Those vehicles are going to kill us. They’re approaching us way too fast.” Her heart was pounding as if it was trying to escape from her chest. She could feel adrenaline racing through her veins. Pointing with a nervous hand to the vehicles’ bright lights that were quickly approaching them, she gasped in horror.

  Shocked by the impending danger, Jason seemed to quickly sober up. She watched his attempt to avoid a collision with the oncoming vehicles. He tried to make a U-turn toward the middle of the road.

  “Oh my God, Jason. You can’t turn here! The median is too high,” she exclaimed. “We’re going to die! You’re going to kill us. What are you going to do? Think of something, fast!”

  One of the oncoming vehicles blinded them with its bright headlights. She held her breath and opened her mouth to scream, but there was no sound. The driver blasted his horn as he sped past.

  Several more cars were approaching. Jason slammed his foot down hard on the gas pedal and then suddenly increased the speed, which jolted them backward. At the last second, he turned into a plaza parking area. Now the threatening vehicles were only lights whizzing past in their rear-view mirror. A huge sigh of relief filled their vehicle.

  Then Jason resumed his verbal abuse. “You see what you made me do? You’re such a bitch. I don’t know why I put up with you and your bullshit. Your nagging almost caused a fatal accident.”