Infatuation and Independence

by Jennifer Becton

  “I know.” She paused again before confessing the rest. “Josh invited them to dinner this weekend.”

  “What? I thought you said—”

  “I know,” Kitty moaned, leaning her head against the side of the tub. “Now that I’ve gotten myself into this mess, I don’t know what to do.”

  Upon hearing her own words, Kitty sat up straight. Water sluiced off her.

  She heard Liz’s intake of breath, indicating that sage advice would surely follow.

  “No!” Kitty protested immediately. “Don’t say anything! This is my situation, and I’ll figure my own way out.”

  “But—”

  “I know you have something brilliant to tell me, but this is the whole point of my trip. I have to choose my own life. Make my own mistakes and get out of them like a big girl.”

  “Okay then,” Liz said, slowly. “But I feel compelled to point out that it’s not cheating if you seek advice from people who care about you. As long as you make your own decision and don’t follow blindly, then you are behaving like ‘a big girl.’”

  Kitty processed her sister’s words. Of course, she was right. There was a sensible middle ground between following blindly and acting without adequate input.

  “Stop being so wise,” Kitty complained.

  “I can’t help it. It’s just the way I am,” Liz joked. In a more sober tone, she changed the subject. “Speaking of mistakes and getting out of them, Georgie tells me she came to you for advice.”

  “Yes,” Kitty admitted slowly. “I hope Will’s not upset with me for stepping in.”

  “No,” Liz assured her. “In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Naturally, Will’s upset with Georgie for the financial mess she created, but he’s definitely pleased that you lent a hand. They spent the evening going over the plan you created for getting her out of debt, and Will was truly impressed. You’re really good at that stuff, Kitty.”

  “I practiced a lot with Lydia,” Kitty said, deferring the praise. Still, pride welled in her chest. She was good at this.

  “I think finance suits you,” Liz added.

  “I agree.”

  Liz didn’t respond for a beat. “Then, why aren’t you already working for Uncle Edward?” she asked, her tone curious. “Is this a rebellious thing against Mom? You know, because she arranged it?”

  “No, not a rebellious thing. Not really,” Kitty said, meaning it. She didn’t appreciate having her life planned for her, but she also didn’t know what she wanted to do. She needed time to stop and think for herself. “The truth is that I don’t know if I want to work as an auditor.”

  “Why not? Isn’t that kind of what you did with Georgie? And Lydia?”

  “Yes, but that’s different. It’s more personal stuff. I don’t know if I want to do that on a corporate level.” She took a deep breath and added, “I’ve been thinking of something else instead, but I don’t know how practical it is.”

  “What?”

  “Doing personal financial counseling,” she confessed, feeling heat rise in her cheeks for some reason. “But the thing is, my potential clients would already be in financial straits. I don’t know if they could pay me enough to live on. So then, I thought maybe I could do a web page or something ad supported that would provide the basics to help people get on their feet. Then, I could charge for additional packages and personal counseling to get them ahead financially.”

  “It sounds like a good idea to me,” Liz said with her usual optimism. “What’s stopping you?”

  “I’m not sure I can do it,” she admitted. Then, Kitty began listing the steps she’d have to take in order to start her own business. “I’d need to make sure I had adequate startup capital. Then, there’s the whole web-page-building thing. And the creation of free content. And getting advertising….”

  “We can do this,” Liz said, sounding excited. “It’s a fantastic idea. In fact, I’ll talk to Will about it. He knows tons of people who will be able to offer advice. Someone on his staff will build the site. He’ll even get you some ads. Of course, you’ll write the content, and I’ll edit for you….”

  Liz continued to enthuse, but Kitty fell silent. Liz was her wisest sister, but still, she was in the habit of taking over. Not out of meanness, but out of enthusiasm. But this was why Kitty needed time away. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to start her own business, and already Liz had planned it out. Without even asking if Kitty wanted help.

  It would be so easy to let Liz carry on, allow her to hook her up with all the right people immediately. But was that what Kitty wanted? She still wasn’t sure.

  And if Kitty did decide to go forward with her own business, then shouldn’t she assess her needs before asking for help. Keywords: asking for help. She needed to be the one doing the asking.

  “Liz,” Kitty said, interrupting Liz’s business plan. “I appreciate everything you just offered, but I need to give it more thought. So far, it’s just an idea. I’m not ready to run with it yet.” She paused. “And if I do decide to go for it, I’ll definitely come to you and Will if I need your expertise.”

  Liz paused for a beat and then made a strangled sound. “Oh my gosh! I just pulled a Queen-Mum move, didn’t I?” She laughed again, but this time, the sound was laced with regret. “I forgot myself. I’m so excited for you, Kitty. I want to do everything I can to help you. I know it’s not easy to break free with you-know-who breathing down your neck.”

  After a few minutes of commiserating over the Queen Mum, their phone call ended. Kitty put her device safely away from the edge of the hot tub and sunk down to her ears.

  Why was it so difficult for Kitty to know what she wanted? It seemed so easy for other people to make decisions.

  Georgie chose a job with no problem.

  Liz knew just how to proceed with Kitty’s business idea.

  Even Josh seemed to know what he wanted: a date with her.

  And Kitty was left still trying to figure herself out.

  Kitty fidgeted with the bow she’d tied at the waist of her wrap dress and glanced down at her wedge sandals. She was probably overdressed for her “date” with Josh and her parents. She had taken more than her usual care in getting ready for the evening. Her hair was perfectly tamed in a sleek ponytail, and her makeup, though natural, accented her eyes and lips, just as Lydia had taught her.

  Her mother couldn’t disapprove of the way she was taking care of herself up in these godforsaken mountains. Even if she did eat sugar.

  She would, however, disapprove of Josh no matter what he did. Really, given that fact, Kitty shouldn’t be nervous. No matter what, her mother would hate him. She knew precisely what to expect. She’d heard it a thousand times before.

  But she was nervous. Josh was picking her up in a few minutes. Josh, the man she shouldn’t be interested in. The man she wasn’t actually dating.

  But who wanted to date her.

  They weren’t even a real couple, and yet, her parents intended to check him out and then talk some sense into her.

  The doorbell rang, and Kitty nearly leapt out of her wedges. Willing herself to stay calm, she walked with purposeful steps to the door.

  Josh wore a deep navy suit that looked as if it had been tailored specifically for him. The slim cut of the rich fabric accentuated his strong shoulders and caressed the curve of his biceps. She felt sure that if he turned, the pants would hug his butt in a most tempting manner.

  “Hi,” he murmured as his blue eyes raked over her. Briefly, a look of desire crossed his features. “You look amazing….”

  He bit his lip, ending whatever else he might have said.

  “Oh,” Kitty managed to say. “Um. You look amazing too.”

  And he did. The mixed tones of blue in his tie and suit made his eyes bluer than she’d ever seen them. For a moment, she lost herself in his admiring gaze. Deep down, Kitty wanted nothing more than to pull Josh inside and spend the evening alone with him, instead of being tortured by the Queen Mum. She could see herse
lf snuggling with him on the sofa or in the hot tub. He looked as if he wouldn’t object. In fact, the warm look in his eyes made her think that he might be contemplating something similar.

  But that was impossible for so many reasons.

  Realizing that they were standing in the doorway staring at each other, Kitty coughed and turned away to get her clutch.

  She joined him on the front porch, closing the door behind her.

  He offered his arm at the stairs, and Kitty took it, wrapping her hand around his solid forearm. She let herself appreciate the way he felt beneath her touch. Just for a moment.

  “I wish this whole thing wasn’t happening under false pretenses,” Kitty said, flushing when she realized what she’d just admitted.

  “There’s nothing false on my side,” he said as he opened the passenger door for her. “This can be our first date…if you want it to be.”

  What did Kitty want it to be? Considering that question, she slid into the plush leather seat and glanced at her surroundings as Josh rounded the vehicle.

  This wasn’t his work truck. He was driving a truck that looked more like a luxury car.

  “New truck?” Kitty asked when he got into the driver’s seat.

  “No, it’s a couple of years old,” he said. “This is my personal vehicle. It’s four-wheel drive, which is great for traveling in the mountains in the winter.”

  Kitty ran a hand along the inlaid wood detail on the dash. She didn’t know contractors made enough to afford such nice vehicles. Maybe Josh had a hefty car payment every month. Maybe he needed her personal financial counseling.

  Even though it was a truck, this vehicle might actually impress her mother.

  “Any word on your young credit lover?” Josh asked, surprising Kitty.

  “Georgie? Yes. My sister called, and, lucky for me, her husband, Will, wasn’t upset that I intervened.”

  “How could he be? You weren’t responsible for her spending. You helped her find a way out of debt.”

  “I just made the plan. She has to get herself out,” Kitty corrected.

  They fell silent for a moment, and Kitty took the opportunity to enjoy the way the evening sunlight filtered through the evergreens, highlighting the mountain laurel.

  “Have you given any more thought to starting your own business?”

  “A little,” Kitty hedged. “It’s just I don’t know if I have what it takes.”

  Josh chuckled.

  “What?”

  “From what I’ve seen, you have the grit and determination…not to mention the creativity to make it happen.”

  “Creativity?”

  “Case in point.” He nodded between them. “You came up with a solution to your mother’s setup.”

  “You’re just being nice,” Kitty accused. “I took the easy out. The way I always do.”

  Again, he chuckled. “I’ve never seen you take the easy way out. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

  Kitty flushed. “Yeah, that’s not how my family sees me.”

  “Who cares how they see you?” he asked seriously. “Other people’s perceptions are not always accurate.”

  Kitty raised a brow. “You could be the one with the wrong perception.”

  “I don’t think so,” he said. “But what does that matter? How do you see you?”

  She shrugged.

  “I see a woman who knows what she wants but is holding herself back for some reason,” he offered.

  Kitty studied his profile. At a red light, Josh turned and met her gaze.

  “Don’t think. Just answer,” he said. “What do you want to do for a career?”

  “Personal counseling,” she answered instantly. Surprised, she found she meant it. She did like the idea of being a personal financial counselor.

  “There. You know what you want. So do it.”

  “But I don’t know how,” she admitted. “My sister offered funding, design, and editing services for me, but….”

  “That’s not what you want,” he finished for her as the light turned green and he drove onward.

  “I don’t want it done for me. I want to do it myself. I want to learn.”

  “I could help,” he offered. “If that’s what you want.”

  “I don’t mean this as an insult, but how?” Kitty asked, furrowing her brow in thought. “You’re a contractor. Not that being a contractor is a bad thing.”

  “Actually, I own Project Partners.”

  Kitty blinked.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” he admonished.

  “I thought you just built stuff or fixed broken things.”

  “I do,” he said. “But I also created the app and website.”

  She blinked again.

  “I knew a bunch of good workers, but they had no business sense at all. And I knew how hard it was for homeowners to find trustworthy workers. So I decided to be a matchmaker.

  “That’s how I know you could build an online business,” he said. “I did it. You can too. If that’s what you want.”

  Kitty blinked at Josh a third time. How was it possible to like him even more?

  She had to admit that learning he was a successful entrepreneur was certainly a factor, but it wasn’t the only one.

  Kitty liked the way he saw her. When Josh looked at her, he saw her as a strong woman with business potential. But at the same time, he wasn’t pushing her to do anything but figure out what she wanted.

  Because of that, Kitty liked Josh. A lot.

  And she was realizing that maybe liking him wasn’t such a bad thing.

  The truck rolled to a stop in the restaurant parking lot, and Kitty saw her parents’ older model BMW parked nearby. Her mother called it “vintage,” but it was really just an old car with a coat of wax on top.

  Panic struck. Now that Kitty finally admitted to herself just how much she truly liked Josh, she really didn’t want her mother to spoil it.

  “This is going to be a disaster,” she murmured half to herself.

  “Why?”

  “Because,” Kitty flailed a hand at him. “You’re independent and hardworking, and you’re encouraging me to be the same.”

  “You already are independent and hardworking,” he pointed out. “I’m not encouraging you to be anything but what you are. Besides, I fail to see how those are bad things to be?”

  “My mother’s dream is for me to work for my uncle only until I can snare a man who will give me a life of leisure,” Kitty explained. “No work. No hardship.”

  “No fun,” he added. Then, his blue eyes heated. “No passion.”

  Blushing, Kitty cleared her throat and steered the conversation back to safer ground. “I tell myself that my mother truly thinks that’s the best life one can attain and that, in her own way, she’s trying to help me.”

  “But that’s not the life you want.” Josh’s statement was half statement, half question.

  Kitty answered with a definitive shake of her head.

  “Good.” Josh leaned closer, and Kitty found that she couldn’t look away from the subtext of his gaze.

  “Much as I wish your mother approved of me,” Josh said, taking her hand in his, “she’s not the Bennet woman whose good opinion I seek.”

  Josh lifted Kitty’s hand to his lips. Kitty’s heart began to race. Josh cared about her opinion. He cared about her. He saw her strength and independent spirit. That was what Kitty wanted. Her eyes fell closed as his hand caressed her palm. And just as she felt the whisper of his lips against her knuckles, a sharp sound erupted behind her.

  Her hand still held in Josh’s gentle grip, Kitty spun in her seat to find that the Queen Mum had descended. She rapped at the window again.

  “Kitty!” her mother shrieked, her face nearly pressed against the window in horror. “Bennet girls do not engage in such behavior in parked cars!”

  Kitty almost laughed aloud. Suddenly, it was as if Kitty saw her mother clearly for the first time. Maybe it was her month of independence that
did the trick, but her mother seemed less demanding and more, well, silly.

  She might want the best for her daughters, but she needed to realize that the best was up to them. Not her.

  Kitty gave her mother a brief nod but did not pull away her hand.

  Then, she turned to Josh and said under her breath, “She obviously doesn’t know much about what my sister Lydia does then.”

  Josh grinned back at her and slowly released her hand.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Kitty asked, certain her mother was glaring at Josh from behind her. “She’s going to insult you in every possible manner. We could still escape.”

  “Don’t worry about me,” Josh said. “I believe even your mother will come to tolerate me one day.”

  “It’s your funeral,” Kitty murmured under her breath. She reached for the door handle, checking to make sure her mother was clear of the door before she opened it, and got out of the car. She sent a smile in her father’s direction, and he gave her a half shrug in return.

  Her father had long since stopped trying to corral his wife’s unpredictable behavior.

  “Mother, Dad,” Kitty said when Josh rounded the truck. “This is Josh Parrish.”

  “Josh, these are my parents, George and Adela Bennet.”

  “Yes,” her mother said, extending her hand as if she expected Josh to kiss her ring. “I would say it was nice to meet you, but I must reserve judgment, you know.”

  Looking totally unperturbed by her words, Josh took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I completely understand, Mrs. Bennet. Every mother wants the best for her daughter.”

  Kitty watched as her father stepped forward and extended a hand. “Despite my wife’s claims to the contrary,” her father said, shaking Josh’s hand, “we both are pleased to meet you.”

  “Shall we go inside?” Kitty suggested.

  “Indeed,” her mother said, grabbing her arm and leaning in to whisper loudly. “He drives a truck, Kitty!”

  Hearing this comment, her father turned to Josh. “I’ve always wanted a truck,” he confessed. “I imagine you can carry quite a bit.”

  Glancing over his shoulder, Josh winked at Kitty. “I got an entire king-sized bed in the back of my work vehicle with room to spare.”