Chrom sat down beside me, shoulder touching mine. “Our parents came to get us before it got dark, but we refused to leave until we knew where you two were. That got a bit hard to manage since our folks had never been so tight-lipped about anything as much as they were that day. Once we were all finally home, they refused to talk about it.”
“For two weeks,” Baron said, “You were completely missing in action, along with Renata and Kaylee. The former of which turned up hating you. The latter...” He looked around. “Well, who can say? None of us ever saw her again. It was like she ceased to exist.”
A fresh wave of fury crashed into my veins as everything he wasn’t saying hit home. Even as I slowly uncoiled from the bench, a snake finally released from its cage, I knew Baron didn’t deserve my anger. None of them did.
But it had been so much easier to contain when I was alone. When I could let it play hide the chainsaw with my internal organs while I tortured myself remembering the past.
“Go ahead,” I hissed, bringing us nose to nose. My firsts curled at my sides, ready and willing. “Ask. I know you want to.”
He met the ferocity rolling off of me without blinking and said three words that ripped the world out from under my feet and almost sent me to my knees.
“Is she alive?”
A jagged crater opened in my chest, and all that I was fell into it, screaming. Because this was still my fault. Because somewhere along the line I’d reached a point where someone I thought of as a brother wondered if I’d committed the ultimate sin to go along with the rest.
“Baron,” Chrom snapped, pushing us apart.
I let myself be moved, mostly since the tone of his voice distracted me. Chrom didn’t sound surprised. This was a topic they’d discussed before instead of confronting me. More secrets being kept when we were all supposed to be on the same side. The only side.
“Get off me.” Baron brushed Chrom’s arm aside, straightening his shirt. “Someone needed to ask, and we both know you were never going to work up the balls.”
A deep, rumbling noise came from Chrom’s throat and his shoulders tightened. Baron shifted his feet farther apart, observing the same change I was seeing and doing nothing about.
Balance, Mom told me.
How the fuck had we reached the furthest point from that?
Much to my surprise, it was Erik who squeezed himself into the middle of our pissed off huddle.
“We’ve obviously lived together for too long,” he said. “You’re all acting like a bunch of pussies who have your cycle at the same time. And I don’t know about y’all, but this shit has waited a long ass time. It can wait a little longer. We’ve got Thornwood business to deal with tomorrow, and I don’t plan on doing it on two hours of sleep.”
Chrom and Baron stepped away, glancing at each other and then at me. I threw them all a smirk and did what I was best at: keeping my mouth shut.
Baron continued staring me down. A shadow of what I might call rage on anyone else passed over his features and disappeared. But this was Baron we were talking about. Nothing hot flowed through his veins. Just numbers, information, and icy displeasure.
“We’re not done with this,” he said.
I shrugged. The surge of anger had come and gone, swept away in the red tide of an old wound reopening. Without the heat of it, I was...diminished. Weak from hunger and my own inescapable burden.
Baron pushed his glasses up his nose with his middle finger before stalking away, Erik close on his heels.
Chrom faced me, worrying at the inside of his cheek. I felt my hackles rising in response.
Concern pinched his brows and I knew—I just knew—I didn’t have it in me to play twenty questions with him tonight. And even if I didn’t ride with him, he’d badger me the moment we got home.
So, that wasn’t an option.
I lifted my chin. “I’ll see you at the house,” I lied.
His frown deepened and he crossed his arms, a dead giveaway that he was about to launch a full campaign in the name of taking care of me. I refused to give him the chance.
With a wave, I walked away.
“Ro!” he called.
But I kept walking and he had the good sense not to follow.
Or he’s finally giving up on you. Like he should’ve done years ago.
I shook that insecure thought from my head as I tried to determine my next move. My parents wouldn’t mind me crashing in my old room, no matter how late it was. Except the risk of being caught by either of them again was too great.
My poker face was legendary. Tonight? I didn’t trust it. They’d take one look at me, know something was wrong, and refuse to leave until I said something about it.
So...where did that leave me?
I flipped my phone in circles as I broke free from the park and out into the rest of the city. Seeing so many people moving back and forth beneath the lights and stars helped keep the split in my chest from growing wider. A movie sounded good. Then again, one would turn into two, then three, and before I knew it the sun would be up.
And Erik had been right for possibly the first time in his life. We all needed to be on our toes to deal with Thornwood University. I couldn’t afford to be bleary-eyed and half-asleep.
A hotel? I raked my fingers through my hair so hard my scalp burned. No fucking way. On a night like tonight, spending much more time alone with my thoughts was a guaranteed way to find myself watching a highlight reel of my greatest mistake turned into a nightmare over and over again.
I needed sleep, a distraction, and to not be questioned.
How was I going to—
Oh.
The dumbest, riskiest idea I’d had in years closed in on my brain from all sides. Before I could second guess myself, I acted on it, opening my phone and calling a driver. When he got there, I slid into the backseat and breathed out a slow breath.
This would either work...
Or I’d have some serious explaining to do.
What a fucking day.
You’ve done a lot of stupid shit, my mind told me as I strolled down the hall of the girl’s dorm. But this? This shit right here takes the cake.
The funny thing was, that sensible part of my brain was exactly right.
This was beyond stupid. I needed an extra stupid tattoo just to commemorate the occasion when I finally lost my mind. Surely, that was the only explanation for why I was strolling through a place where no guys—not even Tarots—were allowed to be.
It wouldn’t even take much to catch me.
The halls were brightly lit, lined with doorways that could open at any second. Odds were, most of the girls in this building wouldn’t snitch on me if they were in their right mind. But somehow, I didn’t think they would take time to analyze my presence if they swung their door open and saw a tall, scowling figure headed right towards them.
Turn around, my mind begged, even as my feet carried me up the stairs.
At least I had some sense remaining. The elevator would’ve been too noisy.
Turn around! my mind screamed, even as my body was drawn inexorably towards a room at the end of the hall.
Lingering wouldn’t do me any good, so I didn’t. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I put the key I’d borrowed in the lock and turned the knob. Tension clamped my neck in its grip as I waited for a scream that didn’t come when I stepped inside.
The living room didn’t interest me. That wasn’t why I was here. I took a quick glance around, gaze landing on a few cookbooks I could barely make out in the dark room before I turned my focus to my last obstacle.
Another door.
One there hadn’t been a key for downstairs.
Lucky for me it was unlocked.
As if breaking into her room wasn’t enough to win me a creep of the fucking year award, the first thing I did after quietly closing the door behind me was pull her scent into my lungs.
The air tasted like cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla. Like her. The pressure cooker that was my
entire being stopped screaming, the lid no longer threatening to blow sky high.
Why?
How?
I glared at the light spilling from beneath the bathroom door as if it could answer for the strange girl that had somehow become someone I needed.
Each breath coming easier than the last, I moved around her room. Slowly, a smile formed. Apparently, the cupcake sleeve of tattoos wasn’t some drunk decision. Emily Brennan didn’t seem the type, of course.
She was wild. Determined. Immovable when she decided to be and completely infuriating.
But never once had I thought she was a fool.
Her cupcake obsession went farther than I ever would’ve thought possible. She had pillowcases with them. Stuffed versions on the bed and side table. It was somewhat cute, and a whole lot of weird.
Says the creeper in her room unannounced.
But oh well. I was here now. What came next was up to her. So, I did what I’d come to do.
I stretched out on her bed. Crossed my legs. Propped my arms behind my head so I could watch the door.
Then I waited.
My eyes were just starting to close when a quick burst of running water penetrated the silence. The door opened in the next second and a beautiful vision stood there, toothbrush halfway to her mouth, blue eyes wide, strawberry-blonde hair in a mess of loose curls.
She wore tiny, black sleep shorts that showed miles of her pale legs and a red camisole. No bra. I groaned at the sight of her nipples pressing against the tight fabric. That was enough to break her out of her surprised trance.
I held my breath as she blinked.
Rubbed at her eyes.
Pinched her arm. Glanced at it. Then looked at me again.
“You’re not dreaming,” I whispered, growing impatient.
When was she going to scream and attack me? She’d be well within her rights. Or she could just scream her pretty little head off and wake up the building. I was sure Renata wouldn’t mind making sure I got caught.
Determined to never behave the way I expected, she stepped back into the bathroom and shut the door. I blinked, listening to her brush her teeth and run the water again before she filled the open doorway, studying me, wreathed in a halo of light.
I stayed still beneath her observation, not an easy task. I’d been caught up in my own thoughts most of the day, but now that she was standing there it all came rushing back.
How she felt beneath my grip.
The little sounds she made when my dick or my tongue found the perfect spots.
Her chest heaving with every frenzied breath.
That tight pussy that fit me like our bodies coming together was destiny. Inevitable. Meant to be.
If the banked heat in her eyes as she looked me up and down was any indication, I wasn’t the only one replaying our encounter.
With a sigh, Emily flicked the bathroom light off, bathing us in shadows. She moved to the other side of the bed.
“At least take your boots off,” she said. The mattress shifted as she laid down and pulled the covers up, hiding her body from view and turning to give me her back. “And you’re not getting under here with me either, so don’t get any ideas.”
“Protecting your virtue?” I teased as I swung my legs to the side and kicked my boots to the floor. “A bit late for that don’t you think.”
“I had a moment of weakness. It won’t happen again.”
“Is that what you call back-to-back orgasms?” I couldn’t say for sure in the dark, but I thought I saw the slightest blush to her cheek when I peered over at her.
“You let me use your bed,” she said. “Now I’m letting you use mine. This way, we’ll be even.”
I didn’t tell her how wrong she was. We’d never be even. Not until I knew I was on her mind like she was mine. Every hour. Every day.
She yawned, whole body trembling with the force of it. I smirked in the dark, oddly comforted and amused by everything she did. The strange girl who loved cupcakes, defied expectations, and didn’t ask questions regarding things she should be curious about.
Her breathing evened out.
I blamed thinking she was asleep on why I muttered, “You’re really not going to ask?”
Emily turned over. I could feel her staring at me while I focused on the ceiling. Almost hesitantly, she reached out, fingers ghosting over my jaw in a light touch that stirred a surge of heat. She sucked in a sharp breath and pulled her hand back, hiding them beneath the covers like she didn’t trust herself not to touch me again.
“I’m not going to try and pry it out of you, Ro,” she said softly. “Even if we were friends instead of...whatever this is, I would say the same thing. I don’t know what demons keep you wound so tight that I sometimes worry you’ll snap and destroy everything around you, and quite frankly, it’s none of my business.”
That’s how she sees me? A bomb waiting to go off?
My stomach clenched. Through gritted teeth, I managed, “I would never hurt you. Not like that.”
“I know.”
What? “You know?”
Her sigh floated along my soul. “I’m not afraid of you. If anything, I’m afraid for you. You act like it’s you versus everyone else and that’s not sustainable. I’ve met your friends, remember? And your parents. If you let them, they would help.”
“Maybe I don’t want their help.”
Or maybe I don’t deserve it.
Her shrug was felt more than seen. “Then let someone else in. Someone you can count on to stand by your side without judgment. But you can’t just avoid the problem forever.”
How can I find someone else when I want you to be that person?
I went quiet at the thought, fingers drumming along my skull as I took a closer look at it.
Did I want more than this uneasy truce? Yes.
Did I deserve more? Doubtful.
Besides, Emily didn’t need another set of demons to fight. There was already the set I knew about—her caustic family situation. And the ones I suspected—the faraway look in her eyes when her leg was hurting; the reason she refused my kiss when most girls would beg to have that much of me.
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, cupcake girl.”
Soft breathing registered once my pulse stopped racing through my ears from that ridiculous proposition. I finally let the ceiling win our staring contest as my eyes sought hers in the dark.
Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks, red lips slightly parted. I watched her sleep, uncertain if I was grateful or frustrated by this development before deciding that it didn’t matter.
This was another moment of weakness in a day chock full of them. I’d be gone before she woke up, and with any luck, this conversation would be forgotten.
I expected the nightmares to come for me when I fell asleep. Instead, I dreamed.
Of a peaceful lake surrounded by trees, the sun burning on the horizon.
Of a pier that creaked and groaned beneath every step, the sound a melody that blended with nature.
Of a girl sitting at the end of the pier in a white dress, colorful tattoos on display, her feet in the water, a slight breeze stirring her hair.
I approached her, and the scene faded the moment I looked down.
But not before she tossed a blinding smile over her shoulder.
Not before she wiggled her fingers at me and the ring she wore caught the light, searing me from the inside out with the rightness of it.
23
Emily
Renata bumped me with her elbow for the third time in as many minutes as we walked to class early the next morning. I glanced at her curiously, unable to see her eyes through the oversized shades she wore despite the complete lack of sunshine.
Heavy, dark clouds hung over the campus, threatening to drop their payload at any moment. And here I was, sans umbrella because I’d been a bit distracted while I got ready this morning by the lingering warmth on one side of my bed and the masculine scent in the air.
Last night wasn’t a dream.
Ambrose LaCroix really broke into my room and slept beside me.
In the light of day, I couldn’t decide what surprised me more. The actual breaking and entering itself or him not trying anything despite the burning need in his dark eyes when I stepped out of the bathroom in my sleepwear. Say one thing for that boy, he did great things for my self-esteem.
I’d looked like a hot, exhausted mess. But you wouldn’t have known that by the way he devoured the sight of me.
Renata bumped me again, harder this time.
My eyes narrowed. “Do you want something, or did you wake up with a sporadic case of muscle spasms?”
“Bitch.” She stuck her tongue out. “Have I mentioned that you freaking suck at gossip? It’s like trying to pull teeth.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, come on. You think I missed someone sneaking into our dorm last night?” Uh oh. “Spill the beans because I have to know who has the balls to go against the Tarots.”
“Oh, sordid details,” a new voice chimed in right before a heavy arm got slung over my shoulder. Chrom’s smiling face filled my vision as he dipped his head beside mine. “Count me in. I’m especially interested in the poor sucker that’s going to find himself drinking through a straw.”
Renata huffed. “No one invited you to this conversation, Chromie. Buzz off before your fan club gets jealous. I just got my nails done and I’ll be pissed if I have to punch a bitch.”
Chrom looked around like he hadn’t noticed the girls huddled together, watching him walk with us.
“They’re harmless,” he said. “Besides, it’s not my fault that I’m so goddamn awesome it makes people jealous when they don’t get the gift of my presence.”
A laugh flew past my lips. “How do y’all even survive the crushing weight of your own egos?”
His grin broadened, dimple appearing in his cheek that was damn cute. With his golden hair, blue eyes, and easy smiles, Chrom Salvatore was every girl’s charming fantasy come to life.
Why couldn’t he be the one that made every cell in my body thrum with awareness?
Defiant Prince: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance (Black Rose University Book 1) Page 20