There went that word again.
Fate.
I rolled my eyes. “Did you rub a magic lamp for three wishes when fate struck?”
Her cheeks colored and I was oddly pleased to see genuine irritation flash in her eyes. This was the woman I knew and rarely got along with. That other one was an impostor off the discount rack.
“It’s not a joke,” she snapped. “If we hadn’t moved, then the same thing that happened to her daughter may have happened to you. So imagine how we feel to have gone to all that trouble only for you to date the boy who—”
I held up a hand and she stopped, clicking her teeth together in aggravation. “Back up. Daughter?”
Mom huffed. “Yes. Kaylee Stone. Although after the...incident, she goes by her mother’s maiden name. Kaylee Vandyke.”
Just like that, my heart stopped beating.
It didn’t flail or cry out. It just...stopped.
Beside me, a cup shattered, followed by a ragged curse.
The sight of Erik standing up to escape the small river of coffee spreading across the table while clutching his hand that dripped red was what tricked my body into taking another breath and bringing my systems back online.
Dad was at his side a second later, and I heard them arguing about whether or not he was going to need stitches like I was underwater. My body was functioning again, but my brain hadn’t gotten the message to keep processing thoughts. It was frozen on two ideas.
One, the girl Ambrose claimed was a ghost was still around.
Two, he was in some way responsible for her ghost-like status. To an extent he’d never felt like sharing with anyone.
Someone pulled my hand out of my lap and clutched it tight. Several slow blinks later, I looked down at Mom. She was on her knees beside my seat, staring up at me with wetness gathering on her lashes.
Distantly, my eyes slid around the restaurant.
We had an entire audience now.
People were standing up to get a better view.
I imagined Dad’s reputation was the only thing keeping someone from recording.
Yet Mom didn’t seem to care that the same people she’d usually look down her nose at were watching her kneel on the floor.
It was polished and clean, but it was still a floor.
That, more than anything, got me to tune in and listen when her lips moved.
She squeezed my hand in both of hers. “We didn’t want to drop this on your head like this, but it wasn’t exactly something we could text you about, and you didn’t answer our calls. We had to let you know before things went further with—”
Mom saw something on my face and stopped mid-sentence. Her brows drew together. Pain filled her eyes, and she grabbed my other hand.
“You mean before I fell in love with him?” My hollow, bitter laugh should’ve tinted the air around us with the black stain creeping across my heart. “What’s that saying? Day late and a dollar short?”
“Sweetie...” She reached for my face and I stopped her with a look.
“We’re not there yet and we may never be. Besides, why should I even believe you? This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve interfered in my life.”
I didn’t know what to think when a tight smile thinned her lips.
She went back around the table to retrieve her purse, sparing a glance for Dad and Erik while they used the linen napkin as a makeshift bandage. Mom returned to my side with a note in her hand. She passed it to me. There was an address and nothing else.
“I can take you,” she offered. “I knew my word alone wouldn’t be enough.”
“It wouldn’t have been.” I stared at the note. Sitting idle in my palm, it felt like it weighed a ton. Like it could ruin everything that had been going so, so well up until a few minutes ago.
“Don’t get rid of this one,” she said softly.
I spent a moment wondering how she knew I’d ditched the letter she sent with me before rather than embrace whatever toxicity I’d find inside it, but that moment passed.
A selfish, desperate, frightened part of me rose up with a demand to rip the note. Say screw it and stick my head in the sand like the problems would magically go away by themselves.
But how could they when they weren’t my problems to resolve in the first place?
If not for Ambrose and his damn secrets, I wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with, questioning who to believe.
I thought about calling him. About marching to wherever he was right this moment and demanding answers, but I’d given him time to tell me, hadn’t I? Weeks had gone by. Would it turn into months before he came clean? Years?
We had our entire college lives ahead of us. These years would determine who we’d be going forward, and where our futures would take us.
I wanted him in my future.
I wanted that more than anything.
But hadn’t I decided to come here so that I could build some sort of structure around my life?
If the entire idea was to have something solid and stable that couldn’t be blown over by the harsh winds of change, how could I rely on someone who refused to let me in?
I’d be building a house without any idea what lurked beneath the foundation.
I had the means to know sitting in my hand. I just had to be strong enough to pull off the blindfold and find out. Then, I had to be strong enough to survive whatever I ended up seeing.
No pressure or anything.
Wasn’t like my heart wanted to take the first bus out of my chest and retire to Cry Town, population: me.
Nope. Not this girl. I was going to be brave and independent and—
“Erik,” I said, voice breaking.
He moved to my side immediately.
I handed him the note.
“Don’t count him out just yet,” he said.
Since he was being nice, I gave him what I could. “I’ll try.”
Before he ushered me away from our parents, I turned. “One last thing. If you were so set on me staying away from here...why the invitation?” I focused on Mom. “Why let me see it?” Then Dad. “Why send it in the first place?”
They shared a wordless look I didn’t think they’d still be capable of.
Dad lifted his chin. “Because you deserved a chance to pick your own destiny without our interference.” Softly, he added, “We’d already done enough.”
36
Emily
“Do you believe any of that bullshit they tried to sell us?” Erik asked as he drove, bandaged hand on the wheel.
Hmm...maybe drove wasn’t the appropriate word choice.
Of all the days to be stuck in stop and go traffic, that’s exactly where we were.
Our destination was somewhere downtown, and at the rate we were progressing, I might have more luck walking there instead. But I couldn’t see Erik leaving his car in the middle of the street to join me, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go through with what we were doing if I was by myself.
The voice that wanted me to stick my fingers in my ears and sing until things made sense again hadn’t gone away since we left the restaurant. Hell, it was louder now than before.
A constant reminder that once I learned Ambrose’s secret there’d be no going back from it.
To say my nerves were splitting me apart at the seams would be an understatement.
I’d crossed and uncrossed my legs close to a hundred times, and each of those instances had been followed by me either clicking the seat belt, messing with the music playing through the speakers, or rolling my window up and down.
I’d never say a bad word about my brother again, because through all of it, he hadn’t cussed me out once. It’d be fun to say I would’ve been that restrained if the situations were reversed. Unfortunately, that would be a gigantic fucking lie.
“Hey.” Fingers snapped in front of my face. “Get out of your head. I’m sure it’s messed up enough without you spending more time in there rearranging things.”
I glanced a
t him, trying to match the crooked grin he wore. I tried; failed. “I know what you’re doing.”
“What’s that?”
“Trying to distract me.”
“Since you’re about to unravel your skirt from pulling at that damn string, I’m guessing it’s not working.”
I looked down and sighed at the long string trailing across my leg. He was right. If I kept going, I was going to reduce the damn thing to a bundle of fabric that would need to be stitched together again. I was good with a rolling pin and flour, not so much with a needle and thread. That took a whole set of skills I envied and most certainly didn’t have.
Sitting on my hands, I rested my head against the seat. What had he asked me? Maybe I could focus on that instead of the looming wall of fuck my life up we were headed straight for at breakneck speed. Well, again, not breakneck speed. We’d moved a few feet and that was it. The principle of the matter hadn’t changed though.
“I can’t tell if I believe them,” I said. “If it was a big ruse—which I wouldn’t put past either of them—what would they get from it?”
Erik bobbed his head before reaching over to open the glove compartment. An entire ziploc bag of pre-rolled joints came into view. “Pass me one, will ya?”
I kept staring at the sight. “Are you for real right now?”
He scowled, flipping off someone who cut in front of him and using his knee to hold the wheel while he grabbed the bag himself. My brother, ladies and gentlemen, the multitasker. “If you wanted one you could’ve just said so.”
“That’s...not what I meant. Besides, I’m trying to quit.”
He let go of the wheel again to light the joint and take a deep exhale. Had I complained about the traffic before? I changed my mind. Thank God for traffic, and letting me know to never ride with Erik on the highway.
If he took his hands off the wheel going as fast as I’m sure this car did, I’d probably give up the ghost then and there.
My enjoyment for taking risks often ventured into territory that was dangerous, but not hopeless. Crashing a moving vehicle at triple-digits usually meant you wouldn’t be walking away.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” he said.
“Probably because you didn’t care to know the first thing about me,” I said without any heat. “You know...kind of like Dad. A witch must have put a curse on my face since you hated me on sight.”
His eyes tightened. “I deserved that.” Erik rolled the window down and blew a stream of smoke. Then he didn’t say anything else.
Oh my fucking God. My family is going to make me go mute from screaming.
I reached out and snatched the joint from him, taking a small puff in favor of beating him over the head. Closing my eyes, I held my breath and kept it in my lungs as long as I could before I finally coughed, spewing smoke everywhere while my eyes watered.
Erik chuckled. “That’s what happens when you try to kick the habit.”
“Shut up,” I croaked. “You don’t get to be a smartass right now. Are you not going to say anything to defend yourself?”
Traffic moved forward at a crawl and so did we. I was glad he’d anchored his phone on the opposite side of the steering column. It kept me from seeing how long we had until we reached our destination. The moment I focused on it again, I’d be sucked in, and I might not get back out this time.
“I’m not in the habit of making apologies,” he said. “You should know this about me by now. I liked to laugh at people’s suffering when we lived together. I don’t know why you think that would’ve changed now that I’ve had years to hone my craft.”
“So it was...fun for you to be a dick to me?”
“Not as much as I hoped.”
Definitely rethinking beating him over the head.
“There’s one thing you have to understand, Emily. We might be twins, but as far back as I can remember, you were always the golden child. The one Mom wanted to spend time doting on. The one Dad wanted to protect.” He jerked the wheel, switching lanes just to come to another standstill. “I was destined to have a place among the Tarots, no matter how badly Dad wished otherwise. Except even stepping into that legacy didn’t come with his respect or even his attention. It was always on you.”
“And you blamed me?” I screeched, lifting a hand when his mouth opened. “Being the center of their focus was suffocating. I would’ve given it to you if I could have!”
His shoulder twitched.
I raised my voice. “I swear on God, the Bible, and blueberry muffins that if you shrug at me again while we talk about this I’m going to bribe Chrom into dislocating your shoulders.”
The asshole laughed hard enough that he had to toss his joint out the window when it fell on him.
“You’re going to add littering with an illegal substance while you have enough weed on you to get yourself thrown behind bars! What the hell is wrong with your brain?”
“Em,” he choked out, trying to calm himself down. “Just...take it down a notch for a second, will you? I’m just coming to terms with the fact that either the Tarots and I are just as much of a bad influence as people claim we are, or that you happen to be as bloodthirsty as the rest of us all on your own.”
I huffed. “Don’t get a big head. You and your buddies don’t get to take credit for my attitude. After dealing with the shit I did living with Mom solo, I had to toughen up or get run over.”
Erik brought the car to a halt right as traffic finally started moving.
I watched the open road before glancing at him. His hands were tight on the wheel, and the flush beneath his skin made his normally non-existent freckles show as strongly as mine did.
“Umm...what are you doing? Drive, dude.”
He glanced at me, eyes narrowing. “Who fucked with you? All I need is a name, and I’ll figure out the rest.”
Oh, that’s what this is? How...sweet?
At least it might be if we weren’t doing this while people honked their horns. My mind flashed to Ambrose doing this same thing the day he drove me to campus, and I wondered who’d patented the trick first. It was persuasive, I’d give them that.
“Nice to see those big brother instincts are finally kicking in, but you’re late. Ambrose took care of it already. Now, can you drive? Please?”
Erik lingered in that spot a moment longer before he got us moving again.
“Is that why I found him in the backyard washing a metal bet?” He shook his head. “Christ. This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. You don’t even care about the attention but you’re a beacon for it. First with our parents. Then you show up here, and within a few days, the same guy who’d sooner gnaw his arm off than give some chick the time of day can’t stop chasing you. No wonder I was salty.”
“Aha!” I pointed at him. “So you admit it.”
He pulled to the side of the road, parallel parking like a god. I went out of my way to avoid ever having to do such a thing. Wherever I was going would be closed before I managed to get my vehicle in a space without leaving dents or scratching paint.
“I admit it,” he said, glancing out the window. “Doesn’t mean I apologize for it.”
“Asshole.”
“Again, if you’re waiting on an apology, I hope you know where the fountain of youth is.”
“Do you even know how to have a conductive conversation?”
Erik turned, face carved from stone. “Is that when two people hold onto a live wire and talk to each other?”
I slapped a hand to my face because I simply could not deal with him. Yeah, I had my moments of being a pain in the butt. Erik, on the other hand, knew how to annoy like it was a superpower.
“Before you facepalm yourself to death, we’re here.”
I peered through my fingers, realizing he’d parked in front of a lavish apartment complex. The panic I’d managed to push to the side snapped into place, turning my breathing shallow and restless.
“Too late to freak out,” Erik said, getting out of
the car.
Swallowing the thick lump in my throat, I did the same and joined him on the sidewalk.
“At least it’s an apartment, right?” I stared up at the structure. “Could’ve been worse. We could be standing in front of a butcher’s shop and that would lead to—”
He ignored me and headed towards the doors.
I bit down on my tongue to stop it from running away from me as I chased him down. When we stepped into the lobby, a man at the front desk looked up immediately. I thought for sure this would be over before it started, but he glanced from me to Erik and I saw recognition dawn. The man nodded as we went by, heading for the elevator.
“I’m guessing you don’t know him,” I said, unable to keep my peace a moment longer.
“Nah.” Erik called the elevator and jammed his hands in his pocket. “But I forgot what it was like to be a nobody years ago.” The gunmetal gray doors opened and we stepped inside, willingly sealing ourselves in a box together. “Everyone knows me these days. I’d say I hated it, but the fan club is a nice perk.”
Since my focus needed to be on slowing my heart down before I passed out, I decided it was best to ignore whatever he was saying. I closed my eyes as we headed towards the penthouse suite, but it didn’t help. My pulse made my eyelids jump, and combining that with the motion made acid roll and burn in my gut.
“What do you think we’re going to find?” I whispered.
“A word of advice?” He didn’t wait for me to respond. “Don’t try to jump to conclusions. If there’s one thing I know about Ambrose, it’s that things are never what they seem. You’ll run yourself ragged trying to operate on the same wavelength as that fucked up brain of his.”
The elevator let us off on a floor with two doors. An apartment and a fire escape. Despite Erik’s warning, my mind took all the television and movies I’d watched over the years and ran with it.
What was I going to find?
A mail-order bride?
A girl raising his child out of sight and out of mind while he rolled around with me?
Defiant Prince: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance (Black Rose University Book 1) Page 34