Yet Nathan had loved her more; so much more that he had wanted to move their relationship on to the next phase – to have a family with her, to extend and share their love with their children and she was sad that she hadn’t been able to see that until this moment.
Nathan knew all about love; it had taken her longer to catch up, but now she got it.
Better late than never.
She sighed as the lift sped up to the Second Level, offering a spectacular night-time view over the City of Light. As soon as the door opened, she darted straight to the restrooms to discard her maiden-aunt sweater, replace her pumps with her stilettos, and fix her make-up and hair until the effect was sort of passable for the type of restaurant she would be dining in. That was another thing she had learned along the way – beauty was only skin deep; what was the point of a smooth, polished exterior when just below the surface were ragged raging waters? Anyway, she wasn’t there to impress the guy, just to have a friendly chat about Rachel and the French legal profession – the only two things they had in common.
She checked her watch. Ten minutes past eight. Yet she couldn’t resist taking a few extra moments to check her texts again. As she scrolled through the list, relief spread through her veins. One from Hollie and one from Rachel. She selected Hollie’s first, anxious to reassure herself that all was well in the warm streets of Rome.
OMG! Matteo loves me! And guess what? I love him too! Why had I never realised? And it’s all thanks to you, Liv, and your lessons in love. I’ll share all the details tomorrow. Tonight is for the celebration of passionate Italian lerve! Good luck to you!
Olivia’s heart sang. Tears threatened to burst their banks, but she refused to meet a stranger at one of the most elegant restaurants in Paris with puffy, red-veined eyes. And what did Hollie mean ‘Good luck to you!’?
She was obviously delirious with desire, thought Olivia with a smile, before selecting Rachel’s message.
Where are you? He says you’re late???
Olivia smiled and texted back.
Okay, okay, bully! I’m just in the ladies at the Jules Verne fixing my lipstick so I’ll be out in a minute. But you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve had the epiphany, Rach. “Love” is the answer! “Love” is the reason that marriages endure. Stick that in your paper and nothing else!
Thank God for that! And thank God you’ve arrived. Now go!
Olivia beamed as a sense of wellbeing flooded through her veins. She twirled a tendril of escaped hair at the side of each cheek, touched up her pink-frosted lip gloss and pushed open the door. The view through the windows was mesmerising. Every hour the initially-intended-to-be-temporary structure of the Eiffel Tower glistened with millions of sparkling fairy lights; a beacon of Parisian evidence that even the temporary, if enough love is lavished upon it, can last a lifetime.
And what a romantic setting for those intending to propose that night? She straightened her shoulders and when the maître d’ greeted her and asked her to follow him, she resolved to thoroughly enjoy the evening ahead
Except when he indicated her table next to the window, her whole world tilted on its axis.
Chapter 29
Olivia was rarely lost for words but gobsmacked just about covered it. Her first thought was that her eyes were playing tricks on her, that he couldn’t be standing there next to the table overlooking the whole of Paris, staring back at her with that smile, that wonderful, amazing, happy smile that had stayed with her every minute of every day since the moment they had met.
As the shock abated, she realised the maître d’ was waiting to help her into her seat and, on trembling legs, with her heart hammering out a symphony of disbelief and confusion, she closed the space between them and slid into the chair opposite him. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out; she had so much to say she didn’t know where to start, so instead she simply feasted her eyes on the man sitting in front of her, drinking in his soft grey eyes, the curl of his hair against his collar, but most of all the way he was looking at her, just as he always had – as though she were the only girl in the world.
‘Hi, Liv.’
Nathan reached across the table to take her hand, the slight tremor in his fingers belying his nerves as he scoured her face, taking in every detail as if he’d forgotten what she looked like. She suddenly felt self-conscious, a feeling she had never experienced when she was in Nathan’s company. She knew she had changed significantly over the last ten months; her hair was longer, softer, looser, the dark smudges under her eyes had gone, her frown lines had melted away, but the most seismic change of all was that she was a completely different person.
‘Hi, Nathan.’
Her voice sounded strange, like it belonged to someone else, and to calm her swirling emotions she took a quick sip of the iced water the waiter had poured for them after handing out the menus. Why was he here? What was he going to say to her? Would it be something that made her heart sing or sent her screaming for the door? And where was Rachel’s friend Charles?
She began to feel light-headed at the enormity of the situation, that this might be her one and only chance to hear the answers to the kaleidoscope of questions that had ricocheted around her brain for months, each one leading to another and another and another. But she just couldn’t bring herself to be the first to break the magical spell that had transported Nathan to that restaurant in the sky.
What if she looked away, glanced at the menu, asked him what was going on, and he disappeared in a puff of smoke? What if this was some kind of mirage brought on by the culmination of ten long months of intense stress and she was actually staring at the increasingly perplexed face of Rachel’s Parisian lawyer friend?
No, that was ridiculous; she wasn’t crazy, just shocked.
However, she was inordinately grateful when she heard Nathan inhale a deep breath – after all, he’d had time to prepare for this conversation, time to rehearse what he was going to say when they next saw each other. Nevertheless, she still detected a slight twitch of anxiety at the corner of his lips, a fact that caused her heart to squeeze.
‘Thank you for coming, Liv, and I’m sorry about the deception.’
‘That’s … that’s okay.’
‘It wasn’t my idea, but I couldn’t risk you not turning up.’
Olivia knew Nathan was telling the truth, because for as long as she had known him, he had preferred to take the open, more direct approach to every difficult situation, adamant that clear, honest communication meant less risk of misunderstandings and distrust. Was he right, though? Would she have avoided this meeting? Maybe. Maybe not.
‘Would you believe I’ve called Rachel more times in the last twenty-four hours than the whole of last year? And when eight o’clock came and went and you hadn’t shown up, I sent her so many panicky texts that I think she was about to call in the men in white coats.’
‘She told me I was meeting a Parisian lawyer friend of hers.’
‘I know.’
‘Called Charles.’
‘I know.’
And then it hit her – Nathan Charles Fitzgerald – the man she had married.
‘Ahhh …’
‘Rachel has been amazing, a true friend and an astute counsellor. From the moment that divorce petition was served, I regretted it with every fibre of my body. I wanted to call you, to talk to you, to meet up with you, to ask you to forgive me, but when I called Rachel to ask for her advice, to ask if she would mediate for me, she told me you’d left for Malta and that I had to give you some time to come to terms with life away from Edwards & Co. I argued, I was desperate to hear your voice, frantic to explain, and you’ve no idea how difficult it was to let your calls go to voicemail – it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.’
Nathan scratched at the stubble on his cheeks, his eyes fixed earnestly on hers.
‘But Rachel stuck to her guns. She listened to me for hours pouring my heart out, but she just kept saying the same thing: that it
was important for you to complete your journey – both physical and emotional – and only then would she agree to orchestrate a meeting, which of course she’s done with her customary precision and timing.’
As the waiter set down their exquisitely presented meals, Olivia took a moment to glance at the other diners in the Jules Verne, all of whom had their own agenda for choosing such a restaurant on that Saturday night in Paris, and all totally oblivious to their neighbour’s unfolding story.
‘I was in Singapore, you know.’
‘Yes, Rachel told me – but only after you’d left. The girl you saw me with at Raffles was Jasmine Wong; she’s a commercial property lawyer for one of the big law firms over there and she picked the venue, which I have to say completely threw me. I’d been under the impression that Jasmine and I were there for a business meeting, but when she suggested we extend our discussions at her apartment, I realised that I had made a huge mistake. She’s attractive, intelligent, good company, but she’s not you, Liv. I’d expected my inaugural drink at the most iconic hotel in the city to be in the Writers’ Bar where you and I would drink Singapore Slings whilst chucking peanut shells on the floor and discussing the books of all the famous authors who’d knocked back those cocktails before us!’
Olivia smiled when she remembered them adding that experience to their bucket list.
‘Elliot made sure I did all the tourist things.’
‘Singapore’s an amazing city, but I didn’t do a lot of sightseeing.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because everywhere I went, everything I did, I wanted to share it with you. I loved my job over there, and the people I met were hospitable and welcoming, but all I could think about was what you were doing, where you might be on that crazy round-the-world trip Rachel had sent you on, whether I should just ignore her advice and just give you a call.’
‘I wish you had,’ whispered Olivia, her voice strained with emotion.
If only she had known how Nathan was feeling, she wouldn’t have had to go through the trauma, the searing pain of the loss of their relationship. All those times she had tried to call him, and he had sat and watched his phone ring, then listened to her voicemail. If it hadn’t been for Rachel, they could have been having this conversation months ago!
But when she thought about it, she hadn’t been ready to talk to Nathan. Rachel was right; she had been on an emotional journey that had led her along a path of self-discovery, of self-knowledge, a journey that had given her an invaluable insight into the person she had become and how it had affected the people who loved her, and then she had been given the priceless gift of learning how to change, to become a better friend, a better daughter, a better partner.
‘When my secondment was up, I couldn’t wait to get back to the grey, overcast skies of London. I’m not ashamed to admit that I was homesick, and the day I landed at Heathrow airport, I rushed round to the apartment and nearly had a heart attack when I saw the “Sold” board outside. I couldn’t stop myself, I hammered on the door, but there was no reply and when I called Rachel she told me you were in Copenhagen – but that was when she told me that she had organised this trip to Paris.’
‘She really is devious, our friend.’ Olivia smiled, her heart soaring with gratitude that she had someone as wonderful as Rachel fighting her corner, knowing exactly when the time was right to release her from her crazy pursuit of love so she could put what she had learned into practice.
‘I made the biggest mistake of my life when I sent you that divorce petition, Liv. At the time, I thought it was the only way I’d be able to have a fulfilling life, a happy home, a family, but these last few months have been complete hell – much worse than last year when we hardly set eyes on each other. I love you, Liv, always have, always will, and if I have to settle for a few crumbs of your time, then I know it will be better than the excruciating pain of missing you every hour of every day.’
‘You still love me?’
Nathan nodded; his eyes filled with uncertainty as he waited for her response.
A surge of emotion whooshed into her chest, sending delicious sparkles of joy out to her fingertips. She smiled, which turned into a grin when she understood what Rachel had done for her and Nathan, for her oldest friend’s enduring love for them both, and for her determination to ensure that they realised their love for each other too. She had so much to tell him, so many stories to recite of the places she had been, the people she had met, and what she had discovered on her global trek to gather her lessons in love.
But all that could wait, because there was one thing, and one thing only, she wanted him to know right then as their glasses of champagne were replenished by the waiter.
‘I love you, too. Nathan. Always have, always will.’
And when Nathan leaned forward to brush his lips against hers, with the same expression on his handsome face as she had carried in her mind’s eye all the way around the world and back again, her battered, ragged heart ballooned with happiness.
Chapter 30
Six months later
‘We are gathered here today to witness our friends, Hollie Helen Shaw and Matteo Luigi Cristiani make a solemn commitment to each other …’
The congregation had gathered in a tiny, whitewashed hotel overlooking the beach and the eternal expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. It was a perfect setting for a perfect couple, and, in Olivia’s opinion, the view from the full-width French windows rivalled any of the spectacular scenery she had enjoyed on her travels around the world the previous year. Of course the sun was shining – it was Hollie and Matteo’s wedding day!
‘… and you may kiss the bride!’
When the two best friends kissed, every single one of their guests whistled and whooped and cheered; even little Lottie joined in with a piercing shriek of pleasure as Katrina jiggled the newest addition to their family, resplendent in an ivory silk bridesmaid dress, on her lap. Elliot was first to step forward and congratulate the newly married couple, hugging his sister, and then offering his palm to Matteo before pulling him in for an affectionate shoulder bump.
To Olivia, the look on Matteo’s face spoke volumes. Love was worth waiting for. He had, at last, got all he had ever wanted and wished for – those golden coins of happiness had rained down on his life and delivered Hollie as his bride. She had noticed Matteo’s father, Antonio, had spent the whole of the short ceremony wiping away tears having confided earlier in the day that he hoped with all his heart that his beloved son and Hollie would have even a fraction of the enduring love he and his wife had enjoyed.
The wedding party filed from the room, pausing to congratulate the ecstatic couple, wishing them well on their life’s journey and on their honeymoon along the Amalfi Coast, before they took part in a second wedding celebration organised by Matteo’s family in Italy.
‘Well, that was a beautiful ceremony, Liv,’ declared Rachel, patting her eyes with the huge cotton handkerchief Denise had given her and then tucking her plum-and-apricot-streaked hair behind her ears to display a pair of silver earrings in the shape of horseshoes, which she’d commissioned especially for the June wedding. ‘You are a complete natural. I’m sure your services will be in great demand, so I was wondering if I could book you …’
‘Not in too much demand, I hope.’ Nathan laughed, appearing at Olivia’s side, hooking his arm around her shoulder and dropping a kiss on her cheek. ‘We’ve moved down here for a quieter life, although I’m not sure how long that will last.’
Nathan gave Olivia a knowing smile and she beamed back at him, her heart bursting with love for the man who made her heart soar. Life was about to get more complicated, but this time it was going to be in a good way, in the best way, and she couldn’t wait! They had decided not to announce their news until the following day as they didn’t want to steal any of the limelight from Hollie and Matteo, but she had already got her eye on a Moses basket and a little pink elephant in a shop in St Ives, their new hometown where they had invested the mone
y from the sale of their London apartment in a cute stone cottage with a picket fence and honeysuckle growing round the eaves.
As soon as she had got back from Paris, she had resigned from Edwards & Co, and Nathan had arranged to job-share, with most of his work being home-based; his foreign trips were greatly curtailed as his colleague jumped at the chance to spend the company’s expenses in a far-flung country.
Life couldn’t get any better. It had been an amazing day seeing two of her best friends in the world commit their lives to each other, a celebration that was filled with joy and laughter and all the people she loved the most – even her parents had made the trip from Yorkshire to Cornwall to witness their beloved daughter’s first ceremony.
‘Thank you, Liv. You are the best friend anyone could ask for.’
Hollie flung her arms around Olivia’s neck, radiant and laughing, her white, flapper-style wedding dress perfect for the Cornish summer ceremony. She bent down to hand her freesia-filled bridal bouquet to a delighted Ruby and then linked her arms through Matteo’s and Nathan’s, indicating for Rachel and Denise to join them, and then calling Elliot and Ying over too. When the whole gang were assembled, Hollie cleared her throat theatrically and, in her best advocate’s voice, made her announcement.
‘Ladies and gentlemen! Can I have three cheers for Olivia? Hip hip!’
‘Hooray!’
‘Hip hip!’
‘Hooray!’
‘Hip hip!’
‘Hooray!’
‘One wedding ceremony down, only four hundred and ninety-nine to go!’
And the whole wedding party laughed and clapped and cheered again.
For Olivia had taken the first step towards rebalancing the karma of love. From that day forward, she had become the proud owner of a licence to conduct not only her best friend’s wedding ceremony but everyone else’s, too; anyone who wanted to declare their union to the world with the assistance of the newest Wedding Registrar in the county of Cornwall – Mrs Olivia Jane Fitzgerald.
A Year of Chasing Love Page 24