“Sorry little man. You’ve got to stay in there. Give me a kiss.” He turned his head and puckered his lips. I kissed him and hugged him the best I could. “I’ll miss you.”
“Bye, babe.” I smiled one last time at Pup as I reached in the back seat for my bag.
“Love you.” He said once more before I closed the door and stood back waiting for him to drive away.
A familiar hand gripped mine and I squeezed it tight. Lizzy was always my rock when I needed someone, even when her brother cheated on me.
I waved as Pup drove away, tears streamed down my cheeks and Lizzy pulled me in close to her. I cried on her shoulder. I cried for leaving them, cried for Toes and cried for my mum, dad and brother who had left me all alone.
“Come on. Let’s get you inside.” She picked up my bag that I dropped and I quickly took it off her.
“You can’t carry that you have special cargo on board.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to be as bad as Scott?” she complained.
“I’m going to be worse. I’ll be here to wait on you hand and foot.” I smiled.
“You’ve come here to heal and get your head on straight.” We walked in through the front door and I dropped my bag at the bottom of the stairs. Lizzy and Scott had a lovely three bedroom house with an open plan kitchen and living room taking up the whole bottom floor. “Have you thought about going and seeing the therapist that you saw when you lost your mum and dad?”
“Yeah, I have an appointment for tomorrow. I want to feel better, like my old self so I can get back to my men and the life I want to live. I don’t want to feel lost anymore.”
“Let’s chill out with a movie tonight.”
“Sounds like a great plan. Thanks for this Lizzy.”
“You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you.”
“Ditto.” I smiled at her as I slouched down into the sofa and pulled my phone from my pocket. Was it bad that I wanted to talk to Pup already?
Pup
I couldn’t face going back to the club and everyone asking where Stef was. It was bad enough that on the way home Cooper chanted mamamamama constantly. I pulled into my mum and dads driveway hoping that they wouldn’t mind me just turning up.
“Come on little man.” I said to Cooper as I pulled him out of his car seat. I sat him on my hip and walked up the small path that led to mum and dad’s front door. I rang the doorbell and waited to see if anyone was home.
“Tyler?” Mum smiled as she opened the door.
“Hi, Mum. I hope you don’t mind us popping in?”
“Of course not. You don’t need to ring the bell, this is your home.” She stood back from the door and ushered us in. “No Stef?”
“No, she’s with her friend. Where’s dad?”
“Playing golf,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “I swear he is there more than here,” she chuckled. “Would you like a drink? I’ve just made some cookies.”
“Thanks, Mum. Coffee would be great.” I followed her in to the kitchen and I sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and sat Cooper on the bar in front of me.
“Are you ok? You seem sad.”
“Yeah,” I lied.
“Tyler,” she said in a mum tone.
“Stef is just going through a couple of things and has decided to stay with her friend for a couple of days.”
“Oh no, are you breaking up?”
“No.” I ran my hand over my face. “At least I hope not. I don’t know what to think really. Some stuff went down at the club and she’s struggling to deal with it.”
Mum placed a coffee in front of me along with a plateful of cookies. She lifted Cooper up into her arms so I could eat.
“You’ll probably find that all you need to do is give her some time. She’ll talk it out with her friends and she’ll be back.”
“God, I hope so. I only left her thirty minutes ago and I want to go and get her already.”
“You really do love her,” she stated.
“Yeah, I thought I loved Tanya.” I paused as the image of her lifeless body covered in blood popped into my head. I had to push it aside and remember that she had turned up to the club that day to steal my son from me. “But now that I have Stef I know it wasn’t love at all. He was the best thing to come out of it all.”
“If you need help with him while Stef is away I can watch him. I’d love to do that.”
“Really?”
“Yes, of course. I hated that I couldn’t help before. I want us to be a proper family again. All of us.”
“Thanks, Mum. That’s a load of weight taken off my shoulders. I have a friend, Eden who is a child minder. She’s great with him but I can’t really afford to use her too much.”
“There’s no need to pay for a child minder when I’m right here. Granny would love to look after you, yes she would.” She tickled Cooper’s tummy as she spoke in a baby voice.
The front door opened and closed and footsteps started our way.
“Mary, is Tyler here?” Dad called out.
“Yes. In the kitchen.”
Within seconds dad had rounded the corner with a big smile on his face.
“It’s good to see you, son.” He pulled me in for a hug and I patted him on the back.
“Good to see you too. How was it out on the holes?”
“Really good. The sun was shining and it was relaxing.”
“You mean boring?” I chuckled.
“You’ll have to join me one day.” He said as he rounded the breakfast bar to give mum a kiss and take Cooper off of her. “We can start him young.”
“I’ll give it a miss thanks. Too slow paced for me.”
“Let’s go outside and enjoy this lovely weather. I’ve just cut the grass so it’ll be fine for Cooper.” Dad headed towards the back door with Cooper as I climbed to my feet. “Mary bring some of those cookies with you.” He winked at her.
“So demanding,” she giggled to herself.
It made a nice change to spend the day with mum and dad. Cooper played in the garden with dad until he got sleepy and then mum held him while he napped. We stayed for tea and I was surprised to see that mum and dad had still kept most of my stuff from when I was a baby. They had brought down from the attic my high chair and a boxful of toys that kept Cooper entertained.
“Thanks for a lovely day.” I said to mum as I walked towards the front door with a sleepy Cooper in my arms.
“I enjoyed it so much. Don’t forget to give me a call when you need help with him.”
“I will. I promise.” I kissed her on the cheek before I opened the door. “Bye dad.” I shouted down the hallway.
“Bye, son.” He called back as he stepped out of his office. He had a phone call to take earlier and had spent the last hour in his office.
“See you both soon.” I strolled down the path and strapped Cooper into his seat before climbing in myself and driving home with a smile on my face.
All I needed now was Stef to come home and everything would be getting back on track.
Within five minutes I was home and ambling up the steps that led to our front door. I hesitated before unlocking it, I hated the thought of going in knowing that Stef wouldn’t be there but her scent and all her stuff would be.
It’s just a little while I kept telling myself.
I pushed the door open, stepped inside and kicked it shut after me. I had managed to get Cooper out of his seat without waking him. Now all I needed to do was change him and get him in his cot.
After getting Cooper settled, tidying up and grabbing a shower myself I was finally sitting down to relax on the sofa. I grabbed the remote control for the TV and started flicking through the channels when my phone started ringing. I leant forwards and picked it up off the coffee table. Glancing at the screen I was pleased to see that it was Stef calling me.
“Hi, babe.” I answered.
“Hey, you ok?” she asked.
“Yeah, we spent the day with mum and dad. Sh
e’s going to help look after Cooper when I’m busy.”
“That’s great Ty.” Her voice sounded happy and I could just imagine the smile on her face. “I’m glad you’re sorting things out. I guess hurting my ankle was a good thing.”
“You hurting yourself is never a good thing.” I growled.
“Calm down, Ty. I meant a good thing came out of the situation. Is Cooper in bed?”
“Yeah I just put him down. Mum and dad spoilt him today. He was exhausted. How are you?”
“Yeah, good. Lizzy and I spent the day watching films. I’m in bed now, reading.” I glanced at the clock on the wall, it read seven thirty.
“You’re in bed at seven thirty? With a book?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to get under Lizzy and Scott’s feet. They still need some alone time. Plus I have an appointment at eight tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, what you doing tomorrow?” I slouched down in my seat and crossed my ankles together on the coffee table.
“I’m going to see the therapist I used when mum and dad died. It helped.”
“That’s good. I hope it goes well for you.”
“I miss you.”
“Ah, don’t say that. You have no idea how much I want to drive over there and bring you home.”
“Once my head is sorted I’ll be back.”
“Ok babe. Get some sleep and I’ll talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you too. Give Cooper a kiss from me. Goodnight.”
“Night babe.”
I reluctantly hung up the phone and placed it by the side of me on the sofa. I’d keep the sound on and have it close by in case she needed me. I began flicking through the TV channels once more until I settled on watching Prison Break.
The apartment was quiet and lonely without Stef in it. I just had to keep reminding myself that she would be back.
Stef
It had been four weeks since I had left Pup and Cooper, but I felt like I had finally turned a corner. Seeing my therapist twice a week for a month had helped loads. I worked through all my issues and upset. My nightmares had finally stopped and I felt well rested again.
“I’m getting married today!” Lizzy sung as she walked into the kitchen. Her baby bump was getting bigger by the day. Sometimes I still found it hard to believe that she was carrying twins. They had their twelve week scan last month and found out that the babies were in the same amniotic sac which meant they would be identical and of the same sex.
“Yes you are. Are you excited?” I poured us both a glass of orange juice into a champagne flute and we toasted to her and Scott.
“Yes. I’m just worried I’m not going to fit into my dress.”
“Yeah, me too. The way you have been feeding me this week I feel like I should be eating for three. You’re definitely a feeder.”
“A what?” she asked screwing her face up.
“A feeder. Someone who’s happy cooking and feeding other people.”
“Oh. Thanks for everything you’ve helped with this week. I know it can’t have been easy seeing Pups mum and dad at the hotel.”
“No. But at least I got to see Cooper for a little while.” I smiled, remembering him calling out to me as soon as he saw me. I rushed over to him and cuddled him for as long as he let me.
“Hello.” Becca, Lydia and Stacy called out as they barrelled in through the front door.
“Why are you not showered?” Becca asked Lizzy.
“Because I’m not getting married for another six hours yet.” She sat down at the kitchen table and started eating the left over pizza from last night.
“Lizzy!” Becca squealed. “That can’t be good for you or the babies. I’ll make you some porridge,” she said grabbing the old pizza off Lizzy and throwing it in the bin.
“I’m going to shower now. Then it’ll all be free for when you need it.” I announced.
“The hair and make-up girls will be here in an hour.” Lydia shouted after me.
I took a deep breath as I drove my new car up to the Cornish Crusaders gate and wound down my window.
“Oh, hey Stef. Is Pup expecting you?” Terry, the prospect asked.
“No. It’s a surprise.”
“Ok, well go on in.” He pressed the button and I tapped my hands on the steering wheel as I waited for the gate to slide open.
“Thanks.” I smiled as I drove through the gate and up the driveway. I parked my car by the club house entrance and took a deep breath before stepping out. I was already dressed for the wedding in my silver dress that clung to all of my curves.
“Hey, Solar.” I called out as I saw Solar coming from the club.
“Hi, Stef. Whoa, de-ja-vu,” he chuckled. “Are you coming in?” I shook my head.
“Do you mind bringing him out?”
“Sure, I’ll go get him.” I turned on the spot so my back was to the doors and glanced around. Who would have thought that coming back here would relax me and make me feel like I was finally home again?
“Stef?” Pups voice slid over me and I couldn’t stop the desire from shooting around in my veins.
“Hi.” I smiled as I turned around to face him. “It’s Lizzy’s wedding and I need a date.” I opened up the back door to my car and pulled out two suits. One for him and one for Cooper. They were matching only Coopers had a little waistcoat with his instead of a jacket.
“What’s this?” He asked stepping forward and rubbing his hand over my small baby bump.
“This is Cooper’s brother or sister.” I smiled. When he didn’t speak I continued. “I only found out about it last month when I was at Lizzy’s. I’m twelve weeks pregnant.”
“Twelve weeks? That means…”
“Yep. You knocked me up the first night I stayed here at the clubhouse.” His hands were still covering my bump. “How do you feel about it?”
“Pissed off that I’ve been wrapping up every time we’ve been together and I didn’t need to.”
I couldn’t stop the laughter that escaped me, that was such a guy response.
“Will you and Cooper be my dates to the wedding?”
“On one condition,” he said.
“And what’s that?”
“That you come home with us.”
“I was coming home today whether you came with me or not.” I smiled.
“Finally.” He picked me up and swung me around in a circle. Our happy moment was cut short when a door was slammed behind us. Pup placed me back on the floor as we heard someone yelling.
“Leave me alone!” Eden stormed past us and headed down the drive way.
“Red!” Tat’s voice boomed as he chased after her.
“Don’t call me that,” she fumed, spinning around to face him.
“Well, you didn’t mind last night.” He smirked.
“Yet another mistake I made.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He reached for her and she sidestepped him.
“I can’t do this anymore, Tat. You’re only interested in getting me in bed along with any other girls. I deserve more, I deserve better.”
“I thought we had an agreement?”
“No, we didn’t. Bye.” She turned back around and hurried out of the gate with her head bowed.
Stef
“Babe, there is still so much that needs to be done.” I complained at Pup.
We had moved into our new house a week ago after our daughter was born. Pups mum and dad had bought us a small three bedroom house that overlooked the beach at Portwrinkle, it was a stone’s throw away from their house and close enough to the clubhouse for Pup.
I had taken on help at ‘Wheelz’ when the majority of my time had been occupied by our two children.
Kerenza was now four weeks old and a complete daddy’s girl. That could be as any excuse Pup got to hold her and he did. We chose the name Kerenza as it was a Cornish name and means love. Our relationship was far from easy but that moment we met in the strip club was love at first sight.
“What needs do
ing?” he asked, climbing to his feet and passing her to me.
“All these boxes need to be emptied and moved. I need shelves putting up in the storage cupboard on top of the stairs and the stair gates need fitting. Where’s Cooper?”
“Relax. Mum came and picked him up five minutes ago.”
“Please start with the stair gates. I don’t want Cooper falling down them.”
“I’m on it.” He smiled before kissing me. I sat down on the sofa and got myself comfy. “Um and why do you get to sit down?”
“Because I’m about to feed your daughter. You know the one that I pushed out of my body only four weeks ago.”
“You relax. I’m going to call my brothers and we will have this house straightened out by the end of the day.”
“Thank you.”
“Mum, mum, mum.” Cooper yelled as he came barrelling into the bedroom where I was changing Kerenza.
“Hi, little man.” He ran around to the side of the bed I was sitting and stretched up to give me a kiss.
“Renza.” That’s what he called his sister as he couldn’t pronounce her name yet. At nearly two years old he was quite advanced with his speech.
“Where’s daddy?”
“Right here.” He strolled into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed beside us. “How’s my girls?” He kissed me on the lips before kissing Kerenza on the top of her head.
“We’re good. Ready to go to sleep now that her tummy is full.”
“Mummy, can I hab a bath?”
“Of course. You get her to sleep and I’ll bath him.” I climbed off the bed as Pup pulled our daughter into his arms and rubbed her back. I grabbed hold of Cooper’s hand and led him into the bathroom where I plugged the bath and turned on the water. He was busy pulling off his clothes and throwing them onto the floor.
“Do you need a wee?” he shook his head.
“Bubbles, mummy.” I added a drop of his hulk bubble bath and he jumped up and down in excitement. I tested the water before plonking him in it. He pulled all the toys that were stacked around the edge of the bath into the water. It was unusual these days to have a shower that didn’t involve stepping onto some sort of superhero toy.
Conflicted Love Page 17