by Eve Langlais
It took only a moment to swap out the damp for a dry one. Then another few seconds to wash my hands and splash some water on my face. The cooling drops didn’t help much. I still appeared frazzled with my sloppy bun and dripping curly tendrils. In good news, my cheeks had color and my eyes were bright. I pinched my lips like an article had suggested to plump and redden them before exiting the bathroom. Darryl was looking over the list I’d made of his stuff and left on the counter where I’d eventually process transactions.
“These my things?” he asked, pointing.
“Yes. I’ve itemized them and suggested prices. I meant to drop that off so you could check it over.”
Darryl turned from the list. “No worries. I trust you to figure out a fair price for the stuff. Honestly, anything you can get is better than the nothing I had when it was collecting dust at my place.”
“You should be warned. I’m not an expert. Could be I’m underpricing some of it.” Why, oh, why did I feel a need to denigrate myself? I’d looked up the things online. Watched enough shows and studied enough books to feel I had a vague idea at least. I reminded myself that everyone had to start somewhere.
He shrugged. “Maybe you are. Doesn’t really matter since I’ll never know the difference. I’m just grateful you’re giving me a hand with it.”
The man was too damned nice. And he’d flown to my rescue.
“I really appreciate you coming to help me. How did you get here so quick?” Because he lived at least ten, fifteen minutes away.
“I was at the gas station when you called.”
“Oh.” How lucky and coincidental that both he and Jace were nearby at this time of night.
“You sounded pretty freaked out on the phone.”
“You mean panicked.” I laughed at my own expense. “My car wouldn’t start, and I thought I saw something in the alley. Then the lights went out and Grisou went to battle with a mouse.” I rubbed my forehead. “I think the superstition in this town is contagious.”
He laughed. “Or you’re just human. It’s normal to be scared of the dark and things that go bump in it.”
“I’m a grown woman. I should know better.”
“I’m a grown man who still puts milk and cookies out on Halloween for ghosties and goblins. Santa gets spiked nog and special brownies.”
“Now you’re making fun of me.”
“Never.” He put his hand over his heart. “Just saying we all have our quirks.”
“Yeah. Mine is being a coward.”
“Far from it.” He reached for my hands, and I didn’t realize how cold I was until his warmth penetrated. “You moved to another country, started a new life, are about to open a business. Sounds to me like you’re plenty brave.”
“A brave person wouldn’t have imagined monsters in the alley and invading her store.”
“You’ve been working hard. Maybe you should take a break.”
My lips pursed. “I can’t. Not yet. I have to get the shop running.”
“Well then, how about a good night’s sleep so things don’t feel so grim in the morning.”
“That sounds awesome. Do you think you can fix my car?”
“Maybe, and even if I can’t, I’ll make sure you get home safe. Keys?”
“Sure.” I unclipped the car keys from my set so I could lock up the shop.
Before I followed him into the alley, I collected my cat, snuggling Grisou close to murmur, “Good kitty, catching the bad mouse,” before putting him in the carrier. I couldn’t figure out how he kept escaping. I might need to get a piece of string for added security.
I took a deep breath of hesitation before exiting the shop. The alley light shone once more, making me wonder if the power problem extended farther than my store. Perhaps it was a supply issue to this block.
Darryl sat in my car, the engine running. The headlights added even more light to the alley.
“Thank you!” I exclaimed as I put my cat in the back.
“For what? All I did was turn the key.”
“And it started?”
“On the first crank.”
“You’re kidding. Dammit. It wouldn’t work at all when I tried. Just kept clicking like it was dead,” I grumbled, glaring at Betsy. The car had made me look even more the fool.
“I believe you,” he hastened to say. “While your car seems fine now, old cars can be finicky. If it’s having intermittent issues, you should have it checked out. I can take a look at it tomorrow if you’d like.”
“I’ve already imposed enough.” My manners meant I had to decline even as I wanted him to be the one helping.
“It’s not imposing if I’m offering.” He got out of the car, meaning he loomed over me.
I thought about stepping away; he was in my space. But at the same time, I kind of tingled. He’d not hesitated to come to my rescue. Chased off Jace like a jealous cock in a hen house.
“Then, in that case, I’ll drop it off at the gas station sometime tomorrow?” I could walk from there to the store if needed. It was only about a mile.
“Sounds good. I’m glad you thought of me when you were in trouble.”
“I—” Didn’t know what to say. That I liked knowing I could call him and he’d come. That he made me feel safe.
He looked down at me. I gazed up at him.
Our lips moved closer. Closer.
The light overhead glitched. The flicker and zing of power broke the spell.
I pulled away. “I should get home.”
“I’ll follow to make sure you get there safe.”
“You don’t have to.” A lie. With all the weird things happening to me lately, I didn’t mind at all.
What surprised me was he didn’t pull into my driveway. He’d stuck close to me the entire way, his truck behind a steadying presence that had me spending the whole drive home calling myself a ninny for once again ruining what might have been a kiss. Maybe it wasn’t too late.
I’d invite him in for a drink. Maybe with alcohol in it so I could muster the nerve to kiss him. A great plan. I practiced what I’d say over and over again.
Darryl, thanks so much. Want to come in for a drink?
Too prissy.
I’ll bet you’re thirsty. I’ve got something for that.
Too dirty?
Would inviting Darryl in make him think I was ready for more than just a kiss? Maybe instead I should thank him with a peck, something quick to break the ice and set things up for a next time.
My home neared, and I’d settled on inviting him in for coffee. Only the moment I turned into my laneway, he disappeared.
Disappointment flooded me. I’d been so sure he’d stop. Maybe even ask me if he could come in for a drink. It surprised me he’d not followed me right in and watched me go inside. It was what I used to do when I dropped my kids off places. I never left until they stepped through the door.
But they were kids, and I was a grown woman. I didn’t need a man watching over me. I’d been doing just fine on my own. Tonight, I’d had a little freak-out and been rescued, but what would have been the worst to happen if Jace hadn’t entered my store? Or if Darryl never showed up?
My cat would have caught the mouse. Probably grossed me out giving it to me as a treat.
The next time, if there was a next, I was going to remain calm. I would make sure I had the car in park and was turning the key correctly. I’d remember that mice were scared of me. And I’d ensure that not only did I keep a flashlight in my car, I’d have one in the store, along with a baseball bat.
I didn’t need a man. Not to take care of me at any rate, but it would be nice to have one for cuddling. Hugging myself just wasn’t the same.
I parked alongside Wendy’s vehicle and exited Betsy to see the cottage all lit up. Welcoming. Safe.
“We’re home,” I said to my cat, pulling his cage out of the car.
“Meow.”
I entered to find my daughter on the couch, dressed in her comfy clothes, cradling a bag of
chips and wearing a scowl.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, setting the cage on the floor and releasing my cat.
“Jude. He is pissing me off.”
“Oh. Did you guys have a fight?” I asked casually, heading to the kitchen to make myself a calming cup of tea. Here I’d hoped his abrupt departure had spelled an end to him.
“To fight he’d actually have to answer his phone. Or reply to a text. Something. The fucker is ghosting me.”
“What a jerk!” Said with perhaps more enthusiasm than it warranted, but I couldn’t deny I was glad he’d decided to move on.
“How dare he? He’s the one who ran off the other night. Men are scum!” she announced before shoving a handful of crunchy chips into her mouth.
I envied her. Used to be I ate away my sorrows, too. Now I had a piece of cheese to curb my hunger pangs and tea to soothe my nerves.
I curled up on the chair across from Winnie. “Forget that jerk. You are young and beautiful. You will find someone a hundred times better.”
She snorted. “That is such a mom thing to say.”
“It’s true!” I protested.
“No, it’s not. I’m fully aware my boobs are too small and my hips too wide.” Her lips turned down.
“Says who?” It shocked me to hear her complain about her body. Maybe she wasn’t as slim as those girls in magazines, but she appeared healthy and, in my eyes, perfect.
“I can see in the mirror.”
“Mirrors suck,” I found myself muttering.
“Only because they tell the truth.”
“Oh, Winnie.” I sat on the couch beside her and hugged her to me. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” she mumbled against me.
“For not teaching you how to love yourself.”
She shoved me away. “I love myself just fine.”
“Then you’re doing better than I am. I can hardly look at myself some mornings.” It wasn’t something I liked to admit, but this was my daughter. She needed to know she wasn’t alone. Because it helped me to know I wasn’t alone. It had never occurred to me that someone I loved, whom I thought beautiful, would have the same self-doubts.
“You’re gorgeous, Mom.”
“Ha. I also see myself in the mirror, Winnie. I’m old. And rundown.”
“You’re sophisticated. Aged to perfection.” Winnie kissed her fingers.
I snorted. “If aged means wrinkled and flabby in the wrong places, then yes.”
“You know, there is surgery for that. You should get a mommy makeover.”
“What is that?”
“Tummy tuck, boob job, a bit of lipo.”
I blinked. “Me?”
“Yeah you. Who do you think they’re made for?” Winnie rolled her eyes.
The very idea had me shaking my head. “No way. I am not letting someone slice me open and chop parts off.”
“Why? What are you afraid of?”
“Did you miss the part where they cut me open?”
“People have it done every day, Mom.”
“What if I’m the one where stuff goes wrong?”
“Why would you even assume something bad would happen?”
I almost opened my mouth to say, “that’s just my luck,” but for some reason, I heard a tiny violin playing in my head. Exactly how long would I keep having this pity party for myself? “I can’t afford it.”
“You got money from the divorce.”
“And used a bunch of it to buy the shop.”
“Which will be a huge success.”
Again, my lips parted, ready to drag my dream down, but I caught myself and instead said, “Yes, it will.”
Winnie didn’t hide her surprise that I’d agreed. She smiled. “And when that happens, you are going in for a nip and tuck. They’ll fix your belly and put your tits back up here, too.” Winnie cupped her breasts, and my cheeks flamed.
“It’s not that bad,” I lied. My nipples hadn’t pointed forward since my second pregnancy. The thought of not having to lift them into my bra intrigued me.
“I don’t think you’ll need a butt lift, though. Your ass looks pretty good.”
“Um, thanks. Now if we’re done talking about me, let’s go back to you. And the fact you’re awesome and can get any guy you’d like.”
“Except Jude.”
“Jude is an asshole.” I slapped a hand over my mouth the moment the expletive slipped from my lips.
Winnie’s eyes widened. “Mom!” She laughed. “Oh, my fucking God, you should see your face.”
“Winnie! Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.” I wasn’t religious per se, but I had a thing about swearing using the word God.
“Holy shit, you can be so rigid.”
“You know I’m not a fan of bad language.”
“Yeah, I do know. It’s why cursing around you is so much fun. And I will point out, you’ve gotten a bit more of a potty mouth lately since you left Dad.”
“Have not.” Yet she was right. I had. In the past, it was as if the more Martin went after me, the less I allowed my emotions to slip. But now that he was gone, I didn’t feel such a strong need to guard my words. I could say whatever the heck— Whatever the fuck I wanted.
“Okay, boomer.”
“You do know I’m too young to be a boomer.” I was proudly Generation X, the era with the best music, and epic hair.
“Whatever, Mom. Let’s just chalk up my swearing to another one of my character flaws. Along with my bitchy attitude.
“Who called you a bitch?” I exclaimed, ready to go to battle.
“No one. But I know people are thinking it. It’s because I’m bossy and I don’t take shit from anyone.”
“Nothing wrong with being assertive.”
“It is when you’re a woman. And you’re one to talk. You used to let Dad walk all over you.”
A harsh but valid point. “That’s the past. I’m changing. Have changed.”
“You have.” Winnie eyed me. “But you’re still not happy.”
I frowned and took a sip of tea before replying. “I’m not unhappy either.”
“But something is missing.”
She saw it. I felt it. Now if only I could figure out what I needed.
10
I spent the night in a restless state, tossing and turning, reliving in my nightmares that terrifying moment with the eyes. Then dying of shame as Jace and Darryl mocked me. Followed by a heated kiss that started with Darryl, sweet and tender, then morphed into Jace, hard and angry, and then, last of all, Kane. He took command of my lips but also demanded I give in return.
I woke wet.
Like soaked. Sheets and all. Not with pee, thank goodness. Sweat. It covered me, head to toe. Even my hair was lanky and damp.
I stripped everything, my pajamas, sheets, all of it, and jumped into a shower. The lukewarm water rinsed the ickiness away and left me fresh.
Was I sick? Had I overheated? For a brief second, the thought of menopause hit me. I wasn’t fifty, though. On the other side of forty yes, but still too young, surely?
Heading down for my morning coffee, I glanced around. Winnie’s door was closed, and her car still parked out front. She had the day off, meaning I could leave Grisou at home. That was probably best since I planned to drop off my car with Darryl and didn’t want to have to carry the cage to the shop.
Knowing I’d be seeing Darryl, I might have dressed a little more carefully than usual. The blouse, with its empire bust, flattered my chest and also covered the muffin that spilled over the top of my pants. I blow-dried my hair, brushing it as I did, trying to recreate the sleek layers the hairdresser managed. I didn’t quite get it right, but I looked decent enough.
Or so I convinced myself.
Betsy started at the first turn of the key and made it to the gas station without any trouble. Parking alongside the building in one of the few marked spots, I realized Darryl’s truck wasn’t there. He’d not come in to work yet, leaving me with a dilemm
a. Did I drive to the store or leave my car?
If I drove, would he think I’d rejected his offer? What if I left the car and it turned out he was too busy? Or hadn’t really meant it?
I needed to stop thinking people had hidden meanings when they spoke. Darryl offered. He wouldn’t have if he didn’t mean it.
Exiting my car, I marched to the store. Entering, I noticed he had hired a cute blonde woman to work behind the counter. Seeing her, I tried to not feel inadequate, but it was hard to ignore her youthful skin, her taut body, and, worst of all, her engaging smile.
“Hi, there. What can I help you with today?” she asked.
“Um. Darryl said he’d take a peek at my car.”
“The boss isn’t here.”
“I know. I was just going to leave these here for him.” I held up my keys.
“And you are?”
“Naomi.”
“Mmm-kay.” She tucked the key for Betsy behind the counter. “But I don’t know when he’ll be in. He was up real late last night.”
How would she know? Wait, had she spent the night with him?
Jealousy clawed at me, sudden and fierce. It was so unexpected, so new, that I had no reply other than, “Thanks. Gotta go.”
I practically ran out of there. I marched quickly along the side of the road, the brisk morning air filling my lungs. It didn’t take long at that pace to reach the small downtown strip. Rather than head to the shop, I went to the diner first. Forget fasting. I needed food. Heaps of it. I’d keep it low carb, though, so I didn’t get the bloat or guilt later.
I entered the diner and Marjorie waved. “Hey! Grab a spot anywhere you want. I’ll be over to see you in a second.”
Only a few people sat in the booths, plates of food in front of them. I chose a two-seater by the window. Marjorie came by shortly after with a cup of coffee and a bowl of creamers.
“What are you having for breakfast today?” she asked.
“Mushroom, bacon, and ham omelet.”
“With a side of bacon?”
Extra protein? “Yes, please.”
As she went off, she shouted the order to Orville in the kitchen. He popped his head out long enough to glance at me and nod.
Look at him getting all social. I waved back.