She gathered up his washing and put it back in his room. The green box, however, found a new home, in the back of the washing cupboard behind the mineral turpentine and fabric softener. She would keep it there until she had a chance to talk some sense into him. Knowing Jim as she did, she knew that it might take a while.
*****
The cleaning continued into the evening and the next morning, even after Jim returned from work there was still so much to do. His idea of ordering pizzas for dinner was a good one.
“My Hels, you are out to impress,” Jim stated as he took a cold slice of Meat-lovers for breakfast. His work clothes were scruffy from another night on the sofa. Helena had justified that her room was mid clean and was grateful for another comfy night’s sleep in his room.
“That’s not it, I just don’t want him to think I’m a pig.”
Jim cocked one eyebrow as he ate.
“Hey, I’m not a pig.”
Jim’s expression remained the same as he shovelled the rest of the slice of pizza into his mouth.
“And you can talk,” she argued.
“Hey, my room is the only clean area in this entire house.”
“Yeah exactly, what about the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom-”
“It’s okay. Look, I keep things reasonably tidy, you’re the one who lives like Oscar the Grouch. I bet this is the first time you’ve seen your bedroom floor since we moved in. I don’t see why you’re getting shitty with me.”
Helena sighed and dropped her pizza crust back into the box. “I’m just tired of it, we’re not kids anymore, Jim, but here we are, still living in this shithole. Things are changing. You’re changing.”
“What? You go on one date and suddenly you come back and think you know everything.”
“Hey, don’t bite my head off!” She was trying to be tactful, but he made it so hard. “I’m just speaking the truth.”
He stood up, his face reddening just as it had whenever he got mad as a kid. “Oh, you want the truth? The truth is you’re scared because for the first time you are actually trying and this is how it feels when you put yourself out there. I get that, don’t put your crap on me.”
“You’ve changed; you’re becoming such a jerk. You used to tell me everything, now it’s like drawing blood from a stone. I can’t remember the last time you called me. You think you’re too good for me now that you have Kelly.”
“What? I work, I have a girlfriend, I work. There, that’s my life. I would love to call you more but there’s never enough time.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s what it’s like being an adult. You have to sacrifice things all the time.”
“And you’ll sacrifice me?”
“Don’t be stupid, I just don’t have the time. It’s not like I mean to; the days just go. It’s not like you call me either. You’re too busy with Mr Perfect.”
“At least I still talk to you about things.”
“I’m talking to you right now.”
“No. You think you’re clever, but you’re not. I know something’s going on. So, what’s going on, Jim? Talk to me.”
He shook his head adamantly, “Dammit Hels, you always have to push things. You don’t care about the toll it takes. You are right, we’re not kids anymore. Just leave it alone.” Then he walked out.
She couldn’t resist yelling out at him, “Fine, I will, what do I care?” The only response she heard was the front door slamming shut.
*****
The atmosphere didn’t improve after Jim returned. They both cleaned until the house was as spotless as it would ever be, by which time Helena had no time to cook and instead got their local Chinese restaurant menu out. She showered and let the hot water take away her frustration. Bloody Jim, this was supposed to be her big night with Alex and now she could only worry about her best friend. Why was he so closed off these days? If he loved Kelly and wanted to marry her, that was fine, but his refusal to tell Helena about it, hurt. The only rationalisation she could come up with was that he knew she would try to talk him out of it which meant he knew it was a mistake. God, most boys would never marry if they had a choice. Up on the mine-site she knew hundreds like that, but here was Jim, running around and trying to marry someone who wasn’t right for him just because he wanted to play grownups. Stupid bugger.
She got out of the shower and looked at her clothes, wishing she had more than jeans and a T-shirt to wear. Her eyes flicked through the wardrobe until she spotted a dress she hadn’t worn for years. A sick dread filled her stomach. Surely this night should be exciting and fun, but all she knew was a nauseating detachment. It was all Jim’s fault.
A knock came at the front door before she had a chance to apply her make up. “Jim, are you going to get that?” she called out. She heard his sulky footsteps walk down the hallway in way of answer. It would be okay, it was only a dinner party, what could go wrong?
Chapter 7
Thoughts crashed, wave after wave of frustration and anxiety, smashing against his conscious mind. Every time he tried to be more positive, tried to move away from the darkness, worry and doubt would wash over him, pulling him down, drowning him in negativity until he knew he was lost, he was alone and the one person he cared about, really cared about, was giving up on him.
A knock on the door came before he could sit down. It didn’t matter if it was Kelly or this Alex character, he just wanted this night over, and then what? He didn’t know. He was starting to think the proposal was a huge mistake.
“Jim, are you going to get that?”
He didn’t bother responding. He had nothing left to say to Hels. No, that wasn’t true, he had plenty to say to her. But he would leave it alone. What did it matter?
He opened the door to the guy he supposed was Alex. He wasn’t quite the male supermodel Hels had built up in Jim’s imagination, but he was reasonable, he supposed. “Hi, you must be Alex. Come in.”
They shook hands. Jim noted his handshake was tight, but not strong.
“And you are?”
“Jim. Hels’ housemate.”
“Oh okay, she didn’t mention she had a male housemate.” Alex held up his six-pack of light beer, “Is there any room for these in the fridge?”
Jim, now very amused, took the beers. The thought of Hels with a bloke who drank light beer was pretty hilarious. She, who would usually question a bloke’s manhood if he drank light beer, had now found such a man. He wondered if this was another sign of her changing. Typical Hels… projecting all her crap onto him.
“So, you work up at the mine-site too?” Jim asked politely.
“Yeah, we work the same swing, she works days and I do nights. We only met because she did a double shift for my crew. I thought she would be quite different. She has a bit of a tough reputation at the mine.”
Jim laughed, “Really? I can’t imagine why.”
Alex didn’t laugh, his expression serious, “Me neither.”
Jim pulled himself in. Obviously, Alex lacked a funny bone and possibly was unable to detect sarcasm. Jim decided he didn’t want to alienate the taller man. An awkward silence fell over the two as Jim tried to think of something to say, knowing jokes wouldn’t be appreciated. Alex, for his part, looked around the inside of the house, his eyes shrewd. “Do you two own this house?”
“No, we just rent.”
Alex nodded, “Are you family then?”
“No, though Hels is practically my sister. I’ve known her since I was little. We were neighbours growing up.”
“So, you’re just friends?” Alex said, his eyebrows creasing as though this was somehow inappropriate.
“Most of the time,” Jim admitted and stopped himself adding ‘when she’s not being stupid and annoying’ but held off. Judging by the serious nature of Alex, he’d likely challenge Jim to a duel if he said anything bad about Hels. God, where did she find this guy?
Another knock came at the door and Jim’s heart gave an irregular palpitation. H
e pushed his nerves out of the way. It wasn’t like he was proposing tonight, not with Hels and the robot man there.
Kelly had come in still wearing her blue and gold team colours, her Eagles outfit was complete with scarf, hat and oversized jersey. Jim didn’t mind her lack of make-up or her boyish look with hair tied back out of sight. He didn’t mind that she didn’t kiss him upon arrival. He didn’t mind her blow-by-blow description of the game, or the way she went straight for the wine before turning on the TV to watch a replay of the game she had just watched live. He didn’t even mind when she ignored Alex completely after he admitted he didn’t follow football (actually, he found that part quite humorous). What he did mind was when she kicked off her dirty boots onto the carpet. The same carpet he and Hels had spent the last twenty-four hours cleaning. Jim told himself Kelly wouldn’t have realised what she was doing as she flung dirt and debris across the living room floor leaving a mark on the wall where her shoes ricocheted and fell to the floor. He remembered the hours of vacuuming the floor earlier and a spark of anger threatened to ignite in his already combustible state.
“Really?!” Jim blurted.
“Really what?” Kelly responded oblivious to his mood as she wasn’t used to seeing this side of him. He was about to introduce her to this more assertive part of his personality when he saw a strange girl with red hair in a sleek black dress step out of the hallway. She had blood red lips, her blue eyes sparkled, her hair was straightened reminding him of Detective Scully from the X-Files. All his anger dissipated and instead Jim was left feeling something else. He tried to figure out what it was, but it couldn’t be labelled. The girl smiled at him nervously, flashing her teeth and momentarily completing the transformation. She was beautiful. She was… Hels?
Chapter 8
Helena had imagined walking into the room, Alex looking on in amazement, Jim giving her a supportive wink and Kelly shooting a shocked look of open jealousy. But instead Alex was busy reading the Chinese menu barely glancing up, Kelly was yelling at the TV screen and only Jim watched her, his eyes wide, his mouth sufficiently dropped.
“Everything okay?” she asked him. Jim just looked at her as though he had been lobotomised. A shocked expression fixed upon his face.
“Yeah, don’t worry, we come back in the third quarter,” informed Kelly, still glued to the box.
Helena put a hand to Jim’s forehead, “You okay?” He did feel warm at the touch. His eyes refocused and his goofy face widened into a smile. He gently took her hand away and blinked, then nodded.
“Not bad,” he said finally. She felt something then, a strange jolt, it burned her insides and she looked away. No doubt she was just nervous. She turned to Alex, “Hi.”
He put the menu down and looked at her in concern, “Do you like noodles?”
Do you like noodles? Do you like fucking noodles!? Over a day of non-stop cleaning this dump to a liveable standard, ironing a dress, layering make-up on for half an hour, not to mention straightening her hair for God knew how long and all she got was, ‘Do you like noodles?’ She felt her cheeks burn a violent red and her eyes met Jim’s. That didn’t help.
“Whatever you want,” she said finally and tried to smile.
Alex shook his head, “No, that’s what they said too.” He went back to studying the menu. Helena stood in the centre of the room, suddenly aware of how stupid she looked. This so wasn’t her. She must look ridiculous. Alex was more interested in Chow Mein, Kelly looked like a football advertisement. Even Jim, while dressed smart, was just in jeans and a shirt, and here she was, dressed up to the nines for a night of football on the television and Chinese food in her own house. This was bad. So much for a dinner party. Why was she so determined to play grown-ups anyway? Helena stood stranded to the spot, her heels digging into the shaggy carpet. The lack of attention was paralysing, she didn’t move in case anyone noticed she was making such a fool of herself. Seconds passed, her breathing became shallow. She needed to move, needed to do something. Anything was better than standing there.
“Enough showing off, Hels,” Jim said distracting her. “You’re going to look great tomorrow night at the charity ball.”
His smile confused her, “Ball?”
He took her by the elbow and quickly walked her out of the room, already the heels hurt her feet. He added, “Sorry, you look like you were about to cry.”
“What?” She tried to sound outraged, but instead took a large sniff and felt her eyes stinging as tears began to escape. “Oh, shit.”
Jim was quick to hand her a tissue and sat her on his bed.
“Hey, hey,” Jim consoled, a warm arm wrapping around her shoulder.
“Do you like noodles?” she repeated to herself and rested her head on Jim’s surprisingly comfortable shoulder.
*****
Wearing jeans and a T-shirt Helena re-entered the evening’s proceedings feeling a little more relaxed. The dinner order was placed to everyone’s great relief—noodles had been agreed upon. She wondered what Jim made of Alex’s serious demeanour when he had gathered them together, threatening to turn off the TV if Kelly didn’t pay attention, then ran off what he hoped to be an acceptable order of Chinese food. “Spring rolls, sweet and sour pork, satay combination, Singapore noodles, mixed vegetables, lemon chicken and prawn crackers.” There was all round nodding then Jim asked, “How many spring rolls?”
“It says three per serve,” read Alex.
“Well, that doesn’t work being there’s four of us,” Jim pointed out. “Okay, we could get two lots of spring rolls?” suggested Alex.
“But then we get six how do we decide who gets two and who gets one?” Jim’s serious expression matched Alex’s consternation, except that his eyes had a twinkle that Helena knew all too well.
“Shall we just get four serves then? That’s twelve spring rolls and we each get three,” Alex reasoned.
Jim nodded then sent Helena a quick wink before innocently asking, “You don’t think that’s too much?” The ridiculousness of them both made Helena stifle a laugh that ended up sounding like a pig snorting. She buried her head in her hands trying her best not to let the hysterical giggle explode out of her as Alex and Jim pondered the spring roll dilemma further.
Alex was relentless, “But if we get three serves, then some of us will get two and some of us will get three. How about we all use our fingers show me how many spring rolls you would like?” After several more minutes of deliberating it was decided that two serves would in fact be enough.
After the food was delivered and they had all eaten too much, they began drinking. The football replay had finally finished and the evening took a more casual tone. Alex slowly worked his way through his light beers while Jim plundered his carton in the fridge. Helena and Kelly shared an open bottle of SSB and had begun their second when the conversation took a turn towards the more risqué.
It started innocently enough. “So, you two have been friends since being little kids?” Alex asked. He seemed to find the thought of the male and female friendship unnatural. “And you were never boyfriend-girlfriend?”
Jim shook his head and Helena was quick to respond. “Oh, God no! Never.”
“You two never played doctors and nurses?” Kelly asked, her curiosity piqued.
Jim’s response was instant, “If we did, I’m sure she would have been the doctor and I would have been the nurse.”
Alex raised his eyebrows in surprise, unable to pick up on Jim’s self-deprecating humour.
“We never played doctors and nurses,” Helena clarified.
“What about spin the bottle?” Kelly wouldn’t be deterred.
“God, no!” Helena hoped her burning cheeks weren’t as obvious as they felt.
“Actually, we did play truth or dare once or twice,” Jim admitted.
“Yeah, and you ate dog food,” she reminded him. Alex finally found a sense of humour and thought this was hilarious. He barked a deep laugh and Kelly chuckled.
“What did
you make her do?” she asked.
Jim shook his head. “Nothing, I think I ‘truthed’ her.”
“Oh, and what did you ask?” Alex was most curious.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember,” Jim admitted.
Helena, however, remembered perfectly. She recalled that day. They were maybe ten or eleven, sitting across from each other on his bedroom on the floor. She spoke before she could stop herself, “He asked me who I liked.”
Kelly punched Jim on the arm. “Even as a kid you had a one-track mind.”
“Hey, we were kids. What else is there to talk about?”
“So,” Alex persisted. “Who did you like?”
Helena saw something flash across Jim’s face then, maybe a memory. His smile receded slightly and he looked at her. “My older brother, Kyle.” Alex and Kelly both laughed. Helena was lost in memories. She had never liked Kyle. Had she said that, all those years ago? Maybe, but why?
“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” Kelly said picking up the empty wine bottle. Alex clapped his hands while Jim went suddenly pale and Helena understood, her own smile failing.
*****
It was ridiculous. Four people in their mid-twenties sitting around in a circle with a spinning wine bottle between them. With every rotation of the glass bottle, Helena felt her stomach tightening, until eventually the top of the bottle came to rest in front of Kelly.
Kelly laughed as if this was funny, as though it was nothing, like it didn’t matter. Maybe it didn’t. But it did to Helena. Kelly was going to kiss either Alex—her potential boyfriend, the boy she had agonised about for the past couple of days—or she might kiss Jim.
Helena couldn’t understand her strong opposition to the idea of Kelly and Jim kissing in front of her; despite their ongoing relationship and despite the fact that she’d seen them kiss before, tonight it just felt wrong, somehow obscene.
Kelly looked at Alex, then Jim. She gave a throaty laugh, then spun the bottle. Helena held her breath. Alex, Jim, Alex, Jim. It revolved around and around. Alex’s eyebrows rose each time the bottle passed him, while Jim watched the bottle as though it were a noose about to be placed around his neck. Maybe he felt the same, Helena thought, maybe he felt this whole thing was stupid too. Jim’s eyes flicked up to Helena as the bottle finished its spin. They both seemed to be holding their breath.
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