Diane knew about Tracy.
Tracy rubbed her back. "Thank you, Diane. You know we'll always be there for you as well."
They started walking out of the room. "Tonight is going to be so much fun!' Tracy said.
Yeah, right.
It seemed that we were nearly the last people to arrive at Amy's. We had to park around the block.
The three of us linked arms as we rang the doorbell. We heard the noise die down from inside as Amy opened the door wearing a beautiful red knee-length dress.
"Welcome." She stepped aside so we could see everybody gathered inside the living room and spilling into the adjacent kitchen.
"Happy Holidays!" everybody said at once and started applauding.
"Wow, you guys must be sick of that by now," Tracy said.
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It took the three of us a while to figure out that this was for us. All of the members of the Club were on their feet cheering for us. I spotted Ryan, Tyson, and Tracy's brother over in the corner doing the same thing.
"What's going on?" Diane asked Amy.
"We just wanted to give you three the welcome you deserve." She ushered us in and took our coats.
The cheering died down, but we realized that everybody was looking in our direction with smiles on their faces. I looked over at Jen and Morgan to see if I could get a hint from them, Both of them just smiled at me.
"So," Amy said to the crowd, "we all just wanted to let the three of you know how much you have meant to all of us."
Tracy grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I guess she was right after all. the three of us had really created something here. Something positive, something worth doing. Regardless of what any of the other guys in school, or Braddock, thought.
"We just wanted to give you something to say thanks." Amy grabbed three presents from under the Christmas tree by the bay window.
"Jen and I were reminiscing about the first time we joined the Club and everything we were talking about. Little did we know back then that under the tree in front of school, something this big was starting." Amy gestured toward the packed room.
Diane, Tracy, and I unwrapped our presents, but I was starting to get nervous as I heard giggling in the room. I
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fumbled with the wrapping, so Tracy was the first person to open her box.
"It's brilliant!" she exclaimed. I looked over and saw her hold up a white T-shirt with pink three-quarter-length sleeves. She showed me the shirt and on the front it said LHC and on the back LARSON.
I started laughing as Amy continued. "Well, we all figured it was time we finally got T-shirts." Everybody in the room held up matching T-shirts. "Now, what do you think Principal Braddock would do if we all walked into school the first day back wearing them?"
"Hey, I don't want to be responsible for putting a man in the hospital." Tracy went over to the table that had the drinks on it, grabbed three glasses of apple cider, and handed one each to Diane and me.
"Penny, I think we should do a toast," she said to me.
I raised my glass. "To the Lonely Hearts Club!"
Everybody in the room raised their glasses. "The Lonely Hearts Club!"
"And," Tracy continued, "to all of the people who have supported us," She motioned to the corner in the room that held her brother, Tyson, and Ryan, and then looked back at me. She grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's socialize."
We made the rounds and said thanks and Happy Holidays to everybody. All of the members were in high spirits and looked amazing. I couldn't have imagined my life without them.
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"Hey, let's go over there." Tracy started dragging me over to the corner where Ryan was talking to Mike and Michelle.
Please, I didn't want to be the conduit for the two of them. I'd rather not be there to witness it. I didn't think my heart could take it,
"Happy Holidays!' Tracy said. She pushed me so hard I accidentally fell into Ryan.
"Whoa there, what's in your glass?" He nodded toward my apple cider.
I blushed, suddenly full of all this nervous energy inside me. it was probably from the all the excitement of the evening. Or the twelve pieces of fudge I ate.
"So we did it. We survived." Ryan clinked his glass against mine.
I smiled. I didn't say anything, waiting for Tracy to jump right in and start working her charm on Ryan. I turned to Tracy and noticed she was gone. Michael and Michelle were gone, too. it was just me and Ryan.
"Hey, there." He put his hand on the small of my back. "Everything okay? Did your brain implode from all the exams?" He started to play with my hair.
I slapped his hand away. "Careful, this takes a really long time to do, you know. Especially with a big ol' dent in my head."
He started laughing. "Oh, okay."
I smirked. "Let's see how you like it," I reached up and did what I had always wanted to do. Tousle his hair. And it was as soft as I had always imagined it.
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I let out a huge laugh. I noticed that everybody was staring, then quickly looked away the second I looked over.
Right. I shouldn't have been doing that with the guy Tracy had a crush on.
I moved away from Ryan so we were no longer touching.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so self-conscious. Everybody knew that we were friends. I was sure I was imagining it.
But just to be safe, I took another step back.
I couldn't believe how much I ate, but I figured I might as well have one last piece of fudge. I popped the last piece on the plate into my mouth as I started clearing the table. the party was starting to wind down and there were only about a dozen people left. I had taken off my boots when I started to gather all of the trash that was lying around.
Tracy came over, linked her elbow with mine, and brought me toward the front hallway. "Good lord," she said. "I thought that if I invited him you would finally do something, but I guess not. You can be so frustrating sometimes,"
What?
"Just go out with him already, you're driving me crazy!"
What?
I just stared at her. Tracy groaned, "Pen, I've been your best friend for years. Do you think I didn't know what was going on with you and Ryan?"
What?
"Listen, Penny -- I know you've been worried about
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dating with the Club. But the rules have changed, remember? Stop denying yourself!' She started to smile, "Plus, you're really annoying when you have to hide your feelings, so just go in there and ask him out."
"Wait." I was in shock. "You invited Ryan for me?"
Tracy groaned. "Of course I did J Why else would I?"
Holy crap.
I started shaking my head. "I can't. .."
Oh God.
I looked over and saw Ryan talking to Morgan and Tyson. I had never asked out anybody in my life, and what if he said no?
"He's not going to say no!'
How did she . . . ?
"Well, what about Diane?" I asked, hoping that I could put this off for a few more days or months or years.
"Were you not paying attention to what she said earlier?"
I looked at Tracy in disbelief.
"She was talking to me.. ."
"Seriously, Penny. Diane and I have already discussed this --"
"Watt a second, you and Diane have discussed this?"
"Pen, the guy only sang to you in front of the whole school. it's pretty much the only thing the Lonely Hearts Club talks about when you're not around."
Great, the Club knows. So people really were staring.' I was so embarrassed. this couldn't have been happening.
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"Plus, you and Ryan are Diane's closest friends. She wants you both to be happy!'
"Well, I should talk to her first. .."
Tracy smiled. "She already left. She didn't want to make you more uncomfortable. She wanted me to tell you to call her tomorrow so you can plan your outfit for your date."
Diane had left. But... But...
Tracy just shook her head, "Sometimes I really wonder about you. Go for it, girl."
Before I could even catch my breath, Tracy yelled out, "Hey, Ryan, do you have a second?"
Oh. My. God. Not now, I can't do this right now.
Ryan excused himself and walked over, seeming a little confused.
"What's up, Tracy?"
Tracy just smiled and pulled Ryan over so he was standing directly in front of me, "I don't have enough room in my car -- can you give Penny a ride home?"
"Of course," he said.
"Great! Especially since Penny needs to ask you something." Tracy turned her back and started to walk away.
I was completely horrified.
"Oh, and one more thing." Tracy turned around and pointed above us. "You're standing under the mistletoe. 'Bye!"
Both Ryan and I looked up and saw mistletoe directly above us.
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I looked back and saw Tracy scooting the few remaining people into the kitchen.
I was going to kill her.
I turned back and flinched as I found Ryan leaning in to kiss me.
He saw my reaction and stepped back. "Sorry, it's just... a holiday tradition." He pointed above our heads. "I guess I shouldn't have." He stepped farther away.
"No, no, it's okay I just.. ."
How was I supposed to do this?
"You had something you wanted to ask me?" He folded his arms, a look of amusement flickering across his face.
"Um, yes. See . . ."
I was hopeless.
"So, funny story . .." Here goes, you can do this. "It seems that things have changed a bit for the Club,"
"Did I miss something? Did they kick you out?"
"Ha, not yet." I took a deep breath. "Well, you know we couldn't, um ... we didn't..."
Ryan straightened up and his smile faded a bit. "You can't have a boyfriend."
"Well, yeah. But we've decided that maybe that wasn't very fair for people, . . ."
"I see. And now?"
I started to shift back and forth. Why would Tracy do this to me? I wasn't prepared for this at all.
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"Now . . . I'd like to . .. try to .. ." I hadn't given guys enough credit all these years -- this was torture.
"Penny, would you like to go on a date with me?"
Wow, that was easy.
Thankfully Ryan could take a hint.
"Yes, that would be great."
We smiled at each other, and he stepped forward and put his arm around my waist. Then I realized something.
"Watt! We can't go out on Saturday nights. Those nights are for the Club "
"No worries. There are six other days in the week."
He was making this way too easy. Maybe this dating thing wasn't going to be so hard after all.
"Oh! And I eat lunch with my friends, and if you want to do something, you have to give me advance notice because I will not change plans with any of my friends just because you come calling."
Ryan nodded. "Okay, anything else?"
"Umm, well, I'll have to look over the new rules. I just want to make sure --"
Ryan grabbed my hand and leaned in. "Penny, I'm not going to take you away from your friends. Do you think we can go on a few dates first before we start making too many rules for us?"
I blushed. I needed to take it down a notch before I started making decisions about our china pattern.
"We can do that."
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"All right. Let's go say good-bye to everybody and I'll take you home!
He started to head to the kitchen.
"Wait!" I called after him. I pointed at the mistletoe that was still over my head. "It would be wrong to break a holiday tradition."
Ryan smiled at me and walked over to where I stood. My heart was beating fast as he cradled my head with his hands. He leaned in, but instead of freezing or running away, I leaned in toward him as he kissed me.
We pulled our lips away and he hovered an inch from my face. "I've been waiting all year to do that!' he told me. "What took you so long?" I asked him. "Do I really need to remind you?" We both smiled. As we walked into the kitchen, the entire room went silent. it wasn't hard to figure out what they were talking about. As we said good-bye to everybody, Tracy came over to give me a hug. "So. . ." She studied my face and I was sure she could tell what had happened.
Tracy bit her lip and tried to hide her smile. I started giggling. I was happy my friend was so supportive of me. Ryan walked over and held my coat open for me.
"Hey, Tracy, thanks for inviting me," he said to her. Tracy jumped up and gave Ryan a huge hug. "thank you! As we walked out, she mouthed, "Call me.'"
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Here Comes the sun
"Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter..."
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chapter thirty eight
THE WINTER AIR GAVE ME A shock as we left Amy's house. I started to shiver as we walked to Ryan's car and he put his arm around me.
I suddenly didn't feel cold anymore,
Ryan opened the door for me to get in. I sat down and put my seat belt on as Ryan got in the other side. He turned on his engine and his stereo started blaring. He started to blush.
"Nice CD," I commented.
"Thanks, I really like it"
"Me, too!' I said, no longer talking about the music.
I leaned back in the passenger seat and laid my head on the headrest. it had taken us a while, but we were finally here.
I reached over and turned up the volume and sang along to the last song on the CD I had made him.
Because even though it was the middle of the night, I could still sing "Here Comes the Sun" and mean every word, every emotion.
Especially the part about it being all right.
It was more than all right.
It was perfect.
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Acknowledgments
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There are numerous people to whom I owe a huge debt of gratitude for their help with this book.
First and foremost, my brilliant editor, David Levithan, for his guidance, patience, and support. I am extremely lucky to have my book in such great hands. And I really didn't mean it about guys with names with D being the devil.
My wonderful agent, Jodi Reamer, who spent years getting me to this point. I am truly thankful for everything that you have done for me. You were right, you were right, you were right (and you now have that in writing to taunt me with).
thanks to everybody at Scholastic who has worked so hard on this book. Special thanks to Karen Brooks for her copyedit expertise and Becky Terhune for the most adorbs cover and book design an author could hope for.
My dear friend Stephenie Meyer for being my biggest cheerleader, especially when I needed it the most. Your enthusiasm for this book has meant the world to me and I am so grateful for all your positive advice and support. I owe you one. Oh, watt. . .
I had wonderful readers throughout these many drafts who provided me with invaluable feedback: Anamika Bhatnagar, my first reader (I still cringe when I think back on that first
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draft -- sorry about that); (the real) Jennifer Leonard; Heidi Shannon; Tina McIntyre; Natalie thrasher; Genevieve Gagne-Hawes; and Bethany Strout,
My friends and the loser tools we've dated, who have provided me with many ideas for the Lonely Hearts Club, Especially Alexis Burling, who lent me her "Roses are red . ." story, and Tara McWilliams Coombs, who worked her styling magic for my author photo. May we all find the one who is worth it.
And, of course, John, Paul, George, and Ringo, my constant inspiration from the very beginning.
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About the Author
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Elisabeth Eulbery wa
s born and raised in Wisconsin before heading off to college in Syracuse and making a career in the New York City book biz. She lives outside of Manhattan with her three guitars, two keyboards, and one drumstick. in researching this book, she tried swearing off boys forever. it didn't work.
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The Lonely Hearts Club Page 19