Copyright © 2021 Victoria McFarlane
All rights reserved
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
ASIN: B08P22Z45D
ISBN: 9798705997572
“You don't find love, it finds you.
It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate and what's written in the stars.”
- Anaïs Nin
FLETCHER
Boys of HGU
Book one
Contents
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-one
Twenty-two
Twenty-three
Twenty-four
Twenty-five
Twenty-six
Twenty-seven
Twenty-eight
Twenty-nine
Thirty
Thirty-one
Thirty-two
Thirty-three
Thirty-four
Thirty-five
Thirty-six
Thirty-seven
Thirty-eight
Thirty-nine
Forty
Epilogue
One
“I saw your girl today,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper, “she looked good. Better.”
Silence greets me. I don’t know if I expect something else, maybe a sign that he’s listening, something that tells me I’m not completely alone here. I suppose it’s wishful thinking that I’d hear something, see something, but no matter how much time passes, how life goes on, it never gets easier.
They say it does, that time is a healer, but I’ve yet to experience it.
It’s been three years since that night. Three years since everything I knew, everything I believed in was shattered. Destroyed. Taken away from me.
I almost feel guilty that my life is still going forward whilst Tyler’s is stagnant.
The early November wind sends a chill down my spine, the earth where I sit getting colder with each minute that passes.
It wasn’t uncommon for me to spend hours here, especially when I feel stuck myself. Some days I feel good, some days the pain that’s been sitting on my chest, ever present for the past three years seems lighter, but then I wake up the next day, guilty for letting myself forget.
It was a fucked-up situation. I was fucked up.
My molars grind as I push the thoughts away, my fists balling up tight until my nails bite into my palms.
I could handle a lot of shit. I get my ass beat every day on the field, I had two hundred pound guys pummeling me, throwing me down hard, I can run and train for hours at a time, academically, I study my ass off until the early hours, whilst everyone around me sleeps and I still get up at the crack of dawn every day to hit the gym and yet, I couldn’t handle this.
Not that I’d ever admit it.
I’m the fucking captain. People look to me for guidance, for strategy, for advice, what the hell would they think if they knew I couldn’t handle my own shit.
Feeling the frustrations pushing through my body, tensing up my muscles and making my heart pound harder, I push up from the ground and walk from the gardens, not once looking back.
Once safely back in the truck I gun it back to campus, my music loud, loud enough to drown out the screaming inside my head. The closer I get to the city of Hillgrove, Colorado, the more civilization comes back to me, people mill down the sidewalks and cars pass by on the other side of the road reminding me that the world keeps spinning, life goes on and people move on.
My phone buzzes from where it’s positioned in the cup holder, Decker’s name lighting up the screen. Probably wondering where I am seeing as training starts in less than an hour and I’m usually there already, running circles or tossing the ball.
I must clear my head before I head back to the boys, if they sense where my thoughts have been, I’ll never hear the end of it.
I get it, they worry about me, we’ve known each other since we were kids, roughing it up in the local park and we have a bond most people don’t get to experience but they wouldn’t understand.
They lost a friend that night. I lost way more than that.
As if the universe is taunting me, I have to stop at a crossing heading into campus only to come face to face with the girl that’s haunted me for so long now, I’ve forgotten when it started.
Peyton McKenna watches me through the wind shield, her blue eyes holding mine. The corners of her lips turn up an inch, the closest thing I’d get to a smile from her, and she lifts her hand in greeting. As far as communication between the two of us goes, that’s about all we’re good at now.
Like I said, I lost way more that night than anyone else.
My chest squeezes as I watch her walk across the road, her eyes on the ground, hands tucked around the straps of her backpack.
It never used to be this way between us, we were close, closer than we probably should have been once upon a time and it’s my fault there’s this chasm between us. But I can’t bare being close to her.
It’s a reminder.
Torture beyond what anyone would be able to survive and I’m no sucker for punishment of that degree.
She’s not alone though and I can take comfort in that, she has the boys, both Decker and Colt. They love her like a little sister and whilst I can’t be there for her, they can be and that’s enough. That’s enough.
If I tell myself that, maybe she won’t haunt my dreams so much.
With a sigh, I press my foot back on the gas once she’s safely on the sidewalk and head back to the house we rent just outside of campus. I’d have to be quick getting ready for training if I wanted to get in some time before the rest of the team head in. When I pull into the drive Colt’s car is parked in front of the garage. I park my truck behind his and throw the door open, heading up to the porch.
Inside, music blares from the entertainment system in the living room, some old school rock which tells me Decker has control of the music today. The clattering in the kitchen sends me in the opposite direction. Just a few minutes to sort my shit out and then I could deal with my friends.
I’m half way up the stairs when Colt’s voice stops me.
“Fletch,” his voice is stern as if he knows I’m trying to avoid them, “where you been?”
He definitely knows.
It’s been a few weeks since I had been back there to visit Tyler and it had been building, my frustrations, my temper, my patience waning with each day I didn’t go and they’ve known me long enough to know I needed to go. But they also knew my head wouldn’t be straight for at least a few days after.
I didn’t like to think I was a creature of habit but apparently, I was. I just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me wallow for the time I needed to.
“Out,” I growl out, my hand squeezing the banister.
“Where?”
My nostrils flare, “Does it matter?”
“Talk, Fletcher,” Colt demands. The music shuts off and Decker’s loud footsteps sound as he joins Colt at the
bottom of the stairs.
“What, you wanna talk about feelings or shit?” I snap, internally wincing at my tone, “ain’t got time for that today, boys.”
“Your mom called,” Decker tells me, freezing me in spot. “Said she hasn’t heard from you in a few days. She’s worried.”
“I don’t have time for this, we have training.” I finally say, “If you’re not ready by the time I am, I’ll leave without you.”
I don’t give them a chance to respond, taking the rest of the stairs two at a time before stomping down the hall and slamming my bedroom door closed.
Training was going to be tough today.
Not for me. For everyone else.
With no time to get this out of my system, the boys on the field are going to be feeling it tomorrow.
I grab my gear from the folded pile near my desk and shove it into my bag, slinging the thing over my shoulder and heading back down. Much to my dismay, both Deck and Colt are waiting by the door, their matching HGU bags over their shoulders. Decker smiles smugly whilst Colt just raises a brow that says, we’re talking about this, fucker, whether you like it or not.
I scoff inwardly. As if.
I’ve gone three years without talking about it and I wasn’t about to start now.
I ignore them as I head out to the truck and throw my bag into the back before climbing back behind the wheel. My music starts off exactly where I left it, loud guitars and even louder lyrics, leaving no room for talk. I feel their eyes on me as we head to the field, waiting for an opening to pounce but I don’t give an inch.
Not today.
Not ever.
_
My promise of taking my frustrations out on the team weren’t empty and by the loud moans and whining coming from the locker rooms they would definitely be feeling it tomorrow. Good. They were getting slack the closer we were getting to Thanksgiving and Winter break as if we didn’t have two more games before the season was over. Hillgrove University had only lost one game this season and I wasn’t going to let that number increase.
Football was my life. It was going to get me out of this city, far away from the memories, hopefully to the other side of the country. I would have left a long time ago, transferred to another college if this goddamned guilt had let me. Shit, I would have entered the draft last year if I hadn’t matched up my schedule to Tyler’s. This would have been the year he would have entered the draft had he still been able to play.
I don’t know why I think the guilt would let me leave even when I’m done here, but I had another six months to figure that out. I knew there were scouts coming to the next few games, and there was talk about the Denver team, but I needed further than that. Like a thousand miles further.
It’s funny to think that Tyler and I used to dream about playing for the Denver team, the same team we’ve supported since we were kids and old enough to understand the game and now look at me, begging for another team to notice me. He’d be furious. Livid even.
I shower for longer than necessary, long enough for the locker rooms to clear out, only when I come out, hoping for silence and isolation, both Colt and Decker are sat in front of my locker.
“Here to watch the show?” I grind out, using the extra towel around my shoulders to dry the excess water dripping from my hair.
“Please,” Decker scoffs, “No one needs to see that. You’re really letting yourself go.”
I scoff, “You weren’t saying that when you were trying to match my weight in the gym a few days ago.”
Banter I could deal with. It’s safe.
“Nah man,” Deck stands, “I was just saying that to make your pansy ass feel better.”
“We’re going for drinks, you coming?” Colt asks.
I eye him skeptically, “If you’re inviting me to talk about shit then no.”
Colt holds his hands up, “Nah, bro, just drinks, it’s the weekend and we haven’t been out for ages. It’s needed.”
My eyes narrow but ultimately, he’s right. I may be an asshole, but these guys had always had my back and we hadn’t spent as much time together recently, “sure.”
“Leave the truck, we’ll get an uber. Meet us out front when you’re ready.”
Once they’ve left, I dry off and dress in my jeans and plain black tee, tugging on my jacket and boots before heading out front. The uber is already waiting so I jog over to the truck and chuck my bag inside before joining the guys in the car.
“Where we headed?” I ask, pulling my phone from my pocket.
“Chucks,” Colt answers.
Yeah, this was a bad idea after all.
Two
You could tell Thanksgiving break was close, the students here at HGU seem to start their breaks at least two weeks before the break was actually due to start and tonight was no different.
Busy was always my preference anyway and with my bright fire engine red apron tied around my waist, I head out into the rowdy crowd of the bar, collecting the numerous empties that are lining every surface of this place. As one of the only bars that plays sports on campus we were always busy with the sports teams of Hillgrove University, it was mainly the football team and the cheerleaders that tow along behind them and because they draw a crowd wherever they go it was not often we saw a quiet night, though it was usually quieter than this.
There was a game playing on the several TVs hanging on the walls, but it was silent with music playing over the top, telling me it’s a repeat rather than a live game. God forbid we played music over an actual game.
As I’m heading back behind the bar with a tray full of empty glasses the front door opens, a blast of icy air swooping through the bar and a smile cracks my face as Decker and Colt stroll through. I quickly deposit the glasses at the dishwasher.
“Going on my break!” I yell to Daisy, the manager on shift tonight.
I untie my apron and hurry back out to the main section, hoping I’ll catch them before the cheerleaders spot them. I’m in luck as I find them waiting to be served.
Colt spots me first and grins, opening his arms to catch me as I throw myself at him.
His huge arms swallow me, and I’m squashed against his beefy chest. Before I can really hug him back I’m grabbed from behind and bear hugged by Decker. The air leaves my lungs and I swat his arms to let me go.
“Can’t breathe!” I wheeze, “Let me go!”
He chuckles and drops me, spinning me around until his boyishly handsome face and perfectly styled hair comes into view, “How’s my favourite girl?” He asks.
I roll my eyes, “I’m your only girl so it doesn’t count.”
He laughs, “Don’t let Savannah hear you say that but with you two it’s enough, and that’s how it’s going to stay. No time for relationships.”
Colt throws his arm around my shoulder but before I can speak the door opens and the third person who makes up their little group steps into the bar. My throat closes up on itself, my stomach cramping at the sight of him.
Fletcher Dallas.
In all his muscled, brooding glory. Dark hair, messy in that sexy, don’t give a hell kind of way, and thick scruff covering his sharp jaw. The lights in the bar cause the hollows of his cheeks to look deeper, his cheekbones higher. His dark brows are furrowed into a frown, the flecks of green and gold in his eyes catching in the light.
If Colt or Decker notice my sudden stiffness, they don’t mention it as they order three beers from Nadia who flushes pink at the sight of the burly football players. My eyes however never leave Fletcher and apparently, he’s watching me too, his hazel eyes boring into mine.
Once upon a time we were friends.
Once upon a time he didn’t hate me.
Now however, in present day, he couldn’t stand me.
I’d tried, fucking hard, to build whatever bridge needed to be built but it crashed and burned every time and now we were no more than strangers.
Funny how that works.
Did I blame him really?
I
was the reason Tyler wasn’t around anymore. If it hadn’t been for me, he would never have been in –
“Where’d your head just go?” Colt’s staring down at me now, concern etched into his icy blue eyes.
I shake my head, breaking eye contact with Fletcher and force a smile, “Sorry, I was just thinking about how much studying I have to do!”
Colt narrows his eyes but doesn’t call me out on the lie.
I feel the moment Fletcher reaches our group, I feel it in the way the air sizzles and the warmth of him presses into the side of my body.
This is the closest we’ve been in three years. Whenever Colt and Deck are here, Fletch either stays behind at the table or isn’t here at all and if I’m over at their place he’s locked away in his room or at the gym.
Even after the accident, I didn’t see him, not until I came to HGU a few months later. Fletcher was in his freshman year of college when it happened, but he was always around, at home on the weekends, meeting us for dinner during the week. It was mine and Tyler’s senior year of Highschool. We were a few weeks from graduation, so close to joining the guys at Hillgrove University and having the group back together again but then everything changed.
My stomach churns as the memories swarm to the surface, that phone call, the hours after, the impending sense of doom that followed me around for months.
When I came for orientation the August following the accident, Colt and Decker had been waiting for me. Like they promised. Fletcher however watched me from his truck across the lot, his arms folded across his chest.
He was softer then, he was always built like a wall, broad shoulders and thick muscles but he was open. He smiled. But he didn’t smile that day. It was the first time I realised the boy I grew up with was gone and in his place was a man who no longer loved me. It was the first time I realised he blamed me for what happened.
He didn’t speak to me, only watched me as I walked with the guys to my dorm and they helped me settle in. and it’s been that way ever since.
He didn’t outright ignore me, he just made it impossible to talk to him. So now whenever I see him, I simply wave and leave it at that. I wouldn’t close myself off from him, if he ever wanted to build something again, I’d be waiting.
Fletcher( Boys of HGU #1) Page 1