She looked up at me, tears in her eyes again and I felt like shit. I sat back in my chair and ran a hand through my hair.
‘Do you want a cup of peppermint tea?’ I asked her, desperate to do something useful for her. The peppermint was one of the few things that eased her nausea.
‘Yeah, okay,’ she nodded.
I walked over to the cabinet where Sebastian kept the tea, but when I opened it there were none in there. ‘Where’s the teabags?’
‘Oh, my dad moved them,’ Samantha replied as she stood up. ‘He didn’t want me stretching for them,’ she said with a roll of her eyes. ‘He’s even worse than you for wrapping me in cotton wool.’
I smiled at her. I was glad that he was looking after her while I couldn’t. She opened a low cupboard and took out the box of peppermint tea. Her fingers brushed mine as she handed it to me, but she didn’t flinch this time. I stepped closer to her and heard her breath catch in her throat. I placed my hand on her arm and she looked up at me, her pupils dilated and her skin flushed pink.
‘Sam,’ I breathed.
‘Don’t, Gabe,’ she shook her head but she didn’t pull back from me. I took my chance and slipped my other arm around her waist, pulling her closer to me. She buried her head in my chest and I buried my face in her hair. She smelled so fucking good. I felt my dick twitching to life and cursed the fact that she made me constantly hard.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said against her hair.
She nodded and I felt her hot tears on my shirt. I cupped her chin, tilting her face up towards mine. I brushed the tears from her cheek with the pad of my thumb. It broke my heart to see her crying, especially knowing that I was the cause.
‘Please tell me what I can do to make this better, Sam. I hate seeing you like this. I hate not being with you.’
She shook her head. ‘There’s nothing you can do, Gabe,’ she sniffed. ‘I wish there was.’
I swallowed and had to fight my instinct to lift her onto the kitchen counter and slide my fingers and my cock inside her.
‘I need you, Sam.’
She stepped back from me. ‘You don’t need me. You want me. That’s different.’
The muscles in my jaw tensed. ‘Don’t tell me what I need, Sam. You have no idea what it’s like …’
‘Oh, really? I don’t? Tell me then, Gabe. Tell me how hard this is for you,’ she glared at me.
‘Okay,’ I snarled. ‘Shall I tell you how I think about you and our baby every single second of every single day, wondering what you’re doing and whether you’re okay. How I can’t sleep at night without you lying next to me. How I can’t bear to be in our house because everywhere I look, I see you.’ I pulled her back to me, one hand in her hair and the other on her backside. ‘How it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to carry you back home and fuck some sense into you.’
She looked up at me and took a deep breath. I could feel her heart hammering against my chest.
‘Gabe,’ she whispered and my cock stiffened. I was about five seconds away from lifting her onto the kitchen counter top and burying myself in her.
Then with the most annoying timing in the history of the world, Sebastian walked back into the room, clocked that I had my hands all over his daughter and frowned at me.
‘Am I interrupting something?’ he asked.
I released her from my embrace and took a step back.
‘No. Of course not, Dad,’ Samantha replied. ‘I was just going to take my laptop upstairs and give you both some space.’
Then she was gone and all I could do was watch her walk out of the room and know that there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.
Chapter 11
Samantha
I was lying on my bed scrolling through the internet and looking at baby clothes on my phone when it rang my hand, startling me. I saw Gabriel’s name flashing on the screen and my heart lurched in my chest.
I contemplated not answering, but he’d only call back until I did. I hadn’t spoken to him since that awkward moment in my dad’s kitchen yesterday when it had seemed we’d been moments away from tearing each other’s clothes off.
‘Hi, Gabe,’ I said.
‘Hi, Sam. I was just wondering how you’re doing? Any sickness today?’
I checked the time on my watch. It was 9pm and I usually had an intense bout of nausea at this time of night. He would usually make me a cup of peppermint tea and hold my hand until it passed. The memory made me want to smile and cry at the same time.
‘Actually, it’s not been too bad today. I think it’s finally starting to ease.’
‘Good,’ he said and then there was an awkward silence.
‘Are you working?’ I asked. He’d stopped working nights while we’d been together, but I knew from my father that he had started up again. In fact, it seemed he was working sixteen hour days, and I couldn’t help but worry about him.
‘Yeah. I’ve just finished checking on one of the clubs and I thought I’d call you before I headed to the next one. Where are you?’
‘Just lying in bed, watching telly and scrolling through my phone.’
‘In bed? What are you wearing?’ he laughed softly and I couldn’t help smile.
‘Nothing exciting actually. The grey t-shirt with the little bird on the arm.’
‘My t-shirt?’ he asked.
‘Yes. I brought it with me. It’s so comfy. I didn’t think. Sorry.’ I didn’t tell him that I hadn’t washed it yet either, and it still smelled of him.
‘I love that you’re wearing my t-shirt,’ he growled and I felt my insides clench and contract. ‘Fuck, Sam! This is so hard.’
‘I know. It’s hard for me too,’ I said as I blinked away the tears.
‘Then let me make it better. I can be there in twenty minutes,’ he offered.
I seriously considered it for a second. I missed him so much and his almost daily phone calls, during which he was funny and caring and charming, really weren’t helping matters. ‘Don’t, Gabe,’ I said with a sigh instead.
‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’ll speak to you tomorrow. Get some sleep, Sam.’
‘I will. You need to sleep too though, you know?’
‘I can’t sleep without you,’ he said softly. ‘Bye, baby,’ he finished and then he hung up the phone.
I pressed my head against the pillow and closed my eyes. I contemplated phoning him back and telling him that I struggled to sleep without him too. I never slept as well as I did when I was nestled against his body.
But I couldn’t do that. Nothing had changed. There was still another woman out there carrying his baby.
Chapter 12
Samantha
I rubbed a hand over my bump and smiled. These past few weeks had been tough, but whenever I thought about my baby it made me realise how much I had to be thankful for. Gabriel was trying his best to give me space, although that included phoning me almost every day.
I supposed I couldn’t blame him, he wanted to know how the baby was doing too. I had to admit it was nice to hear his voice. I missed him so much, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and Jennifer. Every time I closed my eyes, I imagined the two of them together and it made me feel sick.
My thoughts were interrupted by my office phone ringing.
‘Hi Beth,’ I answered.
‘Hi, Samantha. I’ve got Mr Lewis on the line again,’ she said with a sigh.
‘Okay. Put him through. Maybe I’ll actually get to speak to him this time?’ I laughed.
He had called me again every day this week, and still each time he seemed to get cut off before he spoke to me. Given that Beth managed to put every other call I got through to me successfully, I knew there was no problem our end.
I waited as Beth put him through. ‘Hello?’ I said.
No answer.
‘Hello? Mr Lewis?’
Nothing.
Sighing, I put the phone down and walked out into the reception.
‘Did he cut off again?’ Beth asked, h
er mouth open in surprise.
‘Yes. Is there ever a problem when you speak to him? Does he sound like he has a poor line or connection issues?’
She shook her head ‘None at all. He’s as clear as day.’
‘Then what the hell is going on? That’s about the tenth time now that’s happened.’
‘Maybe I should refuse to put him through next time and insist on taking a number from him? Then maybe you can call him back and finally get to speak to him?’ she suggested.
I nodded. ‘Yes. I think that’s for the best.’
‘Do you think it’s anything to worry about?’ she asked me.
‘No,’ I replied a little too quickly, trying to convince myself as much as her that there was absolutely nothing to the spate of lost connections.
Chapter 13
Gabriel
I sat at my desk, trying to make sense of the new staff rota when I felt my mobile phone ringing in my pocket. ‘For fuck’s sake,’ I mumbled to myself.
Taking it out, I intended to press the end call button until I saw Samantha’s name flashing on the screen. She hadn’t called me once since she’d walked out on me almost six weeks earlier. It was always me who called her. I answered it immediately.
‘Hi, Sam. Is everything okay?’
‘Yes. I just … I got my appointment for my twenty week scan through. It’s on Thursday at half past ten. I know you said you wanted to come with me.’
The sound of her voice made my heart hammer in my chest.
I swallowed.
The fact she was phoning me and telling me about this was something – wasn’t it? ‘Of course I do. I’ll pick you up and we can drive together.’
‘I can make my own way. You can meet me there if you like?’
‘Sam,’ I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. ‘Please, just let me drive you.’
There was a moment’s pause before she answered. ‘Okay. Pick me up from my office about quarter to ten then?’
‘I’ll be there.’
‘Okay,’ she said quietly.
‘How are you doing?’ I asked her.
She sniffed and I wondered if she was crying. It seemed all I did lately was make her cry. ‘Fine,’ she eventually replied.
‘Do you need anything?’ I asked, hoping that she would need something, anything, from me.
‘No. I have to go. I’ll see you Thursday.’
My heart constricted. I was desperate for any contact with her but she could barely even stand to talk to me, and I supposed I couldn’t blame her. ‘Okay. Bye, Sam.’
The line went dead and I leaned back in my chair. Just six weeks earlier my life had been completely different. I’d had a future with Sam all planned out. We were going to be a family.
We were happy.
Now I had two kids on the way instead, and the woman I adored couldn’t stand me.
I scrolled through the contacts of my phone and dialled Jennifer’s number.
‘Hey, Gabriel,’ she answered. ‘It’s so lovely to hear from you.’ I winced at the tone of her voice. Now, this was a woman desperate to speak to me – how fucking ironic.
‘Have you had you twenty week scan?’ I asked.
‘What?’
‘Your twenty week scan? You haven’t had it yet, have you? Shouldn’t you have by now though.’
‘Oh, yeah, I had it a couple of weeks ago.’
‘A couple of weeks ago? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I didn’t want to bother you with it,’ she replied sweetly. ‘I know how busy you are.’
I frowned. She was happy to call me at 1am to tell me she thought she’d heard someone outside her flat, or to tell me she had a cramp, but she didn’t want to bother me with our child’s scan? That didn’t make sense to me.
‘Did you get any pictures?’ I asked, recalling the fuzzy black and white photograph from Samantha’s last scan that I kept on my refrigerator.
‘What?’ she asked.
‘Pictures? Of the baby?’
‘Oh, yes. Of course I did.’
‘Well, can I have one?’
‘I’m sorry. They only gave me one. I’ll take a photo of it and send it to you if you like?’
‘Yeah, that would be good. I have to go.’
‘Okay. I’ll speak to you soon?’ she said expectantly.
‘Yeah. Bye.’
I ended the call and a few moments later the photograph appeared on my screen. I stared at it and couldn’t help but smile. It actually looked like a baby. My baby? I sent her a quick text message of thanks in response.
Chapter 14
Samantha
I climbed into the passenger seat of Gabriel’s car and gave him a faint smile. My stomach was churning and I was a bundle of nervous energy. I couldn’t wait to see our baby on the screen and find out if he or she was okay, but I was also terrified that something might be wrong.
‘I brought you something,’ Gabriel said as he pulled a packet of peanut M&M’s from the door panel.
My favourite.
I took them from him and a sob caught in my throat. Why did he have to be so bloody thoughtful?
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘I wish you wouldn’t be so bloody nice. You’re not making this easy, you know?’
‘Sam,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I would do anything for you, but please don’t ask me to make it easier for you to be away from me.’
I turned away and looked out of the window, placing the packet of M&M’s in my handbag. The sooner we got this over with, the better. Being in such close proximity to him and not touching him was torturous.
I looked up at the sonographer and smiled nervously as she squirted the clear jelly onto my stomach.
I felt sick. This was it. She would tell me whether our baby was healthy and well. I had never felt so anxious in my entire life.
I reached for Gabriel’s hand and he squeezed it tightly. ‘It’s going to be fine,’ he mouthed.
I nodded at him while the sonographer readied her equipment. She turned to me and pointed to the large screen beside us. ‘This is where you’ll get to see your beautiful baby,’ she said with a smile as she placed the small device on my stomach.
She rolled it over my jelly covered skin, down towards my abdomen. I looked at the grainy image on the screen but I couldn’t make anything out and I swallowed. Was everything okay?
A few seconds later, she gave me a huge smile. ‘There’s your little one,’ she said as the head came into focus. ‘Woah, okay,’ she laughed as she moved the machine around. ‘Did you want to know the sex?’
‘Yes!’ I blurted out before Gabriel even had a chance to answer.
The sonographer looked at him and he laughed. ‘Whatever the lady wants,’ he said with a shrug.
‘Great. In that case, you’re having a boy,’ she beamed at us both.
‘A boy!’ I breathed. ‘And is he okay?’
‘I just need to take a few measurements, and some pictures, but he’s looking good so far. He’s very photogenic.’
‘Handsome like his Daddy,’ I found myself saying without thinking.
She carried on viewing the images, taking pictures and pointing out our boy’s heart and limbs. As she worked, I squeezed Gabriel’s hand tighter with each passing second. My heart was in my mouth. He smiled at me, before lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing it gently.
The touch of his lips sent shockwaves up my arm – right to that place between my thighs that had missed him endlessly.
‘So, your boy is perfectly healthy. He’s measuring a little smaller than average, but that’s fine.’
I almost cried with relief. ‘Really? He’s okay?’
She nodded. ‘Perfect.’
‘Thank you so much,’ I said and then I did start crying.
Gabriel stood up and handed me a tissue from his pocket. I dabbed at my eyes and the sonographer smiled at us both – no doubt thinking what a happy couple we seemed.
‘I’ll just print you
some pictures,’ she said and then she walked to the other side of the room.
‘He’s okay, Gabe,’ I said to him when she walked away. ‘She said he’s perfect.’
‘Of course he is,’ he smiled at me.
I was so happy I felt like I would burst. The whole emotion of the day washed over me and I pulled him to me, kissing his beautiful soft lips. He brushed my lips with his, gently at first, but then he slipped his tongue inside my mouth and I melted into him.
It was brief and passionate – and in that kiss, we told each other all that we weren’t able to say.
We heard a cough beside us and we broke apart. The sonographer stood, smiling at us, her hand outstretched, holding out a roll of photographs. ‘Here you go. I printed the best ones,’ she said.
‘Thank you,’ Gabriel said as he took them from her and looked at them, his eyes shining.
‘Thank you,’ I added.
‘I’ll leave you to get cleaned up,’ she said as she handed me some blue paper towels.
She left the room and I started to wipe the jelly from my stomach. Gabriel took the towels from me when I’d finished and put them into the waste paper bin. Then he walked back over to me and took my hand, helping me down from the bed. ‘You okay?’ he asked.
I nodded. ‘Yes. Can I see the photos?’
He handed them to me and I looked at the perfect pictures of our perfect baby boy. ‘I want one of them, you know,’ he said.
‘Of course. But we’ll need scissors. I’ll cut one off when I get home.’
‘I want the top one,’ he said with a grin.
I studied them. They were all great shots. Our baby really was photogenic. ‘Okay,’ I agreed.
Then he held out his arm and I linked mine through it. For just a little while longer, I could ride this wave of happiness, and pretend that we were the perfect couple.
The drive back from the hospital was unbearably tense. We drove in silence and the sexual tension crackled in the air between us.
I drummed my fingers on the door panel. ‘I’m sorry about kissing you,’ I said when I could bear the silence no longer.
Fallen Angel (The London Ruthless Series Book 2) Page 5