I grinned and shook my head. “I’d say you owe me, but you know I’m a softie when it comes to my big brother.”
He clinked his beer against mine. “I will owe you for this one, but I’m hoping you guys can mostly avoid each other. He’ll sleep on the futon in Maddie’s room, and I’ll put her in with me. Should be minimal impact on your life.”
“Promise?”
“Well, sis, I guess that’s really up to you.”
I poked my tongue at him, and Tom flicked his bottle cap at me. Ahh, siblings.
2
Will
She sat at Sunday dinner stirring her peas. Why stir peas? What an obvious cliché of ways to fidget.
When Claire asked about her weekend, my fork began to swirl the little green balls on my plate, too.
She stirred because she was bored. I stirred because I should’ve been.
My mind split in half. In the front of my brain, I reviewed my calendar for the upcoming week. In the back, I pictured Olivia Milani at a pop star’s house party, swinging her dark hair and wearing a halter top and miniskirt, perfectly comfortable among models and celebrities.
I chose not to picture that Nick douchebag, whoever he was.
There were moments, not many but a few, when I wondered if my disinterest in Olivia was the wrong tactic. There were times—that one, for example—when paranoia gripped me, made me sure that I was pathetically obvious. If someone looked closely, would they see how mad she drove me? Would they know how I wanted to dare her into not being so damn flighty? How badly I wanted her to take the potential she had and make it worth something instead of running away when life got hard?
How I wanted her long legs wrapped around my back while I got drunk on her flavor? How I’d have no problem letting her tie me up and punish me after I pulled on that dark mane a little too hard? How I wanted to tell her that through all her fads and crazy hairstyles, she stunned me silent with her effortless beauty?
Jesus, how did they all not see it?
I panicked as I described work, wondering if I’d just trailed off into a litany of filthy, explicit fantasies instead. Claire and Anthony, my surrogate parents, continued to nod and smile, so I wrapped up fast and shut my damn mouth. Claire cut cake, and Olivia disappeared at Maddie’s cry.
I didn’t intentionally run into her in the hallway. I certainly didn’t catch the sound of Maddie’s shrieking giggles, sidle like a creep to the Milanis’ bedroom, and watch, fascinated, at the sight of Olivia on her back, her niece hoisted into the air.
Of course I didn’t. That would be absurd.
I did want to get a rise out of her with my little jab about the pop star, though. I counted on the zinger she sent back. And, because there was clearly something wrong with me, I went into the bathroom with the most ridiculous fantasy in my head…
She set Maddie down and pointed to the kitchen. “Gramma has cake,” she whispered, her dark eyes on the little girl until we heard Claire’s exclamation.
Then, she flipped her hair while she spun on her heel and gazed at my smirk. Her voice was as cool as the rest of her. “American Pop, that’s right. What’s it to you, Will Langer?”
But her finger hooked the belt loop of my jeans as her other hand fisted my shirt.
My throat was tight, muscles clenched with restraint. “I’m just wondering why you’d waste your time like that.”
“What do you suggest I do with my time instead?”
I stepped backward into the bathroom. Her arm lifted as I pulled away, but she didn’t release me; she followed. The moment she was through the door, I pushed it closed and flipped the lock…
I acknowledged being a total sleaze for thoughts like those. Olivia and I had never been familial, but I couldn’t justify my guilt any more than I could stop my thoughts about her. They’d been part of me for so long, a decade at least, that I wouldn’t know myself without them. I’d forgotten what life was like before she was in it, before I adored Tom’s kid sister and hated myself for it—especially after he made it very damn clear that she was off limits. I couldn’t remember what it felt like, my heart before her. My soul before her.
Every part of my logical being rolled his eyes at the way I felt for Olivia. All good sense said I was absurd, that I should’ve found a wife and settled down already and let her live however she pleased. Everything told me I was wasting my time.
And yet, the years went by and nothing changed.
God only knew how I was going to survive the summer if she agreed to Tom’s plan.
3
Liv
June cranked up its heat per usual, and life rolled on more or less normally for a few more weeks. The big difference in routines came on Fridays. Summer Fridays were historically for sleeping late, watching trash TV, and maybe going to the pool or hanging out at Megan’s hair salon that she ran out of her home. They were not for waking up early to be at daycare by 7 am. They were definitely not for spending five and a half hours singing songs and distributing animal crackers and crayons.
But Rachel called midweek saying I had been a huge help. She’d gotten permission to ask me to assist again. On top of that, the head of the daycare wanted to know if I would agree to the gig through the end of July.
I hadn’t hesitated to say yes.
It was still nothing major. As an authorized adult contact for Maddie, I could act as a parent chaperon so long as I was never alone with the kids. Still, I felt like I had done something important with my day every time I walked out of that little classroom.
Rachel and I sat together in the only adult-sized chairs in the room on my third week. The kids were napping on rows of padded blue mats, so we had to whisper.
“You’re a natural with the kids, Olivia,” Rachel said with a smile. “But you’re not a parent, right?”
I waved the thought away. “Oh, god no. Not even thinking about it yet. I love Maddie to death, but being an aunt is enough for now.”
“Well, you and your brother are raising her well. I can tell she gets a lot of practice with conversation at home. It’s so important to talk to them like people. Baby talk doesn’t facilitate growth.”
“We try.” I hadn’t considered the truth of what she’d said, but it made sense.
“I’m getting my masters’ in child development right now, so those kinds of things interest me a lot. Uh, I hope this isn’t presumptive, but you’ve seemed so involved in the class and curious about my job. I brought you something.”
She reached behind her chair and handed me a canvas tote bag. I pulled out a large, soft-cover textbook on early childhood development.
“What do I do with this?”
Shit. I bit my tongue. My question hadn’t meant to sound rude, but too often I let the thought train leave the station before I considered how someone would take it.
Rachel just laughed. “Whatever you want, I guess. I ended up with two copies last semester and thought maybe you’d be interested. If nothing else, it’ll tell you a little more about Maddie as she grows.”
I looked at her, my brows drawn. “Wow, thanks. I mean, I never really thought about this kind of thing before but thank you.”
She nodded. “I understand. But you’re great with Maddie, and you’re incredible with the class. Just think of it as a little light reading on the brain.”
I grinned, half in agreement and half with goofy pride. I couldn’t remember the last time someone described me as incredible at anything other than telling people off.
Rachel returned my smile, and then looked around the room and sighed. “God, I wish we got naptime, too,” she whispered, and we had to shush each other’s laughter to keep the kids asleep.
At home that afternoon, I lounged on my bed and flipped the book open, planning to pass a little time by skimming it.
“Hey Livi, I figured you’d be getting ready to go out.”
I jolted out of the book when Tom stuck his head in my room. My phone clock told me I’d been reading for three freaking hour
s. “Oh, uh, just—yeah, I should probably get going.”
“How was daycare today?”
I pushed the book under my pillow before standing up. “It was alright. Just a day.”
“I hear that.” He chuckled and turned away. “See you later, sis. Have a good one.”
“Later, Tommy.”
Tom had caught on to my daycare gig. His twelve-hour shifts at the hospital put us on very different schedules. Taking care of Maddie and dropping her off were regular parts of my routine, but there was no way to hide getting up early just to take her to school. When he noticed the week before, I’d told him the partial truth: they were short staffed, and the money was a good little bonus. He hadn’t asked for more details, and I hadn’t wanted to share.
Why are you being such a geek about this thing? It’s literally no big deal. The money was minimal as an aide—not that the money was great for the teachers, but at least it was a living—and the whole thing was temporary. Why, then, was I tight-lipped like it was a friggin’ black ops mission?
“Whatever.” I jammed the book in its bag and went to find an outfit.
Ooommm. My eyes opened to gaze at the pale orange ceiling. Sweat pooled in the hollow of my throat and slicked my hair, but I resisted the urge to towel off until I’d sat up. Beside me, Megan polished off a bottle of water. We silently rolled up our mats and went for the showers.
Hot yoga had become my obsession last fall and showed no signs of growing dull. Ninety minutes of cathartic sweating was pure bliss in my book. On top of that, the bonus of brunch and best friend time afterward made a perfect Saturday morning, especially on the Saturday Will moved in.
“Your new ink is gorgeous.” I eyed the colorful tree on Megan’s shoulder while we dressed.
“Checking me out, chick?” She ran a fingertip over the fresh tattoo. “It took about four hours. Which, let’s remember, I spent alone, thanks to your ‘super busy Friday’.”
I flicked water droplets from my hair at her. “I said sorry, you ass. Maddie’s daycare needs some extra help.”
Megan stepped into her shorts and wrinkled her brows. “That’s where you’ve been? Sounds… enthralling.”
We walked out of the yoga studio and down the block to Sky Blue Café, our usual spot. I shrugged, hoping she didn’t notice my held breath. “It’s alright.”
“If you say so. Latte or regular coffee today?” She slid into the booth already eyeing the menu.
“Latte. Saturdays are for indulging.”
The drinks arrived while I searched for a good topic to chat about. Obviously, I wasn’t going to start gushing about toddler cognitive theories.
Meg beat me to it. Her hazel eyes flared as she took her first sip. “I forgot to tell you. I have our next big thing.”
“Oh? Do tell.”
She thumbed her phone and grinned. A second later, mine buzzed with a link. “CrossFit, baby. We could be some badass bosses.”
I skimmed the info page she’d sent and snorted. “Could be? Tuh, as if we aren’t by nature. But I hear this is intense, and we just took that Krav Maga course in March. That stuff works, by the way.”
Meg set her mug down with a bang. “Stop, hold on. Did you use the crane technique and not tell me? Liv Milani, did you sweep the leg?”
We laughed at the Karate Kid references for the millionth time since enrolling in the self-defense class. “Not even close, but I used the wrist grab defense on an asshole at the Jesse Storms party a few weeks ago.”
She gave me a slow clap. “You’re my hero. So, how is it a bad idea to add burpees and rope climbs to your repertoire?”
“Am I in training for X-Games or something?”
“Nah, just for life, yo.”
We clinked mugs to that.
Megs gestured to her phone again. “Look, it’s four classes for a hundred bucks. Let’s see if we like it. If you wuss out, I bet you can get a refund.”
“Name the last time I wussed on anything.”
“Exactly. We can start Tuesday.”
“Ugh, fine. Bought.” I tapped the screen hard for dramatic flair.
Megan grinned. “Speaking of that party, how’s Nick these days?”
I shrugged and stashed my phone. “Meh. Haven’t heard from him in a while. I tried texting a couple times, but no response. Working on Jesse’s album is making him kind of crazy.”
“So I should cancel the order of monogrammed towels I bought you guys?” Megan laughed when I flipped her off. “Come on, ‘fess up. How, um, serious did y’all get?”
“God, you are nosey.”
Her eyes widened. “He was on top of you so bad at my place that one night, I thought I was getting action. Besides, he is pretty cute. Come on, give me the scoop.”
I groaned so loud the people at the next table looked over. “Nick and I are friends. Maybe we, ahem, blurred a few lines a couple—three—times, but it was just fun. It’s not like we were in the throes of a passionate affair. Now he’s busy and so am I. Who cares?”
Megan drummed her fingers on the table. “I hear there are going to be some new faces at David and Aaron’s party tonight. You coming?”
I arched a brow and picked up the check. “That could definitely be fun.”
She winked at me as we slid out of the booth. “Fun indeed. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Pray for me. It’s jerkface move-in day.”
“Om, girl. Om.”
We kissed cheeks goodbye. I headed for my car humming the Imperial Death March as I braced to “welcome” Will into my home.
His black Audi was parked in my spot in the driveway. A fancy-looking bicycle leaned against the side of the house. “Great start, buddy boy. Thanks for leaving me to park on the curb.” I stomped inside, grumbling under my breath. The living room was quiet, but the floorboards upstairs creaked as muffled voiced drifted down. I followed the sounds.
Maddie squealed when I peeked into Tom’s room. She sat in a heap of clothes with a crown on her head and a pink tutu over her clothes. “Hi, Livi, toys!”
In the corner, Tom and Will wrestled with the toddler bed. There was a futon in her room that Will would use, and I wondered how he felt about the idea of living for two months in the pastel beach décor I’d painted for her third birthday. I hope Tom makes him use the SpongeBob sheets.
I bit my cheek to keep from cackling and caught Tom’s eye. “Do you need help?”
He shook his head. “Nah, we’ve got it. We’re going play clean up in a bit, right Mads?”
She grinned at her father, oblivious.
“Okay. Guess I’ll be in my room.”
“Sounds good.” Tom turned back to the bed, which I noticed Will had been studying the whole time.
“Hello, William.” My voice was flat and louder than needed. Got something to say about how I could lend a hand? Maybe you’d like to critique my outfit or—
He glanced at me over his shoulder. “Olivia.”
I sucked my teeth in reply and disappeared to my room. The textbook was on my vanity table, easily accessible on my way to the bed. I kicked my sandals off and flopped down with my highlighter and pen in hand.
Shrugging off Megan’s question earlier was pretty impressive. I had basically lost all chill on the subject of child development. I’d taken to reading the textbook on my lunch hour during the week. My head was full of facts and questions that had no outlet except for the whisper sessions with Rachel on Fridays. Yesterday, I’d finally asked her how one became a daycare teacher. Nonchalance was my goal, but that crumbled when she’d grinned and promised to forward some information.
Okay, so this is your latest thing. Cool. But it’s not a big deal, so of course it’s not worth telling Megs about. Being a helper will be over in a couple weeks. Becoming a teacher or something would require a college degree, or at least a certification, which you don’t have. Don’t get carried away.
I frowned at the book. What was the point of all these notes, or even bothering to read
on, if that were true?
It’ll help you be an awesome aunt. You know you’re good at that.
Reason enough. I opened the cover and dove back in.
4
Liv
Maddie was amped when I picked her up on Monday, so to wear her out we played one of our favorite games: “Concert.” For this, we both dressed up in my flashiest clothes and put on lipstick. I sang and danced around the living room while she bopped to the music and squealed with laughter.
We did several oldies and a couple new hits before I called up my theme song and signature number, “Let ‘Em Talk” by Kesha—skipping the curse words, of course. This song always required a lot of jumping around and throwing my hair, leaving me sweaty by the time it was over, but damn it was a fun one to shout-scream.
At the first chorus, I noticed Maddie was also jumping around and shaking her head, clearly trying to copy me. When I waved a finger, she did it right back, puckering her little lips as a mirror to my pout. Ooh, a new development! My brain split between the performance and trying to recall what the textbook had said about mimicry.
Guess I was a little too absorbed because I failed to hear the back door open.
“Oh-oh-oh—oh, god, really?” I twirled around and found Will leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a sardonic curl on his lips. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough. Don’t let me stop you.”
I glared at him, but then spun to Maddie and threw myself on my knees at her feet. She dropped to hers too, arms flung wide, and Jesse Storms could keep the arenas full of screaming fans. My niece’s grin was enough for me.
“More, Livi! ‘Call Me Maybe’!”
I cringed; Will snorted. “Let’s go eat instead. How about a cookie?” I suggested, just short of pleading with a toddler.
Maddie wouldn’t be moved.
Will also wouldn’t move. I don’t know how he didn’t hear the curse-laden directions to go away that I mentally shouted at him, but he just cleared his throat and gave me another one of those smug smirks.
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