“Sinner eats me out every morning.” Cara blushed and covered her face as she laughed.
“Sam has a Prince Albert.”
“Hunter has this really weird fascination with wax ever since his first time. The scary part is, I’m not sure if it’s because of me or all the guys that compared wax jobs with him in the locker room.”
“Julian calls his dick Dirty Harry.”
“Blake fucks sheep.”
There was silence all around the room before Emma burst out in laughter. “I’m kidding!”
✯✯✯✯✯
Maggie
“We all want to be trained properly,” I said as we all stood around the main area of the house. “The kids get training every day and we sit around and drink wine.”
“You’re not drinking wine,” Sebastian said, glaring at my stomach.
“Okay, almost all of us are drinking wine. Either way, we want to do something other than sit on our asses all day.”
Sinner snorted and I glared at him. “What? Freckles, this isn’t really the kind of thing that women get involved in.”
“Lola and Florrie are professionally trained,” I shot back.
“Yeah, but they’re…” He waved his hand around and Cazzo cut in.
“Manly women.”
“Seriously, what the fuck is with everyone?” Florrie snapped. “There is nothing manly about either of us. We have ass and tits!”
“No, I wasn’t going to say that,” Sinner shook his head. “I was going to say that they’re meant for this work. They’re tough and you’re…not.”
“I’m missing a finger!” I shoved my hand in his face, showing him where I was missing a finger. “See? Remember how I got this?”
“We all remember,” Sebastian growled. “That’s why we don’t want you involved in training. We don’t need to put any more thoughts in your head.”
“You know, I really resent you saying that we’re not tough,” Emma snapped. “I beat cancer with only a ten percent chance to live! I’d like to see you do that.”
“Yeah, and I pushed out a baby in the back of a truck without an epidural while you two yahoos were watching,” I shouted. “I’d like to see how you fared in labor.”
Sinner chuckled, as did a few of the other guys.
“Is something funny?” Lola asked. “Because I have been shot and I’ve been through labor. I can tell you that having contractions for twelve hours and then shoving a kid out of you without drugs hurts a hell of a lot more than a bullet wound that gets treated right away.”
“Lola,” Hunter said placatingly. “I think Ice and I can both attest to the fact that a bullet to the chest is a lot more painful than giving birth. That wasn’t an easy recovery.”
“You had morphine,” Lola pointed out. “Women can’t have morphine during or after. And if you breastfeed, there’s not a whole lot you can take for pain besides your general over the counter drugs.”
“Are you really comparing the recovery of being shot in the chest to having a baby?” Ice asked. “There’s no comparison. I couldn’t move for over a week after surgery. Now, you tell me that you had it worse.”
“See, this is where you men are so stupid. We’re not trying to have a contest here,” Lindsey said. “But since everything to you boys is a competition, why don’t we compare notes?”
Ice snorted and then waved in front of him in a sweeping bow. “Be my guest.”
“Who did everything for you when you were in the hospital?” Lindsey asked.
“The nurses and you, but I was shot.”
“Right. And when I had Zoe, who got up every two hours to breastfeed?”
“You did, but you have boobs and I don’t.”
“And when she needed a diaper change, who changed her?”
Ice was silent for a moment. “You.”
“And when she wouldn’t calm down all night long the second night, who stayed up with her?”
“You.”
“And when we went home from the hospital, who got up to change her and feed her every night?”
“Are you just going to ask the same questions over and over again?”
“I’m not finished. Who walked around for close to a month peeing uncontrollably because a baby had sat on her bladder for so long that her bladder didn’t function properly anymore?”
“Really?” Gabe asked. “You just walked around peeing yourself?”
“I had to wear a diaper!”
Gabe started laughing and Sebastian slapped him upside the head.
“Did anything like that happen to you when you had surgery?”
“No, but I almost died.” Ice rolled his eyes and muttered, “Not that you would care anyway.”
“Alright, I think you’ve made your point,” Sebastian said. He was using his placating tone that really pissed me off. Yeah, we know that you had a baby and it was hard. Cry me a river.
“How about we make you a deal then?” I said with a sweet smile. “There are simulators that can be used to show men what labor is like. I think we should have each of you use them for the same amount of time the average labor is. If you can last the whole time without complaining, we’ll drop having you train us. But if you can’t make it or if you start crying or complaining, you have to train us.”
“Deal,” Sebastian said instantly, sticking out his hand for me to shake.
“Whoa, wait a minute,” Burg cut in. “I never agreed to this.”
“You pussy, it’s not worse than getting shot,” Cazzo snorted. “Man up.”
Chris cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Uh, I’m not sure we should do this. We don’t have to prove anything. I say we just train them.”
“And let them win?” Hunter said incredulously.
“I’m with Hunter,” Sinner grinned. “How many of them have actually been shot? There’s no way labor is worse. I say we do this shit.”
“Fine,” I grinned. “I’ll talk to Becky and see if she can arrange what we need.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Sinner
“These tiny little things are going to simulate labor?” I picked up one of the circles and examined it. They looked harmless.
“These are what doctors are using now for demonstrations. They’re the latest technology and very accurate,” Becky grinned. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Piece of cake.”
“I still think this is a bad idea,” Burg muttered.
“Don’t be a pussy,” Cazzo growled. “You can’t show these women any weakness. If you let them think for even one second that you can’t handle it, they’ll have you by the balls the rest of your life.”
I rolled my eyes at Cazzo. “You’re fucking delusional if you think they don’t already have us by the balls.”
“Not me,” Alec retorted. “If anything, Florrie tries to keep me as far away from her as possible. God forbid I even try to spend the night in her fucking bed.”
“By the balls,” I grinned.
“No,” Alec shook his head. “We don’t have that kind of relationship, if you could even call it that.”
“Dude, you’re so fucking stupid,” Craig chastised him. “That’s what he’s saying. She has you by the balls because she’s calling all the shots. She decides everything about your relationship and you don’t have any say in it.”
“I have a say,” Alec said defensively. “I’m the one that decided when we started fucking.”
“Yeah? How long has this shit been going on?”
“When I was shot,” he sneered at me.
“Wait, that was a few years ago.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So, you’ve been fucking her for a few years and you’re telling me that you don’t want more?”
Becky finished hooking me up and I laid back on the makeshift gurney. This was going to be a piece of cake. I put my hands behind my head and waited for this shit to get started. Turning back to Alec, I watched as he got lost in his thoughts.
“You
never tried to get her to commit?”
“Well,” he shrugged and looked away. “It’s not like I need a commitment. We work at the same fucking place and spend most of our time together. It’s not like I have to worry about her cheating on me.”
“But if you’re not committed, it wouldn’t matter if she slept with someone else because it’s not technically cheating,” Craig said. “I still can’t believe I didn’t know any of this. I’ve been your teammate for years and neither of you told me a fucking thing.”
“Sorry, did you want to join in?” Alec snapped.
“Alright, boys, calm down so we can get started. Now, this first setting is just the first stages of labor. You’ll notice that the contractions aren’t consistent and dull.”
I waited to feel the first one and chuckled to myself. This was going to be so easy. “I can’t believe women actually complain about this. It’s one fucking day and they act like they’re being massacred. What a waste of a few hours.”
Twelve hours later, I was breathing through my nose as I paced the room. Even walking was fucking painful. Every time a contraction hit, I felt like the whole room went black. But sitting down made it even worse.
“You need to drink water,” Cara said from where she was sitting across the room. She was flipping through a magazine and barely paying any attention to me.
“It’s making me nauseous.”
“The labor pains are more intense when you’re dehydrated.” She still wasn’t looking at me, just reading that damn magazine.
“I’ll start throwing up if I drink water.”
“Fine, stay dehydrated.”
I rolled my eyes and kept pacing. This had to end soon. It wasn’t that it was extremely painful, it was more that it just kept going, over and over again. It was fucking irritating.
“How much longer is this going to continue?” Cap complained. “I have shit to do.”
“You agreed,” Freckles smirked. “And I can’t wait to say I told you so.”
“Alright, boys.” Becky smiled deviously as she walked over with her controller. “It’s time to separate the boys from the men. You are now in active labor.”
She hit a button and I felt the change immediately. The contractions were stronger. The pain was more intense, and it was no longer just a tight band around my waist. It was like my stomach was being stretched apart, on the verge of tearing in two.
“This is stage two?” Gabe started huffing like you see on those older movies when the woman is in labor. “It’s been twelve hours. How can this only be stage two?”
“Are you ready to admit defeat?” Isa taunted.
“Not a chance. I just didn’t expect it to take so long to get to this phase.”
I looked down at my watch, timing the contractions and doing my best to breathe through the pain. “Mine are consistent now at three minutes apart. Does that mean I’m having a baby soon?”
“Not necessarily,” Becky said. “It depends on how dilated you are.”
I looked at her warily. “You’re not going to check, are you? Because, Burg is the one that’s into all that tranie shit.”
“Would you stop already? That was like seven or eight years ago.”
“Doesn’t make it any less funny.”
I tuned everyone else out as I paced the floor. This shit was fucking ridiculous. How long was I going to have to do this? I didn’t want to admit it, but I was fucking exhausted. Who knew that having pain in your stomach would make you tired? Hours went by and the pain intensified by the minute. I held it in for as long as I could, but it was too much. I was splintering in two.
“Holy fuck. Someone get me something for the pain,” I screamed.
“Would you like some Tylenol?” Cara asked, still sitting in that fucking chair, reading another magazine, like I wasn’t over here suffering.
“Tylenol? You want me to take fucking Tylenol? I want the good shit!”
“Are you ready to admit defeat?”
“Never,” I growled. I could make it through this.
“I’ll admit defeat,” Chris cried. “I fucking told you we shouldn’t do this, but no! We just had to prove that we were tough and could handle this. I want my bed, and it wouldn’t kill you to get your ass over here and massage my back,” he yelled at Ali. ”I’m having your fucking kid!”
“Oh, my God!” Burg yelled at Cazzo. “This is so much worse than being shot. You stupid fuck! Why did you make us do this?”
“I didn’t think it would be that bad,” Cazzo screamed. “I’ve had my nipples pierced and my dick pierced. That didn’t hurt this bad!”
“Please tell me this is almost over,” Cap whined. “I’ll fucking train you, give you whatever you want.”
“This is only stage two. Are you ready to start stage three?” Becky asked.
I thought I was going to pass out. If this was stage two and it hurt that bad, what was stage three going to feel like? “I give in. Take the fucking sensors off me now.”
“Oh, did I forget to mention that you have to complete the full labor process or your muscles will cramp painfully?”
“What the fuck do you think is happening now?” I shouted. “My balls are ready to cut my sack open and jump out just so they can get away from the pain!”
“Why are they so close together?” Burg shouted. “Fuck, this baby is trying to kill me.”
“You’re not actually pregnant, asshole!” Burg glared at me, but another contraction hit and I doubled over in pain. “I swear to God, I’ll never say that women are weak again.”
“Oh, God!” Cazzo shouted. “Is this it? It feels like I need to push.”
“You can’t feel the need to push,” Ice shouted. “You don’t have a vagina!”
I heard snickering and turned around. All the ladies were laughing at us. I would have yelled at them, but another contraction hit.
“I swear, Claire bear, I’ll never put you through this,” Derek said as he hunched over on his hands and knees. “No kid is worth this.”
“Let’s push things along,” Becky smiled. “No pun intended.”
“No, please!” I begged. “No more. I can’t- Ahhh!”
When the contraction passed, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and sat down on the edge of the bed. This was fucking brutal.
“Okay, I’ll move this along to the final pushes. Everyone on your backs, feet in the air,” Becky commanded.
“Lollipop, get off your ass and hold my fucking hand.”
I laid down and stuck my feet in the air like they were resting in stirrups. Cara walked over to me and placed a cool cloth on my forehead. “There, there. You’ll be fine. It’s just a little pain. Think of what you’ll have when it’s all over.”
“Nothing! I’ll have fucking nothing because I’m not really having a fucking baby!”
“I think I have to poop,” Burg shouted. “Oh, God, this baby is coming right fucking now!”
“If you shit in my house, I’ll fucking kill you,” Knight said as he walked into the room.
“Why isn’t he doing this?” Gabe whined. “This was the deal for all of us!”
“Did you really think I was going to put sensors on Knight and risk his wrath?” Becky asked.
“What?” Cap shouted. “What about my wrath?”
“Aww,” Becky patted Cap’s cheek. “It’s cute that you think you’re as scary as him. Now, be a good boy and start pushing.”
“I fucking hate all of you!” Burg shouted. “I’m never having another kid ever again.”
Cazzo flopped back on the bed next to me, panting and sweating through his shirt. “I think I’m dying. Do these sensors cause cardiac arrest?”
I heard grunting and then screaming and looked over. Derek was leaning forward and pushing with all his might. “Somebody put a fucking screaming kid on their phone so I at least feel like this ends with something good!”
Becky left the room with a few of the ladies and wheeled in a cart of some kind. The pain stopped and we
all slumped back in our beds.
“I have a surprise for all of you,” Becky smiled and started handing out plastic babies. I cradled mine in my arms and smiled down at the cute fucker.
“He’s so cute.” Wetness spilled out onto my stomach and then something brown squirt all over me. “What the fuck is this?” The baby started screaming and suddenly came to life kicking his little feet. “What the hell? This baby is alive!”
“They’re practice babies,” Becky grinned.
“It’s shitting on me!” I screamed.
“Welcome to motherhood.”
CHAPTER TEN
Chance
“Hey.” I looked up through the grating. Mark was at the top, looking around and then back to me. “I have your food. There’s a little extra in there. I brought a box that you can put your food in. Hide it in the mud so no one can see it.”
I was confused. Why would I need a box? He opened a small section of the grate, the hinges squeaking from the rust. He lowered down a sack that was much too large for my sandwich and water. I grabbed it and pulled out the box he was talking about and dug a hole in the mud, pushing it down and disguising it as best I could. Going back to the sack, I couldn’t believe what I saw. There were several sandwiches, four water bottles, protein bars, bananas. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to be able to fit this all in the box.
“Is this for the week?”
“No, I’ll bring you food like this every day. Tomorrow, give me any garbage so I can get rid of it.”
I attached the sack back to the hook and he hauled it up, closing the grate afterwards.
“Why are you doing this?”
He looked around again, but looked conflicted as to whether or not he should tell me. “They’re holding kids at the compound, about twenty of them.”
Relief surged through me now that I knew Payton was actually here.
“There are a lot of things that I’ve done that I’m not proud of, but I won’t be involved in kidnapping kids. I’ll make sure you get extra food so that you can get your strength back. We’ll find a way to get you off this island with your kid.”
Chance Page 10