by Maira Dawn
In so many ways, Wade and Dylan still had so little. She turned and scanned the room. Are they squatters on this land? Is that still a thing? But they've come a long way from their childhood. Doubtless, the happiest they've ever been is here in this little cabin.
"So you don't own it?"
Wade's huge belly laugh filled the room. "Na. Never owned nothin in our lives except what we carried on our back. Well, 'til Uncle Pete gave Dylan that ol' truck out there. No, we was kids when we found this place, maybe 14 and 17. First, we just stayed a night here. Then Dylan said we should move out here. So, we did. It was a holy mess at first, but we settled in it anyway. Anything to get away, well, out of dad's house. It helped us keep—you know--"
"Your sanity."
"Yep, best thing we ever did. Neighbors said it'd been sitting here awhile. They didn't seem to mind us takin it over. Kinda took us in even, gave us food and the like every once in a while. Always wondered though if someone would show up and claim it one day. Guess that ain't likely to happen now." Wade smiled at the thought.
Skye chuckled. I guess there is even a good side to the apocalypse.
"But I reckon what the best thing for us wasn't the best thing for our mom. This cabin was the beginning of her end."
Skye stopped mid-cut on a potato. "What do you mean?"
Wade stammered and shifted his weight. "Well... I dunno. You ever done somethin you ain't too proud of?"
"Yeah, Wade, I've done plenty." Scenes of the worst ran through her mind.
Wade hung his head. He looked at the floor before looking at her. "A girl like you? I bet it ain't all that bad."
"Well, I guess that depends on what you call bad."
"Tell me," he demanded.
She stopped and turned to him; her voice low. "Wade."
"Tell me.” He was turning this into the ultimate Truth or Dare.
Skye hesitated, her heart fell to her stomach at the thought of revealing her secret, but if she would ever be privy to their secrets, she would have to expose hers.
"Tell me." Wade demanded again.
Some little indiscretion wouldn't do. Something weighed down Wade. He needed to see that others suffered in the same way, and she was close enough now to test her.
Still, she didn‘t know why she was willing to tell him. Maybe because she kept her story shoved so deep inside for so long. Something she wasn’t permitted to talk about, tried not to even contemplate or maybe because now it didn't matter. They may all be gone now, anyway. It can't hurt her anymore, not that way, because they can't put her away.
Skye nodded to Jesse when he asked to go out on the porch and turned back to Wade.
It still ached to relive what she had done. Her body curled inward as she wrapped her arms around herself. Skye avoided Wade's gaze and bowed her head, her dark hair half-covering her face.
The house was quiet, so quiet now as Wade waited. Skye took a moment, listening to the tiny house pings and creaks that, at a normal time, passed unnoticed.
She had no tears, the distress lay deeper than that now. Every morning she woke to it, and every night it tormented her as she slept. It was part of who she was.
Skye took a deep, unsteady breath and let out a burdened sigh. Unable to face him, she turned back to toward sink, and told him what he wanted to hear.
"I helped murder someone."
Wade stepped backward but didn't say a word.
Those words took Skye to that day, and she tightened her crossed arms. The flashing red and blue lights, flaming lights flying around her, bouncing away and back from the buildings that closed in on her.
Wide-eyed terror, that is what she remembered. The ice-cold, hard metal hood of the police vehicle, pushing against her body as the police forced her over the car. The handcuffs tightening and closing, making that little click that seemed to close her off from the rest of her life.
On that day, numbness groped its way through her, taking up residence in every part of her. She had hoped it would cut off all feeling, and maybe it did, except for the ache that lived on for such a long time. Skye shivered.
It crept over her again now, the chilly fingers pulling at her, willing her to let the emptiness in. With a feeble push, Skye chased it away but not far. It skittered back to its normal distance, just within range of her mind’s eye. She stared unseeing out the window as she told the story that appeared to her in flashes.
"College. Hazing,” Skye explained. “They were all doing it. They did it to me when I began. We drank, we all drank—them too. Maybe a bump or two. The new ones, the ones trying to get in, they had to drink the most. We made them—made them do stupid things, silly things, dangerous things. They were ours to play with as we wished.”
Skye trembled. "I helped shut the car trunks. Not hers, I don't think, but a lot. They had to stay for the night in this creepy junkyard. High, drunk, people freaked out. They screamed as we drove away.”
Skye squeezed her eyes shut. "I wasn't there when they opened the cars. They said she tried to claw her way out. Drinking, drugs, panic. I don’t know, but she was dead.
“Perhaps her heart gave out, or she ran out of air. I asked no questions. I didn't want to know.” Skye put her hands on the edge of the kitchen sink, forcing her shoulders up as she hung her head again. "That is one thing I'm not proud of."
Skye glanced at Wade. He looked stunned. He would assume a girl like her had it all. His voice turned grave when he asked, "Why ain't you in jail?"
Skye blew out a quick breath. “I was, for a little while, but I had wealthy parents and a powerful grandfather with connections. He got me out—out of it all."
With her back still to Wade, she removed her hands from the sink and re-wrapped her arms around her middle. "Totally erased—can't even tell I ever was on the property. That's another thing I'm not proud of. All the others had to pay, and I should’ve paid too."
Wade stayed silent, but Skye’s ears pounded with the rush of her pounding heart. Her cheeks burned. What would he think of her now?
Skye dragged herself around to face Wade. But, his wasn't the first face she saw. It was Dylan's.
15
Not Enough
Dylan took a step back, out of the doorway, turned and walked away, berating himself. Skye’s face had paled when she saw him standing there. This was something she wished to share with Wade. Not him.
When Skye spotted him, tears of shame had filled her eyes. They had almost been his undoing. She hadn't wanted him to know.
Her story shook him to the core. He would have never guessed. I guess I always expected people like her to have everything together, and here she is carrying that around.
Dylan stopped and kicked at the ground. It was a surprise that Wade and her were that close. He thought his brother got under her skin.
Well, of course, he did, only not in the way I thought. All the times I’ve been out hunting or scavenging while her and the boy were at the cabin with Wade. He’s always had a way with people once they get acquainted with him. When they push past his annoying side, they love him. Who knows what's been going on when I'm not here?
Dylan scraped at the ground again and blew out a heavy sigh as he rubbed the center of his chest. I've let myself get too attached. With one last glance over his shoulder at the cabin, he headed to the forest.
When Dylan returned to the house that day, Skye, Wade, and Jesse were in the yard. Wade gave Jesse some pointers on the snare he was trying to set up, and Jesse immediately put them to use. It looked like he took to it naturally.
The lawn was littered with the camping equipment from Skye’s Jeep, and she stood in the middle of it all. Her face got redder and redder as she tried, without success, to set up a large tent. Wade snickered at her attempts, and Dylan couldn’t stop himself from chuckling as he watched from a distance. When Wade saw Dylan, he nodded him over.
Skye glared at Wade when she heard his laughter. "What are you laughing at? It says easy. It is not easy!" She huffed her word
s out between heavy breaths. "If you were a nice man, you would come over here and help me."
"Yeah, well, I ain't never said I was a nice man." Wade looked at Dylan, nodded toward Skye, and winked.
Dylan sighed. Yeah, I get it, bro. Your layin claim.
Regardless, Dylan took pity on Skye. He walked over, picked up the correct pole and handed it to her. "Skye, you need a tent, but what's all this other stuff?" His arm swung over the outdoor kitchen complete with sink, stove and even a paper towel holder. Then the hot outdoor shower with its own privacy curtain and a portable toilet.
Skye avoided Dylan's gaze, instead looking at the ground and the tent, anywhere it seemed but him. "The sales guy said it would make camping easier. If I have to camp, I don't want it to be just the dirt and me."
"Sounds like the sales guy fed you a bunch of bull to line his pockets," Wade said as he continued to grin.
“Skye,” Dylan said, “Some people may camp like this, but not us, and you’re with us now.”
“But Jesse—”
Dylan snorted. “Don’t be bringing the boy into this, he’s slept in a hole in the ground more’n once. He don’t need all this to survive.”
Skye stepped back and looked at Jesse, who shrugged. Dylan wasn’t sure if she was more surprised over the information or the fact that Jesse already felt close enough to Dylan to tell him these things. Guess we’re all lettin out the past now.
She let go of the tent, letting it fall to the ground, and flapped her arms. "What then?"
Dylan pointed to Skye‘s cabin tent. “That's too big. Not only can you not set it up quick but it's for about twelve people.” Moving over to the rest of her equipment, he said, “You need about a third of this, even less once we show you how to live out there.”
Skye puffed out a breath, disturbing some hair that had fallen forward on her face. “Fine then.” She brushed the loose hair back and stepped out of the jumbled items.
She still won‘t even peek at me.
“I hope you didn't waste as much on it as it looks like you did,” Wade said.
“I did.” Skye shook her head and shrugged. “It‘s only money.”
Dylan and Wade exchanged a glance. When Jesse saw it, he piped up, "Ya, Skye's filthy rich, just filthy. I was at her house once. It's crazy. She has..."
"Jesse." Skye patiently stopped him, her face turning pink. "Things don't matter, remember? I probably won’t ever live in my house again and no one is rich now. Not in that way."
Skye awkwardly turned to Dylan. "Please show me what I really need."
Dylan and Skye pared down the camping supplies to necessities while Jesse worked on his snare. When they were done, Dylan looked over what they had accomplished. “Well, that looks fine. Good job.”
Dylan glanced at Skye, hoping to lighten the mood between them, and sent her an amused glance. “Next time,” he threatened her, “I think I'll show you how to set a snare and skin the catch.”
Skye put her hands on her hips as her eyes sparkled. “Well then, I think I’m turning vegetarian.” Dylan uttered a deep chuckle as he walked away.
When Skye laid her hand on Dylan’s arm, he glanced from that to her face. She bite her lip, looking up at him with nervous green eyes. "So, you don't hate me now?"
Dylan frowned. "What are you talkin about?"
She bowed her head. “What you overheard in the kitchen. Do you... does that... I don't know…“ She fluttered her hand away from him.
Dylan gentled his voice. "No, I don't hate you. You were a kid, and you did a stupid thing. Kids do stupid things."
She shook her head and raised it. Once more looking directly at his face, "It was more than that. I was an entitled, self-involved, rich brat who assumed she could do anything she wanted without consequences."
"Maybe, but you ain't like that now. You're better." Dylan laid his hand on her shoulder and let his thumb stroke her arm.
"Maybe." Skye looked at the ground. “I try to do better. I’m a work-in-progress—like most people, I guess. At least, that’s what I try to tell myself.”
Dylan caught the downward curve of her lip and heard a small sniff as she half-turned away. He turned her back. "Skye, you are. Look at all the good you've done. Look at that boy over there."
Skye nodded. “It never seems enough though.”
"I know that too." Dylan folded his arms around her then remembered Wade. When Dylan looked over Skye’s head at his brother, Wade gave him a knowing expression and a raised eyebrow.
Is he wanting me to back off? Dylan stepped back, muttering something to Skye about snares and walked off.
16
Happy for You
That evening, Skye and Jesse debated which card game to play. Skye wrinkled her face and rolled her eyes at Wade's obvious suggestion of strip poker and ignored him. Deciding on Go Fish, Skye and Jesse invited the men, but they refused. Dylan seemed to keep his distance, instead preferring to clean his weapons at the kitchen table. Wade stated if they would not play a game he wanted, he would not play theirs.
Skye and Jesse sat on the floor, spreading the cards out between them. As they played, Jesse happily chatted with all of them. "We used to play games during my sessions all the time. Skye always let me pick the game."
Skye prompted him. "Which was always...”
"Jenga, of course, because you suck at it, and I always, always win."
"Yes, thanks for that, by the way." Skye laughed at both his pride and the truth of his words.
"So, what did you have sessions for? You crazy, kid?" Wade asked.
Skye sighed. Well, he’s in a mood. Leave it to Wade to undo weeks of therapy.
But Jesse took it in stride, answering him with his same bubbly manner. "No, I got taken from my dad, so I had to see a therapist."
Wade opened his mouth again to continue with what Skye could only assume would be another stupid remark, so she shot him a "You better shut it" look. At that Wade hoisted himself out of his recliner to sift through the vast array of chips that still occupied the side table in the kitchen.
Dylan grumbled at his brother in a low voice Skye couldn’t catch, then stretched out on the floor beside Jesse. "You played games at therapy? Sounds like fun."
“Yeah, Skye's pretty fun. Course she had to do some things for her job, so she had to ask me questions now and then, but mostly, it was fun.” Jesse turned to her with a glint in his eye. “Cause I beat her butt every time in Jenga."
Skye smirked at him surprised he admitted it was entertaining because as far as she could recall, he'd spent much of it in a sullen mood. She poked him in the ribs. "Hey, I was busy being the world's best therapist. It's hard to do that and win games too."
"Oh yeah,” Jesse taunted, “but I bet if we had a Jenga game here you'd still lose."
"Um, we’ll just have to wonder about that since we don't have one," she teased.
Dylan seemed more at ease with Jesse tonight than Skye ever remembered him. A shadow of a smile rested on his mouth. It was not a teasing smirk or a sarcastic snort, those she had experienced before but the grin of a happy man. It reminded her of the first time Jesse had smiled that way for her. Just the tiniest upturn of the lips, a subtle softening of the face. One didn't dare show you noticed, or it would evaporate at once.
She wondered if Dylan would be the same. Skye caught Dylan's eye and shared a small smile of her own. He returned her grin for a few seconds, then glanced at Wade and cleared his throat.
Dylan hopped to his feet. “Welp, I better finish those dishes.”
Skye allowed her eyes to settle on Dylan’s back. Well, that is an improvement to what he would have done a few days ago.
Skye checked herself. She was drawing closer to all three of them much faster than she had anticipated. Jesse, she had expected and looked forward to, but the two men, especially Dylan—that was a surprise.
Uneasy, she resettled herself on the floor. She was leaving. Becoming emotionally closer to someone, relying on them,
that wasn’t part of the plan and would only make it harder when it came time to leave.
Skye bit the inside of her cheek and ran a finger down the pattern of wood grain floor as she realized how often her gaze turned to Dylan if he were near, and how many times her thoughts strayed to him when he wasn’t. When they were in the same vicinity, Skye sensed his intense stare lingering on her, and more often than not, he would end up beside her.
Her mind wandered to her disastrous marriage. It was a sharp reminder of how inept she was at relationships. And that is why I stay away from men, I'm not ready for this.
Skye stared at Dylan as he stood at the sink, his back to her. She followed the motion of his body as he slid a cloth over a shiny, tan-colored plate. His broad shoulders swayed back and forth; biceps jumped in tandem with the movement of his rough hands in the sudsy water.
Attraction battled her uncertainty as amusement over what she found attractive slipped over it all. I have to say there is nothing sexier than watching a man do the dishes.
Skye forced her gaze away instead looking out the window at the rolling, green-topped mountains. As soon as I hear from Tom, the decision will be out of my hands. I’ll be going home.
Wade nodded his head to Skye when she tipped hers indicating she was headed outside. Jesse bounded up off the floor and followed her. Wade watched as they jumped off the porch laughing, a warm spot growing in his chest. It was real nice having them here. He liked it.
He flung a glance Dylan’s way as his brother returned to the table. Dylan sat in his chair, muscles tight, as if he expected to burst out of it at any time. Wade shook his head. He wished he could say it was his brother’s nervousness over Skye and Jesse outside alone, as his quick glances to them gave away, but it wasn’t. Dylan had been this way since he was a boy, and it was his quick reflexes that had saved him a ton of hurt when their father had come after him. If Dylan hadn’t given up that stance by now, he had to wonder if he ever would. Did the man ever really rest?