“They all must hate me,” she whispered. “All of them…”
“I mean, I don’t think it was one of your more endearing moments, but hate might be a strong word.”
“I hate me right now.” Her words were soft and hollow and full of pain. The pain of someone who was lost. The pain of someone trying to be found.
I sat beside her and took her hand in mine again. “If there’s anything I’ve learned about the pack, it’s that they’re loyal to those they care about—almost to a fault.”
She shot me a sideward glare. “Not helping…”
“I’m just saying that your estimation of how they feel might not be accurate.”
“Or it could be spot on.”
I took a deep breath. “Only one way to find out, I’m afraid…” I stood up and pulled her to her feet. “I love you, Kat. You’re my best friend, and because you’re my best friend, I’ve learned a lot from you about when to cut someone some slack and when to call bullshit. Today, I’m calling bullshit. You fucked up, and now you need to face it. Show them who you really are, Kat. The depths that lie beneath all that fire and zero-fucks-given. You are more than the face you choose to show the world, my friend. It’s not weakness to let others see it.”
I started toward the door with Kat in tow. Before I could move the dresser and open it, she yanked me back into her and hugged me tightly.
“I’m not a bad person,” she whispered in my ear. Then she choked on a sob.
“I know that,” I replied, holding her tighter. “You just make shit decisions when you’re backed into a corner. I know a thing or two about that.”
“Yeah you do,” she said with a laugh. “You have two boyfriends to show for it…”
I pulled away from her, and she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Do you want to stay here for a bit?”
“In your den of sex? I think not. But do me a favor before we go?”
“Anything.”
“Punch me in the nose.”
“What?”
“Punch. Me. In. The. Nose,” she repeated, sounding every bit as put-upon as she possibly could. She sounded very Kat-like in that moment. Looked it, too.
I smiled as I cocked my arm. “Hard?”
She nodded. “Hard as you can.”
“Is this some sort of weird punishment?”
“If I wanted to be punished, I’d let someone with a meaner right cross do it—"
Before she could finish her thought, I slammed my fist into her face. Her head snapped back, and she took a step to catch her balance. Blood trickled out of her right nostril onto her lips. She licked it away and smiled.
Kat was officially back. “Someone’s been practicing.”
“I have two overbearing boyfriends, remember? Someone has to keep them in line.”
She shook her head and laughed as she shoved the dresser aside and opened my bedroom door. She strode out into the hall like she hadn’t a care in the world. Like she hadn’t just had a breakdown in my room. But instead of raising red flags, her behavior seemed appropriate. She wasn’t running from her guilt or pain this time. She was finding a way to integrate them.
“So…the nose…?”
“Ah yes. It makes your eyes water. Easier to believe than me crying, don’t you think?”
I looped my arm around her waist. “We’re going to have to work on this vulnerability thing, aren’t we?”
“You can try.”
She flashed me her signature smile, and we laughed our way down the back stairs toward the kitchen full of werewolves at the bottom. How that scenario was going to play out, I had no idea, but I had to give her credit for not running away. Because that was who Kat was: fearless. Reckless. Brave.
And no amount of insecurity about her past would ever change that.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The kitchen went silent the second we walked in.
Kat shouldered the weight of wolves’ stares like a pro, but it hurt to watch her do it. They didn’t know what I knew, but I also knew she wasn’t ready to share that with them yet. Maybe she never would be. Instead of addressing them, she headed for the fridge and pulled out two apples. Then she walked over to where Brunton stood by the stove and held one out to him. She said nothing, just stood there, arm outstretched.
He looked at her, then the apple. “That didn’t end well for Adam.”
“It likely won’t end well for you, either,” she countered before taking a bite of hers, “but it’s delicious…”
“I’m sure it is. That doesn’t mean I want it.”
From the side, I saw her expression falter for the briefest moment. “Should I offer it to someone else, then?”
“Didn’t you already do that?”
The muscles in her jaw flexed. “That wasn’t an apple…”
“No. It wasn’t,” he agreed, pushing off the counter. He walked past her and out of the kitchen without another word.
Kat recovered quickly, turning to face the others. When she found Jagger in the crowd, she threw the apple to him. He flinched when he caught it.
“Don’t worry, Jags. It’s just a piece of fruit.”
Then she disappeared up the butler’s staircase.
The twenty-plus wolves all looked to me, their eyes full of questions their mouths would never utter. They knew better than that.
“It’s complicated,” I finally said before heading for the door Brunton had left through.
“Go easy on him, Piper,” Jagger called after me. I gave him a sad smile and headed down the hall in search of the surly werewolf. He had every right to feel how he felt, but I needed him to understand the why behind it all, even if it changed nothing. Even if I was reading the whole situation wrong. Because if I wasn’t, it would all be ruined if I did nothing. The two of them were stubborn asses.
Kat had tried to make amends in her own way, and after his reaction, she never would again.
I hoped Brunton would succeed where she had failed.
***
“Can I come in?”
I poked my head through the crack in the door. Brunton looked at me, a weariness in his eyes that I’d never seen before. Another tiny piece of my heart broke.
“Piper, I know why you’re here, but I’m really not in the mood for a lecture right now—”
“I’m not mad, Brunton. I just want to say something and then go. That’s all.”
He sighed heavily, then nodded. “Go ahead.”
“I don’t want to make any assumptions about you and Kat, but I do want you to know that what she did…she’s hurting, Brunton. Kat doesn’t do feelings well at all. She fights them—stuffs them down until even she forgets they exist. Then they break through unexpectedly, and she just reacts in an attempt to make them go away again. What she did—”
“I know why she did it, Piper. And I’m not mad. I’m trying to give her what she asked for—so to speak.”
My features scrunched with confusion. “You’re not mad?”
Another heavy sigh. “I lost someone once, and it turned my world upside down. I’m not saying it was the same as Kat and Jensen, but it was equally destructive to me. I was angry—so angry—and I lashed out at anyone and everyone brave enough to dare to be near me. When I went to Knox, he barely recognized me because I was a shell of who I’d once been. Those guys—shit—those poor bastards have seen it all from me. Weathered it all. Foust threatened to bury me alive one night when I was being a particularly massive asshole. I thought he was going to do it, too, but Knox made him stop. Instead, he built one of those goddamn bonfires and wouldn’t let me go back into the house until I dealt with baggage.” He scrubbed his hand over his beard and let out a breath. “Three days we sat out there…Knox wouldn’t let me move until I owned my shit.” He looked at me, his light brown eyes glowing slightly. “I raged like the beast I am until the anger was gone.”
“What happened then?” I asked, my question a mere whisper.
“I broke down like I should have the day He
ather died instead of bottling it all up and letting it kill me from the inside out.”
“Brunton, I’m so—”
“I’m telling you this so you’ll understand that I get who Kat is. Where she is right now. If she needs me to leave her alone, then I will.”
“I don’t think Kat knows what she needs,” I said softly. “She was trying to apologize downstairs.”
“I know that, Piper. But she’s not ready to. I need her to figure her shit out and then come to me, and that hasn’t happened yet. She may have started to, but she’s not done.”
I bit my cheek, thinking about how awkward things were going to be between her and the pack from now on.
“I understand…” I turned to leave, but Brunton caught my arm.
“I’ll talk to the boys—smooth things over for her.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Another fissure carved itself into my heart. “You know, you’re not the asshole I once thought you were.” My smile widened, and he laughed.
“Oh, I am. I’m just a healthier asshole now.”
I headed toward the door just as Foust and Jagger walked in. They took one look at the two of us and froze.
“It’s cool, guys. I didn’t threaten his life or anything.” I looked over my shoulder at Brunton, and he nodded. “I think we have things all squared away for now.”
I pushed past the others and headed for my room. The day had brought nothing but drama on every front possible, and I just wanted a respite from it all. But as it so often went, that was not to be.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
A text from Drake came in as I made my way down the hall toward the foyer. I tried to open it but got hijacked by Kat in the process.
“We need to get out of here,” she whispered in my ear as she rushed me up the grand staircase. She didn’t stop until we were in her room, the door locked behind us. She ran around collecting random things and stuffing them into a bag.
“You look like you’re running away,” I said.
She stopped and gave me an incredulous look over her shoulder. “I do a lot of things, Piper, but running away isn’t one of them.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m getting shit we might need to go deal with the fey king.”
“Um…”
“We’re going to sneak down to Liam and make him take us to the fey king’s side of Faerie before that asshole shows up here again.”
She threw the bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the room—a woman clearly on a mission. The suicide kind.
And I followed right behind her.
We hadn’t gone far before a growl rang through the hallway. For a moment, I wondered if Knox had busted us. But it wasn’t his growl. This one was deeper. Fuller. And it belonged to a very unhappy grizzly bear.
One I hadn’t seen for what seemed like ages.
I stepped out from behind Kat to find my furry guardian at the far end of the hall, hackles raised and head low. His brown eyes stared at us in a way they never had before. Kat and I both stopped cold.
“Were you listening at the door again?” I asked, trying to flip his guilt trip on him. “And where have you been, anyway? You just up and disappear, only to come back and give us shit? You don’t even know what we’re up to!”
My effort was met with a front paw stomp that shook the floor. So much for our attempt at stealth.
“Hey big guy,” Kat said, walking toward him, “this isn’t the day to get your fur in a twist. If you want in on the plan, just say so. You don’t have to—”
Her words cut short when he lunged at her, teeth bared and claws raised. She sidestepped him with ease, but there was nothing easy in her expression. Sheer disbelief overtook her face, her mouth slack and eyes wide. He turned his lowered head to challenge her again.
“Grizz!” I yelled, drawing his attention. “Knock it off right now!” I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs, the commotion having drawn the others. They picked up speed as I continued to chastise my guardian. “What’s gotten into you?” I asked as I stormed toward him.
He whipped his head to me and growled.
“Piper,” Kat said calmly. “Don’t. Move.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Knox asked. I dared a look back at him, Foust, and Jagger. Apparently, my fear was written all over my face, because it only took a moment for realization to settle on theirs. Once it did, a low chorus of growls rang out from the other end of the hall.
“Grizz is having a bit of a mood swing,” Kat said, “and I don’t suspect your aggression is going to help things much.”
“What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked, sadness overcoming my fear. I wanted to know what was going on—why my guardian was acting this way. I wanted to help him. “Kat wasn’t taking me against my will. And you could have come…”
I reached my hand toward him to run my fingers through the thick fur on his neck, as I always did. It calmed us both, which we needed in that moment. But the second I got too close, he snapped his teeth at me, and all hell broke loose.
The trio of wolves shot down the hall, Changing in the process. With Grizz distracted, Kat snatched me out of the way.
“Use your magic!” she screamed at me to be heard over the howling of the wolves descending upon the bear. “Someone is going to die if you don’t, Piper. Do something now!”
I flung out my arms along with a desperate plea. “Stop!”
The wolves ground to a halt just shy of the still-growling bear. They were all frozen in place, but it did nothing to improve their moods, and I was fresh out of ideas.
“Piper?” Merc called from the end of the hall. “What in the world—”
“The bear’s gone crazy,” Kat said. “He attacked us.”
Merc’s expression turned murderous. “Then he dies.”
“No!” I screamed, terrified for Grizz. I pulled out my phone to find another text from Drake—this one peppered with colorful language—demanding to be let inside. “Drake’s outside. Just let him in. Please. He’ll know what to do.” I met Merc’s cold gaze with my tear-filled one, and his rage simmered. “I can’t let them hurt him, Merc. We have to help him…”
Merc exhaled hard and disappeared for a moment; then he ghosted into the hall with my uncle. One look at the situation and Drake’s face went grim.
“Something’s wrong with Grizz,” I said, choking back a sob. “He’d never hurt me or Kat…you have to help him.”
“Step back,” he said, storming down the hall toward us. “Both of you.”
Kat and I reluctantly complied.
“He might be acting like a total dick right now,” Kat said, “but if you hurt so much as a tuft of fur on his body, I will make you regret it, warlock. Understand?”
My uncle shot her an irritated glance and continued on until he stood before the growling bear, still frozen in place. The amulet around Drake’s neck flared to life, a vibrant, blinding blue light forcing us to look away.
“The fey queen is to blame for this,” he said. “This is her doing.”
Suddenly, her earlier warning made sense. She’d said there’d be a price to pay for tricking her. Taking Grizz’s humanity seemed to be the cost of our actions.
“Can you fix him?” I asked, no longer trying to withhold my pain. Kat’s arm wound around my shoulders and held me tightly as she held her breath.
“I’m not sure…” My heart plummeted to my stomach. “She cannot sever your warlock connection to him because he is your guardian, good or bad. But she can tamper with your call to him on an elemental level—disrupt the bond that you two share. You have what you have with Grizz because of your unique DNA, Piper. Even with the amulet, I’m not sure I can restore what she has taken.”
Drake rested his hand atop the beast’s head and closed his eyes. I closed mine, too, unable to watch whatever was going on. If he couldn’t bring Grizz back to me, a part of me would break. A part that would never be whole again.
“Give me your hand, Piper.”
Eyes closed, I reached toward him, fumbling through the air until my fingers met his. The second they did, I could feel magic coursing through him, strong and pulsing like a living thing. I whispered a command to help him—to give whatever I had that could help bring Grizz back. Heat surged through me, and I could feel the fire consuming me. I pushed through it, sending that inferno through me into Drake, allowing that magic to overcome the fey queen’s. It was all I had to offer, so I freely gave it until my knees went weak and I heard Merc’s low voice in my ear, begging me to stop.
A cold hand clamped down on my shoulder and pulled me away, breaking the bond I’d shared with Drake.
“Come back to me,” Merc whispered as he held me tightly.
I forced my eyes open to find Drake staring at me in disbelief and horror, and a very naked Grizz, in human form, avoiding my gaze. His shoulders were slumped and his head hung low enough for his dark, shaggy hair to hide his eyes. The second I realized he was himself again, I wriggled free from Merc and ran to him.
“Grizz!” I shouted, throwing my arms around his waist. He didn’t react at all. “It’s okay, buddy. It wasn’t your fault.” Still, he didn’t react. “Grizz?” I called softly, pulling away from him. “Grizz, look at me.”
Those warm brown eyes that I loved so much dared to peek at me through his hair. The sadness they held impaled me.
“Oh buddy,” I sighed, hugging him once again. This time, he held me in return. “It’s not your fault, okay? You had no control over it. I know you didn’t mean to scare us—or hurt us. The fey queen did this, and I am going to make that bitch pay.”
He growled at the mention of her, and the tension in the hall shot through the roof.
“Maybe lay off the growling for a bit, okay?” I said, choking on a laugh. “I’m not sure the boys are going to take it well. Merc, either, for that matter.”
I looked up at him and found the faintest of smiles ghosting his expression. Then his eyes snapped over my head to Kat, who stepped behind me.
“Feeling more yourself now?” she asked. His smile grew. “Good, because I would really hate to have to kick your ass if you ever do shit like that again.”
Beneath the Dust (Force of Nature Book 4) Page 18