by Maya Banks
She nodded and reached for the small bag of food in her saddlebag.
“I’ll see to the horse, Senorita,” Juan Miguel said as he led his horse over. He collected the reins from her and led the horses several feet from where Ridge was starting the fire.
She glanced at Robby then eased over to him. “Want to have dinner with me?”
He grinned. “Is that a proposition?”
She laughed. “You’re incorrigible. But yes. I’m proposing you eat with me. Preferably by the fire so we can see what we’re eating.”
“After you,” he said with a slight bow.
They joined Ridge just as he sat back on his heels. The fire licked at the dry wood, steadily growing larger until flames lit a large perimeter around them. They settled down on the ground, India crossing her legs under her. Robby sat on a smooth rock and drew his knees to his chin.
India portioned out chunks of bread and cheese, handing Robby his share then holding Ridge’s out to him. Next she pulled out a bottle of wine and held it out to Ridge for him to open.
He moved closer to her and took a swig from the bottle before handing it to her. She tipped it up and let the liquid pour into her mouth. It was coarse, but it tasted like manna.
She wiped her mouth on the back of her sleeve then passed the wine on to Robby.
After she finished her food, she leaned her head back and gazed at her surroundings. It was quiet. Only the occasional popping of the fire intruded on the silence.
Orion loomed over them. They were camped a mile or so from the base. But what of the cradle of the moon? Was it literal or figurative in meaning? And did Juan Miguel know the path to the doorway? Was there an actual doorway?
She sighed. As much as she thought she knew about Pagoria, in fact, she knew little. Here she stood, poised to enter a city that hadn’t been touched by civilization in centuries. Shouldn’t she feel something more than the hollow ache in her chest?
She glanced over at Ridge and found him studying her. His eyes were so full of...well, there was a mixture swirling in his dark eyes. The flames of the fire only heightened the illusion of torment she saw there.
He didn’t look any worse than she felt.
Juan Miguel shuffled into the light cast by the fire and stood a moment as if to warm himself. The air was cooler here. Almost chilly.
“We are not far,” he said quietly, almost reverently. “Beyond De Reloj is the gateway to the city. We will travel through the village in the morning. Then I will leave you to continue on. I can go no farther.”
India’s eyes shot upward. “I don’t understand. What village do you speak of and why cannot you continue on?”
Ridge leaned forward, his expression as tense as India felt. Even Robby seemed riveted by the Spaniard’s words.
Juan Miguel cast a look toward Orion. “De Reloj guards the entrance though no one outside the village realizes this.” He shrugged. “And few would think to look in a populated spot for the doorway. Most assume it would have been found by now if it was close to civilization.”
He turned and looked at India. “As to why I cannot continue, I am forbidden. I cannot take you into the city. Your choices will decide whether you are worthy to enter. My duty was to see you safely here.”
“And my father? Is he there already? Where is he?”
“Seek and ye shall find,” he said simply.
Shock shot up India’s spine at hearing the Biblical words. Something tugged at her memory, a lingering familiarity. She was reminded of something. But what?
She shook her head.
“Well then, it certainly sounds as though we’ll have a lively day,” Robby said with a yawn. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to turn in.”
“I will keep watch,” Juan Miguel said as he turned and walked away.
India watched Robby lay out his bedroll away from the fire. After a few seconds, he crawled under his blanket and settled down.
How could anyone sleep at a time like this?
Her eyes skittered to Ridge, and felt slightly better that he looked as bemused as she was. He rose from the ground and walked out of the light. She stared after him in curiosity. In a few moments, he returned, dragging a log with him.
He positioned it on the other side of the fire from where Robby lay then returned to where India sat. He began collecting the blankets then extended a hand to help her up.
She let him pull her up, curious as to his intentions. She shivered as his hand slid up to her elbow, and he guided her over to the log.
“I don’t know about you, but after hearing all that Juan Miguel had to say, I find I’m not in the least sleepy,” he said. “I thought we could relax and enjoy the evening.”
She smiled and leaned in closer to him. His eyes glittered in the firelight. They stroked her as surely as if he did so with his hands. Her lips parted with a breathy sigh. “Kiss me,” she whispered.
He made a sound of torture and splayed his hand over her cheek, cupping it and guiding her to his lips. Once, twice, at first light flitting kisses. Then the third time, he took full possession of her mouth.
Barely an inch between them, he whispered, his breath blowing over her chin. “There is so much I want for us, India. I never imagined finding someone like you. Someone who understands me and accepts me for who I am.”
“I want too,” she said in a low voice, making herself return his gaze.
But what I want, I can’t have. At least not in a way where we would both be happy.
He pulled her down with him and settled his back against the log. He opened his arm for her to nestle in the crook of his shoulder. She went willingly, loving the closeness. She nestled her head on his broad chest, inhaling his masculine scent. For a moment, she closed her eyes and just breathed. She wanted to commit this night to memory. And the last night. She would keep them with her always.
She gazed upward, awed by the brilliant display of stars. They seemed brighter here. She had never truly enjoyed the night until now.
“You are right, you know,” she murmured.
He turned his head toward her. “And what am I right about?”
“The night. It is beautiful.”
He squeezed her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. “You had good reason to fear the dark.”
“Yes, I did, but I think I spent too long allowing my demons to win. I should have confronted them long before you made me see they could no longer hurt me.”
He turned her face to him. “I’m glad you no longer hurt so much, India. The idea of what you went through, well, it makes me feel things I’ve never been prone to feeling.”
She arched an eyebrow and chuckled. “Oh do tell, and what are these feelings I inspire?”
He grimaced. “I can honestly say that since meeting you, I have become well acquainted with rage, helplessness, fear, and longing,” he finished softly.
“And Lucinda?” she asked lightly. “She never inspired these emotions?”
“I think loathing and humiliation are the only two I can honestly say she inspired. I won’t lie to you, I fancied myself in love with her, but when she jilted me, I didn’t feel the loss. I didn’t mourn. I was angry and embarrassed, but more at how she made me look than the idea that I had lost my fiancée.”
India smiled and touched his cheek with her hand. “You’ve inspired your share of emotions in me as well.”
His eyes darkened, the glow of the fire making him seem almost dangerous in his desire. “I do hope love is one of those.”
Pain pricked her heart, spreading, growing until her throat was on fire. Oh yes, she loved him. She nodded, unable to speak. She looked away for a moment, her temples aching. Her soul aching. She knew deep down that they couldn’t be together, but what if...what if she could somehow make him want just her and not a life of adventure with her.
“Tell me,” she began. “Have you ever thought about what your life would be like after marrying?”
The corn
er of his mouth lifted wryly. “I am ashamed to say that I was willing to sacrifice everything I had been working for when I decided to marry Lucinda. I was prepared to be dutiful, not anger my father, marry the perfect woman, breed heirs and rusticate at my country estate.”
He shifted beside her and she laid her head on his chest once more, not wanting him to see the pain she knew was evident on her face. How could she possibly hide such agony? She knew what he was going to say.
“The first thing I vowed when the mess with Lucinda was over, was that I would never betray myself that way again. To thine own self be true. A timeless saying wouldn’t you say?”
She nodded against him, a sob caught in her throat.
“That’s why I’m so glad I found you, India,” he said softly. “You are the one person I know who would never ask me to live a life contrary to my desires. I admire you, you know. For years you led your own life, went your own way, and never bowed to the dictates of others.”
But it wasn’t my own life, she wanted to scream. It was her father’s life. She had no choice after her mother died. She loved her father dearly, but she would have given anything for him to grow weary of his way of life and return them to England where he could retire and lead a normal life.
Silence fell and Ridge stroked his hand up and down her arm as she laid still on his chest. She felt his chest rise as if he was going to speak and then he exhaled slowly. His heart beat a bit more fiercely, and she wondered what he was struggling to say.
“Who were the others?” he finally asked, his voice casual. But she could feel the tension emanating from him. He sounded so unsure.
“I don’t understand,” she said, her brow crinkling as she tried to make sense of his question.
His breath caught in his chest again then released in a slow whoosh. “The other men you’ve been with. Made love with.”
Her mouth formed a silent O. It hadn’t even occurred to her that he would question the fact that she wasn’t a virgin. Heat crowded her cheeks, and the fire could not be blamed.
She shoved away from him slightly so she could see his expression. But there was no condemnation in his eyes. Merely curiosity and something else. Insecurity.
She cleared her throat. “There was only one. And...I was young. And foolish. It’s all very embarrassing,” she said, glancing away.
“Did you fancy him?” Ridge asked.
She sighed. “I thought I did, but in reality, he was only interested in divesting me of my clothing.”
“Who was he?”
“An English soldier from a regiment stationed in India. I was rather homesick, and I latched onto his interest. I thought he was my way home.”
She shrugged. “After he bedded me, I never saw him again.”
Ridge frowned. “The bastard.”
“And what about you?” she asked teasingly. “Surely if you question my past, I have the right to know of your scores of lovers.”
To her complete amazement, he blushed. She smiled wider as he fidgeted.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he muttered.
“Try me,” she challenged.
He took a deep breath and stared at her as if daring her to laugh. “You were my first.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“But, you were so...”
“So, what?” he demanded.
“So good at it,” she said, her face on fire.
He grinned. “Thank you.”
Her fingers trailed down his cheek, and she smoothed a tendril of hair behind his ear. “Why me? Why not another woman?”
He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips. “I don’t really know, but I always felt I was waiting for something, someone special. It sounds trite. Rather silly actually, but I couldn’t bring myself to share the most intimate of acts with just anyone.”
She smiled, her cheeks aching from the burst of joy she felt. What woman would not die to hear such words from a man who loved her? Just for a moment she could forget everything that was wrong and concentrate on the very rightness of this moment.
“I do love you, Ridge,” she said, needing to say the words.
He frowned slightly. “I hear a but in there somewhere.”
She flinched. “No buts. I love you.”
“And I love you. I ache from loving you,” he said hoarsely.
She put a finger to his lips. “Why don’t you show me.”
If the future was one big question mark, she wanted to live the present to the fullest. There would never be another man for her after Ridge.
“I think I’ll do just that,” he said, a wicked gleam in his eye. “And then you can tell me how good I am at it.”
Her laughter was muffled as his mouth found hers.
Above them, the stars burned ever bright, and India reveled in the night. And for the first time, she dreaded the dawn.
Chapter Thirty
India woke for the second morning in a row snug in her lover’s arms. It was a sensation she could grow accustomed to with alarming speed.
She opened one eye to see the soft light of dawn bathing their campsite. She let out a sigh of regret. Even she could see the irony over her reluctance to meet the morning.
The fire had long burned down, and ashes swirled and scattered along the ground as a soft breeze played havoc with the charred logs.
She wiggled slightly, burrowing deeper into Ridge’s chest. Not wanting to disturb the complete satisfaction she felt, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply.
Ridge’s hand went to her hair, stroking lightly over the curls. She sighed again at the magic his fingers worked.
“Good morning,” he murmured, his chest rumbling beneath her cheek.
She raised her head and kissed him deeply. “Good morning.”
“Mmmm I like the way you wake up.”
She laughed. “And I like the way you put me to bed.”
“If you two are quite finished coddling each other, perhaps we can prepare to depart,” Robby said.
India whipped around to see Robby standing a few feet away, his eyes sparking mischievously. She was relieved to see no sign of pain in his features.
India crawled off Ridge then extended her hand down to help him up. When he came to stand beside her, she caught him staring inquisitively at her. Brooding almost
“Today is the day. To think we might finally see the city,” Ridge said.
Try as she might, she could not muster the same excitement. There was too much she didn’t know. Was her father still alive? And would they be permitted to enter the city? A trickle of dread snaked up her spine. For that matter would they find it? Without Juan Miguel’s guide, they were walking blind.
She rubbed her arms, warding off a chill.
“Cold?” Ridge asked as he offered her a blanket.
She shook her head. “Just nervous. I don’t like the idea of going it without Juan Miguel.”
“I don’t either,” Ridge muttered. “But we’ll just have to make the best of it.”
“Let’s saddle up,” Juan Miguel called out.
India looked to see him untying the horses from the tree they were tethered to. Ridge reached out and squeezed her hand.
“We’ll find your father,” he vowed.
She took comfort in the confidence she heard in his voice.
“The village is but an hour’s ride,” Juan Miguel said as they swung onto their horses and took out.
Her stomach twisted, making her glad she hadn’t eaten anything yet this morning.
Tension was thick in the air. Even Juan Miguel seemed guarded. India glanced left and right at Ridge and Robby who rode on either side of her. Ridge drifted further ahead, but India made no effort to keep pace.
“India, do you suppose...do you suppose there is something special about Pagoria?” Robby asked breaking the silence.
India didn’t miss the emphasis
but she wasn’t sure what exactly he was asking.
“I’m not sure I follow you,” she replied.
He shifted uncomfortably in his saddle. “I did a lot of reading about Pagoria when I learned that Ridge was mounting an expedition and had enlisted your help. Many say that it houses special powers. Others say it is a holy city. Sacred.”
She nodded. “I suppose there are a lot of theories floating around.”
“But do you believe it holds special powers?”
There was a hint of desperation in his voice. An edge that made her look sharply at him. At the hope shining in his eyes. Suddenly she realized what he was about, and her heart plummeted.
“Oh Robby,” she said sorrowfully. “Is that why you were so determined to come? Because you believe you might find healing there?”
“You think me addled,” Robby muttered.
“No,” she hastened to reassure him. “It’s just that I don’t want you to be disappointed in whatever we find.”
She looked down at her hands and knew she could not dash his hopes. How could she when she had no idea if what he said was right or wrong?
“I don’t know if the city has any special powers,” she said truthfully. “I only know that for a lot of people, people throughout time, Pagoria is regarded as a holy place. A special place. So maybe it is a mystical city. But maybe the important thing, regardless of what powers the city may or may not hold, is that you don’t lose faith. If you believe it strongly, perhaps it is enough.”
He said nothing for a long while and stared straight ahead at Ridge’s and Juan Miguel’s backs. Then he looked at her again. “I think you are very wise. And you are correct. If I am to be handed a miracle, I first have to believe in them.”
Miracles. Yes, she could do with a few miracles of her own. Maybe she should heed her own advice and start to believe.
###
Ridge rode ahead of India, his eyes peeled to the landscape. There was something bothering her. He knew it without a doubt. And it scared him.
Last night they had made love with complete abandon, but there had been sadness in her eyes. Almost as if she were saying goodbye.
He pondered the absurdity of such a notion. Surely he was reading far too much into her mood, but he knew better than to discount his instincts. They hadn’t steered him wrong yet.