“Mei, why did she have to die?” Murdock asked one evening in early spring. “I’ve never loved anyone until I met her. It’s not fair that she had to die.”
“She didn’t have to,” Mei Lee tried to explain. “From the message I received, she gave her life freely. She didn’t have to, she chose to.”
“But why did she choose to? I just don’t understand.”
“Did you get a good look at Whittier afterward?” Mei Lee asked.
“No, I was in too much shock. I barely remember what I saw that night.”
“I would say that we need to enter a sharing, just you and me. It would be a good way to try to figure it all out.”
Murdock was very quiet. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that, yet,” he said finally.
“I’m not sure I’m ready either.” Mei Lee exhaled loudly. “I do know we need a bath, though,” she said, changing the subject. “It has been far too long for both of us.” She got to her feet and offered him her hand.
Murdock looked at it for a few seconds and decided she was right. He got to his feet, took her hand, and allowed her to lead him to the pool. They both sat quietly in the water, taking neither pleasure nor joy in it. When they had finished their routine, they both went into the cabin and dried themselves at the fireplace. After a time, they both went to bed, which felt strange; there was too much room in it for either of their comfort.
“Kevin?” Mei Lee asked, cuddling next to him, her head on his shoulder and her back to him.
“Yes, Mei?” he answered.
“I’m scared without Rose. She helped me so much with the kids. What happens if I make a mistake?”
“Same thing anyone else does, try to learn from it.”
“I have a big request.” she said in a quiet voice.
“Yeah?”
“Would you tell me if I make mistakes with the kids? It would be a big help.”
“Sure.”
She cuddled a little closer to him. “Thanks. It helps knowing someone is watching and helping.”
Murdock rolled over with her on his shoulder and enveloped her completely with his other arm.
He woke up about an hour later and saw a bear in their cabin. The bear didn’t blot out the fire, so even in the dim light he knew it was Beron’s mate.
“Mei, someone here to see you,” he whispered in her ear so as not to startle her too much.
Mei Lee opened her eyes, saw Bridget, and began communicating with her telepathically. When they were finished, Bridget left with no sign that she was ever there.
“What did she want?” Murdock asked as he rolled over onto his back.
“She wanted to give us an invitation, sort of. It’s the spring ceremony again.”
“I don’t feel much like going.”
“I don’t either, and I told her so.”
“What did she say?”
“She reminded me of the way you were taken by the white bear, so I don’t think we have a choice.”
“Fine,” he snapped more harshly than he intended. “When is it?”
“We have to leave tomorrow.”
The next morning, Murdock got out the cart and loaded it for their trip to the caves. Mei Lee arranged the babies, who were fat and sassy and just over a year old, on the cart. She warned them to stay on the cart, or they would be tied inside their cradles. Neither child liked that idea. Murdock locked the cabin, although he didn’t know why he bothered, and they left.
After levitating the cart over the river, he stopped.
“Fast or slow?” he asked Mei Lee.
“Are you up to it?” she asked. “Fast, if you are.”
He held the cart while Mei Lee got on. After she was settled, he took off at an easy lope. The kids giggled with the speed of their passage. Mei Lee even giggled a little as well. He didn’t know why, but he liked the sound of her giggle. But any joy he received from the giggling quickly turned to sorrow. During one of the several rest stops for water, he saw tearstains on Mei Lee’s cheeks. Murdock looked sad as she brushed his hair from his forehead with a little sad smile. They didn’t have to communicate in any way to know the pain the other felt.
Soon they reached the mountain that housed the caves. Murdock stopped at Rose’s tomb. Mei Lee took the kids and put them on top as she talked to Rose as if Rose were alive.
“You know,” Mei Lee said to the kids, “you two are very special. You have two mothers. The one sleeping here was very loving and caring. She was also very brave. She saved all our lives!” Mei Lee knew they didn’t understand fully, yet, but soon they would. When Mei Lee was finished, she gathered the kids and put them on the cart.
Murdock walked over haltingly and touched the cover of the tomb with his hand, then laid his head on the cover. He didn’t remain there for long, but Mei Lee could see how hard it was for him to leave. Finally, when they were ready, Murdock levitated the cart and himself up the cliff face to the cave and went in. He saw Beron inside; after they exchanged pleasantries, he left to lead the way up the path. Murdock got the cart turned around and followed behind, and soon they reached the meadow. As they approached, Murdock saw that they were the last to arrive and felt bad. He tried to apologize, but Beron’s father silenced him.
As the ceremony began, Beron presented his growing cub, now over a year old, another young cub, and Bridget. He then asked Murdock to come over by himself. “This one is of my kind and my kin,” he proudly announced with Murdock standing beside him. Murdock was taken aback. As he moved to stand with Mei Lee, another head of a bear family presented his young and mates and then requested Murdock to stand with them. “This one is of my kind and my kin,” he pronounced. Murdock was more than surprised. He had never met that one.
“That one fed his family on what you gave when first we met,” Beron corrected. “Everyone here has been touched by your generosity, kindness, and wisdom in some manner.”
Murdock resigned himself to being named “Kind and kin” to every family present except that of the white bear. But when the white bear’s turn came, the bear presented his mate and cub and asked Murdock to join him. “This my brother! Only we travel cold and snow! Only we hunt trails others can’t!” Murdock saw the others’ surprise and awe.
Then Murdock was called upon. All he could think to say was, “This is my mate and my cubs.”
“Are these mates and cubs of honored one?” Beron’s father asked. Beron affirmed the question. The older bear stood and bowed to Murdock, Mei Lee, and the kids. Everyone else did the same. Murdock was embarrassed, and Mei Lee was teary-eyed and proud. “It is law, when story of us relayed to young and strangers, the story of honored one and mates and cubs included.”
Murdock had presented his family last, so the ceremony then concluded reverently. Murdock and Mei Lee packed up and started down the path to the cave. When they reached the cave, Murdock expected to leave, but Beron stopped him.
“Share by pools important,” he said to Murdock telepathically. “Bring all!”
Murdock turned into the cave to help Mei Lee with the kids, and all went down to the cave that Murdock and Rose had lived in. When they arrived, Beron was waiting with Bridget and another smaller female.
“This one,” Beron indicated the other female, “will watch and keep young ones safe while we share.”
Murdock and Mei Lee reluctantly joined in the sharing.
They were immediately presented with an image of Rose standing before them. Murdock and Mei Lee instantly tried to break the sharing, but Beron stopped them.
“Message given by Honored One,” Beron explained. “Her wish shown this way to both you.”
“My family,” she began. Murdock thought she looked as beautiful as ever, and that made his heart ache. Startled, Mei Lee’s heart hurt as well. “How did I die?”
“You gave your life,” Mei Lee said quietly, reflexively.
The image of Rose smiled. “Who would have thought that someone as shallow and selfish as I was before disembarking the firs
t time would give up her life for something greater? I have all of you to thank for that.” The image looked at Murdock. “Kevin, you and I found each other when you rescued me. You taught me so much; more than you’ll ever know. Don’t mourn my passing for too long. If I know you, you have already. It isn’t good for you or for our kids.”
The image looked to Mei Lee. “Mei Lee, you are the most capable woman I have ever known. You are tough, but fair, and very caring. You care for others more than you care for yourself most of the time. You do need to care about yourself as well; if you don’t, who will? You are far more intelligent then you believe you are. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now that you were a hero of mine. I’m counting on you to step up and take care of the kids and Kevin. He is very independent, but he needs to depend on a select few to even him out and give him balance.”
Then the image turned toward the imposing, shadowy figures of Beron and Bridget. “Beron and Bridget. I have considered you part of my family as well. You both were always there when we needed you, and I sometimes felt like we didn’t appreciate you or your kind enough.
“All of you played your part in making my life more complete than I could ever have dreamed,” the image went on. “I thank each and every one of you. Just know that I did appreciate each of you.” The image faded and disappeared.
Though all present were stunned and silent, no one tried to break the sharing state. No one said anything for a long time.
“Can I see what Kevin saw the day Rose died?” Mei Lee asked finally.
“She can see,” Murdock agreed.
A frozen, three-dimensional picture presented itself to Mei Lee. She saw the scene in the moment before Beron dispatched Whittier. She studied it closely as Beron closed in on certain aspects of the picture. The hide Whittier was wearing appeared to be an untanned deer hide that had not been properly removed. It looked tattered and didn’t offer much warmth. She saw his free hand dripping blood, presumably that of the tenants of the pod. She also saw black patches on his exposed skin, which she assumed was frostbite. She studied the way he stood and saw that he favored one side; blood appeared to be dripping from his stomach area.
Then Beron changed the focus to the cub. Mei Lee saw immediately that the cub had blood on its claws, but that no blood appeared on the ground.
Beron changed the focus to Rose. Seeing her like this was very hard for Mei Lee; it broke her heart. She saw the rope burns on Rose’s wrists, as well as the part in the rope. She saw the blood on the snow from the open gash on Rose’s skull. She also saw that one of Rose’s shoulders had been dislocated. And Mei Lee saw the bright red foam around the knife that had punctured her lungs.
“Isn’t that enough?” Murdock cried. He couldn’t look at it any longer. Mei Lee saw that it broke his heart all over again.
“From what I can see and what I know, this is what I think happened,” Mei Lee explained, more for Kevin than anyone else. “Whittier, coming upriver, found the pod barricaded as we had designed and managed to get inside, probably by lying or playing on sympathies. He killed all the occupants of the pod, probably for not dying when he had intended them to; he was quite insane after that first winter. He then went looking for Murdock and found the cub instead. The cub injured him, and as repayment, Whittier wanted to torture the cub, but wanted to get out of the storm to do it, so he dragged it back to the pod. Rose interrupted his fun, and he saw a way to strike at Murdock. Rose fought for the cub’s life and was in a lot of pain when she finally got free. She did the only thing she could to try to stop Whittier.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Murdock asked.
“Are there any other messages?” Mei Lee asked, ignoring Murdock’s remark.
“Yes, one, for the young ones when they are older,” Beron said. He also nodded to Bridget who, at his signal, broke the sharing state for herself and Mei Lee. “You are doing injustice to younger mate,” Beron’s image continued as the images of Mei Lee and Bridget disappeared.
“I know,” Murdock said, hanging his head. “I just miss Rose so much!”
“Why?” Beron asked. Murdock looked up at Beron as if slapped. “Is she not part of young ones? Is she not part of younger mate? Is she not part of you? Do her honor by looking after those she cared for.”
Murdock, who felt chastised, had nothing to say. He almost felt Rose trying to comfort him.
“Younger mate hurt, too, and needs you badly. You both need help each other.”
The images ended, leaving Murdock drained.
“Are there any other humans left here?” Mei Lee asked Beron and Bridget telepathically before they could leave.
Beron stopped and turned slightly to look back at her. All he said as he and Bridget left the cave was, “Only those here.”
After Beron and Bridget left, Murdock and Mei Lee loaded the kids onto the cart and headed for the cabin. Neither spoke the entire trip back.
#
Over the course of the next year, Murdock and Mei Lee finally stopped grieving for Rose. Murdock continued his mental training and would often go to the mountains behind the cabin. Mei Lee never pried into what he was doing. The kids, who had gotten bigger, were walking well enough that Murdock started their outdoorsman training. Chun Hua had become ever more the apple of her step-father’s eye.
The day came for the spring ceremony, and Murdock had filled the cart for travel. Mei Lee herded the kids onto the cart, and they left. Murdock had decided to enjoy the walk, so they had left a day early. Mei Lee enjoyed walking beside Murdock. The winter had been hard, but they all had passed through it without incident. Mei Lee and Murdock had communed with Beron and Bridget as much as possible and were starting to enjoy it again, which helped lift the heaviness from their hearts.
They arrived at Rose’s tomb late in the day. As before, Mei Lee took the kids over and lifted them on top while she talked to Rose, telling her all about the last year. When she finished, she directed the kids back toward the cart. Murdock passed her, levitating a heavy, square block of stone. He gently laid it on the head of the cover. Curious, Mei Lee turned the kids around to see what he had done. She was startled and pleased to see the block inscribed.
“What does it say, Mother Mei?” little Andrew asked. He and Chun Hua were just learning to read, but the words were, as yet, beyond them.
“Rosa Lea Murdock,” Mei Lee read aloud after clearing her throat. “Beloved wife, friend, mother.” Mei Lee wiped away her tears. “She saved us all.” After a long pause to compose herself, she asked Murdock, “How did you do the engraving? It looks very precise, almost as if you did it with a laser.”
Murdock said nothing. He walked over to the stone and drew a small “K.M.” on the corner of the stone with his fingernail. As he drew each symbol, Mei Lee saw the particles that made up the stone fly off, leaving behind an exact symbol.
Mei Lee raised an eyebrow as she saw what was happening.
As they all turned, they saw all the bears lying in the grass. They had neither heard nor felt them. Beron lifted his head a little.
“Share?” he asked Murdock and Mei Lee telepathically. Murdock assented.
They entered a sharing state. Rose’s tomb, themselves, and all the shadows that were the bears all around appeared in the vision. In turn, each bear presented a three- dimensional remembrance of Rose and what she meant to each of them. When Murdock’s turn came, he showed Rose and himself laughing and horsing around and her shoving him into the pool they had used at the cave. When Mei Lee’s turn came, she showed Rose cooing at and rocking Chun Hua just after the baby’s birth.
Then Beron informed Murdock and Mei Lee that Beron’s father had decreed the spring ceremony would last two days. The first day would be the day before and be a remembrance for Rose.
#
The next two years passed much the same as had the year after Rose’s death. In the late spring or early summer, Beron told Murdock and Mei Lee to come to the caves. They both were excited yet apprehensive. Exa
ctly five years had passed since the first transport pod had landed. Beron had told them that the next one would arrive momentarily and that Murdock needed to greet and warn whoever was in the pod.
While Mei Lee cooked food in the cave, Murdock walked up to the overlook ledge. Dawn was approaching when he stepped out onto the ledge. Andrew stood in front of him holding onto his leg, as four-year-olds do. Chun Hua was on his shoulder with her little arm around his head. The anticipation was palpable. Mei Lee came up behind him heavily. He turned to see her and smiled. He thought she looked beautiful, even though she was pregnant and didn’t feel that way. Little Rosa Lea, who had been born the year before, stood beside her mother with raised arms, wanting to be lifted so she could see, too.
“Anything yet?” Mei Lee asked in a gentle voice as she levitated little Rosa Lea onto Murdock’s other shoulder.
“Nothing,” he said, “but Beron says it will be soon.”
“Father,” Andrew said with excitement, pointing off a little downstream from Rose’s tomb.
Just as dawn was about to break, they all turned to see the small space ship drop from the sky.
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