by K E Osborn
The feelings I hold for him are real.
The emotions he stirs in me are real.
I wish there were a way out of this for me and I could tell Phantom what’s happening without endangering him and the Houston Defiance MC. I just don’t know how to move forward.
I’ve tried to come clean a few times, but something always gets in the way. Maybe it was the way I was raised? Maybe it’s the way Rage threatened Defiance time and time again, or maybe it is the chance of what Rage and his Heathens will do to me if I fail. I shake my head from the thoughts as they are doing me no good.
Dialing Rage, my insides rip apart at the deceit and deception I am exposing to this club. The asshole answers on the second ring. “You haven’t contacted me in days. What the fuck, Billie?” he screams the words into the phone, and I blanch, my eyes sting with tears. I want to tell him it’s because he disgusts me, that if he had any semblance of love for me, he wouldn’t make me do this. Me being his sister doesn’t come into this for Rage—it means jack shit to him. I am nothing but a way to achieve his ends—a pawn in his sick and twisted game.
His thirst for retribution.
His sick thrill for vengeance.
His fucking end game!
“I need to play the part, Rage. If they see me sneaking around on my damn phone all the time, it’s gonna look suspicious. Bug… remember?”
He grumbles under his breath. “Makes sense, I suppose. There’s another audio file that’s been recorded, I need you to send it my way.”
Fuck! I have no idea what’s on it.
I haven’t had a chance to listen, but I know the guys were in church only moments ago. “I don’t know if there is anything useful on there. I haven’t listened to it yet.”
“Transmit it, Billie, now! Or I will send Neon a message outing you to the club. Don’t fucking think for one second I won’t!”
Defeat rolls over my shoulders as they sag. “Okay, hang on…” I pull my cell down from my ear, open the app and send the audio without listening to it. Honestly, I don’t want to know. I feel bad enough as it is that what I sent him last time led to Defiance’s distribution center being targeted. I’m not stupid—I know it was Rage. He didn’t tell me in so many words, but it’s not hard to put two and two together. Rage found out about it—next minute, it was hit.
The attack was my fault, and I can’t stop the guilt flowing through me.
So, whatever was said in that church meeting, I don’t want to know. That way, whatever comes next for Defiance, I won’t know what’s coming. And maybe, just that fact alone, I won’t feel so damn guilty about it.
Wishful thinking.
Bringing my cell back up to my ear, I let out a loud huff. “It’s done.”
“Received. You’re good at this, Billie,” Rage mocks.
My top lip curls in disgust. “I don’t know what you expect from me, brother. But these guys aren’t what you think. They’re decent human be—”
“Who came to our grandmother’s gravesite on the anniversary of her death and beat the living shit out of me, Billie. They disrespected a woman who meant so much to the both of us, and you’re acting like they’re better than me?”
“That’s not what I mea—”
“Change your attitude, sister. Or when this all comes to a head and believe me it’s gonna, I might just leave you there to rot with their corpses.” He ends the call, leaving me reeling.
My teeth grind together, my muscles quivering with anger. My pulse speeds blood through my veins, heat flushes over my skin, and my muscles clench in frustration. “That motherfucker.”
Sliding my cell into my back pocket, I walk over to the outside gym, straight to the boxing bag. Without putting on any gloves or protection, I slam my fist into the black bag. My knuckles smart against the leather, but I don’t stop. Pulling my thumb back underneath, I hit the bag with every ounce of energy I have hit after hit. My knuckles scrape with the intensity of the force while imagining Rage is the bag, and every hit I land is on his ugly, arrogant, smug, egotistical, asshole face.
I hate what he has made me do.
I hate who he has made me into.
I hate him.
With every fiber of my being, I hate him.
Letting out a loud groan, I continue to pummel the bag with everything I have, tears welling in my eyes as I begin to run out of steam.
“Hey, hey, hey… calm down!” Phantom calls out, rushing to my side, reaching out and grabbing my hands to stop me.
Feeling his fingers on mine sends a shockwave through my body, instantly making me want to jump into his arms and never climb back out. I pant for breaths as he leads me away from the bag. His arm wraps tightly around me, and I snuggle into his side, just needing him right now.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Sniffling, I swipe some sweaty hair from my face. My eyes avoid contact with his at all costs. “Nothing. Just feeling caged in, is all.”
He plants a tender kiss on my forehead, then pulls me into another tight embrace. “I get it. You’ve been here since Christmas. That’s my fault. I want to keep you safe. Let’s go to your room and talk this through, yeah?”
I try to avoid my room as much as possible.
Only really going there to sleep.
Knowing Neon has a bug planted inside to monitor me has me on edge, but I can’t turn Phantom down. He will think something is up. And honestly, I just want to be alone with him right now, even if there are ears listening in.
“Okay,” I reply.
We walk inside the clubhouse and make our way for the stairs, taking them with ease heading for my room.
“I didn’t know you were feeling so uptight about this, Billie. You should have come to me.”
Grimacing, I open my bedroom door and walk inside. “You have enough to deal with without me getting all emotional on you.”
“I hardly call you pounding the shit out of a boxing bag emotional. I call that frustrated. If you’re mad about being locked inside, you need to tell me. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being kept here against your will.”
Phantom closes the door behind him, and I move in pressing my body against his, my arms looping around his neck. “I’m here because I want to be. I like being here… with you.”
He gently kisses the tip of my nose, then pulls away. “Do you want to go home?”
I pout out my bottom lip. No, I can’t. I’m just saying that to make it all seem more legitimate. But more than that I simply don’t want to leave Phantom. “No, just maybe I’m overstaying my welcome.”
“Is that why you’re so frustrated and killing the bag like you have a personal vendetta against it?”
Letting out a long exhale, I slump my shoulders. “I just wanna get out for a bit.”
Phantom moves in closer as that buzz fills the air between us. He reaches out for my hand, threading our fingers together. “There’s still some shit going down at the moment. We also haven’t figured out your problem, so the last thing I want is for us is to go somewhere and the fucker comes after you again. Can you gimmie a few more days?”
He’s being so protective and sweet—he has no idea he’s the one who needs protection from me.
Nodding my head, my hand comes up to caress his cheek. “You’re so good to me.”
He grins in that playful way I love. “I can be bad…” he waggles his brows, “… if you want.”
My eyes meet his, and the air around us intensifies. My skin covers in goosebumps at the thought of how bad I want to be with Phantom. He must sense my mood shift, the way my body heightens with the adrenaline surging through me. As he breathes a little heavier, his eyes flood with lust.
“I want you to be bad.” The words leave my lips like a needy whisper.
Phantom’s eyes widen, his lips parting, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “Billie…”
“Don’t think right now, Phantom, just do.”
He doesn’t hesitate, rushing forward. H
is hand slides around to the back of my hair, gripping tight. I think he’s going to pull my mouth to his, but he does just the opposite, yanking my head back, exposing my neck. The move is dominant and sexy as hell. My clit throbs, my nipples go taut, and my body aches in the right kind of way. My hands slide in clutching at his cut as his mouth moves against my neck.
“Do you know what you’re asking?” His hot breath tickles my skin, making all my senses come alive when his teeth glide along my neck.
“Yes,” I whimper, sounding more like a needy whore than someone who has such strong feelings for this man.
His free hand grips my ass, pulling me against his erection.
I. Feel. Everything.
My eyes clench closed, my fingers gripping his cut, just needing him closer. So much closer.
“If we do this, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to control myself.” His teeth bite my earlobe, tugging, sending a shockwave straight to my clit.
Dammit, he’s teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can stand the pain of him not being inside me. “Then don’t control yourself.”
A low growl reverbs from his chest, and his hand in my hair pulls my head forward, his lips crash against mine. His tongue darts into my mouth, his tongue ring swirling. The smooth ball thrilling me as he kisses me with so much force my knees weaken. The thought of what he can do with that tongue ring excites me even more.
His hands move to my ass, lifting me, my legs wrapping around his waist as he pushes me against the wall. I let out a little “oomph” when he slams me against the plasterboard, but the move is completely alpha, completely Phantom, and sexy as all hell.
Strong and hard kisses begin to consume me, but then he lowers my legs to the floor, keeping my back to the wall. His hands trail down my sides. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Billie.”
A slow smile crosses my face as he kneels in front of me. My breathing is rushed and frantic while he grabs my jeans, slowly popping the button, then undoing the zipper. As he slides them over my ass, down my legs to my ankles, my eyes never leave his. He pulls off my Chucks, throws them to the side, and I step out of my jeans. They fall with my shoes while my chest is heaving as his hands glide up my thighs so fucking seductively, the tension building inside me like a freight train.
Phantom leans in rubbing his nose along the seam of my pussy, so I bite down on my bottom lip as he pulls back, gripping the hem of my panties and tears the seam. I gasp at the strength he has, the sight only making me wetter for him. “Jesus, Phantom.”
“I’ll buy you new ones.”
“Maybe I’ll just stop wearing them?”
He groans, grabbing my left leg, hoisting it over his shoulder. “You’re a fucking troublemaker.”
My fingers run through his hair, and I give it a pull.
He leans in. “I’m gonna make you come so hard! Hold on, Billie.” His tongue darts out, hitting my clit instantly.
My head flies back, resting on the wall for support. The second the metal of his tongue ring hits my clit, I let out a moan of pleasure while he works his magic. He swirls the metal around my sensitive bud making my body shiver with anticipation. The magnitude of the earthquake rocking through my foundations right now is sure to rattle me to the very core of my being. My hands hold his head, forcing his face to my pussy as I whimper with the overwhelming pleasure.
He inserts a finger, sending an all-new wave of pleasure through me, taking this up a notch. I’ve never felt so much sensation all at one time. “Please… more…” I beg.
As he chuckles against my clit, the vibration rattles through his tongue ring, and it sends me over the edge. My muscles tighten, my body crashing in a wave of heat as sweat beads on my skin. My fingers clench so tight I’m scared I might yank his hair out by the roots while I moan out in undeniable ecstasy. My body wracks as I gasp, trying to catch myself, but Phantom wastes no time.
He stands abruptly, one hand holding me up, the other undoing his jeans. I’m too busy coming down from my high to even take in what he’s doing, but when he moves in, grabbing one leg and hoisting it up around his waist, I instantly come alive again. His hard, thick cock moves in line with my pussy, and I glimpse down to see just how fucking huge he is. My insides quiver with the anticipation of what that’s going to feel like inside me.
“This is gonna be hard and fast, Billie.”
My hands move to his cut, gripping it, trying to pull him closer. “Then fuck me, Phantom.”
His free hand shifts against the wall beside my head, his other holding my leg around him. He thrusts up inside me without hesitation.
My fingers clench, pulling him even closer while he fills me completely. I moan with the feeling when he leans in pressing his weight against me.
This.
Us.
Joined.
This is what I have been longing for.
Phantom groans like he can’t hold on any longer. He pulls back and thrusts back into me so damn deep, I see stars. “Jesus fucking Christ!” I scream out, my hands yanking at him, attempting more closeness that I know can’t happen because there’s not one scrap of space between us.
He thrusts again, and I throw my head back against the wall, whimpering with the feelings that are overtaking my body. “You feel so fucking good,” he states in a low, husky voice like he’s having trouble keeping himself together.
“Mmm,” I reply incoherently as he thrusts up inside me again but with more tempo. His hand is splayed out on my thigh, his fingers digging into my skin making me feel like he’s taking ownership of me. His lips dash to meet mine, his tongue dancing in a mad rush with mine as he fucks me hard and fast against the wall of my room. The energy circling us is intense as the pressure builds inside of me.
“Harder!” I moan against his lips.
His hand against the wall beside my head slides down as he chuckles, his fingers trailing with a little force against my jaw, his thumb sliding into my mouth. Without hesitation, I begin to suck on it, and his eyes light up as he continues to fuck me. The gesture between us is so fucking erotic it’s bringing me close to climax again.
“You’re a bad girl, Billie.”
If only he knew.
He slides his thumb out of my mouth with a pop, his hand moving down around my neck, and he grips around my throat, tight, then shoves my head back against the wall. I gasp, my airway restricted but not completely shut off, just enough to make this a whole new level of kink.
My clit throbs as his electric blue eyes lock onto mine—they’re so full of animalistic lust.
It turns from sex to carnal need.
A desire to take control of me.
My life has been controlled in every aspect, so you would think this right here would be a turn-off for me, but for some reason having Phantom take control to make me submit to him, it’s empowering. It lets me know that I trust him. And trusting him right now means more to me than he will ever know.
“Your tight pussy feels like fucking heaven.” He grunts, the sound bestial as he thrusts inside hitting the perfect spots. My insides quiver and I turn into molten lava. My entire body shudders from the quake rocking my very foundation.
Phantom knows how to work my body, knows exactly what he’s doing to make me into a quivering mess, and fuck if I don’t love every second of it.
His hand on my throat clenches tighter, cutting off my airway so I can only just breathe, and while he’s doing it, my body feels light, my mind going void of every single thing. All it does is make the pleasure rolling through me one hundred times more intoxicating.
I moan loudly. He thrusts deep once more, hitting right where he’s meant to, and with that, lights dance behind my eyes, my back arches off the wall, and all my muscles constrict. Then the explosion that rattles through my body is like nothing I have ever experienced before.
“Phantom!” I rasp out breathlessly.
The grip on my neck loosens, a wave of oxygen rushes back into my body causing instant dizzines
s. He keeps hold of me, pumping harder to reach his climax.
Then he groans, his body jerking.
“Fuck, Billie!” he bellows, suddenly pulling out of me. One hand is flat on my chest holding me upright, and the other moves to his cock while he pumps hard. I lick my lips wishing I was the one jerking him off right now. He throws his head back with a mighty groan while his hot cum explodes all over my stomach.
Still dizzy, I brace myself against the wall. Ever so slowly, he lets me go, still trying to find his balance as he glances around for something to clean the mess we have created.
“Fuck, that was…” He can’t finish his sentence.
Taking a second, he looks at me.
“Yeah… that was,” I reply.
Leaning in, he presses his lips to mine in a much gentler way than he was mere seconds ago. “You okay? Did I hurt you?”
“Only in all the good ways.”
He chuckles. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
I can’t help but let out a giggle. Phantom was an unexpected surprise coming into this whole thing. I never thought that Houston Defiance would be the type of men I’m cheering for or that I could possibly find a guy I like, but this right here, right now, is fucking everything.
A month into this, Phantom and I are moving at a steady pace. Honestly, now, after this, I can’t ever go back to the Heathens, a place where I am constantly being scrutinized, threatened, and abused.
It suddenly dawns on me that everyone is watching me.
Nothing about my life is my own.
Even in here, now, this moment between Phantom and me, it’s not private.
I’ve gotten lost in the moment and have completely forgotten this room is bugged.
Defiance is monitoring my every move.
The Heathens are tracking every step I take.
Nothing I do is going to be right.
The only person on my side is Phantom, and when he finds out what I’m doing, I am going to lose him too.
“So, shower?” he asks, breaking me from my racing thoughts.