ABOVE THE
FEAR
______________________________________________
The Eyes of Love Series #2
A touching Christian romance
that’s a standalone in a series.
ABOVE THE FEAR
The Eyes of Love Series #2
Inspirational Fiction by Joan Fennell Carringer
©2021 Joan Fennell Carringer
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
First Printing: February 2021
ISBN: 9798702428451
Imprint: Independently published
There are 3 books in THE EYES OF LOVE SERIES
#1 – Beneath the Scars
#2 – Above the Fear
#3 – Inside the Beauty (April 2021)
ABOVE THE FEAR
Inspirational Fiction
BY
Joan Fennell Carringer
∞ ONE ∞
TARYN TUGGED AT THE SKIRT of the silky blue dress that was clinging much too tightly to her hips. She’d just bought it a month ago. How could it be so tight already? She sighed. How could it not be, with the five pounds she’d gained? Five pounds in one month! It was ridiculous and she hated herself for it. What she hated the most was how fat she was going to look standing beside her sister Sharris at their other sister Marna’s wedding. It wasn’t like she would be sitting with the guests in the church where she’d hardly be seen. No, she’d be right there at the front, in full view of everyone. She could imagine them looking at the shapely Sharris and smiling and how their smiles would fade into pity when they moved their gazes to her.
One thing certain, starting tomorrow she was going on a strict diet. Just the idea of it was enough to make her cringe. Eating was one of the few enjoyments she had in life. With Marna moving out, she was going to feel so alone and she’d be needing the comfort of food more than ever. How could she even think of dieting?
It was then she remembered that tomorrow was Christmas Day. There was no way she could cut down on eating when there would be so much good food available. So many of their clients had brought in gifts of candy, cakes and pastries. Then, there was New Year’s Day, and then…..
She stopped her thoughts. There always was, and always would be, too many reasons to justify overeating! She had to get food off her mind. She had to get everything off her mind but Marna’s wedding.
The change in her train of thought didn’t do a lot to make her feel better. Instead, it was only another reminder of how much she was going to miss Marna. Even though she couldn’t be happier or more excited for her sister, Taryn dreaded knowing she wouldn’t be living in the house with her and Sharris ever again. Ever since they’d lost their parents, the three of them had been together – sharing their home, their business and their lives. Taryn loved both her sisters, but she was always closer to Marna. She wasn’t just her sister, but also her best friend. In truth, she was the only friend she had who truly cared about her. Sharris never understood her the way Marna did. Since Taryn had few contacts outside their home, there wasn’t anyone else that came close to being someone she considered an actual best friend.
She started brushing her long brown hair. She didn’t often take a lot of pains with it, but maybe if it looked especially nice today, it would take some of the attention off her less desirable attributes. Mainly her hefty thighs and bulging tummy. There you go again. Stop it, Taryn. She leaned in closer to the mirror. She had nice smooth skin and sparkling blue eyes, so that would be in her favor. And all she had to do was stand there. She didn’t have to say a word to anybody. If she held her breath as much as she could, maybe some of those excess pounds wouldn’t be so noticeable. She sighed deeply. What did it matter what she looked like? She was only the bridesmaid, not the bride.
She’d probably never be the bride. It wasn’t only because of the excess pounds she carried around either. The biggest problem she had was her overwhelming shyness and lack of self-confidence. Despite Marna’s scars, she had a bubbly, outgoing personality and was a person others liked being with. It wasn’t surprising at all that her sister was marrying one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen, and Taryn didn’t have one single man - good-looking or ugly - even interested in her.
She was abruptly shaken from her thoughts by a loud pounding on the outside door. Her eyes widened. Who on earth……..? She met Sharris in the hallway and their eyes locked with the same silent question as they walked together to see who it was.
Standing on the doorstep, a wide excited grin on her face, was Suzi, the cute little dark-haired ten year old girl who lived next door. “It’s snowing! Marna’s gonna have a white Christmas wedding!”
Sure enough, the snow was coming down in thick white flakes and the ground was nearly covered. Both Taryn and Sharris had been so busy that neither had paid any attention to the weather.
Taryn shivered. “And it’s cold. Come inside, Suzi, and let me close the door.”
Suzi entered, still laughing with her excitement. “Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you ever saw? Where’s Marna? I want to be sure she knows.”
“She’s already at the church, getting ready for her big day. And, speaking of getting ready, are you going to walk down the aisle as her flower girl in those jeans and boots?”
“Of course not! I just had to be sure you knew what was happening. After Marna and Devon get married, will you help me make a snowman, Taryn?”
Sharris turned away, thinking that Suzi was only there to see her sister and not her. The child’s voice stopped her.
“You, too, Sharris! Please?”
“I don’t think there’ll be time for anything like that today, Suzi,” Sharris said. “After the wedding is the reception, you know.”
“Not to mention that it’s also Christmas Eve,” Taryn added. “You have to be prepared to get in the bed really early, so Santa Claus can come.”
Suzi giggled. “I’m ten years old, Taryn. I know all about who Santa Claus really is. But, just the same, I do plan to go to bed early. Maybe the snow will still be here tomorrow.”
It was doubtful. Snows in western North Carolina never lasted very long. Taryn thought it, but to Suzi she said, “You never know. Now, let me fix you a cup of hot chocolate to get your insides warmed up and then you go on home and finish getting ready, okay?”
“Okay!” Suzi quickly started peeling off her gloves, coat and toboggan. Then, as Sharris disappeared from sight, she and Taryn started toward the kitchen.
“You sure look pretty,” Suzi said as she seated herself by the table and Taryn started making the hot chocolate. “Just think, we all have silky blue dresses – you and me and Sharris. I can’t wait to see Marna’s wedding gown. She’s going to be so beautiful in it.”
To Suzi, Marna had always been beautiful, from the very first time she saw her, despite the deep scars on her face and her one eye that wouldn’t fully open. It had happened three years ago, when Marna and her parents were the victims of a terrible, tragic explosion in their home, the result of a faulty furnace. Her parents had been killed instantly. Marna had been scarred for life.
Suzi chattered continually, unaware of Taryn’s deep silent thoughts. “I sure am gonna miss Marna when she moves into that new house Devon built for her. Boy, is it ever big! They must be planning on
having at least ten kids. Only thing is, she’s been so busy all summer helping him that I never saw her much anyway. I’m just glad Devon’s not making her move to Atlanta. Wasn’t it good that he could move all his work here? I wish my daddy could do that. I got excited when Devon talked to him about going to work with him, but Daddy said he couldn’t stand having to work indoors all the time. Daddy loves being outside, you know.” She sighed. “I guess I’m a lot like him. I like to be outside, too, and I love to ride my bike. Even though Marna was so busy, she still took time to ride with me once in a while. I know you never wanted to ride, Taryn, but will you maybe think about riding with me since Marna will be gone? It’s so much fun.”
Listening intently as Suzi talked, Taryn sat down across from her, a cup of coffee in her hand. “I used to ride, but it’s been a long time.”
“Just think about it, okay? I love your hair fixed that way. It’s so shiny, like Marna’s. I always thought she had the prettiest hair. Mama’s always wanting me to let mine grow, but I think it would be too much trouble, so I like to keep it short.” Suzi took a sip of her hot chocolate.
Taryn couldn’t refrain from smiling. She hadn’t even finished brushing her hair when Suzi arrived, let alone started to fix it the way she wanted it, and Suzi was saying she loved it that way.
“Isn’t it the sweetest thing that Ottie is going to give Marna away?” Suzi laughed, thinking of the old man in the wheelchair who was the favorite patient of her mother, Josie, a nurse in the nursing home where Ottie stayed. Of course, Ottie was a favorite to everybody that met him and Marna had grown to love him so much, she said she couldn’t think of anybody better to stand in the place of her father at her wedding. “I’ll bet he’s excited.”
“I think it’s wonderful. I sure do love that old man. If I ever get married, I’d love for him to give me away, too.”
Suzi sipped her drink. “Oh, you’ll get married. No doubt about it. You’re really pretty, Taryn. I never knew you as good as I did Marna, but you know what? I’ve been thinking about something really important.”
“You have?” Taryn noticed a sudden seriousness in the child’s voice.
“I know you and Marna were really close to each other, and I know you’re going to really miss her, just like me. I was just wondering, since none of my friends live close enough to visit me much, and since I’ve noticed that Sharris is almost always gone and you stay home most of the time by yourself, well – could we, sort of, maybe - be best friends now, since Marna won’t be here anymore?”
What a sweet and touching thing to say. Taryn couldn’t help but smile and even had to force back the emotional tears that tried to form in the corner of her eyes. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Suzi. I could use a new best friend.”
Suzi grinned. “From now on then – from this very minute – you and I are best friends!”
“Best friends!”
“And best friends ride bikes together.”
Taryn chuckled. “I still have to think about that.”
“Maybe you can do it while you’re fixing your hair! I was just teasing when I said I love it that way.” Laughing, Suzi stood up and retrieved her coat from the chair beside where she’d been sitting. “I gotta go! I’m sure glad Daddy’s in and Mama don’t have to drive us to the church. She’s a menace in snow!”
∞ TWO ∞
IN THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR, Suzi’s mother Josie stood by the window, watching the falling snow. It was so beautiful, and didn’t happen too often in the area where she lived, and she wanted to enjoy every moment of it she could. Just the same, she was glad her husband Ted was there so she wouldn’t have to drive in it. That was certainly not one of her favorite things to do, even though – being a nurse – she often had to do it anyway.
The ringing of her phone jostled her out of her reverie and she quickly answered without even glancing at her caller ID.
“Merry Christmas, Josie. It’s John.”
Her heart began to race and she nearly dropped the phone. How long had it been since she’d had a call from her brother? A year? Two? It seemed like forever. The only way she’d known he was still living was when her mother mentioned, every once in a while, that he’d called her to let her know he was all right. He never said where he was or what he was doing or why he’d stayed away so long. It was as if everything in his life was some kind of big, mysterious secret that he either couldn’t, or wouldn’t, reveal. Now he was calling to wish her a merry Christmas, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do!
“Are you there? It’s me, John.”
She swallowed. “I – I’m here, John. You have to know how surprising it is to hear your voice again. It’s been so long.”
“It’s been too long. I finally got my life straightened out, sis.”
What had happened that he needed to do that? John had always been a good person, never in a bit of trouble the entire time he was growing up.
“…. but I need a place to stay for a few weeks, til I can get on my feet again.”
Til he could get on his feet again?
“I don’t feel comfortable barging in on Mom and Dad. As much as I love them, we both know they’d be demanding answers that I can’t give right now. You’ve never been like that.”
What had happened to him that he didn’t want to talk about with their parents? Was he in some kind of trouble, despite his telling her he’d gotten his life straightened out? Why was he needing someone to stay with? Why didn’t he have a place of his own? He was twenty-nine years old, a year older than her. Question after question raced through her mind.
Josie’s husband Ted walked up to her and put his hands gently on her trembling shoulders. When she looked up at him, his eyes were quizzical.
Tears welled in hers. It didn’t matter what any of the answers were to any of her questions! He was her brother, her only sibling, and she loved him. “John, you know you can come here.”
John sighed, as if relieved. “Do you still live at the same place in North Carolina?”
Her heart was pounding. “Ted and I built a house two years ago in Marble. It’s a couple hours away from where we were raised in Asheville.”
Ted looked at her, silently mouthing the words, ‘Your brother?’
She shook her head.
John said, “You don’t have to tell me where Marble is. I grew up in that part of the country, you know. Just give me the address and I’ll find you. It might take me a week or so to get there.”
A week or so? Was he still in California? It had been so long since she’d heard from him. “Where are you? Do you – do you have a way to get here?” Could he be totally destitute? “I can come get you.” It didn’t matter where she had to go, she would do it willingly. Even if he was still in California.
“I can get there. Josie, would you not mention to Mom and Dad that I’m coming? I’ll call them when I get there. I love you, Josie.”
“I love you, too.”
The call disconnected.
She didn’t move but merely stood there, gripping her phone and staring straight in front of her. John was coming home. As close as both of them had always been to their parents, he didn’t want them to know.
Ted never said a word. Instead, he put his arms around her and drew her close to him.
The door flung open at that moment and Suzi came bouncing through it. “Oh, I love this snow! If Marna and Devon wasn’t getting married today, I’d be outside playing in it all day long.”
Her parents parted and smiled at her.
“And I’d be right there with you, squirt,” Ted said.
“When’s the last time we played in the snow, Daddy?”
“Too long.”
Watching them and listening to their cheerful bantering, Josie couldn’t help but smile. Beneath it, however, was an unusual sadness. She and John used to love to play in the snow, ride bikes, and play baseball and every other kind of game with the neighbors. They loved to do anything they could do together.
How much had her brother changed in the ten years he’d been gone? When he first left home, he’d called often but suddenly the calls became few and far between, before they nearly stopped completely. Sometimes it seemed like he only made them out of obligation, so they wouldn’t put a search out for him to be sure he was still living.
A tenderness quickly replaced the sadness and fears inside her. He was coming home. That’s all that mattered.
▬ ▬ ▬
JOHN WINSTON hung up his phone and looked out the window at the beautiful California sunshine. What was it like in North Carolina, where Josie was living? Was she getting the snow he’d been seeing forecast on the news? He shrugged his shoulders. It didn’t matter what the weather was like, he couldn’t wait to get there.
He’d missed Josie. And his parents. And Suzi. She’d be ten now, and he hadn’t seen her since she was first born. Had he really been gone that long? As anxious as he was to see his parents, he dreaded that visit. They’d have so many questions. Was he ready to answer them? He was no longer the nineteen year boy that left them ten years ago, excited and eager to make his own way in the world. Time had made a lot of changes and, sadly, most of them had not been good. It wasn’t going to be easy to explain to his family all the secrets he’d kept from them all these years.
He glanced around the small apartment where he’d been staying, one of the better places he’d lived lately. It never had, and never would, seem like home. Home was where a family lived. The only family he had was in North Carolina. He wasn’t going to miss a thing he’d be leaving behind.
Remembering Josie’s offer to come get him brought a smile. Even knowing he was a thousand miles away, she would’ve tried to get there anyway. He didn’t deserve her. He quickly pushed aside the thought and started to the bedroom to pack up his few belongings. He’d never had a lot of material things, and what he did have, he’d lost nearly all of them in the past year. He would do it all over again, if there was the slightest chance of finding Ricky.
Above the Fear Page 1