by Emera Rose
"Please....help..me."
I begged I hadn't eaten in seven days. My mouth was dry, and I couldn't even cry anymore. I don't even know the last time I went to the bathroom.
"Please.."
I heard movement before I saw anything, the cloth on my face making it hard to see anything anyway.
"Please. Is someone there?" I was desperate for any help.
"Well, look at the state you’re in now."
A voice I never wanted to hear again, especially now in the end stages of my life. Davorin.
I swear I could hear the grin, I could easily picture it on his face.
"Come on now, my girl, don't be like that."
"Please just... please just leave me alone." I sighed. I couldn't take him right now.
"Well, you’re in no place to tell me what to do, I reckon."
I groaned, hoping he would just get tired and move on.
"Now, don't you think you’d be better with me? I would’ve never done this to you."
Even this was better than a lifetime of servitude with Davorin, well right now, I couldn't say that for sure, but I knew deep down I meant it. "Go away."
He laughed and left me to my thoughts.
"Leave her be!"
I thought I heard something... was it? No, it couldn't be. Why would Jett be here? I laid back as the heat took me away again.
*Day 11 in the hot box. I think*
They lowered the temperature once again. Now the excruciating pain was not from the blistering heat, but the rank pus bubbling up from the openings on my body; it was putrid. I’d not released any fluid in at least three days. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and every movement caused me to scream in ear-shattering pain. I was going to die; I knew it. I couldn't fight any longer, it was no longer up to me, and my will power to keep me alive. Now I just had to wait for my heart to give out. I almost looked forward to it.
"Laramie, beg for mercy." A stern voice filtered through the walls as if the person speaking were standing there with me. I opened my eyes wider, wincing at the fissures that broke open at the corners of my lids. I scanned the small box once, resolute to let myself believe that this was just one of the final stages of dying. Insanity.
"Did you hear me girl, beg for mercy and I can set you free."
Again the voice, I whipped my head back and forth. Lights flashing in front of my eyes, my equilibrium off, I closed my eyes to keep the small space from spinning.
"Who’s there? Leave me the hell alone!"
"Watch how you speak to your King!" The words not more than a whisper but laced with more venom than the most poisonous snake.
My head cleared immediately. I turned in the space toward the other side of my cramped box. It sounded like he was on the other side of this wall. "Jett?" I asked tentatively. My mind still could be vacating the premises, but just to be sure.
"How many kings do you have if it is not I?"
"My lord," I bowed stiffly even though I knew that he could not see me. "I apologize; my mind is not what it once was. I thought you were-"
"I know well what you thought was happening now do as I have commanded."
"What? You want me to cry for mercy?"
"Yes!" I heard him huff out a big breath as if he needed to calm himself. "Why have you not done so already?"
"I cannot, my lord, I cannot." I hung my head down in shame. I knew if I did cry out for mercy, I would be set free, but I would only be set free if I gave up the others who had created the tunnel. I would be nothing if I gave in now.
"Laramie, this is madness!"
"You don't understand!" I screamed back at him, pounding my fist against the wall, biting my lip with the pain of the blow.
"Enlighten me then, girl! As it stands right now, you are in there dying, slowly and painfully while those you shield are out here living their life."
"I was them! I am them!" I closed my eyes as the one tear I had left in my system slipped down my face. "When we get here to this wretched place, all we have are each other, the other slaves. We are all missing our families, all fear for our lives daily, and all would do anything for one more chance at freedom. You are right if you believe that I had not created that tunnel, "
"Of course, you didn't!"
"Please!" He stopped talking, allowing me to finish. "But I cannot fault one of my own for being so brazen to try their luck on the outside, and I will never speak ill of one of them for wanting their freedom. So if I must stay in this hot box for all of my eternity, so be it. But those names will never release from my lips, never." My back ramrod straight. I knew I was trembling, but I wasn't sure if it was due to the emotions coursing through me right now or from the cramps in my legs from standing for such a duration.
"I understand more than you know." He sounded sad, and at that very moment, I just wanted to see his face, but it was impossible. "Cry for mercy, and you won't have to tell."
"My King," I shook my head; this was not trick that I was going to fall for. "No, they will force me to tell."
"Am I, King or not!" He shouted.
I looked around self-consciously; sure someone heard that. "You are my lord."
"Then do as I say, I swear to you that you will not have to speak the names of those you chose to protect." I heard movement then nothing else, he’d walked away.
I shuffled back over to my little spot, the pus seeping out of my skin as I lowered myself to the floor. I cried, letting everything I had out. My body jerked hard, but no tears fell from my eyes. I looked around the small box I was in, positive I would die unless I believed Jett and called out for mercy. Unless I trusted he would stay true to his word. Once I was out, the rest of the captured would think that I tattled, but I guess they’d figure out I hadn’t when no one was reprimanded. Could I live like this on the outside, or would I condemn myself to die just because of what they may think of me? No matter what they do to me, I know I will never tell. I know it. But still, I had no way of knowing if Jett would be true. I closed my eyes and willed my body to stop the muscle wrenching tremors.
"Stay strong." Two words whispered in the wind. I looked around thinking that maybe Jett had returned, but no, it wasn’t him. It wasn't until I let myself dwell on the voice that I remembered it. It was my mother; even in this time of intense agony, her voice never left my thoughts. I squared my shoulders and let out the loudest yell that I could muster.
"MERCY!"
***
I carried on screaming for mercy for what seemed like forever, but in reality, it was only a night. The master security guard came for me first thing in the morning. They took no care in how they removed me from the box, dragging me freely behind them. My stomach heaved spewing bile from my mouth, with every scrape of my legs against the floor. I turned to see small pieces of red fabric on the floor behind me. At first, I thought it was pieces of my clothing until I looked down and realized that I was naked. I twisted my body violently now, crying out at the pain in my arms from the two men hauling me away. I looked down toward the pain and saw more red fabric fall from my body. I screamed louder than I had before, hysterics coursed through my body. The red fabric falling on the floor wasn’t from clothing; it was my muscles. My skin had completely peeled off, and my muscles were pulling from my bones. Finally, it was too much for me to handle, and I let the darkness take me away again.
***
I opened my eyes, and the blinding light made me close them again.
I inhaled and tried to raise my arms to my face to shield it from the light. Panic screamed in my head when I couldn't move or feel anything from the neck down.
"Oh, no, no, no!! Please! Help!" I tried everything I could, but nothing moved. All I could move were my eyes and my mouth. I’ve never felt so trapped in my life.
"Hush my child, you are alright," Helene's face was suddenly inches away from mine.
"What’s happening to me, why can't I move? What did they do, how-"
She shushed me and placed one hand on my face
. "Don't worry; it's not permanent. They just set you like this to ensure that you heal. They are even using some of the medicines that they use on the vampires after battles to speed up the healing process, our king wants his assistant back, and as soon as possible, it would seem.
Jett did this? Was I going to be ok? Really? "How long will I have to stay like this?"
"Oh dear, that’s something I wouldn't be able to tell you. I do know that when we use these methods on the ones injured in battle, they are restricted from movement completely from moving for at least one week."
"A week like this?" My eyes nearly jumped right out of my head.
She looked at me with pity, "Well, Laramie, that’s for vampires, and since you are not, I believe you will have to be in restriction for quite a while longer."
I sighed and closed my eyes. There was no use in becoming increasingly agitated as there was nothing I could do. I was going to be stuck like this for the foreseeable future. "Let me know if you need anything." I heard a chair scrape against the floor. I tried to turn toward the sound, but of course, I couldn't.
"Helene? Are you staying in here with me?"
She raised again, coming eye to eye with me. "Yes, the king has limited all of my work to just tending to your every need. Anything you want is to be fetched with haste. So please let me know if you want anything, and I will get it if it’s possible."
"Is it possible to be raised a bit, so I won't have to look at the ceiling for the duration I’m here?"
"I am not sure, let me ask the doctor. I don't see why not, but give me a minute, ok."
"Sure, I don't have any plans right now." I rolled my eyes and heard her chuckle as she walked out the door.
I stared at the ceiling, my eyes having adjusted to the light. The ceiling was cold white, with no cracks, so I couldn't even use a counting exercise to keep myself entertained. I don't know if Helene was gone for a minute or two hours; it felt like the latter. Suddenly, two faces appeared right in front of my face.
"Well, look who’s awake, Helene tells me that you would like to be moved?"
"Yes, please! I know that I will not be able to move, but it would be better than this ceiling." As if on cue, both of them crane their necks to see the offending ceiling.
"Ah, I guess I could see that being a bit boring." Helene looked back down to me, giving me a sweet smile.
"Yes, even if I just could look at people as they move in and out of the room. See the dust against the walls, something."
The doctor smiled slightly, "Sure, we can get that done for you, but I would rather not move you anymore after that."
Oh no, I hadn't thought about that, "Is it going to be painful?"
"No, no, you shouldn't feel a thing. Have you felt anything since you’ve been awake?"
"No, just my head up."
"Good, that’s just what we want. You will be numb until most of your healing is completed."
"Great, that’s a pain that I wouldn’t like to feel again."
"We are working to make sure that you don't." At that very moment, my world shifted. The doctor and Helene had moved me from my prone position into one where I was staring at the doorway.
"Oh, thank you, thank you so much." Even the look of the bricks against the wall was enough to spark my imagination.
"Well, I will be on my way then! You seem to be coming along quite well!" The doctor turned and made his way out the door.
Helene took her place in the chair near the wall, looking over some parchment she’d brought in with her. I watched her as intently as I’d watched anyone in my life. She really was a beautiful woman; her body was slight but strong. Expressions danced across her face at whatever she was reading in the parchment. Her eyebrows reached up to her hairline unevenly, and there was a small beauty mark, just a shade or two darker than her actual skin tone above her eyelashes on her right side. There were frown lines etched into her face but not deep enough yet to signify someone of great age. She fidgeted mindlessly with the small leather strap around her neck, dropping her hands from time to time to touch the papers in her hand. She rubbed her neck but only on the left side, never the right.
"Helene, leave the room." A soft but authoritative voice filled the air, snapping my concentration from Helene and Helene's off her reading. Jett had made his way to my quarters.
I had no idea what I should be feeling. I was fearful. I knew for sure he would try to get me to talk, and there was no way I would be able to defend myself in this position. I was worried because even in this dim light, I could see he didn’t look like he was properly taken care of. His tunic didn’t sit correctly, and his hair looked more disheveled than I would have liked to see, could he not function without me? I could see the strain in his eyes; he looked worried. What was he worried about? Me? Maybe that he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise, perhaps he had to banish me to the dungeons with the rest of the slaves. Whatever the case, I just wanted that look to disappear from his face.
"As you wish, your highness!" Helene dropped what she was doing immediately and made her way out of the room.
"Have they been taking proper care of you?"
"Well, I have only just woken up today, my lord, but so far, yes," I answered, doing my best to read his expression. You’d be surprised at how difficult it was to have a conversation when you are unable to move your body.
His shoulders stayed tight as he looked me over, not saying anything.
"May I speak freely?" I asked tentatively.
"Yes, speak plainly."
"Are you ok?"
I watched the tension roll off his shoulders and down to the floor, taking his posture with it. He walked over to the opposite wall that held various medical equipment but did not look back toward me. "Laramie... I," he sighed and raked his hands through his hair. "I am so sorry that you had to endure that."
Shock vibrated through my body, or I would assume it did as I couldn't feel it. "Sorry? Why?"
"Why? Did you see yourself after you were freed? It is one thing to punish, but that was torture. I tortured someone for being loyal to who they were as a person. What does that say about me? Am I so scared of the judgment from those below me, that I would be willing to do that no matter if I think it’s wrong or not?"
"Jett! Stop this at once! I will not have you beating yourself up for this. You saved my life!"
He scoffed and turned to look at me.
"I am serious, Jett, any other master, would’ve killed me on the spot as the rest of those around you, said to do. Being loyal does not always mean things are going to be easy; that’s why more people aren't loyal." I gave him a small smile to try and ease his mind. I wasn't lying either, I should have been dead but that tortuous time in the hot box was over, and I was still alive, receiving the best care there was at the castle. "You are new to the castle and those that inhabit it. Now was not the time to appear soft by allowing a human to go unpunished. You did what was needed as a leader, just as I did what I needed to do.”
"What can I do to make this up to you?" He walked over to me slowly, bringing the chair that was set by the door closer to me.
"Will you make me go back to Davorin?"
He rolled his eyes like I’d asked him a dumb question, "No, Laramie, don't be so absurd."
"Well, can you keep me company sometimes?"
I saw a smile shine through, that dimple forming deep on his face. "That I can do, and when I can't, I will make sure that you have whatever you need to keep your mind occupied."
I had no choice but to smile back, and I was glad to hear I would not be alone all the time. This feeling of being trapped was almost as bad as being in the hot box.
"So, what did you want to do?" He asked as he relaxed back into his chair.
"I don't know; there’s not much that I can do." I looked around, looking for inspiration from our surroundings, "Who is assisting you while I’m here?"
He huffed and looked away, "No one, I have to do everything by myself." He pouted like
a petulant child.
"Oh, I see how that’s a hardship for you." I smiled as I took in his attire once again.
"What could you ever mean by that?”
"Well, Jett, it doesn't look like you had a great time getting dressed today," I let my eyes slowly scan him, letting him know that I was looking at his attire.
He looked down, smoothing out his tunic and his pants, "What, did I do it wrong?"
I laughed, "You look a bit disheveled; that's all."
"Hmm, I don't have much experience getting all dressed up every day."
"Why is that? I’m sure you’ve been showered in silks and cashmere for the longest time." I fluttered my eyelashes to indicate my joking manner.