by Renta
She stared at me from over Tessa’s shoulder as she whispered just loud enough for me to hear, “Kill him, Mami! Kill him for, Twisted. Kill him for, Mena and Joe.” Tessa’s eyes glazed over as the Mexican girl continued to speak strength in her ear.
The clock was running out on me, so I said, “Who else was missing this entire week, Tess?” I stretched my arms out wide as if they were wings. My hands and face were covered with so much blood that it looked as if I had been crucified. As it leaked into my eyes, I went in for the kill. “Mena—you ain’t seen her since this nigga popped back up, huh?” I kept my eyes focused as I awaited the bullet that would end my life. I knew Twisted wouldn’t let me keep playing my hand. “Mena’s dead, Tessa and after y’all get me out the way, they gonna, do you. I can bet my life on it, that this Mexican bitch is more his friend than yours, huh?”
A light flicked in her eyes as the pieces snapped together. Her eyes left mine and settled on Twisted’s. Tears clouded her vision, she slightly shook her head as if she was trying to shake them away. In an instant, shit got ugly. Her aim diverted at the same time Twisted must have realized her plan. Through bloodshot eyes I watched the scene play like a horror movie, Tessa threw her head back as hard as she could and head-butted the Hispanic girl.
The distraction was all I needed, I threw myself to the ground in an attempt to avoid the reapers plan for me, but before I could make it out of harm’s way, heat rocked the side of my head. The impact was so powerful that my head snapped back, and I blacked out for a second. I fell face first and the only thing that prevented my teeth from being knocked out was the angle my head smashed against the ground. As soon as my face made contact with the earth my consciousness returned. My eyes snapped open as a heart-wrenching headache exploded in my head and made me shut them just as they opened.
I heard a scream of anguish that turned my blood cold as bullets flew over my head, and just as fast as the gunplay started, a deadly silence took its place. The atmosphere was tense as something heavy fell on the ground. My gut told me to play dead. Any indication that was there was a sign of life in me would send me to my demise. The sound of approaching footsteps made my already weak heart pound hard against my ribs. I just knew that whoever the last man standing was, they were on their way to finish me off.
It took everything in my nature not to turn onto my back and face my fate like a man, but somehow, I stilled my nerves, and took very shallow breaths, so shallow that to the naked eye it would appear I wasn’t breathing at all! My assailant approached, the dragging of their foot told me they’d been injured, and walking was a struggle for them. As the hot sun bore down, a lone shadow paused above me, I could feel them assessing me. Blood poured from the two head wounds I’d incurred, I knew I looked dead, but if the last one standing was Twisted, looking dead wouldn’t stop him from ensuring I was.
However, even if the sucka didn’t do me in, there was so much blood exiting my head that if they didn’t hurry up and end it, I’d surely have died from blood loss.
“God—I swear, my nigga if you let me make it outta this one. I’ll go to church every Sunday and I’ll stop killin’ all your children. I silently bargained with the heavens.
The shadow studied me for what seemed like forever before the silence was interrupted by a feminine voice laced with pain.
“Tw—Twisted, I’m hit, Papi, I need help!”
I recognized the Mexican girl's voice. God must have felt my plight because, after a few more seconds of deliberation, the shadow who I then knew was Twisted, moved like a wounded animal as he made his way over to the treacherous bitch. I took a gamble, I cracked my eyes open a lil’ to see what was taking place, but instantly blood dripped into my eyes. I blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear my vision without drawing too much attention to myself. As soon as I accomplished my goal, I regretted it. I damn near blew my cover as I fought down a roar that clawed its way up my throat.
Not even eight inches away from me, Tessa’s bloodied face was hideously swollen by the left temple. Her eyes were closed, and the skin above her right eye resembled ground beef. I ran my eyes over her. I couldn’t tell how many times she’d been hit or where, but one thang was for sure—there was no way she was getting up and walking away from that shit.
“Where you hit at, Sarah?” Twisted asked.
At the sound of his voice, I diverted my attention in his direction. About ten feet away, Twisted stood with his back to me. I couldn’t see the Spanish girl, but Twisted’s left pants leg was soaked in blood, the uzi was at his side, and he seemed to be favoring his left leg.
“My—my side, Papi, it—burns so bad,” The reply was strained.
She coughed and it sounded, gargled. I could tell blood was filling her lungs, she’d be dead if she didn’t get immediate medical attention. I watched Twisted assess her in quiet contemplation. As a predator myself, I already knew what he was thinking, see no evil, speak no evil! Dead people can’t tell no tales.
The blood loss made me dizzy, I watched Twisted come to terms with what needed to be done. Without a word, he raised the hand that clutched the tool and took aim at the lady’s head,
“No!” she cried out once she saw his crooked intentions, “I did this for you—I—I’m—I’m pregnant.” She coughed again, “will—will you—kill—” blood tainted her speech as it rushed up her throat. “Will you-you kill your own child?” she whispered as death danced in the air.
I knew the answer before he replied, “I like you shawty, but you’ll have to give birth in heaven or hell because I can’t risk allowin’ you to live, and it coming back to bite me in the ass later.” Twisted used his free arm to wipe his running nose, “Besides, the devil can do more for the lil’ mufucka than I can,” He sneered.
“Please, don’t—” that’s as far as she made it with her plea before fire flew from the short muzzle, and blood sprayed the air.
Though her face had obliterated, Twisted squeezed the trigger until the gun clicked. Before he could turn and catch me with my eyes open, I closed them tight and listened to his slow departure.
I heard the ignition turn over, but I didn’t open my eyes until I heard the squeal of his rear tires as he fishtailed away from the cemetery he left behind. As soon as my eyes opened, evil inflamed my veins. God must have been in the mood for favors because Tessa’s eyes fluttered open. The sun was so bright that I could feel my skin cooking under its radiance, so I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position. My equilibrium instantly betrayed me, I swooned in place for a few seconds before I was able to get my bearings, but the good thing was the blood dried around my wounds slowing the exit of my life from slipping through my skull.
I put my hand to the back of my head where Twisted’s bitch ass had clobbered me, the knot was sticky and throbbin’. I allowed my eyes to roam my surroundings, though we were deep in the country, I didn’t know if there were any nearby houses, so I needed to get the hell outta there. A whimpering sound startled me, Tessa was trying to turn over onto her back, but her limbs didn’t seem to want to cooperate with her will. Struggling to my feet, I had to steady myself. I looked down at Tessa through hooded eyes, ‘trust no bitch’ was the only thought as I scanned the ground for my pistol. It was three feet from the sluts outstretched hand.
So, I stumbled over to it and snatched it up before walking back over to Tessa. I used my foot to help her roll over onto her back. My breath caught in my throat, Tessa was in bad shape and it was a wonder she was still breathing. The woman wanted to live, that was for sho’. There were so many holes in lil’ one that she looked like she wore a polka-dot dress. Her intestines were exposed from one of the bursts from the powerful uzi and she choked on her blood as she attempted to speak. Her lips formed words that her vocals refused to give sound to, yet, two words did escape her lips that caused me to laugh in spite of my own pain.
“Help—me!” she croaked.
Our eyes bore into each other as her treason played behind my eyelids, the words sh
e spoke just moments, “Daddy, this silly nigga gave me his gun, let me do him with his own shit, please.”
She’d been so eager to put me to bed. I smiled as I stepped over her and squatted down straddling her. As she looked at me with a skeptical glance, I took her limp hand in mine and wrapped it around the handle of the burna. I held it in place so that mine was on top of hers.
Glaring at her from a dark place within my mind, I allowed Satan to speak through me, “I told you that day we made it official, treason is unacceptable! I told you I’d kill you, remember?” I watched her facial expression change with the recollection. “Yea, you remember,” I hissed.
Her eyes went wild as I pushed the barrel under her chin, her limbs still weren’t cooperating with her so she was as helpless as a paralytic.
“I have a secret you can take with you,” I professed through clenched teeth as visions of what I was gonna do to that fuck boy Twisted painted a picture in my mind so graphic that the thirst for his blood became so powerful I could actually taste it.
It took me a few moments to realize that the rust-tinted taste was my own. I was so enchanted by the thrill of whackin’ that boy that I’d bitten my lip. Fear was evident on Tessa’s face as I slowly applied pressure to her finger. I stared at my reflection in her eyes as I revealed to her a secret that she’d take to her grave, literally. “I killed lil’ Joe,” I whispered passionately.
As I stared at the shock registering on her face, my mind transported me back to that day. The feel of the burna vibrating in my hand as I hit that boy up—Mena’s shrill cries—the blood, it fed the beast in me and before I could regain control of it, I squeezed Tessa’s finger down on the trigger, Boc! Boc! Boc! Three shots blew her top off causing blood to splash against my face. Somewhere deep inside my thoughts, I envisioned myself standing over Twisted as he pleaded for his life, the thoughts were so appealing that subconsciously my dick hardened, and I laughed as I squeezed off three more shots into Tessa’s face. As I stood to leave, I steadied myself before hitting her one more time just in case God was still in the mood for favors.
****
~Freedom~
Panic raced through my veins as I stumbled through the untamed woods. It was so dark, I had a hard time seeing what was in front of me. The sounds of wildlife surrounded me and as if the woods had a warning signal, everything went silent. I stopped to listen, the night seemed to be alive. Maybe it was my paranoia, but I felt as if I was being watched. My fear mounted as uncertainty clouded my senses. I turned back the way I came, but it was so dark, I couldn’t tell where the woods began or where they ended. Exasperated, I collapsed to the ground in an emotional heap.
I cried uncontrollably, ‘How’d I get myself into this mess?’ I wondered, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my naked flesh prickled as insects began to swarm me in the night.
Chapter Two
Snakes—Rats—Death
~Assata~
~Two Days Later~
“Assata—Assata, Chile, wake yo’ butt up!”
I heard the soulful voice calling to me. I vaguely felt a distant pain. My body hurt, and I felt as if my arms would dislocate from their sockets, yet, I didn’t know why.
“Assata, if you don’t listen to me, you will die, and they will kill everything you love. I need you to wake up, baby.”
The voice beckoned to me, recognition stirred something inside my being. I tried to force my eyes open, but they were too heavy, I was so tired.
“Lovey?” I whispered. “I—I thought you—” my voice trailed off as a heavy mist swallowed my mind.
I could feel her love filling up the empty places inside my heart as the mist cleared. Sunshine lit the meadow; beautiful Gardenias, wildflowers, and groups of passion flowers perfumed the air as I observed my surroundings. Somewhere deeper inside the clearing I heard voices having what seemed to be a debate, so I took tentative steps toward them. I rounded a huge rose bush and there, not even ten feet away was Lovey.
She was debating with a man that I would recognize even if we were in a crowded room filled with men that looked exactly like him. His hair was braided in his signature two braids. He was dressed in some blood red Versace slacks, no shirt, and the pistol tucked into the back of his waistline made me smile. They had their backs to me, and uncertainty had my feet glued in place. The only thang that made sense was a reality that rocked my world. If these two people were together, and we were all in the same place—that meant this had to be Heaven!
Heaven? Maybe this was the waiting area that we had to sit in until God made his decision where he’d send us, or maybe this was hell. But why would Lovey be in hell? Hell naw, so maybe there was really a Heaven for a gangsta.
“Chile, you gonna just stand there and stare at us or come give us a hand with these weeds?” Lovey snapped me out of my thoughts.
She turned to stare at me, and as she did, my every fear and confliction melted into a puddle of peace.
Shy turned and tossed up the set. “What’s poppin’, Rusta?” Long time no ‘P’.”
Lovey smacked him in the back of his head. “What I tell you about that nonsense? You leave that devil’s talk at his house, not in my place of peace.” She smiled as Shy rubbed his head and flashed me a smile.
Seeing my nigga after so long touched my soul. All the bloodshed, pain and love that inflamed my heart since he’d gotten murked welled up in my eyes as I hit the set up and walked over to the only two mu’fuckas that ever understood my gangsterisms. Before I knew it, I was wrapped inside Lovey’s arms allowing rain to storm from my eyes. I hugged her so tight that I thought she’d break.
“I’m sorry, mama! I shoulda been there to protect you. I—I shoulda killed—”
Lovey silenced me. “Shush, Chile.” She released me and held my face in both hands like she always did whenever she wanted my undivided attention. “Chile, you couldn’t change Gods plans—” she whispered with water swimming in her eyes. “A man lives his life according to his heart—some things he’ll be able to control, and others he’ll have to leave for God to sort out. This is just one of those things God has to deal with on his own terms.” She released my face and smiled, then used her thumbs to wipe my tears.
Lovey looked at Shy, “Look who I have with me, Satta. He a sight for sore eyes ain’t he, baby?”
I turned to my brotha from another mama, he had that smirk on his face that he always wore when he was ‘bout to say some slick shit. “Look at you, my nigga—actin’ like a lil’ bitch!”
Without warning, Lovey swung a backhand, that he easily dodged, then the silly cat did the Ali Shuffle. We all laughed at his antics.
Then he said, “My fault, Lovey—you know I didn’t mean no disrespect.” He smiled in an attempt at disarming her and it worked like always.
“Chile, you watch your mouth, ya hear? A black man is powerful—mighty!” She balled her fist and shook it at him. “Back in the day, a man would kill you for that kinda language.” She turned to me, love was real in that black woman’s eyes. “I’ll talk to you later, Chile, I’ll give you two the space you need to catch up.” She pulled me into her arms for a warm hug before walking over to the rose bush. Lovey began inspecting each rose as she hummed an old Mahalia Jackson tune, “Move on a Little Higher,” a tune she always sung whenever she was deep in thought.
As soon as me and Shy were out of her earshot, our smiles dissolved and at that moment, it seemed as if there was so much to say, but neither one of us wanted to break the serenity of silence. A hare flew passed us, I jumped, Shy laughed. Out in the middle of the meadow, two tiger cubs chased each other through the brush.
Shy was the first to break the silence, “If shit was only that simple, huh, bleed?” He extended his right hand with his fingers in the shape of a ‘P’ for our customary gang shake.
My fingers instinctively formed the set, and we locked it up in a proper greeting, at least it was proper to us. “It’s never that simple for niggas like us, Bleed. T
hat’s why we come up out that fire ready to die for what we deserve,” I replied, facing him. I allowed a moment of silence to pass before I asked a question that plagued my mind. “Keep it bloody with me, Rusta—” I glanced around the huge garden before returning my hard stare to Shy. “I don’t remember nothin’, homie. How’d I—” I frowned in confusion before shaking my head, “I mean—” I had trouble formulating the words, but I guess Shy had anticipated me asking that very question.
He laughed as if my life was a comedy. “What—how’d you die, you mean?” He finished the sentence for me in between fits of laughter. I didn’t crack a smile, and once he realized I didn’t find shit amusing, he composed himself and shook his head. “Naw, Bleed, it’s not your time, yet. Them Russians did a number on you, but the O.G. ain’t want you yet,” he told me.
Skepticism painted my facial expression all this time I’d wondered if there was a God, and here was my chance to find out. “So—God is real, fam—you’ve seen that nigga with your own two eyes?” I wanted clarification.
I knew if anybody would give it to me uncut, Shy was that kinda kat. For some reason, his stare became saddened. “Assata, remember when we were pups, and so naïve to life that we believed we knew everything? Think ‘bout it, bro—” He squatted down and ran his hand over the grass before looking back at me. “—we didn’t have to be told Santa Clause wasn’t real—we never believed it anyway! We never had to be told that daddy wasn’t coming back home—we already knew he wasn’t—” Shy turned his eyes in Lovey’s direction. “They say the first thing a medical student loses is faith in God—” Shy looked up at the Heavens. “—you know why they lose faith, bro—” Without waiting on my answer, he answered his own question. “—the anatomy, when they began to open the human body and explore every aspect of it, they learn it!” Shy stood back up and dusted his hands off. “After fixing the heart—after discovering every aspect of the body, those people search and search, but the one thing they can’t seem to fix or find is the soul.”