by Peter Fang
He finally had chance to sit back and reflect. It was like having a mad conversation with someone inside his mind.
The voice continued, “You never can trust the toads. They cheated by giving Matt more power and vision, so he knew you were coming. If I had not granted you the protection, you would be dead by now.”
“Who are the ‘toads’ and why would they do that to Matt? Did he really kill my wife and kid, or were those visions I saw all made up?” Koda held his head with his hands, hoping the voice would go away, but it didn’t.
“Oh, they were real for sure. Matt and his cohorts in the police department were corrupt beyond description. You have no idea how high up it goes. But we were not supposed to interfere with the outcome, only to allow the competition to happen.”
“What competition?” Koda felt he was truly going insane by talking to a voice inside his head.
“It is a lot to take in, but it don’t matter right now. The trial is over and you are triumphant. That is all that matters.”
“Who are you and why did you help me?”
“Doesn't matter, you will learn in due time. You are the first human in a while who I have liked, so it doesn't have to be more than just that.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m just a messenger. That’s all you need to know right now. You will know more about us in due time.”
“Us?” Koda slowly recalled the suppressed memories.
“Oh, I can feel your power gaining a foothold. It’s kicking me like a nine-month-old baby inside a pregnant lady. You are strong and with a great constitution. I guess this is why Manfred picked you. You might even be related to our Queen.”
“Manfred? The guy at the stadium? I am related to the queen?”
“All in due time, human. We will be in touch again soon. Try to stay alive and good luck!”
“Wait—”
The voice dissipated like a dream, and the vision slipped away. Koda sat in the car, still confused. He retraced his memory, but there was nothing left. Slowly, part of the old memories came back, but he could only remember talking to someone important; then and a single word emerged in his head––Queen.
“Who is this Queen?” Koda asked the internal voice, but there was no echo. He realized that he had committed a crime, and he needed to get off the grid.
32
Know Your Affairs
They say the guilty mind wonders. After Reed’s men dropped Ansen off at the apartment, Ansen didn’t go inside right away. He checked into a nearby bar and ordered several stiff drinks, and then he had to go to the men’s room to clear his body. He could not stop shaking, and the man in the mirror looked harrowed and beyond tired. Images of Rebecca’s murder flooded his mind. He sat in the stall for almost half an hour before regaining composure.
Finally, Ansen got out of the stall, walked past the bartender, and gave her an extra tip.
The bartender girl gave him a tense look. “You okay, hon? Almost wanted to check up on you in there.”
“Yeah, it was just the usual dreadful workday.”
Ansen slowly walked out of the bar, feeling the stares at his back as the door shut behind him.
He decided not to take the elevator; rather, he wanted to buy time walking up the stairs, so he could act as normal as possible.
After what felt like an hour of stewing in his thoughts, Ansen finally reached the front door of his apartment. He took a deep breath and quietly reached for the doorknob and unlocked the front door. To his surprise, it was dark. He clicked on the light switch, but it answered with silence. The light bulbs are out? He inched around the room by memory, hitting the edge of the coffee table, then the nearby sofa, several times before finding the reading light. The light turned on, and Maria was sitting on the couch with Joey.
“Oh, shit, you scared me! Why are you two sitting in the dark?”
“I’m sorry, honey,” Maria answered almost in a trance. “We were taking a nap, and you woke us up.”
Ansen looked at Maria and could not believe that she would not be around in a few days. Seeing her before him was like a nightmare. He wondered if he really would miss her. This relationship had been a sham from the start, but in the past several months, he had grown fond of her. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth, but he knew it was too late. “The gears are already in motion,” his old man would say. He felt exhausted after the draining meeting with Mr. Reed, but he knew what was at stake so that he couldn’t show any of it in front of her. Seeing what she might become, like the girl Reed executed, pushed him near the brink of breaking his oath—never get emotionally attached. He wished to believe that he could just run away from all of this. Perhaps even take Maria with him, but he knew you couldn’t just run away from a job like this. Reed and his associates have long reach; they would hunt them down like animals.
He saw Maria’s eyes suddenly focused on him as if she was about to say something.
“What’s wrong? Why the glare?” Ansen felt uneasy. There was something in her eyes that was like a revelation––her eyes were wide and her pupils seemed dilated.
“Maria?” Ansen wasn’t sure if she heard him. “What are you thinking?” He nudged her with his left elbow.
Maria blinked, finally. “Nothing, I just realized I hadn’t had dinner yet, and I’m thirsty.”
“I can order your favorite Chinese food.” Ansen reached for his phone.
“No, I’m not hungry anymore.” She turned on the TV and flipped through the channels very quickly. Ansen was amazed at how quickly she could move her fingers on the remote without making a mistake. She settled on the King5 news.
Ansen checked on Maria, and she didn’t look well. He put his hand over her forehead. “Oh, you are burning up! You’d better go to bed. I’ll bring some Tylenol over to you.” Ansen couldn’t shake the sadness that he felt about Maria’s unfortunate fate, but he needed to find a way to distract her away from work, so Reed’s money could go through without getting seized by the feds. He had to do it quickly, or things would turn ugly very quickly.
“How is your work, honey?” Ansen asked casually. His voice was laced with the slightest trace of anxiety.
“How did you know I was still working? I had been sick for a few days. You sounded anxious; what’s bothering you at work?” Maria suddenly replied.
Ansen turned away and went to the medicine cabinet for some Tylenol. “Nothing is bothering me. I guess some of the clients are getting on my nerves. I didn't know if you were still working. I saw your laptop next to your bed, so I assumed you were trying to work. Is there something that important that you can’t just take a rest?”
“There’s ongoing audit work at the bank, and it’s busy as hell. One auditor at work got hit by a bicyclist while jogging, so I have to take over his workload on top of my own.” Maria paused with a calculated silence, inviting Ansen back into the conversation.
“Looks like you are coming down with a fever, so you really should get some rest and drink lots of fluids. When do you have to finish all your auditing?”
The TV’s volume was a bit high, so Ansen wasn’t sure if Maria had heard him. He was about to raise his voice, but then he realized Maria was almost standing next to him, holding the empty glass.
“Oh, shit, you are like a mouse. I didn’t even hear you walking over.”
“The medicine is not there. You are looking in the wrong place.” She paused, then asked, “Why are you interested in my work all of a sudden? You were interested in my work about three month ago, then you didn’t mention it again, but now you are interested in it once more.”
“Nothing, I'm just worried about you. I know how busy you can be around this time of the year. But you are not well enough to work long hours.”
Maria’s eyes caressed Ansen's face. “You know, I can read...” Her voice trailed into a murmur. She smiled and tugged at Joey’s ears as he walked up to both of them. “Go sniff Daddy and tell Mommy what’s on his mind.”
Ansen was
n’t sure if Maria was kidding. Did she figure out what was going on with the bank account? No, there's no way she could have known.
“Hey, Joey, what’s up? What’s going on with Mommy?”
Joey’s head tilted as he looked at Ansen, and then he looked at Maria in the eyes. He wagged his tail as he wandered over to sniff his hands.
Ansen backed away, put his hands into the sink, and turned on the water. “Hey, buddy, can you tell Mommy to take a rest? She needs to get well, but she won’t listen to me.” Ansen cupped his hands around Joey’s head and gave him a big hug. As he got close to Joey’s mouth, a foul smell hit him hard. “Whew, Joey, we need to give you a good teeth-brushing. What did you eat?” Ansen tugged on Joey’s collar, trying to get him to move, but Joey snapped at Ansen's hand, missing his finger by a hair.
“Joey! What is wrong with you?” Ansen pulled his hand back in disbelief.
Maria smiled. “He must have smelled something on you he didn’t like. Perhaps you were mingling with the wrong crowd?”
He felt a buzz from his phone.
Maria heard the buzz and joked, “Did you get a girlfriend while I was sick?” A hint of a smile belied her stern stares as she walked around Ansen and opened the other cabinet. “Here is the medicine you were looking for. Now please, hurry up and take care of me.” She shoved the small bottle at Ansen, gave him a peck on his cheek, then walked out of the kitchen area.
Ansen smelled a similar foul odor coming from Maria's mouth. “Hey, you smell like Joey. Did you two eat the same snacks? Fried squid?”
“That’s not funny. I’m sick, remember? You don’t expect an ill chick to have minty breath, do you?” Maria casually walked back to the couch and plopped back down. She then raised her voice over the TV’s sound. “I’m going to call in and take the rest of the week off. No more work!”
Making sure Maria was not looking, Ansen took out his phone and read the text message from an unknown number: Tomorrow’s weather is sunny, good for a walk.
Ansen knew the message’s meaning, and it made his heart sink. Of all the work he was involved with Reed, he had never fucked up this badly before, and he knew that Reed was not going to let something like this go. He was sure that Reed would use this chance to take him out. He thought about leaving town, but they would hunt him down.
Ansen made an herbal tea and took the medicine to Maria near the couch. “Be careful, the tea is still hot. Drink this to take care of your sickness and your bad breath.”
Maria took the hot tea and dropped the Tylenol in her mouth; then with one breath, she gulped down the tea.
“Wait, that didn’t burn your throat?” Ansen was amazed by Maria’s lack of pain.
Maria turned a lazy eye and shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t feel a thing. Perhaps it was my bad breath, you think?”
Ansen wasn’t sure what to say, except that something was very different about her. The comments she made in the kitchen made Ansen nervous. He wasn’t sure if Maria was really onto something, and more importantly, did she figure out that he was also involved in the money laundering scheme? He was thinking about asking Maria more probing questions, but realized it was probably too late for both sides: Mr. Reed would soon know that he got nowhere with the account, and Maria had kept a step ahead of him.
Ansen watched Maria from afar with her back facing him. She sat motionless, staring at the TV’s flickering screen and watching CNN’s twenty-four-hour news cycle. The animated news reporter was still standing in front of the old antique shop’s charred remains. The entire building had been destroyed from the fire. To other people in the city, this news might be just another late-night story on a slow day, but for Ansen, he could not believe that not too long ago, Maria and he were just there.
Ansen was uncertain what would roll off of his tongue when one of Mr. Reed’s associates needed an update; he felt torn and dejected. He had just realized in the last few days how much he enjoyed his time with Maria. All of the careful planning and the front he put up to get close to Maria went smoothly, but he never anticipated this feeling of weakness growing inside of him. Ansen even fantasized about getting away with Maria, but he knew they would never make it alive. People in his business killed for a mere hundred-dollar dispute, let alone millions of dollars like this transaction. If they ran, they wouldn’t get out of town before Reed hunted them down and peeled them like onions.
Three minutes later, Ansen got another text message from a different phone number with a cryptic message: Account?
Ansen was not really surprised that the message came so quickly, but his heart still skipped.
Maria heard the buzz, but she ignored Ansen.
“Sorry, love, I got to make a call upstairs.” Ansen stepped out of the kitchen and into the upstairs master bathroom.
He entered the text: Account still active, but she suspects something. Ansen knew if he sent this text, it would accelerate Maria’s death sentence. He felt a strong emotional reaction welling up inside. He scratched his chin to relieve a sudden itch. His thumb hovered over the phone’s “send” button for a long time before pressing down the key. He looked up in the mirror and didn’t recognize himself. Sorry, Maria, business is business.
Downstairs, the TV’s neon spectrum of shifting shapes danced in Maria’s view. She fought back the tears, but she could not make them stop. The harder she tried to block out Ansen’s thoughts, the clearer they became.
The sickness heightened her senses like never before. It felt like a veil was lifted from her mind, so she could see all the details that were just shadowy figures in her mind. All of the secrets that played out in Ansen’s head were transparent the moment he touched the front doorknob; the room was like an extension of her, and she webbed a funnel to seize other people’s thoughts like her own. The betrayal she felt from Ansen angered her; she thought about snapping his neck, but the other half of her wanted the whole thing to play out because she was curious.
Yes, her other half was curious, like watching kindergarten kids plan out war games against her.
33
Limb-by-Limb
Koda saw himself getting tied down to a wooden post on the ground. There were four different horses with ropes tied to his limbs. Someone behind him gave a shouting command, and the four horses took off. His joints popped, and then each limb separated from his body. He was still alive, but someone came over to him and severed his head with a knife. He looked down and saw his body dissolved into ashes.
Koda Xi woke up in his car with a splitting headache. He didn’t remember why he was in his car, only that it was parked in front of an abandoned farmhouse. He looked out the window and winced as the throbbing in his head amplified when he tilted it. The outside weather was gloomy, with the distant thunder being barely audible. He didn’t recognize the place. He took out his cell phone but found out it was out of battery. Koda turned the car key, but the vehicle wouldn’t start. Shit! You have got to be kidding me! Koda popped the trunk and checked the car. The battery was missing. Someone did this on purpose. Is this a prank by Decker? His partner was famous for his pranks—some of his tricks were legendary.
He looked around him and yelled, “Okay, Decker, very funny. Now get me out of here!” The echo somehow made the nearby trees and the dark trails come alive. A gust of chilly wind swirled down the valley and brushed the adjacent leaves. Koda sensed an imminent rain was coming as overhead thunder made a clap in the sky. Soon, large raindrops pattered down upon his shoulders. He heard a distant grunts of farm pigs. It reminded him of the pig farm he visited in Ellensbrrg. The farm house’s dark silhouette was very familiar to him, but Koda could not quite put his finger on it.
The numbness in his neck made him dizzy; he rubbed it with his hand and felt a sharp pain. I must have fallen somewhere. But how did I get here? And where exactly is here? He suddenly had the urge to cough––something was in his throat. He tried to cough it out, but instead, it made him vomit. When he was done, a string-like noodle was hanging fro
m his mouth. He took out his pocket flashlight and put a spot on the noodle that he pulled out of his mouth. It was not a string of noodle, but rather like shedding skin. He pulled the string up, and it fanned out into a web of leg-like shell. What the fuck did I eat last night? Must be one of Decker’s pranks. It must be.
Koda yelled into the darkness, “Hey, get your ass out here. This is not funny anymore!”
The darkness devoured the sound.
He recalled being the victim as well as the co-conspirator of many Decker’s pranks, but one thing stayed true—the pranksters were always nearby when the jokes played out. Maybe this time was not a prank.
Back at the apartment, Ansen finished with his texting on his phone. He quietly unlocked his door. He looked outside to search for Maria, but she was no longer in front of the TV set. Joey was standing outside the bathroom guarding the door. As he got closer, he noticed a putrid smell. “Oh my god, Joey, you stink!” Ansen then realized the smell lingered and was not just a case of bad gas from Joey. “Christ, Joey, where the hell did you go today?” Ansen got close to the bedroom and saw the door was closed. He slowly turned the knob, but the door remained locked. He listened carefully and heard a strange noise inside. It sounded like snoring, but the pitch was too high. What a weird noise—the fever must have made her throat dry. Ansen backed away to give Maria privacy. He turned around and looked at Joey. “Okay, you absolutely need a bath, now.” He led Joey to the downstairs bathroom and locked the door behind them.
Upstairs, Maria was standing near an open window. Her mouth was wide open, and tentacles were streaming out from her mouth.
After several long, bewildering minutes, Koda believed that this was a sick joke Decker had set him up to. He was deciding what he was going to do to Decker when he heard a familiar sound in his head. Time slowed down, and Koda remembered why he was there. It was a desire that coursed through his mind, growing stronger, and tighter, like a snake that was constricting around him. He could see clearer now; pieces of old memories were surfacing from his subconsciousness. As the tone in his head grew stronger, so did the desire to obey. The sound in his head directed him to go into the farm.