Guts & Glory: Ryder (In the Shadows Security Book 2)

by Jeanne St. James

  She pursed her lips. “Never thought that man had any kind of soft emotions in him.”

  “He proved everybody wrong. Even himself.”

  “Well, Jewel has always been a petite powerhouse and stubborn as shit.”

  He snorted. “Like someone else we know.”

  She jerked her shoulder. “When you’re raised in a club full of hard-ass bikers, you tend to act like one, too.”

  “Not one of them acts a fool, darlin’.”

  “They’ve all had their moments.”

  That was certainly true. Not just bikers but former special forces. Sometimes it took a good knock upside the head to see things more clearly.

  Not in his case, of course, but Mercy’s. That man had found the perfect woman for him, but he let her slip from his fingers. He didn’t want to burden her with his issues.

  It only took two blows to the head for him to see Rissa was the right woman to deal with his shit. One from a steel pipe, the other from Jewelee’s hard truth.

  “You hungry?” he asked. While he meant breakfast, the look on her face clearly wasn’t about food.

  “Could be,” she murmured, sliding closer to him.

  Yeah, even with a concussion and a botched ankle, his cock was raring to go. Right now his injured brain needed all of his blood to heal. While normally he’d partake in a little self-help to redistribute that blood, this morning he hadn’t woken up alone.

  Which meant getting his erection under control could be a lot more satisfying.

  If she was willing.

  Watching Kelsea run her tongue over her bottom lip made his cock flex. Yeah, she might be willing.

  “Must be a real pain when one part of your body is always giving away how horny you are.”

  “You mean like your nipples?” Because, fuck, the way they were pressing through the thin cotton, it appeared as if they could cut glass.

  She glanced down at her own breasts, then cupped them, squeezing them together. “I could be cold.”

  “You ain’t cold.”

  She smiled again and met his eyes. “No, I’m not.” She kneaded her breasts and brushed her own thumbs back and forth over the tips, making them stand out even farther.

  “Can’t fuck you, darlin’, but you keep doin’ that, I might get creative.”

  She shot him a wicked smile that went right down to his balls. “You need to rest.”

  “A man can’t rest when you’re doin’ shit like that.”

  “Like what?” She sat up and tore the tank top over her head, whipping it to the bottom of the bed. “This?” She snagged both of her nipples between her fingers and twisted and pulled at the same time.

  He groaned. And it wasn’t from his head pounding, it was from his smaller head throbbing.

  “Darlin’, seriously, this isn’t helpin’ my situation,” he moaned.

  “Maybe this will...”

  “Fuuuuck...” he groaned when she ripped his boxers down just far enough to wrap her little hot mouth around that throbbing head. One hand gripped the root while lightning shot into his balls with each suck of her mouth and lap of her tongue.

  He leaned his head against the headboard and worked his fingers into her hair, closing his eyes. If he watched her, he might shoot his load too quickly. Instead, he let the pleasure surge through him. Tightening his fingers into her hair, he let her set the pace, not encouraging, not discouraging, just sitting back and enjoying what she was doing.

  However, when her fingers released his cock and she moaned around him, he couldn’t help but open his eyes. Her fingers still twisted her own nipple, which was peaked and darker than normal. Her other hand was now down the boxers she was wearing and she was rocking her hips back and forth.

  “Darlin’,” he breathed. She was going to kill him.

  She tipped her eyes up to him and his chest tightened.

  He might regret his next demand. “Boxers off.”

  Without releasing him, she shimmied out of them, then her hands went quickly back to work.

  Yeah, he was going to regret that. But it would be worth her razzing him if he came too quickly.

  And he was going to regret this, too. “Turn around. Let me.”

  She released him with a wet pop and scrambled around. As she took him into her mouth again, he pushed her hand away from her pussy and slid his fingers through her wetness.

  Jesus. He wanted her to climb on his lap and ride him like a wild pony. That wasn’t going to happen.

  That wasn’t going to happen.

  Damn. That wasn’t going to happen. Instead, he slipped his fingers inside her, and began to work his thumb over her clit. He had to put what he was doing on autopilot because her skills with her mouth and tongue was fucking with his concentration.

  Curling his fingers, he found the spot which made her clench around him, both her inner muscles and her mouth.

  “Don’t neuter me with your teeth when you come, darlin’.”

  She didn’t react to his words, but continued to work her magic, which made his head spin and not from his concussion.

  The pressure in his balls increased to the point where he knew he wasn’t going to be able to stop what was going to happen next. He was at that tipping point, where it wouldn’t take much more.

  He needed to get her to that same point and quickly. “Ease up a bit,” he forced out.

  She ignored him and increased her pace instead.

  He set his jaw and with the hand he released from her hair, smacked her hard on the ass. “Ease up, Kelsea.”

  Again, she ignored him, without releasing him, she twisted her head and narrowed her eyes on him. The defiant look didn’t go unnoticed.

  He smacked her ass again, this time harder, and when he did, she groaned again around his cock and she squeezed his fingers tightly.

  “Gonna play that game, huh?”

  She smiled around his cock, sliding her tongue up the ridge.

  “Gonna come and leave you behind then. Was tryin’ to—”

  Her mouth tensed around him but she managed to avoid sinking her teeth in as she clamped around his fingers and he felt the ripples of her orgasm. She moaned around the head of his cock.

  And that was all he needed to push him over that edge as he came in her mouth and she took him all.

  His eyes had closed when he came, but he opened them when he heard her chuckle after letting him slip from her mouth.

  “When are you going to learn, I like it when you spank me?”

  “Noted. Good thing I like to spank you.”

  She sat up, turned around and resettled against his side, curling around him, careful of his bum ankle. “Your accent gets thicker after you come.”

  He shrugged. “’Cause afterward I get lazy.”

  “Why would you try to hide it?”

  “When you’re called a dumb hick one too many times because of it, you learn to hide it.”

  “Who called you a dumb hick?”

  “It was a long time ago.” And a conversation that wasn’t necessary. Between his time in the military and then living in Pennsylvania the last few years, he’d managed to diminish his southern accent.

  “Well, you’re hardly dumb. Can’t say you’re not a hick, though. Especially when you fed me groundhog.”

  He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. “Thanks, I think. Also, having an accent in Pennsylvania draws notice. Some of the shit we do, I need to do it without catchin’ anyone’s attention. A lot of times I need to blend in.”

  “Well, I think it’s hot.”

  He glanced down at her, cuddled against his side. “Well, now you know what to do for it to come out.”

  She lifted her gaze to his. “Come being the important word.”

  He brushed his thumb over her cheek and studied her. “How you feelin’?”

  “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

  “I’m talkin’ ‘bout up here.” He tapped her temple lightly. “Any urges pullin’
at you?”

  She tilted her head and tucked her bottom lip between her teeth. After a moment, she shook her head. “No, not right now.”

  But could he trust her to go to town and not stop to pick up a bottle of liquor or simply take off, deserting him?

  She pushed away from him, climbing from the bed. “I’m going to make you some breakfast since you haven’t eaten in over a day. I’ll do my best not to burn your eggs and toast.”

  “I’d appreciate it.”

  He watched her pull on his tank top and boxers and wander toward the kitchen.

  “Darlin, you up to takin’ the Scout into town after breakfast for a supply run?”

  She stopped to peer over her shoulder and arch a brow at him. “You remember the safe combo?”

  “Now I do.”

  “Did you have selective memory yesterday because you didn’t want to go to the hospital?”

  He grimaced. “No. I wasn’t lyin’ ‘bout that.”

  “Do you trust me?”

  Well, that was a loaded fucking question. He sucked in a breath before asking, “Can I?”

  She turned all the way around back toward the bed, her hands on her hips, her head tilted as she looked at him. “Only way you’re gonna find out is if you put that quarter in the slot and take a chance.”

  No doubt about that.

  Kelsea blew out a breath. She did what she promised. She took his Scout into town with his hand-written directions and found the Walmart about an hour away. Bought a large box of condoms and decided to throw a second box in, just in case. Along with some lube, which he didn’t request. She also purchased a prepaid cell phone.

  Again, just like he asked.

  She also picked up stuff for easy to make meals. One of them being a box of spaghetti and a jar of sauce along with frozen meatballs and garlic bread. She wasn’t a cook at all but she could pull off a mean spaghetti as long as she didn’t have to do it from scratch.

  She had accomplished everything she came to town for. And now it was time to head back.

  But, no, here she sat. Behind the wheel of his precious “baby”—his description, not hers—in the parking lot of some half-empty strip mall. She had pulled into a spot where she could see the sign above the door of one of the occupied stores. It read Blue Grass Spirits.

  The “spirits” weren’t of the ghostly kind, either.

  Hence, her indecision.

  She had been good so far. She fought and won against the temptation to buy a second burner phone. One for her that she could keep “just in case.” But common sense won out since she was using his credit card, so he’d see the charge. And she had no doubt he’d check them.

  He’d especially be looking for alcohol. He was smart enough not to give her cash.

  Not that Kelsea blamed him.

  But now the urge to take a risk, to buy a bottle of whiskey, vodka, rum, something, was winning.

  She could have driven right past. She did it on the way into town without a problem, but leaving was a different story. She had automatically pulled in. It reeled her in like a fish on a line.

  But a fish would fight more. A fish had the strong instinct to survive.

  She was weak.

  So weak.

  She pressed her forehead to the steering wheel and closed her eyes.

  She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to scrub those awful memories from her brain.

  For years she had buried them. She thought she’d been successful. That they were buried so deep they’d never resurface. But when her half-sister Brooke came to Shadow Valley searching for her biological father, only to find out her mother had been raped by Pierce...

  She didn’t know Brooke was her half-sister until the other secret came out. The secret her mother kept from her. That the man Annie worked with at the MC’s gun shop was really her father. She had kept it from him, from her own daughter, from everyone.

  And that’s when things surged back to the surface. Where the shame prickled along her skin. Where the disgust churned her stomach. Where she had a problem looking in the mirror because when she did, she began to see some of the similarities to the man whose sperm created her.

  She was blonde and blue-eyed, while the rest of the females on the Dougherty side of the MC family were all dark-haired, except for her cousin Ivy, who was a redhead. Ivy and Kelsea were the oddballs due to their fathers’ genetics.

  She lifted her head and watched as customers walked in and out of the liquor store. Walking in empty-handed, walking out with booze.

  It would be easy. Walk in, use Ryder’s credit card, walk out.

  Drive away.

  Disappear.

  Find somewhere no one knew her. Where she could live without anyone knowing anything about her. Start a new life.

  She ground the heels of her palms into her eyes and screamed, the sound filling the empty Scout.

  She could take the easy way out. But would it really be easier? Or just more avoidance?

  Would she just be re-burying her issues instead of facing them head-on?

  By taking off and deserting Ryder, she would be kicking him in the nuts. Not only by leaving him to fend for himself up at his cabin, but by doing so, being unappreciative with what he was trying to accomplish.

  Helping her.

  He didn’t have to do so. He didn’t have to take time out in his life. He didn’t have to deal with her being a pain in his ass.

  He did it anyway.

  He not only sacrificed for his country, but he sacrificed for her. Maybe it wasn’t quite the same, but she should be more appreciative.

  She had been gripping the steering wheel so hard, her hands were beginning to cramp.

  She needed to head back. It was her turn to help him.

  It was also time for her to start being responsible. Stop disappointing her family. Beg for her job back from her sister, Brooke. Maybe even take her up on being a partner in the interior design business. Get serious about life.

  Have a goal. A purpose.

  Do something to make everyone proud.

  Brooke had offered her a partnership back in the beginning when she first set up her business in Shadow Valley after moving it from Harrisburg. But then Kelsea continued to disappoint her. Become unreliable.

  Not a business partner anyone in their right mind would want.

  Her gaze slid to the prepaid cell phone on the passenger seat. Picking it up before she changed her mind, she hit the power button and as soon as it lit up, she plugged in Brooke’s phone number and sent a text.

  I promise 2 B a better sister. ~K

  She put the phone back down and stared at it. A minute later a text came through: Where R U? Do U need help?

  “Yes,” she whispered into the quiet interior of the Scout. No, I’m fine. C U soon.

  “I’m fine.” What Ryder kept repeating when he wasn’t. “I’m fine” was a way to get people to stop worrying. To brush off their concern.

  She also wasn’t sure if the part about seeing Brooke soon was true or not. She wasn’t sure what Ryder’s plan was. But whatever it was, she would go along with it.

  Instead of reaching for the door handle, she gritted her teeth and turned the key, his Scout roaring to life. She pushed in the clutch, shoved the shifter into first gear and pointed the vehicle back toward Ryder’s cabin.

  Chapter Fifteen

  To say he didn’t fret, wondering if she’d come back, would be a lie. A big one. If he hadn’t been injured, he’d have been pacing. But then if he hadn’t been injured, she wouldn’t have gone to town at all.

  He put a lot of faith in her to do the right thing.

  And for fuck’s sake, she did.

  Though, as soon as she handed him the phone and went back outside to unload her purchases, he quickly logged onto his credit card account and scanned the locations where she’d used it.

  The gas station just outside of town where he told her to fill the tank and Walmart. They didn’t sell liquor at either pl
ace, so he was pretty sure she didn’t do anything stupid.

  He leaned his head back against the headboard and blew out a relieved breath.

  She came back inside carrying several plastic bags full of stuff.

  “Darlin’, as soon as you’re done, come on over here.”

  She glanced over at the bed, set the bags down on the counter and nodded. “’Kay.” Then headed back outside.

  After two more trips, she shut the front door and immediately headed over to him.

  “Sit.”

  She sat on the edge of the mattress close to him, her brows furrowed. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothin’. You did good.”

  His heart squeezed when her face lit up, but she quickly hid it.

  “Gimme some sugar,” he said. When she leaned in, he curled his fingers around the side of her neck and held her close while brushing his lips lightly over hers. “You taste good.”

  “Drank a pop on the way back. Want one?”

  “Yeah. But in a minute. Need more of that sweetness first.” His fingers slid up her neck, through her hair and wrapped around the back of her head to pull her closer. He nibbled along her bottom lip, then took her mouth completely.

  Their tongues tangled for a few minutes and her palm pressed flat over his heart which was thumping strongly.

  She was not good for him. No way, no how. But he couldn’t deny that there wasn’t something about her that did it for him.

  More than something.

  A lot of things.

  But he needed to keep his boots planted securely on the ground and remember who she was.

  She was a smart woman who just had done some dumb things. She was a woman who had been letting her past decide her future. She was a woman who had stopped caring.

  She could have the world by the balls if she just reached out and grabbed them.

  Speaking of balls... “You grab condoms?”

  She pulled back and smiled. “Two big boxes.”

  “You did good,” he repeated.

  “I figured.”

  “A good pair of shoes?”

  “Bought a pair of sneakers.”