‘Um. OK.’ Please let it be lust-related. Please let them get back to mindless.
‘Let me take you home, let me hold you, so we can sleep—like we did last night.’
Her eyes closed, blinking for a second longer than usual in relief and in anticipation of security. In those precious moments when Daniel was beside her, inside her, all feeling of inadequacy fled. All thought fled—especially the nagging doubt. It was one thing he could offer her, and fool that she was, she’d take it gladly.
In his apartment he didn’t bother with lights, just kept hold of her hand and led her straight to his room. With gentle arms that soon became passionate he held her close to him, stroked and kissed her body as if it were the most precious thing. He saved his own release until he was certain she’d had hers and then some. And eventually she was too tired to figure the confusion.
Feeling at peace, he heard her breathing regulate and deepen—she was asleep. He glanced at the neon light of his digital clock—his nemesis. Ordinarily minutes passed like hours as he suffered through his usual sleeplessness. Only tonight it wasn’t such a struggle because he had her to hold. He relaxed and let his mind wander. She’d been so angry this evening, and had made some good points. Evidence was an area that interested him a lot. How to make the law better, the judicial system fairer. He frowned as he thought about her experience. His body tightened. Someone had tried to hurt her and she’d been hurt far worse by the people who should have been protecting her. So now, she’d developed a mouthy shell as her defence. He wanted to breach that defence—wanted to be let in to the vibrant warmth she had inside.
Irritated by his pathetic obsessing over her, he concentrated on the career decisions he’d have to make in the near future. Courtroom versus lecture theatre. His father wanted him to be partner and women like Sarah were attracted to his status. But success at work didn’t equate with success in relationships. Look at his father—a stellar career and yet it still hadn’t been enough to keep his mother happy.
He circled back to Lucy. She didn’t care much for what he did, but she seemed to have an unshakeable faith in his ability—and in him. That both touched and terrified him. Yet she didn’t expect anything from him herself. She just wanted him, as he was.
Smiling into the darkness, he relived some of those moments of want. He must have drifted off because it was relatively late again when he woke. She was the one to sleep in this time. She was using his chest as her pillow, her hair draping over it, her warm breath fanning over his chest. He was careful not to move, not wanting to disturb her.
Her hand rested on his stomach and he concentrated really hard on not getting too hard because he wanted her to have as much sleep as she could before the time would come when he’d have to slip away. That would wake her and he knew she wouldn’t get back to sleep after that. Then he noticed her hand was sliding south, to his lower abdomen, and he figured his effort might be wasted—she wasn’t asleep at all any more.
‘Lucy,’ he said, unable to get his voice louder than a whisper as her head began to follow the direction of her hand, her mouth pressing kisses in a line directly down. She brushed her hair back behind her ear so he was able to see her face in profile as she moved down the bed, moved down on him. Anticipation shook through him as she licked her lips. He clenched the sheet—and his teeth, the sigh whistling through them as she took him in her mouth.
Half of him wanted to keep staring, watching her beautiful mouth and beautiful hair wrap round him, while the other half wanted to close his eyes and descend into an almost semi-conscious state so he could just focus on the way she made him feel and the way she felt.
What a way to wake up.
CHAPTER TWELVE
You enjoy the challenge of competition
EARLY afternoon Lucy polished the beer taps as a displacement activity. Mindless. She was not going to think about what on earth was going on between her and Daniel. For the first time in her life she felt better about her past. He’d listened. He’d reasoned. And she’d slipped even more under his spell. She was dangerously close to equating spectacular sex with latent love. Although her feelings for him were growing less than latent and more like lethal. She’d told him she wasn’t stupid, but she was starting to suspect otherwise. She’d have to be, to fall for Daniel. Mr Never Ever Committing.
She was not going to panic.
Ah, hell. Who was she kidding? Her heart pounded at double speed every moment. Trying to figure him out, not trying to figure them out—it was exhausting. Sarah walked into the bar. Lucy tensed, not sure what Sarah could want. Quite certain she didn’t want to know. But she could bluff her way through it—make as if she didn’t mind whatever the woman had to say. ‘I thought you’d still be in court.’
‘Daniel is. He doesn’t need me.’
Lucy stared but refrained from making the comment that leapt to mind. ‘Right. Well, can I help you somehow?’
‘A chardonnay would be nice.’
‘Sure.’
She went to the fridge and got a bottle.
‘You want one?’
‘No, thanks, I’m working.’
‘Yes.’ Sarah gave the bar a scathing glance. ‘Daniel said you did music at university.’
‘Mmm hmm.’ What was he doing discussing her—especially with Sarah?
‘You didn’t want to play in an orchestra?’
‘I’m not good enough,’ Lucy said boldly. ‘I only did music because my best friend was and I needed to pick something. It’s not really a great passion or talent of mine.’
The slightly startled look in Sarah’s eyes gave some satisfaction. But clearly the woman was here to belittle her so Lucy decided to make a clean breast of it and do it all by herself. ‘I waitressed my way through the holidays and when I finished my second-rate degree I fell into waitressing full-time.’ She poured Sarah’s wine and then picked up another glass to polish.
‘So you’ve been working as a barmaid since you graduated.’
Lucy momentarily stopped wiping the glass. ‘With time off for slacking around, yeah.’
‘Well, they do say opposites attract, I guess.’
‘Meaning?’
‘You and Daniel. You’re not exactly alike, are you?’ She leant forward as if they were sharing confidences in a girly chat. ‘Daniel’s going places. Places I’m not sure you’re aware of, Lucy.’
‘Oh? How interesting. Do tell.’ She smiled, feeling her cheeks pinch with the effort of pulling them back.
‘He’s targeted as the next partner for the firm, the university is chasing him to lecture there and there’s even talk of him being one of the youngest to be appointed to the bench.’
‘As in be a judge?’
Sarah nodded. ‘He needs a partner who can keep pace with him. Who can hold her own in that society.’ She wrinkled her nose at the wine and set it down again, not sipping. ‘He has a lot to decide in the next while—which direction he’s going to go in. He needs a woman who can help him make that right decision.’
‘I’m thrilled to know he has such a glittering future ahead of him. Makes him all the more attractive, don’t you think?’ Lucy held the glass up to the light and looked at it as if it were some cut-crystal masterpiece worth hundreds. ‘I’m such a lucky girl, aren’t I? But as for helping him with his decisions, well, you know, Daniel’s a big boy.’ She paused for effect. ‘I’m sure he can figure it out for himself.’
‘I’m quite sure he will, Lucy. But you wouldn’t want his options limited because his wife wasn’t able to hold her own.’
Wife?
Lucy held back the laugh with a mental vice. The woman was way off-key. But frankly she was so horrible, Lucy didn’t want to make her feel any better. Wife? She and Daniel were having a no-holds-barred sex-a-thon for no apparent reason other than that it felt good. So good. And they got more sleep as a result.
She already knew she was way out of Daniel’s league. She didn’t need lawyer-lady ramming it even further down her gagg
ing throat. But there was nothing more to it, not for him anyway. They’d fully admitted they were totally wrong for each other. He’d be bored soon enough and she’d hit the road and mend her heart in private. But she certainly wasn’t going to leave him for this calculating monster to try to get her hands on. They lived in New Zealand in the twenty-first century. There wasn’t supposed to be a class system. Snobbery of that sort wasn’t supposed to happen here. Although, she grimaced, remembering the shocked-looking stares of the other lawyers outside the courthouse when Daniel had kissed her, maybe the legal fraternity was a little more conservative than most.
He’d even admitted he’d liked using her to shock. It was all just a bit of fun for him. Crossing the wire, doing something a little different or unexpected—for a while. He’d laugh about it in years to come—I once had this flaming affair with this drifter muso—she was a flake but good in the sack. I spent more time in bed with her than I ever did usually. She was a convenience—that’s all.
She knew she wasn’t being fair, but she couldn’t help it.
She wasn’t even a musician—not any more. When was the last time she’d opened her violin case? Not once since bumping into Daniel in the agency that afternoon.
And Daniel a judge? If he were appointed his life would be different. He’d be a pillar of society—scrupulous. A little reserved, distanced from the general population—not too far from how he was now. So, no, he couldn’t be married to a girl who served up pints for the local clubbers. Not good enough.
Married. Ha.
She’d take what she could get from him—until she decided it was time to move on. Until they heard from Lara. When Lara came back she’d hit the road. Until then she could keep a handle on it, couldn’t she? Not lose her heart in the process.
Meantime she was not going to let this woman make her feel inferior with a stab here and a twist of a knife there. She was not going to let it bother her at all. Quickly she sifted through her CDs and rammed one in, selecting the track. As Sarah left the bar, her wine untouched, the strains of Tammy Wynette’s classic sang out—‘Stand By Your Man.’
The minute Sarah had gone Lucy called to Corey that he was on his own for a couple of hours. She needed to get out and think. She had the itch and was starting to wish she could skip out. Things were getting just that little bit too complicated.
She got back to the bar just after four p.m., having almost walked the heels off her boots, and was amazed when she saw Daniel there. In casual—well, as casual as Daniel got—navy linen shirt, sleeves rolled back, bending over the pool cue apparently in a duel with Corey. His bottom half was clad in jeans. Jeans. In the middle of the afternoon.
Lucy walked straight over to him. ‘Where’s your white shirt?’
‘I gave a lunchtime lecture at the university today. Figured I didn’t need it.’
‘And now you’re following through on the student thing and bunking the afternoon to go to a bar?’
‘I’ve taken the afternoon off.’
‘You’re kidding.’
He grinned. ‘Four jury members are down with food poisoning and everyone’s excused until tomorrow. So I made it to the lecture in time. I’ve done enough for today.’
She looked him over. ‘Lecture popular?’
‘Good crowd, yeah.’
Full house, she bet. ‘Lots of girls? Front row? Looking gorgeous?’
A small smile. She gave him the once-over again. He did the ‘handsome young professor’ look well. Too well.
‘What—you think they weren’t there to hear me talk?’
‘Oh, I’m quite sure they were hanging on your every word.’
Lucy leaned against a table nearby and watched as Daniel played the shots. The final shots—he sank the black in style.
Corey groaned. ‘Aw, man, I thought you said you didn’t play much.’
Daniel grinned, putting the pool cue aside. ‘Just lucky, I guess.’
Yeah, right. ‘Are you good at everything you do?’ Man, it irritated her. That he could turn his hand to anything and master it—excel, in fact, just like that. Why wasn’t talent shared around normal people?
He smiled at her snap. ‘You tell me. Am I good?’
She glared. ‘You know you are.’
‘You game to take me on, then?’ He nodded towards the table.
She had already taken him on that table in a far more serious game than she was willing to admit and he was winning at that hands down. She shook her head. ‘I have to work.’
‘You’re working too hard.’ He followed her over to the bar.
‘Rich coming from you.’
‘I’m serious. The hours you’re working are too long.’
She cupped her hands around her mouth like a pretend megaphone. ‘Pot calling kettle, come in, kettle.’
‘I’m used to it.’
Meaning she wasn’t? Thanks very much. Despite knowing he was right it annoyed her. He thought she was a flake. Not up to the job, unable to sustain and maintain a decent work ethic. ‘Yeah. Well. Life’ll pass you by.’
He cocked his head and studied her, abandoning Corey’s suggestion of a best-of-three competition. ‘What’s up?’
‘Your friend was in here earlier.’
‘Friend?’
‘Yeah, the woman you work with. What’s her name—’ she showed her deep-in-thought face ‘—um…?’
‘Sarah?’
‘Yes, that’s it. Sarah.’
His eyes were dancing and she knew her pretence at forgetting the witch’s name was as bad an acting job as you could get.
‘What did Sarah have to say?’
‘Oh, she was full of your future.’
His brows shot up. ‘My future?’
Lucy nodded. ‘Apparently you’re the man, Daniel. Partner, professor, even a judge if the rumours are to be believed.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, I’m next up for a full partnership and the dean of the law faculty called me in this afternoon. There’s a position coming up.’ He grinned. ‘I think the judge thing is a little premature.’
Yeah, but he wasn’t denying it was a possibility.
She filled her trusty red bottle with water from the postmix and tried not to remember his torso in the sodden shirt from that night. That was the trouble with the postmix these days—every time she went to use it, she thought of him. She frowned at it.
‘Why was Sarah talking about that with you?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. It just came up in passing.’ She decided not to totally backstab the woman. He had to work with her. And if he had one of his two-date flings with her, what did Lucy care? She’d have left town and forgotten all about him.
Her frown deepened.
‘You don’t find talking about my career fascinating?’ he teased.
She glanced up. ‘Oh, no. It’s interesting. You’ve worked really hard to get to where you are. It’s pretty amazing.’
He shrugged. ‘Life isn’t all about good grades.’
‘It is for you.’
‘You’re not as much of a slacker as you like to make out.’ He pulled her up. ‘You didn’t scrape by, Lucy—you went to university, you got a degree. You’re not a drop-out.’
‘That was only because of Sienna—my best friend. We got into music together. It was a hobby, an excuse to go into her garage—supposedly to practise but more to hang and chat. A way of getting away from my parents.’
‘I guess I was lucky finding what I wanted to do early on. It was always law for me.’ He drummed his fingers on the bar. ‘Have you never had something you’re passionate about? That you eat, breathe and sleep?’
She had something now. Something she really wanted to excel at—could excel at. Two things, in fact. How was it she’d finally found what she was meant to do, and the man she was meant to do it all with, and it be so, so wrong? She could never, ever share it with him. It wasn’t something he was capable of. He was too busy serving a higher purpose.
He took her silence as
a negative.
‘What about your violin?’
‘What about it? It was a hobby taken too far. My heart was never in it—you can hear it in my playing.’
‘You love country music, though.’
‘Yeah.’ She chuckled. ‘But that’s just for fun. Ever heard Bach played country-style?’
‘Can’t say I have.’
‘I’ll do it for you later.’
‘There’s only one way you’ll get me listening to you playing country.’
‘How?’
‘Naked. Naked country-music playing.’
‘Naked?’ Her shriek caused customers three tables away to turn to them.
He relented. ‘Oh, OK. You can wear your cowgirl boots.’
She swatted him with the bar towel and played out the mock outrage a little more. She was secretly turned on by the whole idea but annoyed because she knew he read her mind. He lazily took his seat at the end of the bar and toyed with his drink, chatting idly to Corey about who was top of the table in the rugby.
Lucy kept staring at him out of the corner of her eye. She’d never seen him so relaxed. Daniel doing down time was even more attractive than Daniel doing single-minded obsessive.
It was only halfway through the evening when he called to her, devilish temptation in his face. ‘Come home. Leave Corey to finish up tonight.’
‘Just because you’re having a night off doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t have to work.’
He was more dangerous tonight than she’d known him to be these entire two weeks. And her heart was doing dangerous pittery-pattery, skittery moves.
‘Don’t worry about it. Corey can handle it.’
‘No, really, Daniel. I have to work. You go on ahead of me.’ She jerked her head to the door.
He looked put out. Because he expected her to put out every time he fancied it? She decided the fact she fancied it too was irrelevant because for her it was way more than lust—more than just a physical relief to bring dreamless nights. She was starting to dream—impossible dreams. He was in the premier division; she was on the reserve bench of the Z-grade. Sarah’s words had left a little welt that was now festering, and the infection was spreading. She could never keep him. She could never keep up with him—she’d only hold him back.
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