by Annie Groves
Billy shook his head. ‘Only if you’re having one. It’s a bit warm for tea, I’ve just been on a bus full of factory workers and it was roasting in there,’ he said. ‘And no, I mean yes, I have come to see Stan as we’re on shift together later on, and I thought we could go together, but it’s you I’ve come to see.’ He realised he was all flustered.
Kathleen blushed a little. ‘Have you got any news, Billy? Have you found out anything?’
Billy clasped his hands together. ‘I saw them, Kath. I saw Elsie trying to talk to Bertie and then I saw her kid.’ He took a breath, and swiftly recounted what he had witnessed. ‘Kath, he’s nothing like Ray. Even from a quick look it’s obvious. He looks completely different. He’s got red hair.’
Kathleen gasped in relief and then frowned. ‘But that doesn’t mean he’s not Ray’s kid, does it? He could just look like his mother. Not all kids look like their dads.’
‘But proper red hair, Kath. It’s more unusual, ain’t it? Who do we know with red hair? Clarrie, her sister, and their dad. Well, when he had any hair. I’m sure I read it somewhere, you don’t often get red hair without it running in your family. It’s science.’
‘You could still be wrong, though. You said yourself you only saw him quickly.’ It was as if Kathleen couldn’t believe it was good news.
Billy wasn’t giving up. ‘Yes, but you couldn’t miss it. Bright red, it was. Not brown or blonde with a bit of red in it. I don’t suppose Elsie’s really a redhead and dyed it blonde?’ he suddenly wondered.
‘No, she’s really a brunette,’ Kathleen said decisively. ‘Did you see her eyebrows? They’re natural, not painted, and they’re dark.’
Billy shook his head. ‘I can’t say as I noticed. I wouldn’t know how to tell the difference.’
‘Well, I can.’ Kathleen was growing in confidence. ‘Perhaps you are right, Billy, but why would she say such a thing if it wasn’t true?’
‘Maybe she lied to Ray as well,’ Billy suggested. ‘Then she might have thought she’d got away with that, so why not go for the jackpot? He might have laid it on thick, said you were all alone in the world with nobody to advise you. Made out you were weaker than you are.’
‘But I have got somebody, haven’t I? You’ve come to my rescue again, Billy.’ Kathleen’s eyes shone. ‘I can’t thank you enough.’
Billy smiled but then looked away. He didn’t want to press home his advantage, or she might think he was taking liberties. ‘I know, I could go back to the shop where she left the pram and ask in there if they know more about her,’ he said. ‘Don’t know why I didn’t think of that before.’
Kathleen nodded. ‘Is it far?’
‘Sort of between Limehouse and Poplar. Not that far,’ he replied. ‘But where’s everyone else? I just realised, it’s quiet round here for once.’
‘Flo and Mattie have taken the children to the park,’ Kathleen explained. ‘Mattie was getting fed up with not doing anything, so Flo reckoned she’d be all right if they took it slowly. She put the stew on before she left and I’m minding it. They’ll be back soon.’
Billy looked at her steadily, sure that his feelings for her were clear for her to see. ‘Kath …’ he began, but then there was a noise at the door and Stan strode in, taking off his jacket as he did so.
‘Billy! You’re early.’ He sat down at the table. ‘Oh, it’s good to get the weight off me feet before we go out again this evening. Have you come round to get changed?’
Billy recovered himself. ‘Y-yes, that’s it,’ he said. ‘I’ll go out to the privy and do that now, and let Kathleen tell you what I discovered. All right, Kathleen?’
If she had been wondering what he was about to say, she didn’t show it. ‘Of course. So, the thing is, it might be good news …’
‘Don’t you miss the greenery?’ asked Mary as several of the nurses were refilling their Gladstone bags at the end of the day’s shift.
Bridget stopped what she was doing, wrinkled her freckled nose and looked at her new colleague. ‘What greenery would that be?’
Mary shrugged. ‘Well, everyone says Ireland is very green. London must seem very built up, very crowded. I know we’ve got the Downs and Victoria Park nearby, but I dare say it doesn’t compare. Lots of the parks are ruined with those trenches anyway.’
Bridget expertly rerolled a bandage as she laughed at the idea. ‘Mary, we trained and worked in Dublin. It’s a city too. We didn’t learn our nursing in a field.’
Mary looked confused. ‘No, not a field, obviously. But doesn’t everything seem different here?’
Bridget packed away her bandage. ‘Sure, it’s different, but it’s more that food is rationed and the blackout and all that. We do have buses and trams, believe it or not.’
‘Oh, I didn’t mean …’ Mary trailed off, glancing up as Alice walked in, imploring her friend for help with her expression. ‘Hello, Alice, you’ve been to Dublin, haven’t you? I was just saying, it must seem very crowded and grey over here.’
Alice nodded, setting down her own leather bag. ‘It was pretty busy there as well, to tell the truth. But I’ve only been to the city centre. I remember there being lots of people on the streets. It was quite like Liverpool in some ways – everyone talking quickly and passing the time of day – but I hadn’t been to London then so didn’t know what it was like here.’
Bridget decided not to tease Mary any longer. ‘The countryside is very green, it’s true, and that’s because it rains all the time. Isn’t that the case, Ellen? That’s why we came over here, to get out of the non-stop rain.’
‘Really?’ Mary’s eyes were wide. ‘Oh, I see, no, you don’t mean that.’
Ellen shook her head. ‘We came for several reasons,’ she said honestly. ‘There’s more work to be had, and at better pay. Also for a bit of adventure. You can’t get up to anything without your mammy knowing back home.’
Bridget nodded. ‘That’s right. And of course we wanted to stand up to Hitler and his Nazi forces. It didn’t seem right for that to be happening just across the water and for us to do nothing.’
Alice reached for some more bandages. ‘Even though it’s not strictly your fight? I think that’s very brave.’
Bridget sighed. ‘My father says it’s foolhardy. He thinks we’ve run mad. Mind you, he never wanted me to leave home in the first place. Besides, it’s everyone’s fight, isn’t it? This is for human decency, or at least that’s how I see it.’
Mary blinked soberly. ‘Yes, when you put it like that, I see what you mean.’
‘Anyway we’re very glad you’re here,’ Alice said warmly.
Ellen shrugged but smiled back. ‘Now you’re just saying that to have use of our little kitchen. Oh yes, I forgot to say. We’ve had a letter to say the ingredients are on their way, but will take longer as they’re in a parcel. So we should be able to make your friend’s “welcome home” cake we spoke about.’
Edith joined them, stuffing a piece of paper into her pocket as she came in to the district room. ‘Budge up, Al. Ta. That’s good news to come back to. We love a bit of cake, don’t we?’
‘Certainly do,’ said Mary, who was worried that their necessarily more restricted diet was causing her to lose her curves, of which she was very proud. ‘I must go, I’m going to be late. Fiona asked me to help out at one of the first-aid classes. Said I hadn’t taught at many and it would be good practice, so I had to say yes. See you later.’ She took her now-full bag and left, followed by Ellen and Bridget.
Alice glanced sideways at Edith, now they were left on their own. ‘What’s that you were putting away as you came in?’
Edith sighed. ‘More trouble from my family. You know I sent Mick away with a flea in his ear? Well, now Frankie is asking me directly for help.’
‘He’s the next eldest one, isn’t he?’ Alice had a job to remember all Edith’s siblings.
‘Yes, Mick’s twenty and Frankie’s sixteen. He wanted to join up, but mostly because he thought he could get awa
y from these thugs he owes money to. The army won’t take him; he looks even younger than he is.’ She took out the letter, on cheap yellowing paper, covered with an unruly scrawl. ‘I think he’s realised he’s on a hiding to nothing and so he’s trying to bring me into it. At least he’s writing to me direct and not via Mick. I wouldn’t trust that one as far as I could throw him.’
Alice could only nod. She knew Edith rarely mentioned her family simply because she could not bear to.
‘So, of course he wants money. I don’t know if I should give him any.’
‘How much? Is it a lot?’ Alice asked.
Edith made a face. ‘It’s enough. It would be a huge amount to a kid like Frankie. Well, I shan’t give him all of it. If Mick gets wind of it he’ll want a cut for asking me in the first place. That’s what he’s like. I could send Frankie a bit to tide him over. Enough to get the thugs off his back for a bit. He can work to pay the rest of it off. I don’t want him to get hurt though.’ For a moment her face creased with worry. ‘Why do I bother? They wouldn’t do this for me. They wouldn’t lift a finger if I was in trouble.’
Alice gave her friend a straight look. ‘You never tell them if you’re in trouble. They don’t have the chance to help.’
Edith turned her gaze to the floor. ‘I’m not giving them the satisfaction. I don’t need them. I’ve got you, I’ve got the Banhams. I’ve made my own life. God knows it was hard enough getting here. They aren’t going to drag me back there. All the same …’ She kicked her feet. ‘I don’t want him to get in any deeper. He’s daft enough not to realise the hold these sorts of people have over you. I’ll send him some money. Not all of it, but a little. I can’t have him saying I abandoned him completely.’
Kathleen held her breath as she opened her own front door for the first time since leaving in such a hurry, half wondering if the vile Elsie would appear, but there was nothing but the silence and slightly stale air of a place that had not been lived in for a while. She let out a sigh of relief as she set down her bags. She would make the place ready and then go back for Brian.
Despite Flo’s protests, she had decided to move back into the little ground-floor flat, as Joe would be home any day now. She didn’t want to outstay her welcome. Besides, if she’d been Joe, away on his ship for months, and up in the north of Scotland if Alice was to be believed, she would value her home comforts.
Although she was full of trepidation, Billy’s latest information had helped to put her mind at ease. He had gone back to the shop and got talking to the owner, who had got to know Elsie a little. She was apparently living in a one-room flat above a bookmaker’s near Poplar, with a dark-haired man who hardly ever came out. He never came into the shop but the owner had occasionally seen him waiting outside while Elsie popped in to buy essentials. He remarked that when she’d first arrived she had been lively and excited, almost as if she was full of anticipation, but lately had been more deflated, her early confidence gone. Billy had taken this to mean she’d started off thinking she could con the share of the pension out of Kathleen, but had then realised it would not be possible.
Kathleen had let him talk her into believing this was the explanation. She hung on to his conviction, wanting it to be true, even if a secret dread still lurked. She told herself not to be so fearful. The woman had done her best to extract the money, but had backed off when she’d stood up to her. That would be the end of it.
She wished she could be certain that the baby wasn’t Ray’s. Somehow that felt like a deeper betrayal than his unfaithfulness; not only had he got himself another woman, but he’d given her a child too. It made Brian less special, and anything that hurt Brian cut Kathleen to her very core. It was defending Brian that had provoked Ray’s worst attack, when he’d left her broken on the living-room floor, without a care if she was alive or dead. He hadn’t deserved to be Brian’s father. He hadn’t deserved to be anybody’s father, full stop. He had been feckless, unreliable, untrustworthy and completely selfish. She knew that this was the polar opposite of Billy.
Even though she had tried to shut Billy out after the news of Ray’s death, he had persisted and not let her down after all. She had been silly to believe he was seeing another woman. Everything he had done proved to her that his feelings were unchanged. Perhaps it was time for her to let down her guard a little. She knew now how terrible it was to imagine he might care for somebody else. She couldn’t have blamed him; he was only human. ‘Kathleen, my girl,’ she murmured to herself as she began to unpack her bags, ‘you need to decide what you want to do. You can’t ask him to wait for ever. And you’d be lost without him.’
She went to her kitchen cupboard and hunted for something to drink. She fancied a treat. That was strange; she could have sworn she had some Ovaltine left in a tin. There didn’t seem to be any there now. She shook her head. ‘Losing your marbles, you are,’ she admonished herself. ‘It’s all that moving from one place to another. Making you forgetful.’ Reaching for her packet of tea leaves, she decided that she had better get on with the job of making this a fit home for Brian to return to, and not to get any more fanciful ideas.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Alice studied herself in the mirror that hung on the back wall of her small attic room. She was not in the habit of spending much time looking in it. Usually it was simply a case of making sure her hair was tucked properly under her cap and that she was neat enough for her working day. Tonight, though, she had wanted to look her best.
She had brushed her hair out so that it lay lush and golden over her shoulders rather than curled up in a bun. Somewhat self-consciously she straightened her collar. By good fortune, her mother had sent her a new blouse as a surprise gift and it had arrived that very morning. Alice gave a wistful smile. Her mother had loved to go shopping with her when she’d lived at home and would have gone into the centre of Liverpool specially, making her way down the familiar street to John Lewis. She had chosen well, though; she knew her daughter’s taste, and also that her daughter would be unlikely to find the time or have the inclination to search out such a thing for herself. It was a delicate cream muslin with matching lace around the neck and sleeves, and tiny mother-of-pearl buttons down the front. Alice had to admit that it was a lovely choice.
‘Oooh, what have you got there?’
Alice’s quiet moment was shattered as Edith came in and stared admiringly at the blouse.
‘My mother sent it.’ She tugged at the lapels one last time and turned to smile at her friend.
‘Well, it’s bloomin’ gorgeous,’ Edith declared, sitting herself down on the bed. ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were dressing up for a special occasion.’
Alice pulled a face. ‘But you do know better. Don’t you start. There’s nothing more than friendship between Joe and me, and well you know it.’
Edith relented. ‘Don’t take on. I know, I know. But it’s gorgeous all the same. I shall feel shabby in comparison.’
‘Nonsense. That dress is really smart.’ Alice recognised the navy frock in artificial silk from two summers ago, but Edith had refreshed it by sewing big white buttons in a double row down the front and adding a shiny white belt. Alice pointed at it. ‘Is that new?’
Edith grinned. ‘No, Bridget lent it to me. I had to add an extra hole to it, but she didn’t mind. In fact I got Stan to do it with the bradawl from his toolkit when we took the cake over earlier. Thought I’d better not go using anything from my medical bag to puncture the leather; Gwen might hear about it, then there’d be hell to pay.’
Alice sat carefully down beside her friend, smoothing her skirt as she did so. That was the trouble with light cotton – it creased so easily. ‘So did they like the cake? What did Flo say?’ She paused. ‘Was Joe there?’
Edith shook her head, registering that Joe’s presence was far more important to Alice than the reaction to the cake. ‘His train was due in a bit later. Not to worry,’ she added hastily, ‘Flo was sure he’d be back in time to be at the pub
tonight. But yes, they all loved the cake, well, of course they did. What a stroke of luck the new nurses are such dab hands in the kitchen. Bridget did the actual baking and then Ellen did the decorating. She’s very clever, she wrote “Welcome Home” in icing and then dotted on those pieces of lemon peel. It was as good as anything you’d find in a shop. Flo was impressed.’
Alice raised her eyebrows. ‘Must have been good, then. I think it’s terribly kind of them to help – they don’t even know the Banhams. They’re really friendly, aren’t they? I’m so glad they joined our home.’
‘Yes, when you think of some of the misery guts we trained with, we’ve been lucky.’ She stood up. ‘Can I borrow your navy handbag, Al? That’s if you weren’t planning on using it?’
Alice got up and went to her wardrobe. She had intended to use the bag herself, but recognised Edith had dressed up extra carefully for the first time since Harry’s death. That was far more important, and she could equally well take the classic leather shoulder bag her parents had given her when she’d first qualified back in Liverpool. If she gave the clasp a quick polish, it would be good as new. She lifted out both bags and passed the navy one to her friend.
‘Thanks, Al, you’re a life-saver.’ Edith grinned broadly as she realised the literal truth of what she’d just said. ‘And you were going to use it, weren’t you? I can tell. But to tell you the truth, that other bag goes better with your new blouse. Trust me.’
‘If you say so.’ Alice knew that Edith had a better eye for these things than she did. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter. A bag is a bag. It’s just somewhere to put your money and your keys when all’s said and done.’
Edith gave her a look of mock horror and pretended to block her ears. ‘Don’t even say such a thing. A bag is just a bag! Have I taught you nothing these past couple of years? Honestly, Alice Lake, you might know who wrote what and who’s in the war cabinet but, when it comes to the really important things in life, you have no idea, none at all.’