by Rose Pearson
Lady Norwich shook her head, her face now a little white.
“I will not accept any such statement from you, Lord Hosmer,” she answered, firmly. “There was once an intimacy between us. An intimacy that I believe can be established again!”
Benedict stared at the lady in shock, his heart thumping furiously. Whatever could she mean? There was not even a single thought of such a thing in his mind and yet it seemed that Lady Norwich had been hoping for precisely that!
“That is why I have returned to London!” Lady Norwich exclaimed, as Benedict began to shake his head. “I have been eagerly hoping that you would look upon me again with favor. I know that I made an unwise choice in setting aside what had been agreed between us and, instead, making my way to another, but I have had time to reflect on such a decision and can only feel regret as to my foolishness. My late husband did not care for me, not in the way that I knew you once did, proven entirely by his lack of consideration for me in his will.” She drew in a shaky breath. “If only you could –”
“I have no interest in considering any sort of acquaintance, Lady Norwich,” Benedict interrupted, speaking as loudly as he dared. “Why you should think so, I cannot imagine!”
“Because I know that you still must care for me,” Lady Norwich said, beseechingly. “I have heard that you have returned to London every Christmas and have been melancholy and utterly distraught!”
Benedict grimaced but took a small step back from her.
“That may be so, but that has been my foolishness,” he declared, as Lady Norwich’s eyes began to glisten with tears. “To my immense relief, I have discovered a new happiness which has pulled me from such things.” Glancing to his right and to his left, he finally caught sight of Lady Charity, seeing how she looked back at him, a glimmer of uncertainty in her expression. “I danced with Lady Charity because I have a desire to be in her company, Lady Norwich.” Turning his gaze back towards the lady in question, he fixed his gaze to hers, praying that she would listen to everything he said and realize that he was quite serious with all that he was about to say. “I have no desire to be in your company for any great length of time. The intimacy which was between us was shattered the moment that you chose to step away from me and I have no interest in securing it again. I have found a new happiness, a new joy and a new contentment that I believe I would never have truly discovered should we have wed. I had believed that you cared for me, but I soon realized just how mistaken I was. But I shall not have such doubts or fears with Lady Charity. I trust her implicitly and the care that she has shown me proves what is in her heart. Remove such thoughts from your mind, Lady Norwich. Throw any hope from your heart. It shall never be fulfilled.”
Benedict stepped away from her, his head inclining for just a moment before he began to walk towards Lady Charity. His heart was quiet and calm, for he had spoken with honesty and distinction, not having any urge to injure Lady Norwich with what he had said but rather, instead, to speak in such a way that there could not be any doubt. The look in her eyes had been one of pain and of sorrow but Benedict had not allowed her emotions to affect him. It seemed that the late Lord Norwich had not cared for her in the way that Lady Norwich had expected and him leaving her with very little in his will, Benedict knew, must be very difficult for the lady indeed. Regardless, Benedict remained utterly steadfast. She needed to understand that there could be nothing between them. It was not his duty nor his responsibility to care for her now.
“Lady Charity.” Reaching out one hand as though he needed to feel her touch, Benedict smiled at her with both relief and gladness as she accepted it. “Might we step out for the supper dance? I have been –”
“You have promised the dance to me!”
Benedict frowned hard and turned his head. Lady Norwich was approaching him, her face set and, much to his dismay, her mother alongside her.
“I have done no such thing, Lady Norwich,” Benedict replied, firmly. “Pray, do not –”
“Your name is written on my dance card.”
Benedict sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, before looking to Lady Charity with a small, wry smile.
“Shall we, Lady Charity?” he asked again, ignoring Lady Norwich entirely. “The supper dance is, as you know, the one I have been greatly anticipating.”
“I do not think so, Lord Hosmer!” Lady Dewsbury exclaimed, loudly. “You have promised this dance to my daughter. Your name is written here, on her dance card!”
Lady Charity’s hand pulled from his.
“You have only just finished speaking to me of your eagerness to set things right between us, Lord Hosmer,” Lady Norwich said, plaintively. “I am sure that you saw him conversing with me at length, Lady Charity, did you not? Do you wish to know what he spoke of?”
Benedict turned a hard gaze to Lady Norwich.
“Do not attempt to tell untruths, Lady Norwich,” he said, becoming a little angry now. “I –”
“You stated, quite plainly, that you wished to make things right between us,” she interrupted, as Lady Charity began to frown. “Of course, you said just how glad you were for Lady Charity’s contribution to your recovered happiness but that, knowing there was now opportunity for a re-establishing of our acquaintance, you could not help but feel all the more contented. I quite understand if you have not spoken to Lady Charity of this as yet, but the dance is to be mine.”
This was evidently confirmed by the waving of her dance card in front of his face where, Benedict noted, his name was written.
“I did not write my name there,” he said, his heart beginning to pound as he looked from Lady Norwich to Lady Charity and saw her frown. “That is…” He did not want to say outright that Lady Norwich had done so deliberately but prayed that Lady Charity would realize that. Unfortunately for him, it also appeared as though Lady Norwich’s outburst had caught the attention of one or two others, for a small group had begun to form around them, making him all the more reluctant to speak poorly of Lady Norwich’s behavior. At the same time, however, he did not want to abandon Lady Charity and was quite determined to step out with her. “Lady Charity, shall we - ?”
“Lord Hosmer!” Lady Dewsbury’s tone was sharp, catching even more attention from the other guests. “You cannot deny my daughter what you have promised! I am sure that Lady Charity will understand! What was once between you has, understandably, begun to form again and other friendships and acquaintances that have been formed –” she sent a sharp look towards Lady Charity, “must now be pushed to the side.”
Benedict shook his head, feeling anger begin to burn within his heart. He was not about to allow Lady Dewsbury and Lady Norwich to manipulate him in such a manner, to try and set himself and Lady Charity asunder when he had only just discovered happiness again! He could not understand Lady Norwich’s reasons for doing so, could not make sense of why she had chosen to do such a thing and yet, standing in the middle of a crowd of guests – all of whom were now looking at him – Benedict found himself quite uncertain as to what was best to say.
“If you will excuse us.”
Lady Hayward’s voice reached Benedict’s ears and he turned to see her taking Lady Charity’s arm and bodily beginning to move them both away from this scene.
“Please, Lady Hayward, I –”
“Do excuse us.”
Her words were firm, her eyes hard and the way she looked at Benedict made him wither inside. Lady Charity had not turned her head back towards him, had not so much as glanced at him and the urge within him to go to her, to reach out to her and pull her to him was practically overwhelming. But before he could say a word, Lady Charity was gone, disappearing into the ether of crowd.
“And the supper dance has just been announced,” Lady Norwich declared, with a sense of great satisfaction in her voice. “Shall we, Lord Hosmer?”
Fury filled him.
“No, Lady Norwich,” he said, vehemently. “We are not to dance this evening. I have not written my name on your dance c
ard. I have not made any suggestion that we reacquaint ourselves and I have certainly not ever even thought of an intimacy between us. Whatever you have begun to believe, I can assure you, you are quite mistaken!” His voice was rising now but Benedict could not help but speak with determination and passion, wanting to make it quite clear with both Lady Norwich and those now listening that there was to be no restarting of any acquaintance between them. “Excuse me.”
He heard Lady Norwich begin to protest but Benedict could not allow himself to listen. Walking swiftly, but doing all he could to keep his composure and his expression steady, Benedict made his way through the ballroom and towards the door. This night, the evening he had been looking forward to, had suddenly become one of the most disastrous nights of his life - and all he could think of was Lady Charity. Where was she? And just what would she now be thinking of him?
Chapter Thirteen
“How are you, my dear?”
Charity gave Lady Hayward a wan smile. Last evening had not gone as she had expected and the embarrassment of what had occurred lingered with her still.
“I am…”
She trailed off, not quite certain how to answer the lady. What was it she felt at present? Yes, she had been caught by embarrassment last evening, to the point that Lady Hayward had thought it best they step away from the scene, but that had not been what had kept her from sleep. There was, unfortunately, a small niggle of doubt in her heart which would not leave her, no matter what she attempted.
“Sit down and let me fetch you some tea,” Lady Hayward said, as Charity realized she had done nothing other than stand after entering the room, rather than sit down anywhere. “Come over by the fire.”
Charity did as she was asked, seating herself by the fire and allowing the warmth to spread over her.
“I can imagine that you must be a little troubled after last evening,” Lady Hayward said, handing Charity a teacup and saucer. “For Lady Norwich to behave like that was utterly disgraceful!”
Charity bit her lip and looked away, her eyes drawn to the flames which burned merrily in the grate. She watched the yellow and the orange meld together, occasionally seeing a flash of blue where the heat was at its height – and allowed herself to speak the words that had been lingering in her mind.
“I did see him speak to Lady Norwich at length, before he approached me.”
Her voice was quiet, her words holding no strength, but when she glanced at Lady Hayward, Charity saw there was a deep frown beginning to form on the lady’s face.
“That may be so, Lady Charity, but surely you cannot imagine that there was even a modicum of truth in what Lady Norwich said?” Lady Hayward asked, leaning forward to pick up her own teacup. “The lady is clearly quite determined to regain Lord Hosmer’s acquaintance, for whatever reason, but I do not think that there is any such desire on his part.”
“I want to believe that it is so,” Charity replied, finding it difficult to explain all that she felt, “but there is a part of me which realizes the truth of the matter.”
“Which is?” Lady Hayward prompted, one eyebrow arched.
“Which is that there was a strong bond between Lord Hosmer and Lady Norwich,” Charity answered, a tightness squeezing her heart painfully. “He has been lost these last few years because of her absence, because of her choice. The pain he felt has lingered and he had chosen to remain there, clearly distraught over what occurred. When the chance is offered to him to return to her side, might there not be some possibility that he would do so, given how strongly he felt for her?”
Lady Hayward paused for a moment, her head tilting just a little as she looked at Charity.
“Do you truly believe that, Charity?” she asked, as Charity dropped her head, feeling all the more embarrassed. “Is there a part of you which thinks such a thing might be true?”
“There is,” Charity admitted, speaking so quietly that she knew Lady Hayward would struggle to hear her. “I confess that what Lady Dewsbury said, in particular, has not yet left my thoughts.”
“I see.” Lady Hayward let out a long breath, then shook her head. “Lady Charity,” she continued, after a few moments. “Allow me to remind you of the scene that I walked into only a few days ago. Lord Hosmer had taken your hand, I believe. I do not know precisely what had passed between you, but it was something of significance, was it not?” Charity blushed and nodded, instantly recalling the moment that Lord Hosmer had lifted her hand to his lips, as a fleeting warmth began to spread through her heart, only to fade again in a few moments. “Do you truly believe that a gentleman who is clearly so very eager to continue to further his acquaintance with you will, in fact, then return to a lady who has done him naught but harm?” Lady Hayward asked, quietly. “He has been so very grateful to you for pulling him from his sadness and his sorrow. He has told you so on multiple occasions and there has been such a change in his demeanor which speaks of only the truth of such a change. There is a good deal more to your acquaintance than I believe there ever was with Lady Norwich. Do not turn away from him now, Lady Charity. Allow what has occurred between you to remind you of the truth of his heart – and look into your own to discover it there also. Hold onto what can be yours and reject the doubts and fears that fling themselves at you, for those worries and anxieties are precisely what Lady Dewsbury and her manipulative daughter want you to consider.” Her expression darkened and she looked away for a moment, clearly struggling to keep her manner calm and supportive – or perhaps fighting against the urge to speak all the more strongly about Lady Norwich herself. “Perhaps we ought to call upon Lord Hosmer, Lady Charity. Or mayhap you might write to him. Either way, do not allow silence to linger between you. Silence will bring nothing more but doubts and fears, instead of resolution and understanding. If you are hopeful that this matter might be resolved, then find a way to approach him, so that you might hear the truth from his lips and allow yourself, finally, to trust him.”
Charity let out a long, slow breath and nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat and praying that she would not let tears fall. Turning her head to look back into the flames, she settled her shoulders and told herself that Lady Hayward was quite correct – that if she could trust what had passed between herself and Lord Hosmer in the past, then she would lose her doubts and her fears. Lord Hosmer had told her, many times, that he was more than grateful to her, had been glad to leave his sorrow and his pain behind. Was she about to dismiss all that, simply because Lady Norwich and Lady Dewsbury told her so? A small, creeping confidence began to steal over her heart as she considered this, realizing that all Lady Hayward had said was quite correct.
“I will,” she said aloud, looking back at Lady Hayward. “You are right, Lady Hayward. I have let all that Lady Dewsbury said and all that I know occurred between Lord Hosmer and Lady Norwich in the past, flood my thoughts and push fears and doubts into my heart. I have forgotten what he has said and what has been shared between us. But I shall do so no longer.” Her lips pulled into a small smile and the tears which had threatened began to fade away as a renewed confidence filled her heart. “Thank you, Lady Hayward.”
“But of course,” Lady Hayward replied, now looking rather relieved. “So, shall you write to him?”
“I shall –”
Charity’s answer was cut off by a quiet knock on the drawing room door. Calling for the servant to enter, Charity was all the more astonished when the butler informed them both that there were visitors waiting to be permitted to see them.
“And who has called?” Lady Hayward asked, sending a quick look towards Charity, who found herself hoping that it was none other than Lord Hosmer come to speak to her. “It is still very cold and, from what I can see, snowing outside! They must have been very eager indeed to call upon us!”
Her eyes twinkled as she smiled at Charity, only for that smile to fix in place as the butler spoke the visitors’ names.
“I see.”
Charity’s heart slammed hard against her chest,
her stomach tightening and a deep frown beginning to form across her brow.
“Well,” Lady Hayward continued, as she considered, “it would be rude indeed to refuse to see them.” Her gaze turned back to Charity’s for a moment, looking at her steadily. “But what do you think, Lady Charity? I will refuse to allow them to call, if you would prefer it.”
Taking in a steadying breath, Charity lifted her chin and looked back at the butler.
“Of course, they must be permitted to call,” she said, speaking with more confidence than she truly felt. “And a fresh tea tray will need to be brought, if you please.”
The butler nodded and excused himself and Charity could only look helplessly after him, feeling all manner of nervousness flood her.
“Why should they wish to call, after what happened last evening?” Lady Hayward asked, her voice holding a faint trace of anger. “Do not listen to a word that they say, Lady Charity, I beg you. No doubt, Lady Dewsbury will do much the same as last evening and Lady Norwich will attempt to convince you that there is a connection between herself and Lord Hosmer which can never be broken.” Her eyes held Charity’s firmly. “Do not allow them to convince you of it.”
“I – I will not,” Charity answered, forcing herself to find the same strength of resolve that had been present within her spirits only a short time before. “Lord Hosmer is not here to either argue or defend himself, which means that I must do it on his behalf.” Her fingers twisted together as she set her shoulders. “They will not convince me, Lady Hayward. Not after what you have said. I can assure you of that.”
Lady Hayward looked all the more pleased, although there was a flicker of anger in her eyes that only grew rather than faded.
“I am very glad to hear you speak so, Lady Charity,” she said, as the quiet knock to the door came again, announcing the arrival of their afternoon callers. “Now, let us be pleasant but firm. Steadfast and determined.”
Charity nodded and rose to her feet.