Coming up with an idea, I smile to myself.
Evert narrows his eyes at me. “What’s that for?”
“I’m just smiling. I like to smile,” I defend.
“You’re planning something.”
The other guys groan. Even Okot.
I get a lot of that. Granted, some of my ideas are not the best. Like the time I planned to surprise Sylred by carving him a new instrument. I nearly lost a finger. Not mine—Evert’s. He still has a scar.
Oh, well. This time, my idea is brilliant, and there’s almost zero chance of me cutting off anyone’s body parts. At least, I hope.
Chapter 15
“Again!”
I get a chorus of groans in response.
I frown at the cupid trainees lined up. The girl with the cell phone is sitting down in the grass, muttering about how she wants to update her status. Then insists that shooting arrows is not ladylike. The goth dudes are hanging out together smoking a pipe that I’m pretty sure they swiped from my house, and the nerdy guy with the lisp and buckteeth keeps picking his nose and eating it when he thinks no one is watching.
“Come on cupids, try again!”
I’m surprised when they suddenly jolt to do my bidding. Huh. Maybe they’re finally taking this more seriously?
Then I sense the presence behind me and see that my giant bull mate is here. Of course they listen when he’s around. Red mohawk, nose piercing, intense eyes, and freaking huge. The guy is a bit intimidating.
“My beloved, you missed lunch,” he says as I turn to face him.
“I know. I’ve just been so busy. I really need them to do well tonight.”
Okot and I watch as the cupids aim and fire their Love Arrows at the targets that Ronak installed. None of them hit their targets. Not one. The ballgown-wearing chick doesn’t even get hers to fly. It just falls at her feet, and she complains about blisters. The troll cupid keeps breaking his bow on account of his hands being so big. And thanks to the loincloth he’s wearing, it’s pretty obvious that that is pretty big, too. Every time he walks, his scrotum totem peeks out. But it’s not a nice sight. It has warts on it. Also, it’s furry. Note to self: Get this guy some freaking pants.
I face palm. “You guys really suck at this,” I call out.
“You’re a right motivational speaker, you are,” Sev jokes beside me.
“It’s not funny, Sev,” I say, lowering my voice. “None of them can shoot a damn arrow!”
He shrugs, unconcerned. “These are the flunkies. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know.”
Sev claps me on the back. “Don’t worry, boss. At least they’re fooking tryin’ now. They weren’t even doing that for their first training. I think they’ll be an alrigh’ bunch.” He turns and points in my face. “But don’t fooking tell ‘em I said that.”
I snort. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I watch as Amorette toddles behind the cupids, looking like a general overseeing her troops. She’s now traded in her wooden sword for a Love Arrow.
When one of the cupids misses his target again, Amorette shakes her head at him in dramatic disappointment. “You’re real bad at this, mister.”
The goth dude looks down at her with a scowl. “Whatever, kid. Why don’t you go bug someone else?”
Amorette looks him right in the eye…and then stabs him in the calf with her Love Arrow.
Crying out in pain, he grabs his calf and hops around on his other leg. The arrow is protruding out of him, and I can already see a bloodstain leaking through his dark pants.
I wince and rush forward. “Crap. Amorette! That was very naughty!”
Amorette just blinks innocently.
Sev laughs. “Nice aim, kid.”
“Oh my gosh is that blood?” the ballgown chick shrieks. “I can’t stand the sight of blood!” Then she faints.
The nerdy cupid catches her. Well, sort of. He lunges forward, his skinny arms swinging up, but he loses his footing so he mostly just breaks her fall.
The cell phone girl rolls her eyes and sighs. “Everyone is stupid.”
Sev and I seem like experts compared to this lot.
The goth cupid, still hopping around in pain, falls on the ground with a grimace, staring at the Love Arrow with panic. “Someone take it out!”
“Don’t worry,” I tell him. I look over to Okot, only to realize he’s already left and is walking back over with Evert in tow.
I kneel down to my deceivingly cute and innocent-looking daughter. “Amorette, we don’t stab people with arrows. It’s not nice.”
She looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes. “He started it. Daddy Ro said if someone starts it, I can finish it.”
“Of course he did,” I mumble. “But you need to apologize okay?”
She pouts. “Fine.” She looks over at the cupid. “Sorry for stabbin’ you.”
He snorts. “Sure you are.”
She continues to stare at him, her eyes narrowing.
He automatically leans away from her. “You’re a violent little thing, aren’t you?”
Her eyes flash genfin gold.
“Okay!” I say, quickly scooping her up. “Someone needs her nap.”
Amorette pouts, but at least her eyes go back to normal. Well, normal might not be the right word, since her eye color changes all the time. It’s one of the reasons why it’s so hard to tell which of my guys is her biological father. Her eyes look more like my lady luck prism of colors, constantly shifting shades. But her tantrums? Yeah, those are full genfin. She goes animal, growls at everyone, and then usually scratches her claws against the furniture.
I watch as Evert comes sauntering over. And when I say saunter, I mean it. The guy has some serious swagger going on. He’s dressed in a loose black tunic with the ties undone at the top so that I can see some chest muscles, and when he walks, it’s like he leads with his dick. It sounds weird, but it’s totally hot. I get distracted watching him dick-walk toward me. I can’t help it.
“Eyes up here, Scratch,” he says, and I wrench my gaze from his crotch to his smirking face. “Cupid problems?”
I nod. “Our daughter stabbed him with a Love Arrow,” I explain.
At first, Evert looks like he wants to laugh, but then a fierce frown comes over his face. Before I can react, he has a chokehold on the injured cupid, whose face goes from super pale to a mottled shade of purple.
“Evert! Stop!” I put Amorette down, trying to get him to stop.
“This fucker better not even think about falling in love with our daughter, or I’ll pop his fucking head off right now.”
“Oh my gods, can you knock it off? He isn’t going to fall in love with her. It doesn’t work that way,” I tell him.
Evert loosens his hold, but only slightly, at least enough for the cupid to take a big, sputtered breath. “Explain.”
“She doesn’t have cupid powers. And since she’s the first ever born cupid, I don’t know that she ever will. So until she does, she can’t activate a Love Arrow,” I tell him. “Just like you can’t take one and shoot people up with love. It would just be a normal arrow for you, and until she starts developing cupid powers, the same goes for her, too.”
Evert considers this for a moment and then lets go. Goth cupid coughs and falls over to his side, taking in haggard breaths. “Now I see where the kid gets her violent tendencies.”
Instead of being embarrassed, Evert looks proud.
Evert kneels down in front of Amorette, but instead of lecturing her about the importance of not stabbing people, he smiles at her. “That was bloody brilliant. You nearly sunk it all the way to the bone. Your training lessons are working,” he tells her.
Amorette beams.
“Evert,” I hiss.
He looks up at me, oblivious. “What? You want me to shoot him in the other leg?”
“Yeah!” Amorette exclaims.
“No,” I say sternly. “I want you to heal him.”
Evert curls his lip
. “Why?”
I give him the look. You know, the one that says I won’t be petting his zoo anytime soon if he doesn’t do what I ask.
He sighs. “Fine.” He leans over the guy and without giving any warning, yanks the arrow out of his leg. Gothy cries out and curses. All the other cupids look down at him with a mixture of pity and amusement.
“You could’ve warned me!” he snaps at Evert.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Evert retorts. “Roll up your pants.”
The cupid’s face turns ashen and he covers his crotch, like Evert just threatened to castrate him. “W-Why?” he sputters. “She already explained the Love Arrow didn’t make me fall in love with your daughter! I swear, I won’t!”
“You’re fucking right about that, asshole,” Evert says. “But if you want me to heal you, roll up your damn pant leg so that I can see the wound. I’m not fucking touching you more than I have to.”
The cupid looks to me, and I nod reassuringly.
Defeated, he grabs his pant leg and shoves it up, where we can see the gaping, bloody wound.
“Eww,” cellphone cupid says. “That’s so gross.”
Evert slaps his hand down on the guy’s calf, way harder than necessary, making him hiss in pain. His pained expression changes to relief when Evert’s powers stitch his skin back together.
“There,” Evert says, pushing off and standing back up.
Okot is ready with a water bucket for Evert to wash his hands with, and when he’s done getting off all the blood, he scoops up Amorette and places her on his shoulders. “Let’s go tell Daddy Ro all about this, and then see if Daddy Syl will carve you your own bow and arrow set, yeah?”
Amorette claps excitedly. “Yeah!”
“This is why she stabs people!” I call at his retreating back.
He just chuckles.
Like I said, we won’t be winning any parenting awards any time soon.
Chapter 16
The three coveys that are being bonded tonight are from very prominent families of high social standing. Two of the coveys have five males, and the third covey has four. The only problem? I’m picking up barely any affection from any of them. We have our work cut out for us.
Everything in the pavilion is decorated lavishly. Fairy lights and lanterns are lighting everything up, and white flowers are on every surface. At the center, is a beautifully carved wooden archway set on a raised dais, with chairs for the audience circling around it.
It seems like the entire genfin population has shown up for these ceremonies. There have to be at least seven hundred people in attendance. I’m standing in the back with my cupid trainees and Sev, trying to give them some last-minute pep talks.
“As soon as I give you the signal, I’ll push you into the Veil, and you can get to work. Remember, Flirt Touches first. We wanna get them nice and saturated.”
Sev pulls a face as he puffs on a pipe with the motorcycle-club looking cupid. “Don’t say saturated, boss. It’s sounds fooking weird.”
“You sound weird,” I snap. Then I instantly feel bad. “Sorry, Sev. You don’t sound weird. Actually, I think your accent is hot.”
Sev practically throws the pipe at motorcycle cupid before sidling up beside me. Tossing an arm over my shoulders, he pulls me close. “You finally ready to bring me into the fold, then, boss? I’ll be a right fooking treat to ya.”
Of course, that’s when my mates come up. Ronak doesn’t say anything. He just calmly walks forward, takes hold of Sev’s arm that’s still draped around me, and lifts it up…while squeezing him so hard I can hear his bones groan in protest.
Sev flinches and yowls in pain. “Fooking bloody boaby! That hurts!”
Ronak releases him, and Sev steps back to a safe distance away from me. “Bloody fooking hell, boss. He’s a right scunner, ain’t he?” he asks, rubbing his injured arm.
“Don’t touch my mate,” Ronak says simply.
Sev smiles. “Aye, I see why you like these males, boss. Must make you right hot when they go all alpha on ya, am I right? I’d love to get in on the action,” he says, wagging his eyebrows.
“I’m gonna fucking maim you one of these days,” Evert tells him.
Sev’s grin widens. He turns to me and threads his fingers together beseechingly. “Oh, come on, boss. Lemme join your harem, aye? I’m gantin’ for it. This hate talk is the bloody best foreplay I’ve had in weeks. Your mates are practically beggin’ for some Sev.”
Okot frowns at him. Sylred shakes his head. Ronak and Evert look like they’re silently communicating with each other about who’s gonna murder him and how they can hide it from me. Sev is just too much of a shit-stirrer for his own good. He absolutely lives for irritating my mates. He must have some kind of death wish.
“Sev?” I say.
“Yeah, boss?”
“Shut up.”
“Right-o, boss.”
“Okay, listen up,” I tell the cupids, making them gather around. “It’s almost show time. You guys know what to do. We just have to jumpstart the genfins and make them go into heat; that way they can form a bond. And, if we shoot them up with some well-timed Love Arrows, we might even get them to like each other by the end of the night.”
A few of the cupids snicker.
“If you do this, then you’ll officially pass training, and you’ll be ready to start Love Matches for Valentine’s Day on earth. And if you don’t screw that up, I’ll reward you with an extra vacation day. Deal?”
“Can we have sex during vacation?”
“Have at it.”
The cupid trainees all nod approvingly. See? Even the flunkies can do well once they have the proper motivation. I guess the possibility of orgasms is the right incentive. I’ll have to add that to the new cupid trainee handbook.
Elder Mortel comes up, looking a bit frazzled. “Everyone is here,” he tells us, breaching the group. “Are your employees ready?”
“Yep,” I say confidently.
Elder Mortel looks away from me to size up my cupids…and immediately frowns. His eyes go over the goths, the nerdy guy who sounds like he needs an inhaler, the ballgown child fighting with the cellphone holder, and his eyes widen in horror when he takes in the troll.
“…These are your cupids?”
I nod and try to get his eyes back on me. He doesn’t look away until the troll starts picking his nose with a Love Arrow. I motion to Sev, and he immediately kicks the troll in the shin. “Fooking knock it off, get it?”
The troll puts his booger-laden arrow back in his quiver. I gag a little.
“Erm…right…” the elder looks more and more doubtful. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea…”
“No,” I rush to explain. “They can totally do this. I promise.” I think. Maybe.
He regards me dubiously. “If you’re sure…”
Nope. Not at all. “Yep. I’m positive,” I smile.
Elder Mortel sighs. “Alright. The ceremony is starting, so whenever you’re ready.”
I nod, and he walks away, leaving us alone again. I notice all the hundreds of genfins that have come to watch are now finding their seats, dusk is quickly turning to a beautiful starry night, and the coveys to be mated are taking their places on the dais.
“Alright. Show time,” I tell my cupids. “This is your only chance to impress me and pass training. Please don’t screw this up. You all know who your marks are, and you’ve already paired up. Work together. Remember, being a cupid takes finesse. You can’t just go slapping people with Flirt Touches and tossing out Love. Timing is everything. Let them warm up to each other first with plenty of desire, but don’t make it so they’re getting hardies on stage for all of their families to see. Hone in on your inner cupid. You got this.”
“In other words, don’t fook this up, ya miserable shites,” Sev puts in. He’s helpful like that.
I hear Elder Mortel begin speaking on the dais, announcing the covey names and declaring the mate matches.
“Sev? You’ll
watch them in the Veil while they work?”
“Aye.”
“Alright then. Good luck.”
A huge, glowing rainbow appears above us, ending in a pot of gold at my feet.
You’d think I’d learn by now. Hell, heaven, luck—those words should be stricken from my vocabulary, but things just slip out.
My guys stare down at it, while all seven hundred genfins in attendance look over at me and the nighttime rainbow that should definitely not be here.
“It’s fine!” I call out. “Please continue!”
Elder Mortel pulls his eyes away from the scene and clears his throat distractedly. “Right. As I was saying…”
“Alright, go on.”
Using my cupid boss powers, I push the cupids into the Veil and hope for the best.
“What are the chances that they’re going to totally screw this up, and it’ll end in disaster?” I ask, watching the dais anxiously.
“I’d say a good fifty-fifty chance,” Evert drawls, while digging through the pot of gold. “Here,” he says, flipping me a golden coin. “For luck.”
I try to catch it, but the damn thing bounces off my boobs and then falls down the top of my dress. Evert smirks.
“Did you do that on purpose?” I ask, trying to dig a hand down my bodice so I can retrieve it.
“Does that sound like something I’d do?” he counters.
“Pretty much, yeah.”
He smirks. “Need help getting it out?” he asks with a cock of his brow.
I keep digging in there, but let’s face it, there’s a lot going on in the boobage department. Also, I’m pretty sure my nipples just started leaking milk. I sigh and give up. “I’ll find it later.”
It’s not the first time I’ve lost something in my cleavage, and it won’t be the last.
Chapter 17
“Holy fooking baws, the little shiteheads aren’t completely useless, aye?”
For the Love of Cupidity Page 7