“Lily’s got her nephew, Kenny, though…” He dropped his voice. “The boy is missing right now. The police are out looking for him.”
“Nice kid, that Kenny. If I hear anything, I’ll be sure to say. I got my radio on all the time. And I don’t mind making some calls, ya know. You keep in touch too.”
“Will do. Thanks for coming by.” Cam opened the door and encouraged him out. He sat on the floor near Lily and tried to pray.
FIFTY-EIGHT
Saturday, December 23
Cam didn’t feel right, leaving Lily alone, and stayed the night, stretched on the floor. She didn’t leave the chair, so he’d found blankets for them both. In the morning, she was dry-eyed and silent, a waif going through the motions. He went out and brought back a breakfast burrito which she pushed around the plate.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. The plan to trap the traffickers was postponed.
He made sure their phones were charged, answered calls, and told Sven and Ole and other neighbors what was going on. Late afternoon, shortly before dark, a strange phenomenon occurred. There’d be a shuffling sound outside, and he’d check the door to find some token gift on the front step.
Lily cried again at each delivery. Eight at last count. A slightly rusted yellow construction truck, an electronic pinball machine, a square box that rattled, a long, narrow package, all addressed to Kenny.
Matt would probably love a story, but Cam couldn’t bring himself to think that way. Georgia and Adam finally came with the kids and a few Christmas decorations. Devon and Hessia each carried a grocery bag, while Adam handled a hot dish.
“Where did you find this?” Cam whispered as they trooped in and he took the dish from his brother-in-law. “Motel owner’s wife. She heard about the situation and sent over this ham.”
People couldn’t change that fast. Cam thought back over the past year and a half. He hadn’t imaged the vitriol. But maybe, he confessed, he’d exaggerated it a bit. Just like newspapers sell more bad news than good for the sensationalism and the sales, he’d puffed out of proportion the bad experiences he had with people treating him less than civilly compared to the good things people said and did. Like Sven and Ole, the motel owner, and even some of the regulars at the diner. When he made himself face it, they hadn’t been as bad as he tried to spin it.
Georgia bustled around the dreary kitchen like it was her own, hmpfing when she couldn’t turn up a spatula or a hot pad, or matching dishes.
“A bachelor lived here for the past several years,” Cam reminded her.
“Bachelor with no imagination.” She had the oven on low to warm the food they’d brought, and a radio set to soft carols. “Where is she?”
Cam hadn’t realized that Lily was out of the recliner, which the kids immediately took over. Adam brought in a kitchen chair to sit with them and watch reruns of familiar holiday movies.
Alarm strutted down Cam’s spine. It was bad enough Kenny had gone missing on his watch. He made short work of the hall, opening the door of a bedroom and stopping to catch his breath in a silent cry of relief at her figure huddled on the bed.
“Lily, you scared me,” he whispered in the dark. “I thought you’d been taken too.”
She turned over.
“It must seem we’ve invaded your house.” Cam slid next to her. “They just want to cheer you up a bit.” She stiffened when he touched her hair. “I know it seems impossible, but I believe this will end well. I believe God is watching out for that precious little boy and will bring him home.”
“I can’t take it if I lose one more person. I’ll die.”
He turned her into his arms. “Please, Lily. Don’t think like that.”
“My mother was right. I can’t be a mom. Not just because of the Poland’s but because I’m no good at it.”
“You’re wrong,” he whispered. “Dead wrong. You’re a stronger person because of what you’ve endured. I know it. What have you missed out on because of the Poland’s? Parents who didn’t deserve you? A creep boyfriend who couldn’t have handled anything?”
“Sometimes you want someone—anyone—to love you, to feel safe, but there isn’t any place on earth that’s safe enough. They took my sister, killed my brother, now…him. Then they’ll come for me. I might as well sit out on the highway with a sign instead of trying to hide.”
Cam touched her cheek. “I saved you once, didn’t I? Can’t you trust me even a little?”
“You were standing right here when they took him.”
He breathed in the pain of her accusation, held it, owned it.
“I’m sorry.” Lily whispered.
“But it’s true. Another true thing is that people will always disappoint us. I couldn’t ever do anything right for my father. Georgia fought so much with our mother that I was afraid for them both. I realized something tonight. The way I expected everyone to treat me colored my perception of how they really acted.”
She rolled her head away. “I can’t go on living in fear or putting others in danger. Think about it. Right now, out there, your family is in danger, simply because they know me and are in my house. The killers could come here any time, break in and get me, and hurt them all…or worse.”
How could he reach her? “You’ve been fearful of something every day of your life, haven’t you?”
She twisted her neck toward him. “What do you mean?”
“Some fear is healthy, like fear of speeding cars or dangerous animals. But being afraid to share your deepest secret, like your Poland’s, in not healthy. What happened when you told me?”
“That’s different.”
“In some ways, yes.”
“I guess you mean you find out who you can trust, who will accept you.”
“Right. And more. You either become a person of faith, living for beyond, or you reject God for leaving out some parts and watching how you to pick up the pieces.” He held her closer when she tried to move away. “I love you. I think that, together, we can provide a strong foundation for whatever comes. I’d like to think about the future, finally. When I was growing up, I didn’t think about anything other than the next thing my Dad had me do. In the army, I couldn’t do more than live mission by mission or hang on for the next downtime, the next leave. When I thought I could look forward to a happy life with Laura, she died. Even before I was able to move beyond the hurt, I was falsely accused and lost faith in the legal system.”
He paused to gather his thoughts. “It was me, thinking things like what Kenny said when he met me. I thought about why so many black men go to prison, and for a second I believed I was going to end up there for a long time even though I was innocent, and couldn’t face a future like that. I thought about ending it.”
He welcomed her hand around the back of his neck and said, “With you, I can’t deny I may just be setting myself up again, but it feels right. I have faith. If I could, I would pour it into you so you could feel it too.”
“You don’t have to. All I can promise is that I’ll try. But so far, nothing’s really worked the way I wanted.”
Cam was about to answer when they were interrupted.
“Hey in there,” Adam’s voice called softly. “I don’t mean to disturb you, but Georgia’s going to fry us if we don’t make an appearance at the table. Something about the ghost of Christmas future and Tiny Tim’s crutch. I didn’t catch all of it. But it sounded scary.”
Cam smiled at Lily’s choking snort. “Okay, thanks. Be right there.”
* * *
After the food was eaten, Lily sat at the table, numb and lonely despite a houseful of Cam’s…colorful family. Adam was nice and she loved listening to his Texas drawl. Devon was sweet, if a bit loose-lipped. The girl was a typical teenager. Georgia, on the other hand, seemed to have a built-in prejudice that cut Lily deep, even after their talk the other morning. What she had done to annoy Cam’s sister she had no idea, besides being white. Still, it was nice of her to care enough to bring food and stay when there wasn’t
anything Lily could do, besides think about what damage she would inflict on those who took Kenny. Not even Forbes would get in her way. In fact, the desire to talk to dear old dad and put some plan into motion kept her healing feet and hands itching to the point of pain. Georgia sat on the other side of the table nursing a cup of cocoa, less angry than the other day when they’d met.
“I’m sorry about your nephew,” Georgia said. “It’s every mother’s worse nightmare. I pray every spare minute.”
“Thank you.”
Silence curled around them, like a chill fog.
“I’ve been reading Grandma’s diaries,” she said. At Lily’s raised brows she thawed some and chuckled. “It surprises you that I’d never read them. Well, they always seemed sacred. Private. You know, like peeping in your mother’s underwear drawer.”
Lily nodded.
“They were pretty shocked when their son, my daddy, brought home a white girl and married her.”
“I read that.”
“I lived it.”
Lily didn’t care much about delicacy at this point. “Sometimes the things that happen aren’t about you.”
Georgia’s laser beam eyes shifted focus on to something Lily couldn’t see. Lines appeared around her mouth.
* * *
Cam’s family stayed late, watching television, camped out on the floor that night, surprising Lily with a sort of vigil for Kenny. She huddled in Cam’s arms as they leaned on pillows against the back wall.
“Turn the news on, Dad,” Devon said at ten o’clock.
“News?” Lily whispered. “What kid wants the news?”
Cam shook with laughter. “Watch.”
When the program showed the potential weather track of Santa across the planet the next day, she understood. “Gotcha.”
They both sat up and leaned forward when a new report followed. Adam held the remote up, ready to change the channel, when Cam called, “Wait! We have to see this.”
The voice over the film said, “Judge Bernard Andersen, whose name has been tossed around as a possible Supreme Court nominee to fill the upcoming vacancy, was arrested today on suspicion of murder. Andersen was a rookie officer on duty in July, 1966, when a neighborhood store owner, a Mr. M. Po, was shot and killed.” The film showed the judge, who wore his silver hair like a crown over clearly angry pride, dressed in an elegant gray suit, being led away, handcuffed, from a home in a posh neighborhood.
“The judge has also been suspected of collusion in a recent Sands County shooting of a federal agent performing a routine background check. This is Renn Tomlin, reporting live from Whitefish Bay. Back to you, Gina.”
“What was that about, Dad?” Devon asked.
“Better ask your uncle.”
“Uncle Cam?”
Georgia’s face was grave in the reflected television light. “Was that…”
“Yes. That’s him,” Cam said. “Grandma and Grandpa Taylor witnessed that man commit a crime, Devon, way back in 1966.”
“And he’s just getting arrested now? Man, that’s, like, a hundred years ago,” Hessia said.
“How’d they figure it was him?” Devon’s question came out in the eager-perplexed tone of a pre-teen.
“Your Uncle Cam figured out the clues from great-grandma’s diaries,” Adam said.
“Actually, Lily helped a lot. Murder is one thing that you can never run from,” Cam told the room at large, sagacious as if he stood in a lecture hall.
“Was he the one who made Grandpa disappear?” Georgia asked. “Will he finally tell us about that?”
Cam shook his head. “We may never know the truth about that, but Agent Deice promised my lawyer she’d look into it.”
“Who was that other agent who got shot? Is he dead?” Devon asked.
“That was a mistake the reporter made,” Lily said. “The man who got shot was also an agent, true, but his name is Paul Stewart and he’ll be all right. He wasn’t working with the agents doing the background check, but was searching for…for…”
Cam came to her rescue. “Evidence that will help Lily.”
“And Kenny?” Devon was on his side, his face solemn.
“Yeah,” Cam said. “That’s right.”
Lily leaned against Cam again and tuned out the other chatter. Her family had been so dysfunctional she thought she’d always rather be alone than risk dragging anyone into it—that was, if anyone was fool enough to want to. A short time later, she lay her head on Cam’s chest while he snored lightly and thought that yes, she could do this. Wake up like this, move through a day, and fall asleep like this, with this wonderful man. When had it happened? That instant she realized she’d wrapped herself in barbed wire, given him shears, and let him cut his way through? Trusted him? He hadn’t gotten all goggly or mushy or phony-nice about the Poland’s. She’d traumatized herself enough about it already. When you love someone—love, love, love—problems seemed less horrifying when they were shared.
Less horrifying…not easier or kinder. He might have been crushed as a child the way his sister had treated him. But it wasn’t like Georgia had tried to murder him. Her family ranked maybe a step below the Borgias. Anyone in his right mind should have run. The stage direction would have been Exit: screaming.
But he hadn’t.
If only she hadn’t lost Kenny. But that proved she couldn’t be a mother. Cam would understand her decision not to have children.
FIFTY-NINE
Sunday, December 24
Lily blinked awake in the morning. Christmas Eve—and no Kenny. The Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer die-cut Devon insisted on hanging in the front window shone garishly in the light. Someone was in the bathroom. Cam breathed deeply and regularly, and Georgia snored away, flat on her back. The kids sprawled around her on the floor, in dreamland. Must be Adam.
The doorbell rang. The snoring stopped.
“Huh?” Georgia rubbed her forehead. Cam snuffled. And Lily ran to answer.
Officer Deegan stood there while Roger danced in the background. “Tole ya, tole ya. I made some calls. Somebody saw him.”
Kenny flung himself across the threshold into her arms. Cam stood at her back and wrapped his arms around them both. “Come in, come in,” she managed to get out. “Thank you, thank you.”
“What happened?” Cam rasped.
Roger sang out, “Those other people at the trailer—”
“Thank you, Mr. Mahoney,” Deegan said. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Mahoney?” Lily said. “Like at the trailer court?”
“Right. That’d be Bill, my brother. William. Likes t’be called Bill. Spells it with two l’s, ya know. In case you want to write about him in the newspaper.”
“Got it,” Cam said.
“Mrs. Ramirez was driving by in her car by the hospital,” Kenny said. “She stopped and said hi, and I said hi, and she said, quick, get in. She wanted to give me a Christmas present.” His chin wobbled. “I know I’m not supposed to go with strangers, but she wasn’t a stranger. I’m so sorry. I was just so mad.” The last words were spoken through drawn-out sobs.
“What happened? Did she hurt you?” Lily asked, trying to check him out all over in between hugs.
“It seems she had some sort of delusion that Kenny would, ah, perhaps be a substitute for her son who’s comatose,” Deegan said, referring to his notes.
“Thomas,” Lily said. “But she didn’t hurt you?”
“I brought him here first, but we should take him to the hospital,” Deegan said.
“No.” Kenny shook his head.
He smelled of peppermint and chocolate. “Did you eat anything at her house? How do you feel?” She looked into his eyes. Other than red from crying, he seemed all right.
“I’m fine. At first, I thought she was just lonely, you know, and I could make her feel better.” He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “And it’s closer to my house, so I could keep watch in case my mom comes home. But then she started calling me Thomas and
made me put on his pajamas and sleep in his bed. But I sneaked out this morning before she woke up.”
“Mr. Mahoney found him,” Deegan said.
“Yeah, see, here’s the thing,” Roger cut in again. “I called up my brother and said, see, there’s this boy missing. You better watch out. Hey?” He put his forefinger along his nose. “Get it?”
“Yes, yes, we do,” Cam told him.
“I’ll want to talk to him some more,” Deegan said. “Can you bring him to the office on Tuesday, after Christmas?”
“Sure, sure.” Lily would give him anything he asked. Except for Kenny, whom she couldn’t stop hugging.
“One more thing, ma—Lily,” Deegan said. “Because of the holiday, my report will be a little late, but the day after, you should expect a visit from Children’s Services. I’ll make sure it’s clear the Ramirez woman was stalking the boy, and that she took an immediate advantage when she saw him leave the hospital. And that I was at fault for not staying with him.”
“Thank you,” Lily told him. “But you shouldn’t blame yourself. Kenny can move fast.”
“Merry Christmas,” Cam said, as he opened the door for Deegan and Roger. “Thank you both for everything.”
“Merry Christmas, Aunt Lily,” Kenny said. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll be good from now on. I promise. I don’t ever want to go with anyone else. I’ll li-live here.”
“I’m sorry, too, Kenny. I’ll try to do better to take care of you.”
“Oh, you take care of me just fine already. I need to put my mad away when it makes me want to do bad things.”
“True wisdom from the mouths of babes,” Georgia said.
Lily smiled through her tears. Cam pulled off Kenny’s coat and held it. He would make an exceptional father, she thought. And it was a shame to let that gorgeous gene pool die out. Maybe they could work out the parenting thing. In the future. Cam was muttering something behind her, and she leaned closer to hear.
“Then, with eyes that saw not,
I kissed her; and she, kissing back, could not know,
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