by Ciara Graves
“How do you know that, huh? How? He nearly died trying to keep my ass alive. What do these bastards want from me? I’m a cursed mage. I’m useless. Yet everyone feels the need to keep coming after me, again and again, and again. I’m tired, so freaking tired.”
I sipped my beer as she stalked to the windows and glared out over the city. Should I tell her what Damian told me? I sensed she knew about the war and had been hiding that information from me, but the rest of it, the promise to keep her safe, would she want to know? I scoffed. No, she’d shove me away even more.
“Mercy,” I finally said when she’d been silent for a good five minutes. “We need to talk.”
“Do you want to fight right now? Is that it?” She laughed bitterly as she turned to face me. The pain over Damian in her eyes was quickly replaced by rage.
“I never said fight. I said talk.”
“Which means it’ll turn into a fight. We both know it.”
“Not if you’re honest with me. All I want is the truth. Which seems to be the one thing you refuse to give me.”
She shrugged. “Technically, you already know the truth. You just need to remember.”
I marched across the room and took her shoulders in my hands. “Help me remember. I can’t keep you safe if I don’t know the full picture. What’s going on?”
“Keep me safe?” She tore herself from my grasp. “Who said you had to?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t matter?” She shook her head as she set her beer down and tilted her head, studying me. Her lips parted, and she barked a laugh. “That rat bastard. He came to you. Didn’t he? And he made you promise him something. Didn’t he?”
She shouted the last part, but I said nothing. Two could play at this game.
“I don’t need anyone keeping me safe. I have everything under control.”
“Clearly.”
“What was that?” Her hands curled into fists as she stalked closer.
“You need help.”
“I have help.”
“Yes. From a vampire and a wanted goblin. Seems like you have the greatest help in the world.”
She yelled incoherently then made for the door.
“Where the hell are you going?”
“Out, I’m going out, and I’m not coming back. I don’t care what you said to Damian, or he said to you, but none of it matters, got it? Nothing matters.”
I reached her just as she was at the door and put myself between her and it. “I can’t let you go out there alone. Stay here and cool off for a few hours at least.”
She shoved me, and I staggered back a step taken off-guard by the burst of strength. Just like the first time we met, and I saw how she moved, how strong she was physically, I wondered what else she was beside a mage. Her eyes glowed white with magic as she shoved me again.
“There’s no point. Don’t you get it?” She shoved me a third time. “I’m trying to save us both.”
“From what?” I grabbed hold of her hands when she moved to shove me, then wrapped my arms around her, holding her to my chest. “Just talk to me. Damn it. Why are you shoving me away? Why? How many times have we tried to stay away and ended up right back with each other? How many times have we saved each other’s lives? You really think we’re meant to be apart?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
What was she talking about? “It does, and you know it. Why are you doing this?”
“I said why.”
“Saving us from what? Mercy, for the love of the gods, woman, just talk to me. That’s all I ask. Talk to me. Be honest.”
“And the second I do that, this all ends.”
The fierceness of her words made me let her go, and she stumbled away from me.
“I can’t want you,” she whispered so quietly I almost didn’t catch it. “I can’t want to be with you. I can’t want any of this.”
“Says who?”
“Says logic.” She whirled around and glared at me. “Whatever we think this is? It’s not real.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
I growled as I closed the distance between us. She backed away.
I wasn’t letting her escape this situation that easily. “It’s real. Everything we’ve felt is real. You’re just running.”
“For good reason. Please, Rafael, just let it go. We can’t make this work. There’s no world where this turns out well for either of us.” She backed into the couch, cursed, then sidled around it. “You said it yourself. I’m dealing with shit that’s going to cause trouble. I busted a known criminal out of his cage. I… shit, I killed Todd.”
That forced me to a stop. “Todd? The shifter?”
She nodded “I killed him. It’s why you haven’t been able to find him. Well, at least not find him alive.”
Head spinning, I frowned. “Meaning what?”
“Meaning he came back as a bloody ghost and is helping me out with Rufus and Bowen.”
“It was self-defense, right?” As soon as I asked it, I saw the truth in her eyes. “Mercy, what did you do?”
“I was pissed, alright?” Her guilt filled my apartment, but underneath it was that simmering rage, ready to explode out of control. “He tried to kill me and then he was just going to get away? I couldn’t let him, so I tracked him down in Sector 18, and I killed him. Shot him in the head.”
“Did he attack you?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Did he attack you before you shot him?” I repeated, louder this time.
“Yes, but I tricked him into fighting again and then I… I shot him.” She swallowed hard, clutching a hand to her stomach like she was going to be sick. “I can’t be around you.”
“You killed him to save yourself. I don’t see the problem,” I tried to say, but she yelled cutting me off. “What?”
“Every time I kill someone or break a criminal out of jail it puts you at risk. You and your job. I can’t keep doing this to you. I’m going to drag you down so far you’re going to hate me because of it.” She turned her back on me, but it was dark enough outside I saw our reflections in the window. Her face was scrunched in confusion as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Your boss has it right. I’m not like you. I’m a killer, and that’s not about to stop. It can’t.”
“To stop a war?” I whispered, and her gaze locked onto mine in the glass.
“What did you say?”
“Damian spoke to me before he crashed,” I admitted as she turned around slowly, looking like she was ready to punch me in the face for keeping that from her. “He told me there’s a war coming, and I need to keep you safe. Protect you, no matter what.”
Mercy’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “Must’ve been the drugs he’s on.”
“Don’t do that. This man who cares about you made me swear to keep you safe. What war is he talking about? And who is this she who’s coming?”
The color drained from her face making the scar stand out even worse on her cheek.
“Mercy. Who’s trying to start a war?”
“You can’t be involved.”
“Too damned late for that. I saw Envy. I fought him next to you. I saw the tree and the ritual stones. All I have are pieces. Just tell me what’s going on, so I can help you stop whatever madness is happening here.”
But she was already shaking her head. “No. I need you to forget, not remember.”
“Sadly, that’s not going to happen.”
“I can’t do this. I can’t watch you get hurt, like Damian was. I won’t. I’m sorry, Rafael, but this is over. Whatever you remember, just make yourself forget it.” She moved past me for the door.
I caught her hand. “Don’t you dare walk away from this,” I whispered roughly. “Don’t.”
I waited for her to haul off and hit me, so I let her go.
She squeezed my hand right back, and then she shoved me into the wall as she dragged my mouth down to hers.
I held her close as we were lost in t
he moment. How could she ever think this wasn’t meant to be? I picked her up and turned us around, so she had her back to the wall.
Our kiss deepened as we clung to each other.
After all the shit we’d been through together, I was not going to let her walk away from the fire growing between us. At least, not easily.
“We can’t be together,” she whispered against my lips.
“The hell we can’t.”
“Rafael, you don’t understand, but you will, and then it’ll all be over. All of it.”
“Can you let me decide that for myself?”
Those blue eyes started to look cold again, and I rested my forehead against hers.
“Don’t shut me out. Have a little faith in me. Whatever it is, whatever truth you’re hiding, I can take it.”
“Not this time.”
“Mercy, I…” I choked on the words I tried to get out, not even sure what I wanted to say. “I swore to protect you, and I’ll do it, whether you want me or not.”
“I do,” she said on a breath. “And that’s the problem.”
I kissed her again, just a soft brush of my lips against hers, but it was enough to tell me all over again how much this dangerous woman meant to me. I couldn’t let her just walk out of my life and never come back.
I looked in those blue eyes. “Do you trust me?”
“With my life.”
“Then tell me the truth. What else are you hiding? What am I not remembering yet?” I smoothed her hair from her face.
She opened her mouth, shut it, tried again, then sighed.
“So you don’t trust me.”
“That’s not it, and you know it.”
I set her back on her feet, torn between wanting to plead with her and getting angry that she clearly didn’t trust me. I was about to call her out on it when my cell rang.
“We’re not finished with this discussion,” I warned her then answered. “Rafael here.”
“We have a situation,” Iris said loudly, sounding out of breath.
“What’s going on? Where are you?”
Mercy perked up at my tone, so I put Iris on speakerphone.
“There’s been another attack. Chief wants you to get down to the Citadel as fast as you can. You and Mercy, if she’s up for it.”
“Why there?” I grabbed the keys to the SUV as Mercy checked her weapons. Except her pistol, which was missing. She grappled with her coat and cursed when she turned up empty pockets. I waved at her that I’d get to her gear in a second.
“The gargoyles busted into one of the apartments there,” Iris explained. “It’s bad this time.”
“How bad?”
“Just get here as fast as you can.” Iris hung up, and I shoved my cell in my pocket.
“My weapons, I think they’re back at my place,” Mercy told me.
“No, they’re not. I swung by your apartment first and snagged what I could find.” I reached into my jacket and pulled out her collapsible sword. As I handed it to her, I withdrew two sheathed daggers from my inside pocket. “Your gun was destroyed. One of the gargoyles stepped on it I think.”
“Thanks for getting these,” she mumbled as she tucked them in their appropriate places.
“You’re welcome. Let’s go.”
I wanted to stay a while longer until I finally convinced Mercy she could be honest with me, but Iris said this one was bad.
I thought Damian nearly being killed was bad.
What could possibly be worse?
We climbed into the SUV, and I sped across the city to find another scene of chaos outside the Gathered’s sacred home.
Chapter 10
Mercy
As grateful as I was for the distraction when Iris called, the second we stepped out of the SUV, I wanted to climb right back in and make Rafael take me somewhere else. Anywhere else. Mages were everywhere. And every single one looked at me like I was some damned prodigy, finally coming home.
“Mercy?”
“I’m fine,” I snapped at Rafael.
If he took it personally, he didn’t show it.
The mages whispered behind their hands as I followed Rafael through the crowd assembled on the street, then ducked under the crime scene tape. Feds and cops crawled all over the sidewalk. Thank god I was on their side now. Hiding from them here would’ve been nearly impossible.
We spotted Nor and Iris near the entrance, but before we reached them, two cloaked figures stepped in front of me.
My hand went to my dagger on instinct, but Rafael put his arm across my body, stopping me.
“Joseph, what’s going on?” Rafael acted like he knew this mage.
I glared from him to the man standing before us. “Sycamore? This is the mage you talked to?”
Joseph Sycamore nodded at me. “That I am. I’m afraid I have nothing but bad news.” He held out his hand for mine, and after a few seconds, I gave in and took it. “And it is an honor to meet you, at last. A great honor.”
“Yeah, thanks.” I took my hand back quickly. “What happened?”
“We’ve lost two of our own this night.”
“The gargoyles killed them?” I glanced at Rafael as he cursed. “There goes that theory then.”
He frowned. “What theory?”
I kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. Why couldn’t anything be straightforward? Now we were right back to where we started, with no idea who brought these monsters back. “After all the shit your mages have been giving me, we were starting to believe you were the ones who brought back the gargoyles.”
“Why would we do that?” Joseph asked, alarmed. “They’re a bad omen. I told Rafael as much.”
“Yeah well, after being threatened and attacked by them again, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to think.”
“Threatened?” Joseph wrung his hands, looking nothing like the mage who came to Gigi’s shop. He seemed genuinely nice and like he wanted to help. Like he cared about me for more than who my dad was. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t catch the mage’s name, but he said something about Quin not being happy, the longer I refuse to join you here.”
“Ah, now I understand.”
“Well, I don’t. I’m not one to give in to threats. Surely that’s a well-known fact. Threatening me will only make it much, much worse.” I wanted so badly to draw my dagger, but not on Joseph. On Quin. “I’m not someone who can be fetched.”
Joseph rubbed his forehead. “I apologize on behalf of my colleagues. They are overzealous at times. Particularly when such strong mages make themselves known.”
“Not powerful. Cursed,” I corrected.
“And yet, I hear you’ve used extraordinary magic,” he said, but there was no threat in his words. “Despite what the others have said, I wish to tell you should you ever need my aid, simply call on me. There is no need for you to come here or join our ranks. None, whatsoever. But,” he said as he leaned in closer, looking around as if checking to ensure no one listened in, “I do understand that powers as great as yours can be unstable. Do not let them get too far out of your control before you ask for help.”
If the other mages had sent Joseph as their messenger, I might’ve given in. “Thank you,” I said sincerely. “I might take you up on that one day.”
“Just not today, I understand.”
“Is this Quin around?”
Rafael grunted beside me. “You’re not here to threaten the leader of the Gathered. We’re here to investigate the deaths of mages. Remember? Since it would appear the gargoyles did not, in fact, come from their magic.”
“He threatened me,” I muttered, annoyed.
Rafael raised his brow.
“Fine, I’ll play nice.”
His huff indicated he didn’t believe that for a second.
Joseph said he would take us to where Nor was and cleared a path through the mages. They continued to watch me, and it took everything I had not to scream at them all to leave me alone. If I joined them,
came to be with my brother and sister mages, I’d be the main attraction. I hated having any attention on me. There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d join now. But Joseph’s offer sounded like a good one. I’d keep it in mind because he was correct; my magic was growing more unstable by the day. As much as I told myself I had it under control, it flared up out of nowhere or when I was about to die, then left me so weak I couldn’t fight. Couldn’t even stand.
The war was coming, and if couldn’t use my magic, I’d be screwed in a battle against Shuval.
That evil set of dragon eyes flashed in my mind, and I tripped over my feet.
“Mercy?” Rafael kept a firm hold on my arm as he righted me.
“Sorry. Tired is all.”
“You can go back to the SUV. I’ll tell you what I find out.”
“No, I’m good. Let’s get this over with. I have questions of my own to ask.”
He scowled at me, but let it go, and we followed Joseph the rest of the way to the front entrance then inside. The second we walked through, I shivered at the rush of magic. It filled every inch of this place, and I gasped.
“The first time is difficult for every mage,” Joseph said. “Take your time.”
I sucked in a deep breath, growing dizzy from the heavy dose of magic.
Rafael didn’t seem to be affected at all.
A weird churning started in my gut, as if something was trying to get out and I held it, turning my back on them both. I might be part dragon, but aside from speed and strength, I never sensed anything from that blood running in my veins. Now, it was like the dormant beast inside me was desperate for a way out. After a minute that dragged on for eternity, I nodded that I was good to go.
“Rafael,” Nor said when he spotted us. “Glad you two could make it. How’s your friend?” he asked as he turned to me. His authoritative air was as strong as the first time I met him, but the concern in his eyes was confusing.
“He’ll pull through with luck,” I informed him. “It was close, though.”
“I heard. Are you sure you should be up and moving around?”
“I’ve had worse. What happened here?”
He waved for us to follow him and Iris, and we walked deeper into the massive Citadel.