by Ciara Graves
“Drinking alone?”
I growled, giving Iris a sideways glance as she plopped down on a stool beside me. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Hanging out. You?”
“What do you think? Go away.”
“Why, so you can keep brooding on your own? Think I’ll keep you company for a while.”
“I don’t want company. I want to be left alone. Go find some poor sop to dance with.” I turned my back to her and picked up my beer, eyeing the mass of people on the dance floor. I waited for Iris to get the hint and leave, but she refused and stayed right where she was, ordering a martini.
“You and Mercy get in a fight or something?” she pushed.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what? You’re in a piss-poor mood these last few weeks. And we haven’t seen any sign of her. Figured you two were ticked off at each other, but this fight seems to be lasting a long-ass time.”
“Not a fight.”
I stayed turned away from her, but she watched me all the same.
“Sure, not a fight. Whatever you say.”
“You know, Iris, this is one of those times you’d be a better partner if you’d go away and leave me alone.”
She got up, and I sighed in relief until she spun me around on the stool and nailed me with a glare. “Whatever shit you’re going through is affecting everyone trying to solve this damned Envy case. You’re scaring half the younger guys every time you walk into the damned room, and you really think Nor’s going to let you keep acting like this? I’m trying to do you a favor. Talk to me.”
Nor had been watching me like a hawk. It wouldn’t be long before he called me into his office to give me shit for my attitude. Again. The first couple of days, I told myself I could control my anger, and no one would notice. But Mercy cut me too deep, and part of me eventually had to admit why her betrayal pissed me off so badly. I’d be damned if I was going to share that information with Iris though.
Taking my beer, I stalked past her and skirted around the dance floor.
Iris stayed by the bar, at least, and after finishing off my beer, I left the club. The night was cool with the scent of spring rain on the breeze. At the end of the street, I stopped short. Going home sounded like a terrible plan. I had a stack of work waiting for me on my desk and trudged along the busy sidewalks toward the Fed building.
My desk was now a table in one of the conference rooms. After the fight with the dragonborn and Nor learning about the artifacts, all my attention had been directed at tracking down Envy. The information came in at a trickle. only because I had to find legitimate reasons for how I knew what I knew. Most I said came from Mercy and Nor didn’t question it. The rest of it was what I’d picked up while helping her, and Bowen, and Rufus. That I kept confidential. Once we reached Nashville for intel on the mage, the reports piled up. All sent from other sectors. Envy was all over the damned place, but no one knew where his current location was. He was tied to so many others. Sifting through the overwhelming amount of information took up all my time. Too bad even that wasn’t enough to distract me from Mercy. It reminded me of her fight against Envy. How I watched her nearly die. How I’d gone into a full demon rage to save her.
Reminded me of how much I cared for her.
“Doesn’t matter,” I snapped to myself as I slapped a stack of files down in front of my chair. “It’s over. You’ll never see her again.”
“Rafael.”
I snarled as I jerked upright.
Nor moved back in time to avoid my flying fist.
“Shit, sorry, sir.”
“Save the apologies. You look like hell. Did you sleep here?”
I rubbed my eyes hard and shrugged. “We have to find Envy. I had a lot of work to catch up on, and I couldn’t sleep.”
“Rafael, we need to talk.”
“I’m fine, sir.”
“I wasn’t asking you if you were or not.” Nor hauled me up from my chair.
I protested, but he snarled, and I clamped my lips shut. The rest of the floor was empty, so no one saw me practically being dragged into Nor’s office like I was about to be scolded by a principal.
He tossed me into his office and slammed his door shut behind him. “What are you doing?”
“The death of twelve agents hit me hard, sir. It could’ve been prevented.”
“It hit all of us hard, but we’re getting through it. We’re not walking around looking like we’re going to tear people apart, limb by limb,” he ranted, throwing his arms in the air as he spoke. “What do you mean it could’ve been prevented?” he added, his voice quieter, shooting me a curious glare.
A glare I didn’t like. “Nothing, just we should’ve been able to save them.”
Nor crossed his arms and his brow arched. “We had no idea what we were up against. You saying someone neglected to tell us we were going to be fighting a dragonborn hybrid?”
I ground my teeth. That was exactly what I wanted to say, but that’d be giving up Mercy. As much as I was pissed off at her, I couldn’t get the words out. I shrugged. “I don’t know, but that’s why I want to find Envy and end this.”
“End what?”
“End whatever this madness is with the hybrids,” I shouted furiously. “It all started with Liam. And all it’s done is get worse.”
“Why do I sense there’s more you’re not telling me?”
“I don’t know.”
“I do not accept that answer. Try again.”
My hands throbbed from being clenched into fists so tightly. “Nothing, sir.”
“Have you spoken to Mercy recently?”
Keeping my face blank, I inwardly cursed Iris. Had she told Nor about our conversation last night? “Not in a few days. I believe she’s tracking down some leads of her own,” I lied and waited for him to buy it.
“Has she had any trouble?”
“Not that I’m aware of, no.”
Nor held my gaze steady for a solid minute then nodded toward the door. “Get your ass out of here and get back to work. But watch your anger. I’m not going to have you start a brawl in my office. Understand? You need to vent some rage, go to the gym and beat the crap out of a punching bag.”
I pushed my tongue against my cheek as I hurried out of his office. I had punched another demon three days ago. He’d made some remark about Mercy. I couldn’t even recall exactly what he said, but something inside me snapped, and I decked him. We’d been separated by a furious Nor, and I had no explanation to give him that excused my behavior. I returned to the conference room and one by one, my new team arrived. eyeing me warily. I gave out their assignments for the day. When Iris came in, I took hold of her arm and hauled her into the stairwell.
“Did you tell Nor you saw me last night?” I demanded.
“So what if I did? Hope he ripped you a new one,” she muttered and tried to go around me for the door.
I blocked her.
“Move it, Rafael.”
“You stay out of my business, got it?”
“Or what? You’re falling apart. Everyone else can see it, and if you don’t get over whatever funk this is, you’re going to get yourself or someone else hurt. You can’t go out into the field like this.”
Why did she have to be right? I grabbed hold of the railing, squeezing until my hands ached.
“Rafael, you’re going to hurt yourself,” she said, her voice softer, reaching for my hands.
The second her fingers brushed the back of my hands, Mercy’s face appeared before me along with her laughter. It was her touch I felt, and I tore myself away from Iris.
“Get back to work.” I threw open the door and hurried back to the conference room.
The rest of the day was spent keeping my mouth shut and everyone else staying as far away from me as they could. I didn’t eat, but I drank coffee until it tasted sour and churned in my gut. Iris’s comment had gotten to me, but worse was Nor asking if I’d heard from Mercy, if she’d been having any trouble. I
wouldn’t know, would I?
I told myself I didn’t care what became of her anymore. Too bad that was a shit-ass lie that I didn’t buy. Worry nagged at me. What if the reason I hadn’t seen her in two weeks wasn’t because she was staying clear of me? What if she’d been wounded?
What if Envy had gotten to her after all? What if she was dead?
By the time another long workday ended, I stalked out of the office and aimed for home. It wasn’t that I wanted to be there. I could use a shower and a fresh change of clothes. Showing up to work wearing the same thing three days in a row would only give Nor more cause to chew my ass out. I was nearly there when my cell rang.
I dug it out of my pocket, but the number was blocked. I started to shove it back when it rang again.
“Not answering,” I grunted and declined the call.
“That’s too damned bad,” said a voice on my right in the shadows in the alley.
The next second, two strong hands grabbed hold of me and threw me away from the sidewalk.
I barely managed to stay upright, and as I backed up, aiming for the streetlight behind me, my attacker came into full view.
“Damian?”
His face had finally healed from the gargoyle attack, but from the way he favored his right side, the rest of him hadn’t. His eyes said he did not want to talk, and I backed up another step.
“Give me one damned reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now for what you did.” He stalked closer, shaking his head. “One reason, Rafael, and maybe I won’t kill you.”
“You won’t kill me anyway. You’re in no shape to fight. Go home, Damian, before I arrest you.”
“You’ll never arrest me. And Mercy—how dare you pull a gun on her after everything she’s done for you?” He reached for the dagger at his hip. “You don’t deserve her.”
“She lied to me. Betrayed me. And in turn, her lie resulted in the deaths of twelve agents. I should turn her in. I should go tell Nor right now exactly what she is and let the Hunters have her.” I dug my nails into my palms as I said each word, swearing to myself I meant every single one.
“And if you turn her over, you’ll be condemning an entire race to death. Do you want that hanging over your head?”
That was exactly the reason why I hadn’t said anything about Mercy. The only reason. Or was it?
“Why are you here?” I finally asked Damian. “What do you want?” My gut twisted thinking Mercy might be hurt, but there was no worry in the half-demon’s eyes. Only anger was housed in his expression. “Did she send you? Tell you to come rough me up? Too much of a coward to do it herself?”
Damian moved faster than I expected, for how wounded he was. The dagger was pressed against my throat as he slammed me into the wall.
“Don’t you ever call her a coward. That woman is braver than you could ever know. I came on my own to ensure you do not give her away. If you do, I’ll be back, and we won’t have a nice chat like this. I’ll kill you, hear me? I’ll kill you if you turn her in.”
“Be careful, Damian. You wouldn’t want to hurt yourself anymore.”
He pressed the dagger harder to my skin until the blade pricked my neck and warm blood oozed from the thin laceration. “You might be a Fed, but I know how to disappear. No one will ever find me again. Final warning.” He backed off and sheathed the dagger at his hip.
“She shouldn’t have lied to me.” I gingerly touched the bleeding cut.
“And if she told you the truth the first time you met, what would you have done? Not gone to Nor and told him?”
I wanted to say no, but that wasn’t true. I would’ve turned her in for the good of the people. A dragonborn. She was dragonborn, and I was letting her run around Sector 21 like she was simply a cursed mage. Not half of a race that was meant to be extinct.
“In case you do actually care about stopping this war,” Damian said as he withdrew a piece of paper from his pocket, “check into this man.”
I waited a beat then took the paper. “Who is he?”
“Important. Find him, and you might get some more proof of what you’re telling your agents. Maybe they’ll stop being suspicious of you.”
“How would you know that?” I shoved the paper in my pocket.
Damian didn’t answer. He turned and walked to the end of the alley. At the street, his hand slipped back to his dagger. He nailed me with a glare so intense my hand went to my neck where he cut me, as if the dagger was right back at my flesh.
Then he was gone.
The walk to my apartment was quick, and once I was inside with the door locked, I slammed my fist into it, cursing in rage at the situation Mercy put me in. The night I learned the truth. The night I drew a gun on her replayed itself in my mind. She told me to shoot her that night like it would be nothing for me to finish her off.
I’d already stabbed her through the heart, at least that’s what the hurt in her eyes avowed. That I betrayed her. And not the other way around.
Not that it mattered, I repeated to myself again. My new mantra. I was not going to see her again. It was easier that way.
Once I had a beer in hand, I pulled out the paper Damian gave me and studied the name.
Franklin Monroe.
I had no idea who he was, but he’d be my focus first thing tomorrow morning.
Tonight, all I wanted to do was pretend I’d be able to forget every last memory about Mercy. A couple of nights ago, I nearly gave in and went back to the witch who helped me before. Thought she could give me another potion. But my chest ached already knowing I couldn’t be with Mercy. As much as her memories pained me, having something to hold onto of her was better than nothing.
Until she got in the way, or someone else revealed her as being dragonborn. Revealed all her crimes. Then I’d have to take her in, and she would not go down easily.
It’d be a fight, a bloody one.
And in the end, could I kill her?
Chapter 2
Mercy
I snapped my fingers and a spark shot up before my eyes. “Come on,” I muttered to myself. “Just one flame. All I want is one flame.” I snapped my fingers again and nothing. Not even a spark this time. I grunted loudly and settled back into my meditative pose on the floor.
There was no fire in the hearth because for the last few hours I’d been trying to conjure my white and gold flames to my hands and light it myself.
I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply through my nose then out through my mouth. The power was within me, but it was buried deep. Very deep. I hadn’t told Damian or Bowen. Or even Todd who had turned into my main confidante of late. Since my fight with Rafael, I hadn’t been able to summon a single flame. Nothing. I even took it so far as to get into a few bar fights waiting to feel that warmth rising inside me.
Nada.
It was like the flames were snuffed out. My power was locked away in a cage with no bars and no windows, no way to see if it still existed.
I sucked in another deep breath and reached down deep. I tuned out the ticking clock in Damian’s sitting room. The rain pattering against the windows. The cars driving by. I ignored everything else until it was only me inside my head. My limbs relaxed, and my shoulders sagged as I delved deeper and deeper, searching for a strand of light I could tug on that would lead me to the rest of my magic. My scar tingled, and as much as I hated to feel it, I took it as a good sign.
Mercy.
“No,” I snapped, and my eyes flew open. “Get out of my head.”
But then my eyes slipped closed on their own, and I was thrown back to the night Rafael pulled a gun on me. The night he remembered everything. The night he shattered the heart I didn’t even think I had. I yelled incoherently as I stood and grabbed the nearest thing to me and threw it into the far wall. The table splintered and shattered, hitting the floor just as the curtain parted and Damian entered the sitting room behind his office that had become my home for the last few weeks.
“Feel better?” His brow was raised, and
he leaned against the doorframe, watching me closely. “Mercy?”
“No I don’t feel better and where the hell were you?”
His brow rose even higher. “I was out taking care of something.”
“And? Care to elaborate or are you going to keep being all secretive and shit?”
“There it is,” he mused as he entered the room and sat down on the couch. “I was wondering when your anger was finally going to explode.”
“Nothing’s exploding.”
He nodded to the destroyed table. “Think the furniture would disagree with you.”
“One table. One freaking table means nothing.”
I plopped down on the floor attempting to reach the meditative state again. I managed to steady my breathing and my limbs relaxed, but then I was back at my apartment with Rafael. We were laughing and talking. He kissed me, and my heart hurt so bad I grunted at the pain.
Mercy.
I willed my power to come forward then so I could set something on fire, but it remained hidden away as Rafael’s whisper echoed through my mind. Why had I let him get so close? Why did I ever think I could be happy with him? That he would understand why I lied to him? And when he learned the truth that he’d accept who I am? I fell back to the rug and glared at the ceiling.
“Mercy, want to talk about it?”
“Eff off,” I mumbled.
“I need to know you’re not going to do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
“Why would you ever think I’d do something stupid?”
“Mercy.”
“I’m the most responsible person in the world. You know that. Not like anything’s gone wrong in my life to make me want to run off and get in a bar fight.”
“Another bar fight,” he corrected. “I pulled you out of the last two.”
“Not like the only friends I have left are purposely leaving me behind to go track down leads. Nope, that’s not happening at all.” I tilted my head back enough and glared at him. “Not like people are keeping secrets from me.”
He didn’t even shift as if he was uncomfortable.