I’m in awe of her. Knowing this woman isn’t afraid to be herself—or at least the version of herself I have seen so far—and the fact that she’s impossibly gorgeous is such a huge turn-on.
To think that I barely know her, that there’s more to her, excites me and worries me all at the same time. It excites me for the obvious reasons—hello, I am a guy—and worries me because I think I like her too much already.
I carefully pull my phone out and send a text to Tucker because I’m positive at this point that he set this up on purpose. Rae is just too much like the type of girl he’d pick for me.
Me: I see you, asshole.
He responds immediately.
Tucker: I see you, too, dick.
And then something occurs to me.
Me: Are you even fucking sick?
If not, he’s a good damn actor because I did hear him puking earlier and he looked pretty damn sick to me.
Tucker: Ha! Nope! Thanks for letting me out of work early by the way.
I barely manage to hold in a laugh.
Yep, I’m kicking his ass.
6
Rae
“Maura, bathroom?” I ask sweetly.
“No, I’m good.” She’s not even looking at me.
“Maura!” I put a little more bite behind her name this time, causing her to finally turn her head.
“Fine,” she huffs. “Would you boys please excuse us?”
I grab her arm and drag her to the restroom, turning on her as soon the door swings closed.
“What in the hell, Maura? Hudson! It was supposed to be Tucker, who I don’t even like so I’m not sure why you were going to set me up with him, but still! I had prepared for him, wasn’t sweating the date too bad because, again, I’m not into him. I wasn’t date date ready. Then you go and surprise me with Hudson and you didn’t give me a single heads-up. I mean, hey, thanks for this because I do like him, but why no heads-up?”
“Chill, woman! It was supposed to be Tucker, but only because he’s Tanner’s brother. Tanner wanted him here, not me. Besides, I figured we could grill Tucker on Hudson, get some info or something. If I’d had any choice at all in the matter, I would have picked Hudson from the start and I would have at least warned you about that. You know that. You’re just freaking out because Hudson’s here and you’re so into him.”
I huff and turn toward the sinks, leaning against them as I eye myself in the mirror. Maura starts primping next to me.
“Just relax, Rae. It’s okay. Hudson was obviously as surprised to see you as you were to see him. It’s all going to be okay. You two are cute together, by the way. Like ridiculously cute. You can tell he likes you too. He keeps leaning in toward you.”
I know she’s saying all this just to make me feel better, but a part of me desperately wants to believe she’s right. I like Hudson, and while I don’t know him all that well, I can tell I’m going to keep liking him—or at least I hope so. I’m usually a good judge of character, if I do say so myself. I can peer into someone’s eyes and read them like a book almost every time, and I hope this is one of those times, because when I look into Hudson’s eyes, I see determination, love, longing, familiarity, hope, and even sadness. I want to find out what causes every one of those feelings I see.
I feel like I have to know.
“I can see you doubting me. You think I’m just saying all this to make you feel better. I’m not. Look at me, Rae.” She spins me her way, staring directly into my eyes. “I promise I’m not lying to you. I can see something there. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s something, and I think you should explore it.”
She knows we well enough to know about my eye contact thing. I know she’s telling the truth based on that alone. I exhale loudly. “Thank you.”
She nods and we exit the bathroom because that’s all there is, all that’s needed between us: honesty and trust.
As we walk back to the table, Hudson and Tanner are in a heated discussion of some sort. Tanner flicks his eyes over Hudson’s shoulder and sees us, causing them both to stiffen a bit and stop talking.
I mentally shrug and brush it off. Whatever it is, it’s none of my business.
The table is quiet when we sit down. I’m not sure what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it’s lingering. I attempt to distract them both because it looks like they may jump over the table at one another.
“So, do you come here often?” I ask Hudson. Hudson laughs, almost choking on the Dr. Pepper he’s drinking. Tanner gapes at me and Maura rolls her eyes in an oh-my-god-did-I-really-take-her-out-in-public way. She loves me.
“Actually, I kind of do. Tucker plays here a lot, one a week or so. That’s how I discovered the place—watching him play.”
I’m shocked because Tucker didn’t seem like the musical type to me. I mean, I don’t know him well, but I pride myself on reading people and I didn’t see that one coming.
“No shit?”
“Shit,” Hudson deadpans. I feel the corners of my mouth tip up a bit.
“What the fuck, Tanner? Why didn’t you tell me your hot brother plays the guitar?” Maura scolds, getting all death-glare-like with Tanner.
“Chill, babe. I didn’t mention it because he’s always trying to steal my thunder. He’s not even that great at it,” Tanner pouts.
“That’s bullshit, Tanner, and you know it. He’s damn good. Why he hasn’t pursued a career in music, I have no idea. He loves this place though. Coming and watching all the different types of performances: the poetry, the skits, the comedy routines, the other musicians, all of it. I love it too. It’s eye-opening, really.”
“How so?” Maura asks. I may have forgotten she and Tanner were even here—Hudson’s voice is so mesmerizing.
“It’s kind of along the lines of what Rae said earlier. Think about it. All these people who get up there on that stage”—he points to the stage in the very center of the building—“pour their hearts out to strangers. That’s amazing. Not only that, but it’s eye-opening to know that those people—those brave people who can bring the room to complete silence, make others cry or laugh with their words—they’re people we know. People we live next to, work next to. Family. Anyone, really. It’s just eye-opening to know that such talented people are living among us day to day. I love it.”
I’m speechless. I can’t believe he just said all that. It was so beautiful, poetic, and true. I think I may have just fallen in love with his brain.
“Holy shit!” Maura exclaims. “Marry him now, Rae. If you don’t, I will.”
“Hey now! Watch yourself, Hudson.” Tanner angles himself in front of his date. “I’m growing quite fond of this one. I don’t want to have to fight you for her.”
Hudson doesn’t seem notice. Our eyes haven’t strayed from one another since I broke in with my awesome pickup line.
“Don’t sweat it, Tanner. I think I’m growing quite fond of someone myself.” He gives me a cute little smirk and I turn away because I feel my face heating up with embarrassment.
I take the moment of silence to readjust my mind and observe this club Hudson’s so fond of.
Mic’s isn’t really anything special at first glance, even from the outside. It looks like your typical low-lit bar, only there’s a stage directly in the center of everything. Dozens of tables surround it with fresh flowers or candles on each one, indicating they serve a little more than your usual bar food.
When you take a deeper look, you can see how amazing this place is. The decor doesn’t match in the slightest and the walls are covered in photographs, signed set lists, and custom paintings and drawings. Each one is beautiful in its own right. You can see the love the performers have for this place plastered all over the walls, including a few action shots of Tucker playing. You can see how many patrons love this place and keep returning night after night in the worn-out furniture and chipped dishes. It’s all things that are easily dismissed with a glance and sorely overlooked all too often, which is sad, because those
are the things that make this place so unique.
“It’s beautiful,” I say, turning back to Hudson. “Just beautiful. Thank you for choosing this place.”
He smiles.
I melt.
“So, Hudson,” Maura says, causing him to break our eye contact. “You work at a car shop?”
“I own the car shop. Jacked Up is my baby.” His answer is spoken with such pride.
Tanner mutters something under his breath and Hudson shoots daggers at him. He quickly shuts up.
“You own it? I had no idea!” Hudson grins at my little outburst. Now I’m sufficiently embarrassed because standing in Jacked Up with Hudson wasn’t one of my finest moments, since my mouth decided to run before my brain caught up. I’m assuming from the little glint in his eyes that he remembers.
“Yep. Have since I was twenty, but I’ve worked there since I was seventeen. That place kind of saved my life. Old Mr. Horton knew how much I loved it, so when he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, he offered the place to me at a crazy affordable price. I couldn’t turn it down.”
“Did he make it?” Maura asks. Hudson’s lips tip down, transforming his whole face. Even his eyes dim a bit. “Shit. Sorry. That was rude of me. Forget I said anything.”
“It’s okay, really. Unfortunately, no, he didn’t make it. He was like a second father to me is all. I’m very much indebted to him.”
Before I realize what I’m doing, I reach out and place my hand on his arm. He whips his head in my direction, his gaze landing on my hand.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” He meets my eyes and I stop breathing; his gaze is so sad and thankful all at the same time. I don’t think he’s healed from the former owner’s death, and I can tell how much my words mean to him. He nods, offering me a small smile.
The waiter picks that moment to deliver our food. I remove my hand and begin pushing around my chicken pasta, suddenly not quite as starved as before and thinking a little too hard about the intense stares Hudson and I have shared since I met him.
Truthfully, there have been a lot, more than I feel entirely comfortable with because they do something to me. They make my heart race, my body tingle, and my head fuzzy. It’s something new and intriguing, and as concerning as it is, I like it.
His eyes are so intense, so open. I would bet they’ve gotten him in and out of a lot of trouble. I smile a little to myself over that, which earns me a not-so-gentle kick in the shin from Maura. I look up and glare at her. She gives me her “innocent” face, which I’ve grown very accustomed to over the years, and turns back to Tanner, who seems to be talking her ear off. I hadn’t even noticed.
“So, Rae, what do you do? I mean, I know you work at Clyde’s and all, but are you in college or anything?” Hudson asks.
I take a sip of my drink to buy me a little time before I answer, because I hate this question, especially since I still haven’t heard back from any of the companies I applied to.
“I graduated in the spring. Clyde’s is it for me for now, but I’ve put in several applications in the city. I have a degree in marketing, and there’s not much to market around here.” I shrug, trying to play it off as if my lack of professional career doesn’t bother me.
“Marketing? That’s some fast-paced stuff. I know it’s not big time or anything, but Jacked Up has been looking at some advertising firms lately. We want to push our name more, generate some loyal customers so we can update our machinery a little,” Hudson says.
I perk up. “Have you found anyone yet?”
“No.” Hudson sighs. “Everyone wants to take it in a whole different direction. I want to keep it small, you know? Build our clientele with more advertising and a little marketing makeover.”
“Well, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything, but I can look over your ideas if you want. Give you some pointers.”
“That would be fantastic!” he says without hesitation. “I don’t want you to feel obligated, though. Only if you have time.”
With my lack of employment outside of the bar, I have plenty of time. “I do. It’s no problem at all.”
He smiles again. I melt again.
HUDSON
After having to warn Tanner away from saying anything about Joey because I’m not ready to spring the single father card on Rae just yet, dinner went well. The conversations flowed and there were no awkward lulls. Even Tanner was on his best behavior with Maura, only telling a few inappropriate stories about his buddies in the army.
Tanner and I split the bill while the girls step away to use the restroom one last time before we leave—“girl time”, apparently. Tanner approaches me with a gleam in his eye as I’m standing by the entrance.
“I’m so fucking that tonight, man! God, did you see her ass? Wait, don’t answer that, because I don’t want to have to punch you. You should ride home with Rae, get a little action yourself. I’m gonna offer to take Maura home, and by home, I mean back to my place, because I’m so hitting that!” Tanner’s all amped up at this point.
“You’re disgusting.”
“She wants my dick and you know it.”
“God, I hate you sometimes, Tanner. Have some fucking manners. Treat her with respect, you ass.”
He scoffs and I’m about to lay into him more when Rae’s laughter hits my ears.
“Maura, baby, can I give you a ride home?” Tanner asks all sweet-like when the girls approach.
I gag a little, surprised Maura is buying his shit. Tanner isn’t a completely bad dude, he just has no manners.
Maura looks to Rae, asking for permission. “That cool?”
“Yes, just be safe.”
“You—” Tanner begins to interrupt but Rae silences him with a stern look.
She turns back to Maura. “Now give me your keys since you drove. I do need to get home somehow.”
Maura tosses Rae her keys and squeals as she leaps into Tanner’s waiting arms, waving at Rae as they practically run from Mic’s.
“Guess it’s just me and you then, huh?” Rae asks, coming to stand next to me, watching them exit.
I smile down at her. “Guess so. Hope you don’t mind driving me home, though. I rode in with Tanner. Probably should have mentioned that before.”
After a brief pause, she says, “Nah, I don’t mind. Where do you live?”
“Over on 152nd Street for now. In those older apartments.”
“For now?”
Now it’s my turn to pause, because I want to phrase this carefully. I’m not trying to hide my daughter from Rae, but I’m not ready to reveal her yet either. “Uh, yeah. I’m looking to get a bigger place. I have something secured in Pembrooke Village, but I’m waiting on some electrical stuff to go through.”
“Oh, that’s a nice place, very family friendly.”
I smile and open the door for her, hoping she’ll drop the subject. She does.
We climb into a silver mini-SUV and head toward my apartment. She must be familiar with the area because she doesn’t ask for directions once.
“Are you from around here?” I ask, unable to contain my curiosity anymore.
“I am. I grew up here. I went away to college in Boston but still came home every weekend the entire four years,” she says, smiling widely. I can’t help but smile too. She really seems to like this little town.
“You seem fond of Wakefield. Why do you want to move to Boston? For work?”
“Honestly?” I nod. “Well, I’m not even sure I do. I think I just want a scenery change, really, something new, different. I don’t necessarily want to move to Boston, but I want to move somewhere…I think. I just want to do some things on my own for once…maybe.”
She might maybe think she wants to leave, but I almost feel as if she feels obligated to do something on her own, and she should understand that it doesn’t really have to be that way.
“That makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“Sure. I can relate. When I was younger, I went through some se
rious shit I wasn’t ready for. I felt like I needed to be out on my own, doing my own thing. I tried and failed miserably. That resulted in me moving back home for a couple years. I’ve only been out on my own again for a month. As soon as the place in Pembrooke is done, that’s when shit is going to get real serious, because I’ll definitely be on my own again.”
She’s quiet, almost too quiet.
“So you think I’m going to fail?” Rae asks in a flat voice that leads me to believe she’s not as calm as she’s pretending to be.
“What? No, no, no, no. That’s not at all what I’m saying, Rae. I’m just saying don’t rush it. You’ll know when you’re ready. I don’t really know you that well—”
“You’re right, you don’t know me,” she interrupts, never taking her eyes off the road.
“But I can tell you’re struggling with the decision to leave this town. You don’t have to. You don’t have to leave to find happiness. You can have it here. You can have your dream career here. You just have to find out what works for you, not what works for them.”
“Or you. I don’t find it fair you’re telling me what to do—or not do—handing out this advice when you don’t know my situation.”
“I get that, Rae. I truly do,” I try to reason. “But that’s not what I’m trying to do at all. I’m just saying you should do what makes you happy. Don’t give in to everyone else, to their dreams or what you feel like is expected of you. Don’t let them tell you what you want.”
“Like you’re trying to do? You have no clue at all what I want.”
“Neither do you.”
Then she’s quiet again and I’m man enough to admit I’m a little terrified of her silence.
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