I nod, thinking back to my earlier text exchange with Hudson. “I plan to.”
“Good. Now go out there and get that fine-ass man of yours before I try to bring him over to the dark side.” He winks, moving to the side and waving me out the door.
“I like you, Dall. Might just have to keep you around.”
“I think I’d let you.”
“Like you’d have a choice,” I call over my shoulder.
Before I make it to the end of the short hallway, I’m attacked by Maura swooping me up in a strong hug.
“Don’t hate me. Be safe. Have fun. Keep an open mind. I love you.”
And just as fast as I was crushed in her embrace, I’m set free, being pushed into the living room. Hudson turns from staring out the patio door, smirking at me in that sexy way of his.
“Hi.” It’s almost shy, the way he says it. It’s…cute.
“Uh, hi.”
He strides over to me, raising a hand to just one side of my face. I can’t help it—my head rolls into his simple touch. My breath hitches as he inches his lips closer to mine, only to swerve at the last second, placing a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. Instead of pulling away, he shocks me by ghosting his lips across my cheek, his hot breath sending chills down my spine.
“You look beautiful.”
I gaze up at him as he pulls back, smiling at the glint I see in his eye. He noticed my outfit. I love that he didn’t outright say something about it, but instead subtly acknowledged its significance, just as I had done by wearing it.
Hudson glances down at my mouth, back to my eyes, and then straight back to my lips again. Taking the initiative, I stand up on my toes and press a small kiss to his lips.
“I don’t normally kiss on the first date, but I’ll make an exception for you,” I tell him, winking as I move away and head toward the door.
I grab my jacket and purse off the back of the couch and turn back to him. “You coming, Casanova?”
“Goddamn I’ve missed that mouth.”
“So, where are we headed?”
We’re buckled in the car, racing down the highway out of town; my interest is officially piqued.
“Somewhere.”
“Right. I can see that. But where?”
“Can’t you just enjoy the surprise?”
“Going off all your other awesome surprises lately, no.”
He winces at my words, but I refuse to take them back, especially since they’re true.
His sigh tells me I’ve won this round. “Well, if you must know, I’ve made some arrangements. We’re, uh, going out of town for the weekend.”
Out of town? To where? Wait…why?
“Um, right. Okay.” I wring my hands together in nervousness, unsure of what he’s planned. “Uh, where are we headed to?”
I’m watching him, so I see the hesitant sidelong glance he shoots my way. He licks his lips, drawing out the moment another few seconds. “The beach.”
“The beach?”
He squints one eye closed, like hearing the words leave my mouth makes him question everything. “Um…yes?”
I sit back in my seat, not realizing I’d moved forward at all. “Oh.”
“Does that worry you? Are you mad? Should I cancel the trip?”
Am I mad? No. Worried? A little. Cancel the trip? I think the answer is no on that one as well. The nerves creep in, making me want to say yes, but I know this could be a good opportunity for us. A chance. One to start over. And despite how going back to the beach where his daughter almost died on my watch nearly a year ago makes me want to vomit all over his pretty SUV, I think this will be a good thing for us.
At least I hope it will be.
“No, don’t cancel. Let’s go.”
He lets out a relieved breath. “Good.” He nods a few times. “Good,” he repeats.
“Good.”
“We have such a way with words.”
“I do. Not sure about you though.”
“See? Sweet talkin’ me already. I knew this was going to be a good trip.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever. You hoped this would be a good trip. You’re lucky I even said yes to this surprise adventure.”
He quiets down and lowly says, “Thank you.”
I bravely reach over and grab his hand, turning it over and lacing mine with his. “We’ve got some work to do this weekend, Hudson. With ourselves, with us. I…I don’t want to give this up. And I realize now I was wrong to walk out as suddenly as I did. I should have stayed and listened to your reasons, not because I owed it to you, but because that’s what you do in a relationship. I fear I’ve let my fucked up head twist shit around, and that’s not okay.”
I pause, taking a moment to let that sink in, not only for him but for me too. That’s the first time I’ve admitted that out loud. It’s scary, but it’s truthful. I have twisted things in my mind. I’ve begun to question absolutely everything about our relationship, and that’s not fair to either of us.
“We need to heal. I think this little getaway of yours might help.”
He squeezes my hand a few times. “I sure as hell hope so.”
The ride is shorter than I remember from last time, and before I know it, we’re pulling up to the faded yellow beach house, complete with white shutters and a rackety wooden, unpainted fence. It needs a little TLC, sure, but it’s perfect.
“This place is just as beautiful as I remember.”
Hudson climbs the stairs behind me lugging our bags with him. Maura managed to sneak mine to him when Dallas was calming me down in the bathroom. Their scheme is a little irritating, but I don’t have it in me to be mad over something I desperately needed. In fact, I’m rather grateful for it. She may have pushed us but at least she pushed in the right direction—together.
We clamor through the front door and take a moment to let the house air out before we close it again. Hudson heads down the hallway toward the bedrooms.
“Wait. Joe’s not here. Does this mean we actually get the big bedroom this time?”
I take note of his use of “we.” It makes me…nervous. We haven’t slept in the same bed since the night before I walked out. While I’ve missed that, I’m also a little scared to take that big step. But if we’re playing house this weekend and attempting to mend the cracks in our relationship, we need to go big or go home.
“Huh. I suppose we do.”
He smiles at my words, and it’s one of those heart-stopping smiles. I can’t help returning it.
Hudson walks our luggage to the big bedroom and I find myself standing in front of the large French doors, mesmerized by the wavy beach that’s our backyard. The last time we were here changed our lives dramatically. I can only hope for the same this time around. If not, I feel like this could possibly be our last shot at…well, us. I don’t want that. I want forever with Hudson.
And I know how unrealistic and cheesy that sounds, but I’ve always believed that if you want something hard enough and work at it with all you’ve got, you can make it happen. That’s what I’m determined to do here.
Strong arms snake around my waist, holding me captive in a warm embrace. I lean back into Hudson, letting him hold us both up.
“I’d suggest us trying to do something romantic like cooking dinner together, but with our track records in the kitchen, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I kind of like this beach house and prefer to not see it as a pile of ashes.”
I twist a little, peeking over my shoulder at him. “I can see your faith in my cooking abilities hasn’t waned.”
He smirks. “Never.”
God, I’ve missed that smirk.
“So, dinner out?” I ask, turning back around.
“Naturally.” I feel him bend down, his lips grazing against my neck as he speaks. “Or we can order in.”
“Was that code for Supernatural and chill?”
He groans playfully and buries his head in my neck, his laughter vibrating against my body. “I love how you kno
w me.”
I laugh and turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You just love me in general.”
He looks a little surprised by my words, and I have to say, so am I. We fell back into our normal banter and routine in just a matter of moments. It’s almost as if the past year of his lies haven’t even happened, like we haven’t spent all these days apart. It feels like nothing and everything has changed. All at once. In the best way possible. I feel…lighter. I feel…forgiving. I feel ready to move on.
“This is true,” he whispers before pressing his lips against my forehead, my favorite move of his. He holds his lips there for a few seconds before he slowly begins to trail feather-light kisses down my nose and straight to my lips. He doesn’t press, he just holds his lips to mine. It’s simple and perfect.
All it takes is the unconscious act of wetting my lips, my tongue brushing against him, and he attacks. He presses his lips to mine—hard. Our mouths meld together and I open for him when I feel his tongue trace the seam of my lips. They wage war against one another. Only it’s not bloody and violent. It’s full of beauty and heart. It’s a war of love, and we’re both waving the white flag right now.
He pulls back some and I lazily open my eyes to meet his swirling green-blue gaze. The look he’s giving me is full of questions, but I know the most important one. And the answer is yes.
Yes, I want this.
Yes, I’m ready to fight for him rather than against.
Yes, I want to move on.
Yes, I forgive him.
Yes, yes, yes.
Something’s changed over the last few days. Us talking again, the last encounter we had in his office, the drive over here, the talk I had with Elle. It’s as if the moment he said we were coming here, I gave in. This place, what it represents to us, to me…it means something. It means new beginnings. And I think that’s what he had in mind the entire time. Just by being here, breathing in the salty air, surrounded by the time we saved each other and didn’t know it, things are different. Things are better. And I’m ready to do what my heart’s been screaming at me from the beginning.
This is it. Hudson is it.
I don’t need to say anything; he knows. His lips fall back to mine and his hands find my face, sweeping up into my hair, grabbing hard onto my head and pulling me into him. I grab at him, bunching his shirt into my fists. He stumbles a little when I push him backward until he reaches the couch. He falls into the sofa and I crawl onto his lap. He pulls me back to him, capturing my lips with his once again. He gently tugs at my shirt and I lift my arms, leaving me shirtless and straddling him. I can feel his dick straining against his jeans and I push down some; he pushes back. We stay like that for several minutes, grinding against one another, kissing until our lips are numb.
Breaking the kiss to peel his shirt off, he holds on to me, flipping me to my back and settling himself between my legs. We adjust ourselves until he’s back to rocking against my sweet spot and I let out a soft moan.
“I miss this,” he says, kissing at my neck, lightly biting down in just the right spots. “I missed the way you feel, those sexy noises you make, the way your eyes light up whenever you’re horny.”
“I miss you not talking during our sexy time,” I tell him, gasping when he once again hits that special spot.
He just chuckles against my neck and does it again. “Rae…”
“Hudson,” I mock. “Shut up. Take your pants off already.”
He doesn’t argue, sitting up to unbutton his jeans, pushing them off his hips and shuffling the denim down his legs.
“Really? You couldn’t just get off the couch to do that?”
“And miss annoying you? Never.”
I can’t even pretend to be annoyed by him. I’ve missed this too much. The way we work together applies to every aspect of our relationship. We can laugh and joke during sexy time and still completely feel it. So far it’s no different after our time apart.
He unbuttons my pants, pausing to arch an eyebrow at me. “Am I allowed to undress you on the couch? Or did you want us both to stand up for this?”
“Just take my damn clothes off, Hudson!”
Laughing, he complies. He peels my jeans down my legs, taking his time, enjoying me squirming beneath him just a little too much. Once we’re both down to just our underwear, Hudson pauses, his eyebrows scrunched together.
“Problem?” I question, unsure what’s made him suddenly stop.
“I…I don’t want to fuck you on the couch. It seems…wrong after everything.”
“Then take me to the bedroom and fuck me.”
He shakes his head. “I… No.”
I groan, throwing my head back into the couch cushion. “You’re such a tease!”
“This conversation seems strange. Shouldn’t, by most people’s standards, I be the one that’s begging for sex?”
“Fuck most people. They’re wrong. Women love sex just as much as men. Especially if it’s good sex. Which is what it is with you. So, let’s get this show on the road. I’m dying over here, Hudson.”
He leans down and places a tender kiss on my lips and then doesn’t move away. “I’m not fucking you, Rae. I’ll gladly bring you to whatever release it is you need right now, but I refuse to just fuck you. I want to make love to you. Sweet, slow love. Later. I want to do this right.”
His words melt through my frustration and my heart picks up its pace. Hudson’s words reach into my heart, my soul, and settle there, weighted down by the love shining so bright in his eyes. I get it. I get him.
I reach up and kiss him, slowly, seductively. “I love you.”
He stills at my words. Then he’s moving, pushing against me, bringing his hands up to cradle my head, caging me in his arms. His full weight falls onto me and I’ve never felt so complete. The feel of his lips against mine is raw and real, harsh yet gentle. It’s perfect.
That’s how we stay, tangled together on the small space kissing, talking, stroking. It’s hours of contentment, of bliss, of love.
13
Hudson
After our multiple make-out sessions and hours of relaxation, we decide it’s time to actually move off our asses and get food.
“Do you want to try the Mexican place or just burgers from that ‘World Famous’ place?”
“Burgers are fine,” Rae calls through the bathroom door adjacent to the bedroom.
I’m sitting on my bed, scrolling through my phone looking for different restaurants while she dresses and does whatever other girly shit she’s doing to get ready for dinner. It all feels…normal. And I’ve fucking missed normal.
She comes strutting out of the bathroom in a dark pair of jeans hugging her curves and a black top that slinks off one shoulder. She looks stunning as always. Glancing up at me with those dark green eyes of hers, I can see that she’s looking at this in the same way I am—a step forward. We’re both looking to move on. Not that we don’t have a lot to talk about and shit we still need to work out, but we’re agreeing to work on it. Together. That’s the most important thing right now.
“Goddamn. You’re beautiful.” Her cheeks turn a bright red, something they hardly ever do. Standing, I walk closer to her, bending slightly to place a small kiss on one of her inflamed cheeks. This makes her blush even harder.
Rae peeks up at me, her eyes sparkling. “Thank you.”
I give her a smirk. “No, thank you.”
She laughs. I fall in love just a little bit more.
“You ready?”
“I’m always ready for you,” I tease, waggling my eyebrows up and down.
“You are quite full of yourself today, huh?”
“There are other things I’d like to fill.”
“Hudson Michael Tamell! You did not just say that!”
“Oh, but I did.” I bend down closer to her, my lips brushing her ear. “And I meant it.”
Straightening back up, I move around her and out of the bedroom, smiling to myself at the sputtering I
hear from behind me. She can act all offended or surprised if she wants, but I know she’s enjoying this as much as I am.
We make our way to the car and travel the short journey to the only reputable burger joint in town. We seat ourselves and settle down to glance over the menus.
“I’m ordering two of everything and making you pay. Just for that little stunt you pulled earlier,” she says from behind her menu.
I look up and meet her eyes when she glances at me from over the top. She doesn’t have to lower the menu for me to know she’s smiling. I can see it in her gaze. I’ve missed that look.
“That’s fine. You just order whatever your little heart desires. My treat.”
She huffs at my lack of response. I’m not letting her win this game. I’m enjoying having the upper hand too much to let that happen.
The waitress comes to the table to take our drink order. She starts with Rae.
“I’ll take a large chocolate shake.” She looks over at me with a devious grin. “He’ll have one too.”
I groan. She knows I can’t handle chocolate in large amounts like that. But I let her get away with it and pretend nothing is amiss. Then she proceeds to order me a veggie burger with broccoli as my side while she gets the Bacon Bacon Bacon Burger and extra French fries. With cheese. Again, I say nothing. Because by not reacting, I’m winning. And she hates it when I win.
So, I dutifully eat my veggie burger—which is quite tasty—and pick at my broccoli with tested patience and love. She’s so close to winning with that move.
We make small talk and stare daggers at one another during the entire meal. Then, when I’m only about halfway through my meal, she declares she’s done and demands we leave instantly. I don’t argue with her. We pay and leave. I steer the car the opposite way, taking her to a small cove just up the road.
“Where are we going?”
“Didn’t we have this same conversation when I picked you up from Maura’s?”
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