“My God, Nina, you drive me completely crazy,” he whispers. I can’t really understand how he did that, since his lips never even parted from mine for a second. When I have his shirt open, he presses my body against his hard, bare torso. It isn’t until I start loosening his belt that I feel resistance.
“This is getting out of hand,” I hear him say. Frustrated, I sigh and pout my lips. “Don’t sulk, my little Stellina.”
Huh? Now he speaks Italian all of a sudden? Stellina means little star. How did he know I speak Italian? Oh, such stupid questions, Nina. He already said he knows everything about you, even though I still don’t understand how that’s possible.
He continues in Italian, “If a star is so far away, Stellina, then how come you can get so close?”
“You speak Italian?” I look at him in amazement.
“No, but I know you can and I want to learn, so that we can speak with each other. Stellina was the first word I learned, especially for you.”
“Wow, how romantic ... But why don’t you want me?” Because that really hurt, again. With tears in my eyes, I move to turn away from him, disentangling myself, and start to get up.
His movement is quick. He grabs my hand and presses it to his hard crotch. “Feel this. Feel what you are doing to me. Do you still believe this is a rejection?” He has a fierce look in his eyes, mad almost.
“I don’t understand. Then why stop me?” I’m so confused, I could cry.
“I realize this is new for you, but believe me, it’s better this way. We have all the time in the world.” He pulls me close again and gently lays us back on the bed, while I try very hard not to burst out in tears. I’ve never felt so rejected in my life, never been so confused by a man.
We lay there for a while, just like this. I don’t know what to say. He seemed, no, seems to be sure we belong together. For much more than a one-night stand.
How can he be so sure of that? I don’t understand, but it feels good. Maybe, if he believes that hard enough, that’s enough for the both of us.
BUT THAT WAS THEN AND this is now.
“How are you feeling?” I can’t help but watch those beautiful lips move.
“I feel wonderful,” I reply in my most enticing tone. I try to press my body as close to him as possible. With my nose against his neck, I take in that addictive scent of his. The one that sears itself into my brain, to remind me of him forever, I’m sure. “I only wish you weren’t wearing so many clothes.”
My hands wander around and explore his hard chest, decorated with soft, black hair. He looks me over while I do, and doesn’t stop me, which I interpret as permission to continue. I know what he said, he doesn’t want sex—no intercourse at any rate, but we’ll see how long it takes for him to crack.
My hands travel under his shirt, over his shoulders, and to his back to disconnect the fabric from his body. When I look up, I’m mesmerized by those light brown eyes that twinkle as they watch me. He sighs and strokes strands of hair from my face.
“I don’t want to be one of your random flings, Stellina.”
“There is nothing random about you, Sebastian,” I say. In the meantime, I caress the bump in his pants. It’s an impressive one, and it makes me feel good knowing I’m responsible for it. That I’m the reason he’s turned on, that he desires me and wants me, just as badly as I want him.
He grabs my chin and forces me to look him in the eyes. Then, his lips are on mine. Softly at first, then harder. His tongue explores my mouth with more and more passion, as I do the same to him. My nipples grow hard and press against his gorgeous body through the fabric of my dress.
All of a sudden, I’m under him. He rolls off me just a little, leaning on his elbow so he can take the hem of my dress between his fingers. He pulls it up quickly and I raise my arms to help him. His eyes never leave my body while he carelessly sends the dress flying to the other side of the room.
He takes his time studying my body and it makes me feel a little shy, which never happens to me. He is so close, checking me out shamelessly. No one has ever looked at me like that with such admiration in his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful, Stellina.”
His fingers push the cup of my bra down, so he can caress the hard nipple with his thumb. It gives me goose bumps and I shiver. Then he does the same thing with my other breast. Instead of his thumb, he now uses his tongue and teeth to drive me completely out of my mind with desire.
The bump in his pants has grown even bigger and is screaming for attention. I put my hand on it and try to grab hold. Big mistake. With the emphasis on big. He flicks away my hand and gives me an angry look.
“If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do this my way.” He kisses both of my breasts with a little less passion; no tongue this time. He places feather-light kisses on my belly, my belly button, and goes back up, to my neck, my ear, and my mouth.
His gaze focuses on mine as he pulls me into an upright position, so he’s on his knees right between my widespread legs.
“These pants stay on. Because the moment my dick claims your body will be a moment that you will have thought through thoroughly. I want you to make the deliberate choice to give your body to me. If you do that, you’re mine and mine alone. That will be the start of a new life, Stellina. A life without random flings, but full of adventure.”
I don’t really have a reply to this. I hear him, but his words don’t seem to get through. My mind stopped working after dick. Did he really say that out loud? His fingers press against my panties, which is really distracting, as he claims my lips again. It’s a passionate kiss that makes me even wetter. In an attempt to pull him closer, my hands weave through his hair and pull at it. He puts his hand inside my panties and I can feel his fingers rub me. An animal-like growl escapes his throat when he finds out how wet he’s made me. He penetrates me with one finger, while his palm and thumb press against me and rotate. All the while, his lips never leave mine. Who says men can’t multitask?
At that moment, my body starts leading a life of its own. When my hips start twisting all by themselves, I realize I no longer have any control over my body. It automatically starts looking for more friction, more pleasure.
“For now, it’s all about your pleasure. The pleasure that I will give you.” His lips leave mine and I miss them for a split-second, but then I hear my panties tear and I see the little piece of fabric fly across the room. Wow. That was so unnecessary ... but sexy as hell ...
He takes his time admiring my naked body. Apparently, certain parts aren’t getting enough attention, because my hips start twisting desperately, demanding. They are looking for his hands, his mouth, his rock-hard cock.
“Easy now, Stellina,” he commands. “You are giving me your magnificent body and it is a gift that I want to cherish. You deserve that I take my time with it. It is your right.”
Okay, now, seriously ... who talks that way? He needs to stop with that weird romantic stuff, because it’s fucking distracting.
In a cloud of hormones and lust, nothing really matters, except the here and now.
Now, I feel his hands travel south.
Now, my breathing becomes shallow and restless.
Now, he pushes my legs even further apart and I feel his eyes watching me.
Now, I feel so vulnerable.
I want to close my legs again and pull him towards my face, but he doesn’t allow it. He takes his time. He is in no hurry and explores my most intimate parts in utter concentration. Slowly, he makes his way down with soft little kisses.
He notices my discomfort and whispers, “Has no one ever done this to you before?” His chin rests on my belly and his eyes seek an answer in mine. The shyness I feel is completely strange to me. I have to force myself to resist his gaze.
“Yes, but never this ...”
“Never this what?”
“Never this unrushed. Never this ... examined. I feel very vulnerable right now.”
“That is how it should be. That is
intimacy. This is special. I enjoy every minute of it, and I feel honored that you trust me enough to let me do this to you, Nina. Now relax.”
Less than a second later, I feel his lips between my legs. Not like others do—quick, quick, with a lick here and there. With every fiber of his being, he presses his face against me. It’s as though he’s possessed. His tongue touches me there with a kind of aggressive abandonment, as if he’s been thirsty for a long time and finally gets a drink. He rotates with his entire face, so his mouth and tongue automatically move along with it, then adds force by biting me softly. What an extraordinary technique this man has. He’s not afraid or careful. He’s going at it so ferociously, it seems like he wants to drown in it.
I lift my hips off the bed and let out a shriek. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt someone’s mouth on that part of my body. This level of excitement, passion, and heat is something I’ve never experienced before. My moans are animal-like. We are no longer human. We are just sex. He grabs my waist and pushes me back down on the mattress.
“Sex is more than just an act. It’s an emotional experience. It is intimate and requires trust,” he whispers against my skin as he continues rubbing my clit with his thumb. “You’re naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. You’re sharing a very private moment with someone else.”
In his eyes, I find a tenderness and affection I’ve never experienced in this way. The tingly feeling between my legs grows stronger until it’s no longer a tingling, but nearly a lightning bolt. One that will soon turn into a fierce thunderstorm. It’s too much. Too much tingling. Too much lightning. Too many feelings. I grab his head on both sides and try to make him stop, but he refuses. He pins my wrists to the mattress, so I can’t move them anymore. I love the way he takes control. That he seems to know exactly what I want. He does not let himself get distracted. He has a purpose: giving me pleasure. He said so himself and now he’s showing me. Undisturbed, he continues his delicious kind of torture.
Then he lets go of me and my swollen parts get a little breathing space. He grabs me by the hips, pulls me even closer, and spreads me wide open with both of his hands. “We’re not done here yet.” His words vibrate through my sensitive flesh.
“Sebastian.” My eyelids grow heavy when his tongue suddenly reaches my clit, and he attacks as if this is his last meal. He looks hungry. I want to feed him. ‘Thank you, God!’
I try to move, but he keeps licking and devouring me. His tongue leaves no spot untasted. My hands travel back to his hair, just like his fingers find their way inside me. He fills me, and I press against his hand even harder, begging him to go faster.
“God has nothing to do with this,” I can hear his deep voice say. Normally, I would think that’s funny, but right now, that turns me on even more.
He continues his work and I feel myself grow tighter until my body starts jerking. My muscles fuse together and then the feeling becomes a necessity, growing bigger and bigger, like a bomb that is ready to explode. The silence in the room is roughly disturbed by the sounds we’re making. This is the desire I’ve been searching for all my life. Shame and decency no longer exist. I can be the sexual creature that I am. Nothing else matters anymore. What matters are him and me and this experience we are sharing. Everything inside me grows tighter and tighter, until ... boom! Everything goes wild. Everything bursts, explodes, and breaks. As the shivers slowly fade, I hear myself moan. He grunts while he keeps pleasing me through my orgasm.
When everything falls silent again and I’m catching my breath, I feel him press a kiss to the inside of my thigh and straighten. He’s hanging over me, and I don’t care where his face was just a second ago—I have to kiss him. Without hesitation, I pull his face towards me and kiss him with all my might.
He tears his lips away from me and gives me an intense look while he pulls my hair back. It’s like his brain is trying to stop, but his body is refusing to listen. I raise my hips to be closer to him and feel his growing desire through the fabric of his pants. With my hands caressing the small of his back, I pull him close and try to force him to match my movements.
“Stop, Stellina. Stop ...” I hear him say, but obviously, his body does not agree. His hips grind against me dangerously. It feels incredible, the way his body joins mine. I feel his naked torso against my nipples, his dark chest hair rubbing my skin softly. His strong arms on either side of my head suspend his body over mine, while I bite his neck.
Somehow, he manages to pull himself free. Catching his breath, he lowers himself onto me and presses his face against my chest. I don’t understand what’s going on. Why is he stopping?
I pull at his ponytail, so he’s forced to look me in the eye. He answers my inquiring look. “Like I said, Nina, you need to think this through thoroughly and make a deliberate decision. Because when I claim you with my dick, you will be mine forever.” A small kiss lands on the tip of my nose. His lips then softly caress my cheeks, my eyelids, my neck, and my mouth.
Those little kisses ... so wonderful ... and so distracting! How can I possibly think?
I decide I have absolutely no control over the situation and accept it. I relax and surrender to his loving actions. He rolls off me onto his side, softly caressing my breast with one hand, then my nipples, and up to my neck. I let myself enjoy this. It’s very intimate and feels very familiar. My thoughts are floating somewhere high up in the sky, giving me a sense of freedom. Sleep finds me again quickly. The last thing I feel are the sheets he pulls over us and a soft kiss on my forehead.
If my life were a highway, Sebastian would be the engine.
Chapter 11 - Secretive
NINA
A couple of hours later, we check out of the hotel and drive off, just Sebastian and me! It’s the weekend and we’re going to explore Munich! The perfect way for me to find out more about this mystery Adonis! To say I’m excited is an understatement.
Anita didn’t understand a thing when I texted her that I wouldn’t be driving back with her and John. She’ll get all the ins and outs later.
“DETAILS, DETAILS,” she begged me in capital letters in a text.
“To be continued :-)” I replied.
Now we’re in his rental car, an Audi—a super nice A6 coupe, to be exact. Sebastian looks delicious in his faded jeans and white T-shirt, both a perfect fit around is body. The serious CEO has made room for a mellow, relaxed guy next to me, who suddenly seems a couple of years younger than yesterday.
The car smells like a combination of his intense masculine citrus scent, and leather. Simply wonderful. I can’t sit down right away, though, because the passenger seat is strewn with various things—an umbrella, a rain poncho, a bottle of water, a small first aid kit, and a box of Band-Aids.
“You are really prepared for anything, aren’t you?” I ask, while he moves the stuff to the back seat.
“That’s right, and it’s good that you learn that about me right away. I like being in control, in every aspect of my life. Good preparation helps with that.”
What a control freak ... But quite a yummy one ...
While admiring his profile and large hands, I can’t help but wonder what kind of person he is and what his intentions are. This is unfamiliar territory for me. Nina, who hates repetition. Nina, who’s only ever looking for one-time fuck buddies. Now Nina is stuck with a fascinating man who wants more from her. Unfortunately, I don’t have more.
He notices my confusion immediately. “You have no clue, do you?” He quickly takes his eyes off the road to turn his head and look at me.
“No clue about what?” My forehead creases.
“What to do with me.” A big smile appears on his face. Apparently, this is amusing.
He’s right though. I have no clue what to do with him. Sex has always been just sex for me. Just two people looking for relief. An enjoyable, physical act. But last night felt different. It was intimate. I felt vulnerable and strong at the same time. He acted as if my body was a present, which he cherished by unwrapping w
ith great care. He thanked me for it with the most intense orgasm I have ever had.
“I’m afraid you want something from me that I just can’t give.” My honesty surprises me and I can’t bear to look at him while I talk.
He focuses on the road. “Please don’t try to analyze this so deeply, Nina. Go with the flow. Carpe diem. That’s you, isn’t it?”
“How do you know? That I always say that?”
“I know everything about you, Nina. When I want something, I go for it one hundred percent, and in order to be successful, I need to know everything. That’s the only way to ensure control.” His eyebrows dance up and down and he’s wearing a mischievous grin. His words sound pretty intense, but his tone makes them a bit lighter. Apparently, he’s proud to be a control freak ...
I should be worried now because what he says also sounds pretty stalkerish. Did he hire a private detective to spy on me? He does know an awful lot of private stuff about me. Things you wouldn’t find out just by googling me, nor by perusing my personnel file. Things only people who are close to me would know.
I have so many questions ... Where to start? I watch him and try to figure out what to ask him first. Then my gaze falls on part of a tattoo on his upper arm that pops out from under his sleeve I didn’t notice yesterday.
“Is that a tattoo?” There are about ten other questions I should be asking him first, but I blurt this one out before I know it.
“It’s a feather. It’s nothing, really. I got it when I was younger and had a tendency to do crazy stuff.” His answer is fast. The words spill out of his mouth, as if they’re rehearsed. How odd. The tattoo looks familiar though ... Where have I seen it before? I want to continue the interrogation, but then my cell rings. The display tells me it’s Anita.
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