by Penelope Sky
“You need to calm down—”
“I will not fucking calm down.”
All the other customers on the patio abandoned their meals and scattered away. Her date finally got to his feet again.
She moved to him. “Alessandro, are you alright?”
I grabbed her by the arm and yanked her back. “You’re talking to me right now.”
She twisted out of my grasp. “And you pushed him to the ground.”
“Because he was stupid enough to rush me.”
She turned back to him. “Are you alright? I’m so sorry about that—”
“You want me to call the police?” Alessandro asked calmly. “Or maybe we should just go inside.”
“You can go inside, asshole.” I hated how calm he was, how he didn’t shit his pants like other men would. He was no match for me because he was far too lean, but he didn’t scream like a girl either. This guy had potential. It made me hate him even more.
Cassini ran her fingers through her hair in distress. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea he would just show up like this—”
“Leave.” I stepped toward him, wanting him to get far away from my woman. “Now.”
He held his ground. “I’m not leaving her alone with a psychopath.”
“I’m worse than a psychopath, asshole.”
“Balto, back off,” Cassini commanded. “Now.”
Like a dog, I obeyed. I stepped back.
She turned to Alessandro. “I’m sorry, but you should go. Balto and I need to talk.”
“I can’t let this guy hurt you,” he argued.
“He would never hurt me,” she said. “He hasn’t made a very good first impression, but he’s harmless. I promise you.”
“She’s right,” I said. “If I wanted to hurt you, you would be unconscious right now.”
Alessandro stared at me for a long time before he moved away. “Call me when this is over. Just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Sure,” she said. “I’m so sorry about this…”
“It’s okay,” he said. “If I were a man who’d lost you, I’d be crazy too.” He finally walked away and left us alone.
My eyes turned back to her, back to the woman who occupied my entire heart. No other pussy had been around my dick. No other woman had kissed these lips. I’d been as devoted to her as the first night we met. Looking at her now, even when she was pissed, reminded me how much I loved her. I’d tried to fight it for so long, but I couldn’t do it anymore.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Balto, it’s not what you think…”
“I know a pregnant woman when I see one. What was your plan? To never tell me? That’s wrong, and you know it.”
She looked into my eyes, the pain obvious in her gaze. If she still loved me, she didn’t show it. She’d showed more compassion to the guy she’d been with just a minute ago. “I didn’t tell you because it’s not yours, Balto.”
All my pain disappeared because there was a bullet in my heart. I slowly came back down to earth, my eyes narrowing in surprise. When I saw her belly, I assumed I was the one responsible for making her that way.
“It’s Lucian’s…”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. “The doctor told me how far along I am. It’s not possible for you to be the father.”
Shocked, I continued to stare at her. When I first saw her belly, I felt a surge of joy. I didn’t want a family, but seeing her glowing with life was a turn-on. I imagined us going home, getting naked, and me kissing her belly everywhere. But now, everything had changed. I didn’t know what to say, so I kept looking at her.
“Why are you here? I’m guessing Heath told you about my date.”
“Yeah…he mentioned it.”
“And you got pissed off and decided to sabotage it?” She cocked an eyebrow, her disappointment sharp as a knife. “Even though nothing has changed and we still want different things? I always knew you were an asshole, but you’re something else…” She grabbed her clutch off the table then turned away. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me.”
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” She turned back around, vicious.
I held my silence, unsure what to say. Truth be told, I didn’t know what I was doing when I drove here. All I knew was I didn’t want this to happen. “I…I don’t know.”
She shook her head. “Leave me alone, Balto. I’ve met a nice guy who couldn’t care less that I’m pregnant. You don’t want to commit to me, and that’s fine. But don’t interfere with my life ever again.” She turned around again and walked away, her nude heels clapping against the concrete.
I watched her walk away, watched the way her body waddled with her movements. Lucian’s child was growing inside her, so she could never really escape him. When she looked at that child every day, she would have to think of the man who’d imprisoned her and raped her.
It wasn’t fair.
25
Cassini
I returned to my apartment, the place where I lived alone. I didn’t know what would happen with Alessandro, but I’d made sure the place was in perfect condition just in case he came over for a glass of wine. I didn’t expect to like him, but he was definitely charming.
But all of that was ruined because of Balto.
That fucking asshole.
Like a wild animal, he charged me and tried to kill my date. He ruined the evening by making me seem like a woman with a psycho ex. Finding someone new was already difficult because I was pregnant, but finding someone when a man like Balto was still keeping tabs on me was impossible.
Alessandro would never want to see me again.
Couldn’t blame him.
I was so pissed off at Balto that I didn’t care about lying to him. I looked him in the eye and said the baby wasn’t his. But since he’d crashed my date, I knew nothing had changed. He didn’t fight for me because he missed me. He only did something when he realized someone else was interested. It was pathetic and the opposite of romantic.
It was meaningless.
It was just masculine testosterone that got out of hand. He still considered me to be his woman even though he hadn’t wanted me for the last three months.
But nothing was different. I wanted him to be with me because he wanted me, because he missed me, not because he was jealous of another man. Not because he felt obligated because of the baby growing inside me.
I wanted all of him—or nothing at all.
I called Alessandro.
He answered right away, like he’d been waiting by the phone. “Are you alright, Cassini?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. We had a shouting match at the restaurant then I walked away. I’m really sorry he pushed you. I haven’t spoken to him in two months. He found out I had a date and freaked out.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” he said with a chuckle.
“I just don’t want you to think I’m in contact with him because I’m not.”
“No, I understand. I don’t blame him for being upset. I would be jealous too.”
This man was so calm, so chill. Anyone else would be throwing me aside.
“But he didn’t seem to know you were pregnant…”
“Yeah…because I didn’t tell him.”
“Well, no wonder he was pissed,” he said with a chuckle. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“I didn’t want him to be with me out of obligation. I wanted him to be with me because he wanted to be with me. He told me he never wants kids and marriage, so I don’t want him to be with us if he doesn’t really want to be there.”
“Gotcha.”
“So I told him it belonged to someone else. That should chase him off…”
Alessandro was quiet for a while. “So you still love him, but he won’t commit?”
“Basically…” I didn’t want to lie to Alessandro, not when he’d been so good to me. He deserved my honesty. “I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the tru
th. He and I have been through a lot together. Right when I thought we would be together forever, he dumped me. It’s more complicated than that, but that’s the short version of the story.”
“If that guy stormed your date like that, it’s obvious he loves you too.”
It would only be obvious when he actually said it to me. “But love isn’t enough for him.”
“What’s holding him back?”
It was a long and complicated story, one I probably shouldn’t share. “He just wants different things from life. I’ll leave it at that.”
“Alright,” he said with a chuckle. “So, should we try to have a first date again? Maybe in secret so he doesn’t find out?”
Both of my eyebrows rose. “You want to see me again?” I asked incredulously. “After my psycho ex pushed you like that? After he scared away all the customers at the restaurant?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Maybe one day that’ll be a funny story.”
I couldn’t believe this man. “I’m surprised…”
“You shouldn’t be. So, how about the same time, same place? I’m free on Saturday.”
I’d hoped Balto would ruin my date because he wanted to admit he loved me, that he would ask me to be with him, but he’d done no such thing. All he did was ruin my evening because he was selfish. I didn’t owe him anything. I didn’t even owe him the truth about his baby. “Saturday works.”
“So Balto crashed your date?” Case looked up from the cutting board in the kitchen. He sliced some fennel and prepared the pancetta.
“Alessandro told you about it?”
“He said he was attacked by a wild bear.”
I rolled my eyes. “It was so bad…”
“That guy is a piece of shit.” He sliced the bulb of the fennel then added it to the pan with the shrimp and tomato sauce. “Has a lot of nerve. And he didn’t even try to get you back. That’s just…” He shook his head. “There are no words.”
“It definitely wasn’t his finest moment. He used to protect me, risk his life for mine, and now, he’s a jealous coward.”
Case kept working on the food. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. I’m surprised Alessandro wants to see me again.”
“He’s been obsessed with you for years. He’s not going to let a baby and crazy ex get in his way.”
I smiled. “Sounds like he won’t let anything get in his way.”
“Probably not. So, do you think Balto will leave you alone now?”
I stared at the dish he was working on, remembering the way Balto’s eyes had looked when he realized I was pregnant. The vein in his forehead was about to burst from the rage. So much emotion was in his gaze, and he even pushed an innocent man to the ground. Seeing me with someone else made him irrational, so irrational he couldn’t think straight. But that still wasn’t enough for him to realize we should be together. Now that he thought I was having Lucian’s child, he would probably want nothing to do with me. “I don’t think I’ll hear from him ever again.”
26
Balto
I sat on the couch in the living room and drank my scotch right out of the bottle. I replayed yesterday in my head over and over, imagining the way she looked with that pregnant belly. Even when another man’s baby was inside her, she was fucking stunning. Those green eyes were so unique because they expressed such powerful emotions. Those lips were sexy because they were so full. Her body was different because of the baby, but her curves gave her that glow everyone always talked about.
But she was carrying Lucian’s baby.
Not my baby.
In the end, Lucian won. His legacy would continue in the form of a son or daughter. Cassini would have to provide for that child for the rest of her life, looking into their face and seeing the man who tortured her. Knowing her, she didn’t see it that way. She would love the baby no matter what.
She had a special heart.
I continued to drink, drowning in self-loathing. I hated myself for ruining her date like that. Alessandro just wanted to protect her, and I shoved him to the ground like he deserved it. I hurt men who deserved to be hurt, not innocent people like him. It was wrong—and I knew it. But he’d better not wait for an apology.
Did I make the right decision by leaving her? When she’d found out she was pregnant, I would have been with a woman who was knocked up by some other man. Could I live with that? Raise the child of my biggest enemy? Or had I made the wrong decision, judging from how miserable I was.
There wasn’t enough scotch in the world to kill this pain.
The elevator doors opened, and my brother walked inside. “You’re drinking again…great.” He sat on the coffee table like last time and took the bottle from my hand. He took a drink and set it down. “Let me guess. You made an idiot out of yourself, then came home empty-handed.”
I gave him a thumbs-up.
“Do you ever think before you do something?”
“I could ask you the same.”
“I’m not the Skull King. And I’m not in love with a woman either.”
I took the bottle back. “She’s pregnant.”
Heath’s eyes widened at the news.
“Really pregnant.”
“Shit…and she didn’t tell you?”
“I saw her on her date and marched over there to scream at her. I almost drove away because I knew it would be wrong to bother her. But when I realized she was pregnant…I lost my temper. I knocked her date to the ground and confronted her.”
“She was on a date while she was pregnant?” he asked incredulously.
“It doesn’t surprise me. She looks just as beautiful now as she did before.”
“I don’t know about that…”
“When I got in her face, she told me it wasn’t mine…” Sadness entered my tone, disappointed that she constantly had to suffer at the hands of other men. Lucian knocked her up, and now she had to raise his baby alone.
“So, it’s Lucian’s?” he asked in surprise.
I nodded then took a drink.
“Jesus…that’s terrible.”
“I don’t know why she kept it. No one would have judged her if she didn’t want to raise her rapist’s baby.”
“She probably didn’t have the heart to do it. They say once a woman is pregnant, she becomes a mother. Maybe she already felt like a mother. Besides, the baby is still half hers.”
“Yeah…too bad it isn’t mine.”
Heath looked at me, his eyebrow raised. “You wish she were having your baby? After you said you weren’t interested in kids?”
“Having my baby would be much better than having his baby, right?”
Heath shrugged. “That’s debatable.”
I glared at him.
“What? You can’t take a joke anymore?”
“I could never take a joke.”
He chuckled. “True.” He grabbed the bottle from me and took a drink. “Now what? Cassini is officially part of the past, and you can move on. Should we hit the bar or the brothel? I prefer the brothel. Expensive pussy is the best kind of pussy.”
Now that Cassini was having someone else’s kid, there was no reason for us to be together. She still had suitors who didn’t care about her pregnancy, so she wouldn’t need me soon enough. But I was still pierced by a thousand knives, still sick to my stomach. “I’m worried about her.”
“Why would she get jealous of the whores you sleep with? She’s dating someone.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
He took another drink. “Then what do you mean?”
She was swollen and pregnant, and she didn’t have a man to take care of her, to carry the groceries into the house, to help her set up the crib, to protect her from burglars in the middle of the night. If anyone wanted a quick buck, she was an easy target. She was beautiful on top of that, so they might take her too. “I’m worried about her. I don’t want her to be alone.”
“She’s got Case and Dirk.”
“It’s not
the same. If she’s protecting her baby, then who’s protecting her?”
He set the bottle down and kept staring at me. “I thought you didn’t want that to be your problem.”
I didn’t want it to be my problem. But over the last three months, she was all I ever thought about. I knew Case and Dirk would look after her, but as a single woman, she could have any man she wanted. She would pick someone worthy of her. But now I didn’t want her to be with someone worthy of her. I also didn’t want her to do this alone. The only man in the world who was strong enough to really keep her safe was me.
No one else.
“Balto?” My brother tried to get my attention when my eyes drifted away.
“I’m the only man who can keep them safe.”
“No one is after her. There’s nothing to protect her from.”
“There’s always something to protect her from. I don’t care that the baby is Lucian’s. It’s half her…so I want the baby to be safe too.”
Heath kept watching me. “What does that mean? You want to be with her?”
“I don’t think I have a choice. It’s been three months, and I’m worse now than I was when she first left. Knowing she’s pregnant and vulnerable terrifies me. I want her safe. I want both of them safe. I can’t expect another guy to do it. He’d never do as good of a job as me.”
“You want to be with her, or you want to be her guard dog? Because I can’t tell.”
I didn’t want her to be with anyone else. That much was obvious. And now that I sensed she was in trouble, I wanted to make her problems go away. I wanted to be her protector, just the way I was before. “Both.”
27
Cassini
My apartment was fully furnished, and Dirk would stop by tomorrow to baby proof the place. I still had a few months to go, but I might as well get used to the inhibition now. My living room had couches, a coffee table, and a TV mounted on the wall. I had everything I needed—thanks to my brothers for moving everything in and setting up the place.