by Adam Nemett
His daughter’s howl.
Claire Eloise Roth was born November 1, the day after Halloween. For David and Haley, it was the day the clocks reset and time started over again.
And though David can’t walk or stand, he’s sure he can fly around that hospital room, high above the bed, out of his body, out of his mind, the obliterating miracle of the moment sending him into some stratosphere, imbuing him with the strength of some mighty god or demon. He’s sure, absolutely sure, she’s his daughter. She must be. The connection is too strong. They are zeroed in. She makes him move his toes. She is a new superpower running through him.
The nurses swaddle Claire in her first cape. Haley holds the baby girl, cradling her head, and raises her up toward the ceiling. A tiny human airplane.
The little one wobbles a bit at first, shifts her hips.
And then, just like that: equilibrium.
Acknowledgments
Countless books, films, shows, articles, and comics mixed together to inspire this novel but I’d be remiss not to explicitly call out a few that directly influenced specific scenes. Consider this a list of Suggested Further Reading: Ursula K. Le Guin’s short story “Some Approaches to the Problem of the Shortage of Time,” my father Barry Nemett’s novel, Crooked Tracks, Mark Rudd’s Underground: My Life with SDS and the Weathermen, Samuel R. Delaney’s Heavenly Breakfast: An Essay on the Winter of Love, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s short story “Earth’s Holocaust,” Rick Strassman, M.D.’s DMT: The Spirit Molecule, and Rebecca Solnit’s A Paradise Built in Hell.
The Human DJ ritual is based on a collaborative musical exercise developed by the innovative music education nonprofit, MIMA Music; aspects of Mathias’s thesis are based on works by my grad school colleague Lee Pembleton, and the Princeton Dueling Society was an actual student organization cofounded by my friends Ari Samsky and Rafil Kroll-Zaidi.
Enormous thanks to my literary agent Noah Ballard at Curtis Brown, Ltd., who has an unparalleled passion for narrative and has been a tremendous editor, champion and friend throughout this entire process. My endless appreciation to you for getting this book out into the world. And hey, thanks to the agents that passed on the book, too, but still gave it a thorough read and offered helpful feedback. Thanks to everyone at The Unnamed Press, including Chris Heiser, Jaya Nicely, Nancy Tan and above all Olivia Taylor Smith, for saying Yes to this book and pushing it to be as risky and as real as it could be. Olivia, you have been a true partner from start to finish. Thanks also to Ryan Neuschafer, Laura Grafton and the team at Brilliance Audio for migrating the book to a new medium and for being so patient with me in the recording studio.
Thanks to all the folks who read drafts, provided feedback, blurbs and other helpful boosts, including Chris Beha, Clara Bingham, Mary Diaz, Tim Edmond, Eva Hagberg Fisher, Ann Garvin, Keith Gessen, Justin Goldberg, Zachary Phillips, Brian Sewell, Kayti Wingfield, Matthew Jent, Brian Deleeuw, Ann Marie Svilar Black, Liz Femiano, Virginia Wagner, and special thanks to Justin Taylor, whose body of work and whose kind decision to include my story “The Last Man,” in his anthology The Apocalypse Reader gave me the confidence to turn a piece of flash fiction into this long-ass novel.
I had the unbelievable privilege to work with some awe-inspiring teachers and professors who pushed me along when they could’ve easily brushed me aside. Thanks specifically to Richard Kalter, Elden Schneider, Chris Mihavetz, Ned Sparrow, Joyce Carol Oates, Jeffrey Stout, Cornel West, Dale Peck, Sam Lipsyte, Tom Barbash, Holly Payne, John Laskey, Leslie Carol Roberts, Gabrielle Calvocoressi, Shoshana and David Cooper, and all the artists and pseudo-parents I’ve grown up with at Maryland Institute College of Art.
I’ve never found writing to be a lonely pursuit, but it’s solitary by nature, so I consistently seek and find amazing crews of people who’ve expanded my understanding of creativity and influenced characters in this book: the guys I’ve known forever, especially Jesse, Ryan, Brooks, Andy and Greg; the characters of Terrace F. Club and Nassau Weekly; the cast and crew of The Instrument, especially Jamie and Macauley; my brothers at MIMA Music, especially Christoph, Caleb, and Trace; my brothers at the Zookjera flophouse in Pennington, especially Ajay, David, Peter, Andy, and Stu; the team at History Factory, especially Bruce and Rick; and the gentlemen of The Shack, especially Evan and Trent.
Finally, my family. Thank you, Abby Rosen, for always being there, and for introducing me to meditation, rites of passage, and the world behind the world. Thanks to Heather and Jason Dressel for taking care of me and for giving me the push I needed to get this book published. Thanks to Bruce and Geri Schirmer and Liza and Zachary Rubenoff for welcoming me into your families with so much love and support. Thanks to my grandparents, Rose and Daniel Rosen and Bobbi and Milton Nemett for defining what family should be. I still talk to you guys all the time and I’m pretty sure you’re answering back.
Thank you to my parents, Diane and Barry Nemett. You sewed my first reversible Superman/Batman cape, made me fall in love with stories, pushed me to pursue every passion and project, gave me confidence, and kept me grounded. Above all, you’ve taught me how to be a loving and supportive partner and parent. Thank you for this life. I’m really enjoying it. Thanks to my sister, Laini Nemett, my first and forever sidekick. Your talent and work ethic astound me. Thanks for always being my best sounding board, my biggest fan and my coolest friend. And thanks for finding my future brother-in-law, David Leiberman, who is undoubtedly also a superhero.
To my incredible kids, Jack and Rose. I hope you wait a while to read this book and, when you do, I hope you don’t think Daddy is insane. You’re both so hilarious and sweet and curious and creative, and I love re-experiencing life and Batman through your eyes. Nothing will ever be as important and interesting as you two. Thanks for changing my life forever, in the best possible way.
And to Kate Lynn Nemett. Thank you. From the moment I first saw you in that poetry class where you were constantly brilliant, and I was constantly eating a large sandwich, I was fascinated by you. Thanks for being my muse, my motivator, my cheerleader, my challenger, my partner in time, my heroine, for keeping me honest and making me whole. Thank you for the home we’ve built, the kids we’ve made, and the history and future we’re creating together. Thanks for being the person I think about when I’m writing. Most of all, thanks for loving me, and letting me love you. I’m so excited to discover what we do next. I’ll meet you by the rowboats.
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