by Reis Asher
He got up and wandered the house, suspecting Conrad wouldn't mind. He didn't seem like the kind of Master who cared about such things. Some liked to micro-manage everything their slaves did, but the fact that Conrad had allowed him so much freedom suggested he wasn't going to care if Avery made breakfast.
Avery looked in the fridge and put together a reasonable list of ingredients: some slightly out of date eggs, an unopened pack of bacon, and some still-slightly-frozen sausages that had been left to thaw in the fridge. A sweep of the counter revealed some bread, and Avery set to work. He hadn't cooked in a while, but a short stint as a restaurant slave in the early days had taught him enough to please several Masters. Maybe if he could sweeten the pot a little and prove his usefulness beyond sex, Conrad would keep him even after he finally gave in to temptation.
He wolfed his food down, unable to hold back on eating once he smelled the meat. Hunger had gnawed at him for days. He hoped Conrad wouldn't be angry, but the delicious bacon was well worth any beating he might have to endure. He took the other plate upstairs and opened Conrad's bedroom door.
Conrad jerked awake, staring at Avery like a frightened rabbit until he gathered his wits. "Sorry. I forgot there was someone else in the house. I'm used to living alone."
"I brought you breakfast." He waited for Conrad to sit up and rested the plate on his comforter.
Conrad proceeded to wolf the food down with a smile. "Please tell me you've eaten."
Avery knelt at the side of the bed. "I hope you're not angry, Master. The food smelled so good, I had to—"
"Good. I want you to eat. I can't afford for you to get sick, understand?"
Avery nodded.
"That came out wrong. That's not what I meant, sheesh." Conrad shook his head. "I'm sorry, Avery. I'm not good at this whole Master thing, I'm really not. I'd rather just drop the whole thing, but you seemed really uncomfortable when I tried, and I was worried it was a breach of some Circle rule or something."
"How you treat me in private is largely up to you," Avery said. "So long as you pay your Circle dues, I am yours. If you want to me to eat your shit out of the toilet, I will do that. If you want me to pick up a whip and force me to call you slave, I can do that too. You have absolute control over my destiny."
"I know," Conrad said. "It's frightening. Thinking that I hold your whole life in my hands. I never wanted this responsibility."
"If ownership is not for you, you might make a tidy profit by selling me."
"Just last night you were begging me to keep you, and now you want me to sell you? You say I'm the unusual one." Conrad regarded Avery with a quizzical expression before patting the edge of the bed, inviting Avery to sit instead of kneel. Some of Avery's hesitation drained away and he complied, his slight form barely making a dent in the hard mattress as he sat.
Avery considered his response before he opened his mouth. How much was safe to reveal to this man? "I'm afraid of becoming attached. The first time I was sold was to an old man who collected young slaves for companionship and sex. Some of those slaves were devastated when he died and they were sold on. I wasn't there all that long, and he never did much for me, but the freedom he granted them was devastating once they found harsher, crueler Masters."
"You're afraid of not being afraid? What a fucked-up endeavor this is." Conrad sighed.
"You don't want a slave. That much is painfully obvious. If you have no intention of keeping me in the long run, I'd rather you sold me on."
Conrad finished chewing his mouthful of food before he spoke again. "Is that really what you think? That I don't want you? No, Avery, that's not it at all. I want you too much."
"That's just as bad. How long before your conscience catches up with you and you realize that selling me is the only way you'll ever get a good night's sleep again?" Avery looked down at his hands.
"That ship has sailed. I could never send you off knowing what might happen. Out of sight, out of mind might work for some owners, but I'm not one of them. I would always wonder what became of you if I sent you back to the auction."
"There are other ways to get rid of slaves," Avery explained. "Private trades and sales. Not everything has to go through the Circle. You could find a Master better equipped to deal with me, one you could vet for sadistic streaks—"
Conrad let out a tiny 'heh' and shook his head. "That's the problem, isn't it, Avery? I do want to own you. I do want to possess you. I like the thought of you being mine and nobody else's. I just have no way of knowing if you're truly happy with that arrangement, and for whatever reason, that bothers me. Maybe because I like you and don't just see you as a piece of property."
"We can never be equals," Avery said. "This collar can never come off. I've accepted that fact. It's something I did to myself. You have to accept it too if you ever want to have anything more than blue balls and frustration."
"You don't frustrate me," Conrad touched Avery's cheek as he sat on the side of the bed, brushed a thumb across the stubble on his chin. "God, I could just do this all day and be content. Of course I want more, but…I'm a complicated person. As you can tell."
Avery nodded. "I've noticed. You blow hot and cold like a hairdryer."
"The moment I think I have you cracked, my doubts catch up with me and I wonder if you've told me the truth about anything. How can I know if you're just telling me what you think I want to hear?" Conrad finished up his food and set the plate down on his bedside table.
Avery shrugged. "You can't. You're just going to have to trust me."
"That's going to take time. I don't trust easily."
A silence stretched out between them. Avery felt the need to change the subject, and pondered on the things Conrad had told him in the car.
"You said you were busted for exhibitionism. You like people to watch you?" Avery asked.
"Fuck, yes. In public if possible." Conrad bit his lip. "Avery, we don't have to talk about sex. This thing…it doesn't have to be that."
"I like sex," Avery said. "Do you think I would have signed my life away without considering the fact that I'd probably become a sexual servant?"
"Is that—is that what you wanted when you signed up?" Conrad's eyes betrayed confusion but also curiosity.
"Yes. I never counted on it being as sadistic as it became, but yes. I like power play and control. I was born to submit. But everything was too safe. The scene became too much about safe-words and outs. I got bored with safe, sane, and consensual."
"The scene is obsessed with those things for good reason," Conrad pointed out.
"I know. But I needed more. The ultimate submission. One I couldn't back out of. One that wasn't safe. I got exactly what I asked for."
"What do you want from me, Avery?" Conrad asked. "It's clear you like sex, but I'm not comfortable with the consent issues at play here."
"You're not ready to fuck me. If you did it now, it would destroy you. But let me help you out. We go down to the bus stop and take a late night bus tonight. Pick a corner. Whip it out and play with yourself, and I'll watch you," Avery suggested, a shiver running down his spine as he contemplated it.
"Fuck," Conrad whispered, and Avery wondered if he was experiencing a similar response.
"You don't break your rules this way. I'm not touching you. You're touching yourself. You're not forcing me to do anything. I could just look away."
"This is a dangerous road, Avery." Conrad's voice was heavy, doubt and desire evident in his tone.
"You like it dangerous, just like me," Avery confessed. "I never would have signed my life away if I didn't. Maybe if I'd met a man like you years ago, I wouldn't have gotten mixed up in all this."
Conrad fixed him with a questioning stare. "You're really okay with watching me get off on a bus? I'm a perverted, dirty old man. We could get caught. I don't have a get out of jail free card anymore."
"The danger is half the thrill. I understand you better than you think."
"You're going to be the death of me," Co
nrad muttered.
"That's what I'm afraid of." Avery stood, scooping up the plate. "I can't help it. I want to give you what you want. For the first time in a long time, I want to please my Master because it pleases me." He closed his eyes. "This is how it was in the early days, before I had regrets. Let me serve you, Conrad. Let me do what I signed up to do, and we'll deal with the rest later."
Conrad
Conrad sat in the back of the late-night bus and watched the decrepit city streets roll by. One by one, the bus emptied out, until there were only a few drunks, stoners, and homeless men toward the front. They would ride the Loop bus all night, chatting with the driver and keeping him nicely distracted.
Conrad unzipped his pants, releasing his already-hard cock. He licked his lips and looked straight forward. He could sense Avery's eyes on his erection. He waggled it around, displaying himself, relishing the thought of doing something forbidden in plain sight. It had been years since he'd done this, stopping after the last time he'd been busted and Abby had actually threatened to leave him. Not long after, she'd taken her final hit and left the world, and he'd always secretly wondered if he'd driven her over the edge.
He chanced a look over at Avery and was pleased to see the tent in his pants and the hungry eyes on his cock. If he'd been a stranger, he would have shot his best come hither glance and maybe gotten a blowjob, but Avery was no stranger, and they had a deal. No touching. Not until he could find some peace with it. Avery had been right when he'd said having sex now would destroy Conrad. But this—this he could do.
He slowly played with his cock, displaying his shaft to Avery as he gently stroked. Avery bit his lip, obviously flustered, and it turned him on. Even if Avery was acting, it was convincing enough that he could buy into the fantasy.
The bus stopped. A drunk man got on and started to head towards the back of the bus. Conrad went to tuck himself away, but Avery shook his head no. Conrad experienced a shiver of danger and delight travel up his spine as the man sat in front of Avery.
Go on, Avery motioned, and Conrad resumed, a little self-conscious now that the stranger was nearby. A tiny gasp escaped. He bit his lip to stifle it, but it was too late. The man looked over from the corner of his eye and his mouth turned upward. Conrad's cock leaked. It had been so long since he'd had a captive audience, and now two men were watching his private show. He took his cock back in hand and caressed it, taking his time to enjoy being the center of attention. He imagined going to Avery and sitting on his lap. Avery would free his own cock and fuck him right there.
Maybe someday, if they ever breached the wall that stood between them.
The man stood up, a sizable erection tenting in his pants. He sat next to Avery and reached over to fondle his hard cock. Conrad experienced a pang of jealousy as Avery looked at him, silently asking for permission.
"No," Conrad hissed beneath his breath. "He's mine."
The man stood up and nodded. He went to sit in the middle of the bus and put his headphones on. Conrad looked over just in time to see Avery's cock twitch. So he liked being possessed. That response from his body wasn't acting, nor was the stain on the front of his pants from his leaking cock. Conrad tried to hold back, but the sight of Avery, hot and hard just for him, was altogether too much. He came, staining the floor with jets of semen as he stifled a cry that would have alerted the entire bus.
They got off at the next stop, laughing in the rain as the bus drove away. For a moment, Conrad imagined they were equals, partners, and then forced himself to put the thought away. That much could never be true, no matter how much he wanted it. And yet his heart felt as light as air, even while it pounded in his chest from the adrenaline rush.
"I thought you were going to shoot into the next seat," Avery said. "Christ, I've never seen anyone come that much."
"It was your fault. Hard and leaking just for me. Your cock twitching when I told that guy you were mine."
"Now do you believe I wanted this?" Avery asked. "I'm gonna need a cold shower when we get home."
Conrad grinned, his horny thoughts overriding his common sense. "Take a hot one and jerk yourself off. Leave the bathroom door open and don't stifle your moans."
Avery regarded him with a skeptical expression. "Can you hold back? I don't want you to have regrets later on."
"Even if…this is all we can have, I don't want it to end," Conrad explained. "So yes, to answer your question, I can exercise some self-control."
*~*~*
It was harder than he thought in the end.
Conrad sat on the stairs and listened to Avery's delicious moans coming from the bathroom as he pleasured himself, and it was all he could do not to go in and beg for Avery's touch. Only the thought of losing him held Conrad back.
They were moving in dangerous circles, drawing closer to one another with the threat of ruin right behind them. Conrad was doomed. There was no way he could resist Avery's allure forever. Something about Avery drew him in like a fly to honey, and he was joyfully, happily trapped.
He finished right before Avery's cries indicated he'd reached climax. Guilt raced through Conrad's veins, and he went back downstairs and cleaned up before Avery knew he was even there.
Avery
It had to happen sooner or later, and Avery knew it. Just as they were settling into a careful, cautious routine, circling another like two wolves, a third, larger predator entered their lives by way of the front door. One that had the power to shame Conrad into selling him.
Christina.
Conrad's daughter was smaller than Avery had anticipated. She barely looked twenty, let alone the twenty-five she actually was. There was a twinkle of innocence in her eyes that seemed wrong for someone investigating an organization as grim and seedy as the Circle.
They'd not spoken about their plans prior to Christina's unannounced visit, and so when Conrad opened the door, he was completely unprepared for the young woman who pushed past him and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Avery. Her eyes instantly came to rest on the collar around his throat, and they widened.
"What the fuck…Dad?" Christina turned to Conrad, all fire and fury. "You bought a slave? You give money to the Circle? You fiend! You fucking fiend!"
"Calm down!" It was Avery who stepped forward and pulled her back from beating on her father's chest with her fists. Conrad stood in one spot and looked down at his shoes, having the good grace to look utterly ashamed of himself.
"I didn't mean to…" Conrad protested. "It was an accident, I swear to God."
Christina tore herself from Avery's grip and rounded on Conrad. "You just happened to trip and purchase a human being for cash? Explain. You have ten seconds to come up with a damn good explanation, or I'm walking out of this house and never coming back."
"I went to the auction to help you, Christina. I paid dues to the Circle in hopes I could get in and see what was going on—save you the risks of investigative work. You'd stand out like a sore thumb in there. It had to be me. I was right: nobody paid any mind to a beat up ex-cop who wanted an unsellable slave."
"Why? How?" Christina asked.
"They were going to kill him, Christina. There were snuff peddlers and organ dealers there with eyes on a cheap buy. Christ, child, he was two hundred fucking dollars, and so yes, I broke down and I paid for a human life. I'm not proud of it, but I'm glad he's not dead."
"Hi," Avery said, waving awkwardly. "I'm Avery. Nice to meet you."
Christina circled Avery. He shriveled beneath her penetrating stare, feeling his soul laid bare before her. "Have you taken him to a Circle doctor yet for a check-up?"
"No," Conrad admitted. "I don't know the procedure…"
"Did you expect to book him in with your family doctor, Dad? How exactly do you plan to explain the collar that won't come off, or the legions of diseases a two-hundred dollar slave no doubt has?" Christina's expression fell. "Sorry, Avery."
"It's—It's okay."
"It's not okay. None of this is okay. Dad, w
e need to talk. In the kitchen. If you don't mind." Christina ushered Conrad away, leaving Avery alone in the sitting room as the door closed. He could hear low, angry voices behind the door and let out a long sigh. An exhausted sense of resignation settled over him, and he crushed the glimmer of hope that this could perhaps be home for a while.
Avery thought about turning the television on to drown out the conversation, but he was still leery about touching Conrad's possessions. In the early days, he'd endured beatings for assuming anything about a Master, and those who'd seemed kind at first had often turned out to have hard limits that were easy to transgress. He didn't want to test Conrad's patience while he was already under stress.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door to the kitchen opened and Christina emerged with a downcast and shame-faced Conrad in tow. Avery wondered if he'd spilled about their encounter on the bus, but he doubted Conrad would talk about sexual encounters with his daughter. He was too shy about his kink to let others know, even though his arrests for exhibitionism had to be a part of the public record.
"I'll be going now," Christina announced. "I'm sorry we couldn't meet in better circumstances, Avery." Avery only nodded in acknowledgement and kept his head down. Something about the way her presence filled the room made him nervous and uncomfortable, and he fell into old patterns of servitude and submission, kneeling on the floor. He let out the breath he'd been holding when the front door closed and the engine noises of her car faded away.
"She's quite a woman, isn't she? I suppose she must have gotten her headstrong nature from her mother." Conrad brushed his hand back through his hair. "Don't look at me like that, Avery. She wasn't wrong to yell at me. She's right—I've been neglectful of you and that needs to stop."
"A Circle doctor won't be cheap, Master."
Conrad wrinkled his nose. "I know it's hard for you to break old habits, but I'd really rather you try to call me Conrad."
"I'll try when we're at home, but among Circle members there are rules you need to follow. We can't stroll into that doctor's office as equals. At best, other Masters will mock and ridicule you. At worst, we'll draw attention from the Circle. They've worked hard to create a world where some people are lesser than others. Any whiff of freedom that comes too close to their nose will invite unwanted attention."