by Tharp, Emma
She's in a pair of shorts that show a blissful amount of her smooth, shapely legs. Her form-fitting tank top reads, “I wish every day was taco Tuesday”. She pulls her chin up when she sees me and says, "Hi. Sorry to bother you."
I get out of the way of the door and gesture for her to come in. "You aren’t bothering me. You saved me from unpacking."
She steps just inside the door, pale green eyes assessing the mess of boxes strewn about. "Would you happen to have a hammer? I'd like to hang a few things on my walls and I don't have one." Despite the fact that her shoulders are back and she’s still wearing the air of confidence she had the night of my party, the tone of her voice conveys hints of her old shyness.
"Come in and have a seat. I definitely have a hammer, it's just a question of where it might be."
She sits down on the edge of my couch and crosses her legs. "Thank you."
I make my way toward a box that I know doesn’t have the hammer, just to give me a few more minutes with her. "It was really great to see you at my party. It's been a long time."
She crosses her arms in front of her chest. "You were in New York. I was in Pennsylvania. We were living our lives."
I move to the next box and start searching through it. Again, I know the hammer isn’t in here. "True. How was everything in Pittsburgh?"
"It was great."
I take a moment to look up at her, but her expression is difficult for me to read. There’s a small pinch between her eyebrows and her eyes don’t have the gleam they used to when she’d tell me about something she loved. She’s so closed off. I risk getting up to sit next to her. "I should've kept in touch."
She glances away from me to the bare walls of my condo. When she looks back there’s sadness etched in her features. "You hurt me."
Her words are like a knife to my fucking heart. "I’m so sorry. You didn't deserve that.”
Her eyes narrow until they’re small slits. "You're right. I didn't."
I move in closer and lay my hand gently on her warm thigh. She quickly removes it and scoots farther away from me. "I was a young cocky asshole. I can admit that. And we were friends. I shouldn't have let it get as far as it did. I got caught up in the moment and didn't know how to stop it."
Her shoulders hunch forward and she looks down at her clasped hands in her lap. "That isn't all your fault. I was caught up, too. I should've known better than to let it get that far. But I didn't think that you would drop me off afterward and never reach out again."
Visions of that night start to play in my head. We were at a party and both of us had had a few drinks. We started to kiss and touch each other, and ended up in someone's bedroom. We had sex that night. It was hot and intense, but I never should've gone there with her. We were friends and had never crossed the line before. Afterward, I took her home, dropped her off, and the next day I left for Clarkson.
I shift my body toward her and look her straight in the eye. "I thought you regretted it, too. You didn't reach out to me either."
She lets out a harsh laugh, but there's no humor in it. "I didn't think you'd want to talk to me."
There were so many days that I almost called her when I first got to Clarkson. I wanted to know if she was okay. But it felt so strange to have crossed that line with her. Especially when she was so quiet afterward. I was afraid she regretted it and that I ruined our friendship. And as the days passed, and she didn’t reach out, I kept myself busy and told myself it’d be best to give her space. What a stupid idea that was. "We were so close. I considered you one of my best friends. I should've reached out. I really am sorry." I lightly graze my fingertip against the edge of her thigh. "Let me make it up to you."
She doesn't move my hand this time and a tear glides down her cheek. Lifting my hand, I wipe it away. She leans into my touch and memories of the good times come flooding back. I missed Lora and her friendship, but now my heart beats faster when she’s around. I inch my forehead closer to hers until we’re resting our heads against each other. She stares at me, our gazes lock, and it’s like an invisible current sparks to life between us. Her breath hitches and her light feminine scent is all around me.
Swept up in the moment, I cup her cheeks in my hands and guide her lips to mine. I tell myself I’m going to take it slow, and measure her reaction. If it’s too much, I’ll stop. But from the instant my tongue glides along hers, it's as if fireworks spark inside me. Any question of whether she’s still attracted to me is erased by the intensity with which she returns the kiss. Her hot mouth against mine and the tangle of our tongues has blood pumping fast through my body.
Her arms twine around my neck and her fingers play with the back of my hair. A low growl escapes me and I deepen the kiss. For a moment I hesitate, pulling back. I look at her, taking in her heavy-lidded eyes so full of lust. We're both panting. Could she want more? Or is this too soon?
It's as if a light bulb goes off in her mind. She stands abruptly and says, "I gotta go."
“Wait, Lora.” I get up, but I’m disoriented.
She doesn’t turn around when I call her name, and just like that she's storming out of my apartment and slamming the door behind her.
Four
Loralei
Rushing through my door, I close it behind me and lean against it, still panting from that kiss. What the hell was I thinking? I knew it was a huge mistake when I walked to his apartment door and knocked on it. I never should've gone there. I did need a hammer, but I could've gone tomorrow and bought my own.
My body is still hot and shaking from the kiss. It lit me up from the inside. As much as I try to deny it, I still want Nick after all of these years. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. He broke my heart and I let him do it. I’m smarter now and should know better.
It was also a mistake to go home with Mark from the bar the other night. He was terrible in bed, so selfish. I didn't even finish. Now that I kissed Nick, I remember how hot the sex was with him that night.
We were at someone's going away party. I can't even remember who it was. I only had a slight buzz, but I can still remember how excited I was when Nick finally kissed me. I’d been waiting for it for years. Every cell in my body was supercharged and turned on, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I didn't even care when he took me into someone's room that was so messy with clothes and old food boxes strewn all over the place. I couldn't get my clothes off fast enough. Every touch, every kiss felt like magic and when we had sex, he made me orgasm over and over again.
When he drove me home and dropped me off in front of my house my heart went from complete elation to absolute heartbreak. He had said, "We can't do this. I'm leaving town tomorrow morning.”
"I know," I said and got out of his car and slammed the door behind me. Once inside, I cried my eyes out all night long.
There's no way I can let him get to me again. My heart was so broken that I gave it away to Tyler, my ex, the first guy to show me attention. That was a colossal mistake and I won't do it again.
* * *
My first couple of weeks of work are chaotic and hectic and I love every second of it. The small team I’m working with all get along well—so far, we’re communicating with each other and we all seem to have a collaborative spirit. I’m happy, exhausted, but ready to let off some steam.
I'm on my way to a wine bar to meet Lake tonight for drinks.
It's a Friday evening, and as expected the bar is pretty packed. Its location and decor make it a hotspot for young professionals to mingle. Lake is sitting at a high-top table with two chairs and two glasses of wine. She's also got a small charcuterie board in front of her. Wine and cheese, my favorite two food groups—my stomach growls.
Lake notices me and jumps out of her seat and comes up to me, putting her arms around me. "It's so good to see you."
"Same." It's been a hectic couple of weeks with just starting my job. This is the first night that I've had the energy and the desire to go out. I pull out one of the chairs and take
a seat. Not wasting a single second, I have a sip of the red wine.
"How's the new job? I can’t wait to hear all about it," Lake says and pops a piece of white cheese in her mouth.
"It's amazing. I work with great people, and my boss is young and hip and open to new ideas. It's such a cool place that encourages everyone's creativity,” I tell her with a huge smile on my face. I'm absolutely beaming that I got this job at one of the top software engineering firms in the country. It's exactly what I needed to get out of the rut I've been in after Tyler and I broke up.
"That sounds fantastic. Any hot guys?" Now her eyes light up.
"Oh, no. No way." There is one guy who’s very attractive, but I'd never cross that line. Nor would I set her up with him. There's no way I'm going to make things awkward at my new job.
She gives me a casual shrug of her shoulders and rolls a piece of salami up and takes a bite. "Well, that's too bad. You never did tell me how things ended up with you and Mark. Wasn't that his name, the guy from a couple of weeks ago that you left the bar with?"
I roll my eyes so hard it makes my head hurt. "That was a mistake. He definitely wasn't as cute when we got to his apartment. And he was terrible in the sack." All I can remember is the awful disappointment I felt as I crawled out of his bed, put my clothes back on, and did the walk of shame to go home.
She has the gall to laugh. It is kind of funny, but I was hoping she would have sympathy. "I told you it wasn't a good idea."
I take a piece of cheese off my plate and toss it at her. It doesn't hit her, but lands on the floor next to her. This causes us both to laugh. She was right. I don’t normally pick guys up in bars and take them home, but that night, I wanted to pretend I wasn’t me for a short time. The woman who spent almost three years with the wrong man. But enough of these sad thoughts.
"Let's change the subject. What about you? When do you get to go in and set up your classroom?" Talking about work seems like a better plan for the moment and she was just hired at a local elementary school.
Her lips curl into a smile. "I can go in next month. I really can't wait, but I'm going to enjoy this summer fully and completely. Let's let loose tonight."
"Now that sounds like a plan." I take several sips and enjoy how thoroughly the red wine calms me.
We chat about ideas for summer getaways, books we want to read, and concerts we’d like to see and before I know it several hours have passed. When we’re halfway through our second bottle of wine, I see him walk in. My heart begins to race and my palms start to sweat. I wipe them on my skirt but it doesn't seem to help. "Nick is here," I tell Lake.
Swinging around, her red hair cascades behind her as she looks toward the door. When she turns back to look at me her mouth is open wide. "He looks exactly the same."
"Yes, he does." I don't add that he kisses the same as well. Nick's eyes find mine and heat rises up my cheeks. I hate that he has this effect on me.
He starts walking in our direction and comes up to our table. "Hey, ladies. It's good to see you both."
Lake jumps down off her chair and throws her arms around his neck. It feels like forever, but when they finally pull away from their hug, Lake gives him a big kiss on the cheek. We are all long-time friends. She just never harbored a long-standing crush on him like I did. "Congratulations! Sorry I didn't make it to your party. Loralei tells me it was great."
Emptying my glass, I lift the bottle and refill it until it is almost completely full and set it in front of me. "Hi, Nick."
The heat from his gaze shoots straight through me and I can feel it all the way through my body adding to my already fuzzy head from the wine.
He cocks his head ever so slightly to the side. "Are you okay, Lora?" He’s one of the only people who calls me that. The intimacy of it tugs at my heart.
"I'm fine,” I say rather loudly with a slight slur, and I cringe.
Nick glances to Lake and she returns it. I don't like the look they share. It feels judgmental and parental at the same time.
Scraping my barstool across the floor, I stand abruptly and announce, "I'm going to the bathroom." I stumble slightly, right myself, and head across the room as quickly as I can. Once inside, I splash some water on my face and stare at myself in the mirror. Damn. I have definitely had too much to drink. Only water for me for the rest of the night.
I make my way back out to the bar area secretly hoping Nick has left. No such luck. He's standing there staring at me as I get closer to him. Paying extra attention to putting one foot in front of the other, I focus on maintaining what’s left of my equilibrium. "I'm going to get some water from the bar, does anyone need anything?"
"No, we have plenty of wine. I'm good.” Lake lifts the bottle to show me.
"I can take you home if you need a ride," Nick says in a sweet tone.
"The night is just beginning. I'm fine," I say again. Even though I'm really not. I don't normally like to get this drunk, but the wine hit me all at once.
Ordering a large ice water from the bartender, I take it from him and have a few sips. If only it would sober me up. No such luck—the room seems to be tilted on its axis.
On the way back to my seat, I nearly trip over something and barely right myself before I fall.
"Whoa, are you okay?" Nick asks with his hands up ready to grab me.
Shaking my head, I say, "No, there was something on the floor. I must've tripped." Taking my seat, the room spins a little and I close my eyes tightly.
A warm hand rests on my shoulder and Nick whispers in my ear, "You're looking a little pale."
"Maybe we should call it a night." I look up to find Lake’s eyes slightly glassed over and full of concern.
This might be the best idea; I certainly don't need more to drink and I don't like how much the room is spinning. This could end badly.
"I think I'll take you up on your offer, Nick. Do you mind driving me home?"
"Me, too?" Lake asks.
"I've got you, ladies." Nick sticks his hands out for both of us to take. Lake quickly grabs one. I hesitate, but not for long, because walking in these heels is getting trickier by the second. He leads us to his car and helps me in the passenger seat, while Lake sits in the back.
After a somewhat bumpy and nauseating ride, Nick drops Lake off at her apartment. It's only a few miles away from ours and thankfully the ride isn't long.
Getting out of the car, my legs feel like Jell-O.
Rushing over to my side of the car, Nick puts his arm around my waist and I put mine around his shoulders. "Let's take this walk nice and slow, shall we?" He gives me a small smirk.
I wish I hadn't had that last glass of wine. "Thank you. I think I had a little bit too much to drink."
"It's not a problem. We've all been there." Nick leads me toward the elevators and pushes the button to go to our floor.
"It's been a really long time for me." I'm typically more restrained when it comes to drinking. Tyler and I never went out to bars. He always accused me of flirting with someone and we’d fight and go home. It was easier to stay in and not deal with the argument.
The ride up is a silent one. I'm not sure what to say. My cheeks heat just thinking about the kiss we shared a couple of weeks ago and how I stormed out of his apartment.
When we get to our floor, still arm in arm, we walk to my place. I dig my keys out of my purse and open the door. "Thank you."
"Come on. I'm going to help you in and make sure you get yourself situated before I leave." There's a protective note to his tone, and that combined with the feel of his strong arm around me stirs up butterflies in my belly.
We go inside and I put my purse down on the kitchen table and take my heels off, steadying myself on the counter. Nick is right there next to me, making sure I don't fall flat on my face. "About the other night." The words fly out of my mouth before I even have a chance to think. Why am I bringing it up? I really am drunk.
"Yeah, you ran out of my apartment like the place was on fire," Nick
says and takes another step closer, gently pushing a piece of my hair off my face.
The sensation is like a jolt of electricity. I can smell his clean scent, just a hint of his spicy cologne. Taking a step closer to him, my pulse pounds and I lift my hand to his chest. All I can think about, all I want, is to have Nick again. My lips are on his and it's slow and sweet, but it's not enough. My tongue presses into his mouth and he returns the kiss, igniting a flame deep in my belly. My hands find the hem of his shirt and tug at it, attempting to pull it over his head.
"Wait, Lora," he says breathlessly.
My eyes fly open to find him staring at me with a combination of lust and concern. "What's wrong?"
"Not like this." He grabs my hand and walks me toward the bedroom. "Let's get you to bed."
"But I want to be with you tonight." My voice sounds small and I'm slurring worse now than I was earlier.
"You’ve had too much to drink tonight. I'm not going to take advantage of that. The next time we're together, we're both going to be sober and we aren’t going to regret it. Put on your pajamas and I'm going to get you some water.”
I hang my head and tears of disappointment stream down my cheeks. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. I don't want him to see me cry. Tugging my dress over my head, I do as Nick asks and put my pajamas on.
He returns a minute later and sets a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofen on my nightstand. "Come on, let's get you in bed."
My heart feels defeated, but my body can't wait to oblige. He pulls back the covers for me and I lie down. He pulls the blanket up under my chin and kisses my forehead and then my lips, softly and gently. "If you need me, don't hesitate to give me a call. I left my phone number in your contacts." He brushes his thumb across my cheek. “Don't worry. We're going to have a do-over and it's going to be amazing." That’s the last thing I hear before I fall asleep.
Five
Nick