by Tharp, Emma
"You really thought this through?” Her tone softens.
"It's all I’ve thought about. Especially when I was laid up for weeks. It gives you a lot of time to soul search." I grab a throw pillow and diligently pick at the corner. "He makes me happy."
"For now."
My stomach fills with dread. I worry about that, too. I’m conflicted. What if I give him my heart only to have him crush it again? Maybe she’s right. But, what if she's wrong?
"Dad's not going to be happy,” she chides.
I sit up straighter. "So…maybe we don't tell him."
Eleven
Nick
We clink our champagne glasses together. "To being off crutches," I toast Lora. Tonight is a celebration. And not only because she can walk around without the burden of crutches, but because we've taken our relationship to the next level.
Lora takes a sip and sets her glass in front of her. "It feels so good to walk around without those things. And I'm not sure I’ve thanked you enough for helping me out this past month. My parents have been way too busy and I really did need someone. So, thanks." She smirks and looks down at her menu.
I grab her cool hand and stroke my thumb over her knuckles. "It was my pleasure. I like taking care of you."
She looks up at me through her lashes. "I'm so thankful."
There’s a light pink tinge to her cheeks that tells me it's still difficult for her to let her guard down with me, but she has been little by little and it's been nice. I want to go deeper with her. I need it.
I know what I'm about to ask might have her shutting down on me, but I have to do it anyway. It's been on my mind ever since my mother brought it up, but I haven't felt comfortable enough to talk to her about it. "Do you mind me asking about your past?"
She looks at me, eyes boring through me. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Yes.” I don’t even hesitate.
She chews on the corner of her lip and takes a deep breath in and out. "If that's what you want."
Good. I realize this might be dangerous territory, but I can’t go another day without hearing the truth. My mind goes around in circles wondering what this guy could’ve done to her. I need to hear the truth so my brain can rest. "It's about your ex. My mother mentioned that things didn't go well with him. I’d appreciate you sharing with me anything about that time. I won't hold it against you. But since we’re growing closer, I want to know everything about you and what happened to you while you were away at college.”
The waitress stops by our table and takes our order and Lora breathes a sigh of relief. She goes with chicken limón and I order the chicken françois.
When the waitress leaves, Lora rests her elbows on the table. "This isn't going to be easy for me to talk about. But if it's important for you to hear, then I'm willing to share."
Her hand is still in mine and I give it a reassuring squeeze. "Yes, please."
Her shoulders hunch in and the vulnerability on her features makes me want to take back my request, but my damn curiosity keeps me quiet.
"I'm not telling you this to try and rub in what happened between us before we left for college, but that is where it started."
My heart takes a nosedive. "Okay."
"When I got to school, I was very hurt. I cried frequently and called my sister for support. One evening, my roommate talked me into going out with her. Tyler was at the bar and he noticed me right away. He started paying attention to me and he said all of the right things." She rubs her lips together and they form a thin line. "I gave him my number when he asked for it, but it took a couple of months before I actually agreed to go on a date with him. He made it easy for me to fall for him. He checked off all of the boxes. At the end of my first year, I moved in with him."
My gut starts to churn and I know this is only the beginning. The hurt in her eyes is painful to see. This guy was a grade-A asshole. "You were really in love with him?"
"I thought I was. And moving in together sounded like the right idea at the time. But that's when things started to go wrong." There's a stressed edge to her tone.
A chill runs down my spine. "If this is getting too painful, you can stop. I don't want to force you to have this conversation.”
She shakes her head and rubs at the back of her neck. “No. It's okay. Tyler became very controlling as soon as we moved in together. The few friends I did have, he didn't like, and eventually I didn't have anyone else except for him. He recommended that I start working out to relieve stress, so I did and I lost weight. He didn't like that so he told me I should stop working out. Which of course I didn't do, but that only upset him and he started trying to control the type of clothes I wore."
"What a bastard," I growl. I open and close my fist under the table.
"I know." Her voice sounds weak and defeated. "I stood by him because he made me feel like he was the only person there who would ever want me. At the beginning of my third year, I tried to break things off. That seemed to wake him up and he started treating me better. He even bought me a ring and asked me to marry him. I believed that he had changed and that marrying him would be a good idea. Of course, it wasn’t. His true colors shined bright once again. When there was six months left of school, I broke it off, the engagement and our relationship. He didn't take it well. He cornered me and shouted in my face, but he didn't hit me."
I blow out a long breath of air that I didn't even realize I was holding. "Even though things didn't get physical with him, he was still abusive. You realize that, don't you?”
She nods. "Yes, I do. Moving back home was the best thing I could have done. Tyler and I were supposed to move together after graduation to Dallas, where he’s from. Deep down I know I never would've let that happen."
I stare into her emerald green eyes and pour everything I believe into my next statement. "That's fucking terrible. And I know I had something to do with that, I’m so sorry, Lora."
"No. Don't do that. You can't take responsibility for all of it. Even with everything that happened, I still might have ended up with Tyler. Yes, he is horrible and I wasted several years of my life with him, but I feel stronger now because of what I went through."
The waitress brings our salads and sets them in front of us. Her presence cuts the tension, somehow pulling us out of the heavy conversation, and our shoulders seem to relax, even if only marginally.
“Is there anything you’d like to share about your time away? Any women you were serious about?” Her keen eyes look into mine like it’s possible for her to see through me.
I wasn’t going to bring up Jill. She doesn’t matter to me anymore, but she did hurt me. And Lora’s been so forthcoming, I want to be open with her. “There was one woman. I thought I loved her, but she cheated on me. I…” I clear my throat. “Caught her in the act. With one of my roommates.”
She clutches her chest. “That’s unconscionable.”
“It was. I was hurt and angry for a long time. Needless to say, I broke things off with her and punched the guy. He moved out the next day.” Visions of that asshole screwing Jill doggie-style in my own apartment still haunt me. Sure, I’m over it now, but it gets to me if I think about it. Betrayal is like a pebble in your shoe; you can forget about it, but it’s still uncomfortable if it gets underfoot.
“Wow. I’m sorry that happened to you. The woman must’ve been a fool.”
“That’s one word to describe her. But we really don’t have to talk about her anymore. She doesn’t deserve another minute of our mental energy.” I take a bite of salad in my mouth, looking forward to a change in topic.
Lora shifts in her chair, looking more uncomfortable than she was moments ago. "I have something to tell you."
“What is it?” I ask.
“Meg is in town."
"Okay." I don't know why she's acting like this could be a problem. I love her sister Megan. She is Lora's best friend.
"I told her everything about what happened between us before. She was the only on
e I was able to open up to about it. She's really upset with you and unfortunately, she holds a grudge. Oh, and she told my dad."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can feel the blood draining from my head down to my feet. This isn’t good. "I see." Lora's dad, Cole, is a good man, but very closed-off and fiercely protective of his daughters. And Lora has such deep respect for her parents. Having Cole think poorly of me doesn't bode well for our relationship. Not to mention, being on her sister's shit list.
"So, we're going to have to keep a lid on this. Whatever this is." Lora gestures between us.
"This isn't just a fling for me. I want more with you,” I tell her. And I sure as hell don’t want to keep it a secret.
"My dad isn't forgiving and Meg takes after him. It could be a problem." Lora pushes the food around her bowl, but doesn't eat any of it.
I shove my sleeves up. "I'll just have to win them over. I'm ready." And I mean it. I will do anything to make this right.
She sets her fork down and pushes her bowl away. "It's not that easy."
"Does your mother know?" She has never acted any different toward me. She’s the one that called me down to take care of Lora when she sprained her ankle.
"No. I begged Meg and Dad not to tell her because I didn't want to ruin her friendship with your mother. They’re dear friends."
Even if it’s small, it’s a relief. "Oh, okay."
Things just got a hell of a lot more complicated.
Twelve
Nick
My heart hammers in my chest and my body is still pumping with all the adrenaline from tonight. All the guys whoop and cheer and tap our shot glasses together.
"First game of the season and we won!" Michael yells above the chaos.
"We killed them!" someone hollers, but I can't tell who it is.
Almost everyone from the team is at the after-party at a club downtown.
I slam my shot and set the glass on the bar. Who knows what that just was, but it's strong and smooth as it goes down.
Looking at all of my teammates full of pride and joy makes me excited for the rest of the season. But, as the exhilaration eases, I can't help the letdown I feel at not having my girl here to celebrate. Her sister’s in town, so I doubt she even watched the game. The disappointment tastes bitter in the back of my throat.
My stomach turns. The smell of too much perfume is almost stifling in the lounge upstairs. There are women of every size and shape dressed to the nines—puck bunnies—looking to hook up with an NHL player.
I order a beer and lean back on the bar.
Michael makes his way over to me. "There's a bunch of hotties here."
"Get used to it, rookies," Harrison, a forward on the team, says. He's been in the league for five years. "All they want is meaningless sex. Sucks to be us." He laughs and smacks me on the back.
I shake my head. It does suck to be me. The only woman I want isn’t here. Who knows where she is?
"Nothing wrong with that,” Michael says, a devilish grin on his face.
"I've got someone I care about." All I can see amongst the crowd of estrogen is Lora's face.
"Who?" Michael asks.
"The woman down the hallway of my apartment building. Do you remember her? Her name is Lora."
Michael takes a drink from his glass of clear liquid and his eyebrows raise. "She's talking to you now? She didn't seem like she wanted to when I met her. She actually acted like you were on fire and she couldn’t get away from you fast enough."
Heat spreads through my body. Yeah, she likes to talk to me now and do a whole hell of a lot more. "We're getting along great now. I just have to win over her family."
Michael's eyes narrow in on a short blonde. "Shouldn’t be hard. You’re a good guy."
"But I wasn't always. I fucked up. Big time." And I regret it every single day.
"You'll figure it out."
As if it were that easy, especially since Lora told me that her sister and dad both like to hold grudges. But I’m going to do my damnedest to try. "Nobody special for you?" I'm assuming the answer is no, the way he's scoping out his next prospect.
He shakes his head. "No. I'm nowhere near ready to be serious with anyone. I want to live a little." Just then he gets propositioned by the same woman he's been eyeing.
I lean in and whisper in his ear, "Have fun living a little."
Finishing my drink, I hang out with my team. What I really want is to see Lora. I stay at the club long enough to see my friends let loose and to start getting a buzz. Making my way out of the bar, it’s a welcome reprieve from the unpleasant smell of cheap perfume and desperation, and I give Lora a call.
"Hi," I say. My voice only has a slight slur.
"Just a sec,” she whispers into the phone and I hear shuffling around and a door closing. "Sorry about that. Congrats on your game."
The sweet sound of her voice warms my heart. It’s crazy and a little scary how much she affects me. "Thanks. Maybe you can come to one soon. I'll get you tickets." Nothing would give me more pride than to have her in the stands watching me play.
"That sounds great."
"Can I see you tonight?" I hate the desperation in my tone, but I am desperate.
"Sorry, I told Meg we'd stay up and binge-watch this TV show she wants me to see."
My fucking heart drops. “I miss you.” I don’t even care if I sound pathetic. I really want to see her. She hasn’t been able to see me the past few days since Meg arrived.
“Aww. I miss you, too.”
I walk down the street, no destination in mind. “Have you and Meg spoken about us anymore?” It’s important for me to know that Lora is taking our relationship seriously. If she’s been talking about me with her sister, then I know she’s ready to try and make us work.
“We have, but I’ve got to go.” Her tone is apprehensive.
She’s not lying, that much I can tell, but it doesn’t sound like their conversation went well. It’s enough for me to know that she spoke to Meg about me. It’s a start. The rest can wait. "Okay. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Good night."
She hangs up and I already miss her. What the hell is happening to me?
Thirteen
Loralei
"Well, I remember all those years that Dad thought I was going to play women's hockey in college. Boy was he surprised when I decided to switch to cheerleading my junior year." Meg laughs and takes a sip of her wine.
Eighties music is blaring in here and people are crowded in here like sardines. I would've preferred to stay in tonight rather than going to a bar, but Meg insisted. She's on the prowl tonight.
"I'm sure he was disappointed, but he would never say anything." Hockey is in my father's blood. After he retired from the NHL, he always coached in some capacity, whether we were on the team or not. I only lasted a few years before deciding that gymnastics was more my thing.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice a couple of guys sauntering over to the bar where we’re sitting. One is tall with dark hair, the other has light hair. My immediate thought is to tell them to take a hike, but I'm a wing woman tonight.
Nick was bummed that he couldn't come out with us, but I didn’t want to have a tense evening since my sister still seems to be holding a grudge against him. I could sense his impatience when we were on the phone earlier today, but he didn't push me.
"Hey, ladies," the guy with dark hair says. "Can we get you a drink?"
Meg’s green eyes scan him. She sticks her fingers through her hair and twirls it. "Sure, that’d be great. I'm having white wine, she'll take red."
He sticks his hand out in front of Meg and says, "I'm James. And this is Colin." James points toward the blonde friend standing next to him.
Meg shakes James’s hand vigorously and introduces us both.
I give the guys a halfhearted grin and take a drink of my wine. My heart just isn't in this game. I've been so happy with Nick that I don't even want to flirt with anyone else.
After we
get our drinks, James seems to narrow in on Meg, while Colin moves in closer to me.
"You from Nashville?" Colin asks.
"I am."
"What do you do for a living?" Colin sets his hand on the bar next to me, moving in even closer.
Without an ounce of subtlety, I angle my body away from him.
"I'm a software engineer. What about you?" My tone sounds flat and uninterested. I really don't care about anything about this guy and it pains me that I have to waste time with him. The things I do for my sister. I'll have to put this in my back pocket the next time we talk about Nick.
Meg springs off her barstool and grabs my hand. "We're dancing!"
"We are?" Dancing sounds only slightly more fun than standing in line at the DMV, but at least I won't have to try and carry on a conversation with Colin.
The guys follow us to the busy dance floor where a song with heavy bass thumps in my chest. Meg grabs my hands, swinging them around in hers. It's her attempt at loosening me up. James stands behind Meg twining his hands around her waist. Colin attempts to do the same to me and I swing around and push his hands off. I wave my finger in warning in front of his face. Doing my best, I stand at least a foot away from Colin and swing my hips to the beat.
Every cell in my body freezes when I see Nick storming toward me. His shoulders are pulled back and he's got a tense frown painted across his face.
"Are you having a good time?" Nick spits out.
My pulse pounds, thudding heavy in my neck. “No, I'm really not."
"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Nick asks. His hands are clenched at his sides and he looks ready to come unhinged.
I nod and start walking off the dance floor. The music somehow seems louder and there are too many people, all making too much noise, so I walk toward the door. The fresh air clears my mind and I turn to find not only Nick following me but also Megan. My blood goes cold seeing both of their faces scrunched in anger.