by KL Donn
She pulls in a sharp breath at baby but her body relaxes into me further.
“I couldn’t save her.”
“Who? Who couldn’t you save?”
“Rachel’s baby. He killed her before I could get her out and now Rachel may die too. I finally failed, he beat me and now I don’t know what to do.”
Fuck! I have no idea who or what she’s talking about, but the defeat in her hollowed voice is shredding what’s left of my insides. I know we have our own business to work through but right now, this, what she’s going through comes first. And by the sounds of it, it’s not a conversation to have over coffee, and definitely not one I want to have with an audience that’s playing target practice with my body in their minds, so I pull out my phone and make a call.
“Prez.”
“Rome, need you to bring me my truck. Iron Reapers Clubhouse.” Even being an experienced rider herself, I’m not taking the risk of putting Ivy on the back of my bike in her state, which is damn near catatonic. I’m sure as fuck not asking to borrow a ride, so getting my truck here is the only option.
“Give me an hour.” No questions asked. My best friend and Vice President Romeo Steele is the most loyal person I know and that’s only one of the reasons he’s the best damn VP anyone could have.
“Hold on, sweetheart,” I murmur in Ivy’s ear before I drop—my left arm moving behind her knees to scoop her against my chest. When I stand straight, Ivy wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my neck as if this is something we’ve practiced a thousand times. Her hair brushes against my face as my senses are assaulted with everything Ivy. The tension in my chest releases. I’m home—Ivy is my home. I know that, her dad knows that—it’s time I let Ivy know too.
5
IVY
I’m fairly positive I’m dreaming, or maybe having an out of body experience. Hell, maybe I’m dead because I can’t come up with any other logical explanation as to why I’m in the passenger seat of Theo’s truck. The buttery soft leather beneath my cheek, and a big ass duffle bag stuffed full with my shit in the backseat. Yep. I’ve been abducted by aliens and now I’m in an alternate universe.
One where Theo never left, and Rachel’s baby never died. But since that world doesn’t fucking exist, that means that this is real.
“Where are we going?” I croak, my voice coming out raspy and weak.
Theo glances over at me from the driver’s seat, his eyes dragging my body in silent inspection. “Home.”
Since we just left my home, I’m assuming he’s referring to his clubhouse. I don’t even have it in me to fight with him. Every ounce of fight I possessed has already been drained out of me.
I pay no attention to our surroundings as he drives. The sun has long since fallen from the sky and I wonder how long we’ve been on the road. Or where we are for that matter. When I sit up, my muscles scream at the movement after being in the same position for too long. Theo’s truck slows about an hour later, turning onto a side road. I finally lift my head and look around.
We’re literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded on each side of the truck by a vast expanse of scattered trees. With no street signs or landmarks in sight, we could be anywhere at this point. Lights in the distance catch my eye and I squint at the shape as it comes into view. A massive twelve foot high chain link fence topped with rolled razor wire surrounds the perimeter of their clubhouse. As we approach the gate, Theo lifts his arm and presses a clicker attached to his sun visor, and the gate rolls open. Once inside, I sit up straighter to get a better look.
This isn’t just a clubhouse, this place is a compound. In the center, there are two buildings roughly the size of our clubhouse back home. But what’s really caught my attention are the small driveways that each lead to a little cottage.
What the fuck? They’re running some type of MC Experience Bed and Breakfast?
Bypassing the buildings, Theo directs his truck to the farthest drive from the others before turning in. He pulls to a stop outside a log home that seems to be slightly bigger than the surrounding ones. Once he’s parked, he comes to my side and opens the door for me. I turn, ready to jump out, but Theo stops me.
His hand cups my face as he steps between my thighs. His free hand moves to my hip and he tugs me so that I’m resting on the edge of the seat. The heat of his middle hits my core and I can’t help but squeeze my thighs around him tighter. In his arms like this, it’s like no time has passed. The years between us don’t exist and we’re just us, Theo and Ivy.
Theo’s thumb is dancing along the skin beneath my ear and I melt into his touch. My heart is screaming, dancing, and crying all at once from being in his arms again. My lungs expand to their capacity as if it’s the first full breath they’ve taken in the years since Theo left. That’s the devastation he left in me—the kind that leaves you not broken but shattered. Theo didn’t just leave a hole, he left a fucking void. But now, with him here holding me like I’m the most precious thing in his world, it’s like he never left.
“Come on, baby. Let’s get you inside.”
My stomach turns over when calls me baby. As much as I want to be a tough as nails bitch, pet names, even common ones were always a weak spot of mine.
I’m not sure what I expected the inside of his home to look like exactly, but whatever it was, what I’m met with sure as hell isn’t it. Bare, cold, minimalistic. All words I would have expected to use when describing Theo’s home. I’m met with the complete opposite.
The inside of his cottage is warm and inviting. Photos line the walls of his home. Most of them contain a life I’ve had no part of, but there are others from his life before… his life with me.
Theo disappears with my bag, leaving me in his open living area free to explore. When he comes back, my bag is gone. “You want something to eat?”
My stomach revolts at the thought of food. “I’m alright, though I wouldn’t mind some coffee if you’ve got any.”
Theo nods and goes to the kitchen. A few minutes later the scent of life assaults my nostrils as the coffee begins to brew. I know there are things that need to be said, questions we both have, but I’m not sure if I’m ready. Will I be able to take the truth of why Theo left? For years after he left I did nothing but imagine him coming back to me.
What he would say?
What I would do?
And now that I’m finally being faced with it, I have no fucking idea what’s about to happen, or how I’m going to move forward from here.
Theo brings me my coffee and damn if my heart doesn’t crack a little more when I realize he’s made it just the way I like it. Seems I’m not the only one who hasn’t forgotten things.
Theo takes a seat on the couch across from me, he doesn’t waste any time. “Tell me what happened tonight, Ivy.”
The coffee in my stomach turns sour. God. What happened tonight…? What happened was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. It was my worst nightmare come to life except there would be no waking up.
“You broke me when you left.” Fuck. That’s not exactly how I wanted to start things. Theo visibly flinches.
“Ives...”
“No.” I hold up my hand. “Let me get this out, please.”
His jaw clenches but he nods and sits back in his seat, his fingers turning white at his death grip on the cushion.
“I didn’t know who I was without you, Theo. Every facet of who I was was so tightly wound around you. When you left there wasn’t much of me left behind. It was dark for a while. Nothing made sense without you, but I didn’t care. There were days that I prayed to die and others where I prayed for the strength to live.”
Theo drops his head into his hands, his shoulders slump and he releases a noise that sounds like an apology. When he doesn’t lift his head, I continue.
“It went on like that longer than I care to admit. I needed something to give me a reason again, so I started taking care of the cutsluts. I became their keeper, their den mother I guess you could say.
Saying it out loud is funny because most of them are all older than me, but it gave me a purpose. Pregnancy tests, tampon runs, and monthly STD checks became my life, and I was okay with that. Then I got a call from Katie.”
At the mention of her name, Theo lifts his head and after scrubbing his hands over his face, asks, “Katie? You mean Katie from high school?”
I nod. “The one and only. She and I had lost touch for a few years, so I was surprised to hear from her, but it wasn’t exactly a joyous reunion.”
Theo’s brows draw together in question.
“Brock been beating her. Mentally and physically. He abused her for years but one day she’d had enough. She was my first butterfly.”
“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?”
Brock and Theo used to be friends, so I knew it was going to be hard for him to hear how much his friend had changed.
“A lot happened after you left, Theo. Life happens and it changes you, I know that you of all people can understand that.”
Theo settles and gives me a nod of encouragement to continue. “Anyway, getting Katie a new life also gave me one. Yes, I had responsibilities with the cutsluts, but it was enough to survive. Getting her out finally gave me life again, so I latched onto it. I reached out to Priest and he helped me form my operation.”
“Which is what exactly?”
“I save women that need to be saved. All of them are in dangerous, abusive situations and for one reason or another, they have no way out. So they call me... and I get them out. I get them a new life somewhere away from here, a clean slate.”
“You’ve mentioned butterflies. What do you mean by that?”
“All of the women I save get a new identity. I decided to give them all names with some type of variation of a kind of butterfly. The transition into their new life is almost like a metamorphosis.”
Theo’s eyes linger on mine for a long minute, his gaze has shifted from curiosity to something else… admiration, adoration… maybe even love. Whatever it is, it’s making me feel all those warm and fuzzy things I believed in before Theo walked out of my life.
He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Now can you tell me what happened today?”
After another sip of coffee, I explain, “I’ve had years of perfecting my operation. Though each one is different the end game is always the same. Save the girl. Rachel, my current rehome was a first for me because she was pregnant. I knew I needed to get her out fast which was what I was trying to do the night I ran into you at the Blue Iguana.”
Confusion followed by understanding crosses his features. “Fuck.”
I nod, yeah fuck is right. “He was her husband and I needed to distract him long enough so that my guys could get Rachel out. But when you interrupted, he bolted and I had to adjust our schedule and re-plan. Unfortunately, he got to her before I could get her out. Now her baby is gone and Rachel has been left with very visible scars that will be a daily reminder of her previous life.”
“God, Ivy… so that’s what you meant when you said it was all my fault. If I hadn’t interrupted you at the Blue Iguana you would have already gotten Rachel out.” The look of devastation in his eyes is like a knife to my heart. Although I did blame Theo, he wasn’t truly at fault. If he’d known anything about what I was planning, I know without a doubt he would have had my back.
I give him a sad smile. “I’m sorry I said those things to you. I know it’s not really your fault. You were there and it was convenient to place the blame on you.”
“Ivy—”
“Why’d you leave?” I cut off what was sure to be another apology. I’m feeling open and exposed… so fucking raw. I just need the spotlight on him for a few minutes. I also need to know why he left more than I need my next breath.
Theo stands slowly and my first instinct is to leap to my feet and beg him not to leave, but instead, I watch him pace the room as his he tugs on his hair. After a few deep breaths he comes toward me then drops down to sit beside me.
“I was trying to save you.” His voice is weak, almost questioning if he even believes in the words he just spoke.
My head jerks back. “You were trying to save me? You fuckin’ destroyed me when you left. In what world did you think leaving was equal to saving me, Theo?” I attempt to stand so I can put some distance between us, but he grips my wrist and holds me in place. When I let out a frustrated groan, he sighs.
“You don’t understand, Ives. I was fuckin’ drowning. Losing Pop fucked me up so bad. I had all this hate and blame that was festering inside of me, it was eating me from the inside out. I didn’t know what else to do.” His brows knit in frustration.
With a huff, I cross my arms and scowl at him. “Well you sure as fuck don’t leave in the middle of the goddamn night!”
“I was already killing you! Each day that I stayed you died a little more before my very eyes—I couldn’t do it. I had to get out of there before it was too late. I was a sinking ship, Ivy and you were my prisoner.”
I shake my head unable to comprehend what he’s saying to me. “You thought I was your prisoner? Jesus Christ, Theo, I would have done anything for you, all you had to do was fuckin’ talk to me!”
I stand to pace the room and this time he doesn’t stop me. Years have been lost all because he couldn’t open his mouth and tell me what was happening. Every hook up, every date, every time I’ve tried to get close to anyone I couldn’t do because I was stuck on Theo. Asshole! There’s nothing more I want than to walk over to him and punch his goddamn beautiful face, but I can’t do that… Because you love him, Ivy. Ugh!
“Why didn’t you take me with you?” Tears well in my eyes and I swipe them away before he notices how much he’s affecting me. I can’t let him see how broken and defeated I am in this moment. It’s like waving a big ass white flag saying I’ve given up.
When his eyes meet mine, I see the same emotions there. “I was never going to be gone long. I knew I couldn’t get rid of the darkness inside of me, it was so deep. I knew it was never coming out, but it had also changed me, Ivy. I had to learn how to harness it in the right ways without it touching you… us. I couldn’t do that if you were with me, baby.” He stands and reaches out to me but quickly drops his hand. “I left to become a better man, baby. I had to fix myself for you.”
“But you broke me.” I take one tentative step forward.
He takes a step toward me before wrapping me in arms. “Then let me be the one to put you back together.”
6
VIPER
Having Ivy in my arms again is something I’ve only imagined in my dreams. I always knew I’d go back to her, but I never allowed my dreams to delve too far into the future. I’ve been running from darkness and the threat of death for far too long to even consider what the future may bring.
As steam fills the bathroom and the hot water rains down on us, I glide my hands over Ivy’s soft, smooth body. “I’ve fuckin’ missed this, Ives,” I say in her ear as I grind my cock against her firm ass.
She drops her head back on my shoulder and I lean down to press a bruising kiss to her lips, capturing her moans in my mouth.
“Theo, I—”
“No talking, baby, just feel.” When she gives me a nod, I continue my exploration of her body. One hand glides up to her breast where I pinch her nipple between my fingers and smile as she writhes in my embrace. My other hand travels lower and dips down over her smooth, flat stomach until my fingers reach her clit and a jumble of words pour from her lips. None of them make sense, but her body tells me everything I need to know.
She needs me just as desperately as I need her.
“Don’t stop—” Her pleas are cut off by another moan of pleasure when my fingers slide into her wet pussy.
When I drag them out, her little whimpers of annoyance cause me to laugh, and I nibble against her ear. “Let’s finish this in bed,” I say.
With that, she spins around and wraps her arms around my neck to planting a kiss on
my lips. She tastes like coffee and happiness and every dream I ever dared to imagine.
The kiss continues for long drawn minutes; our tongues dance together, teeth clash, and our bodies are so close I could lift her up right now and slide into her, but I need to do this right. I need to claim her all over again—make sure she knows where she belongs, and who she belongs to.
If I thought a wet, needy Ivy in my shower was amazing, a just washed, writhing Ivy in my bed, on my sheets, is pure heaven. While she lies back on my pillow with her flaming red hair fanned out around her head, I take my time kissing every inch of her body.
I pepper soft kisses against her neck, across her collarbone, and down between her tits. When she wriggles and attempts to move so my mouth finds her pebbled nipples, I stop and look down at her.
“You’re still so damn impatient, Ives”
She pouts and rolls her eyes. “It’s not my fault you’re taking so long, just fuck me already.”
When I laugh, she gives me a playful slap on my arm before she lifts her hips to press herself into my aching cock.
I kneel back on my heels between her spread legs and lazily stroke my cock. “Is this what you want, baby, you my hard cock deep inside that sweet, wet pussy?”
She nods, her eyes fixed on my cock as she licks her lips.
Leaning down, I press a too gentle kiss beside her lips. “You’ll have to beg me for it.”
Her eyes narrow. “I will not.” she sasses.
She will beg. She always did.
As my tongue circles one hard nipple, I roll the other one between my fingers until she’s writhing beneath me again, her legs around my waist, desperately trying to pull me closer so she can grind against me. My sweet, beautiful Ivy. I’ve gone without her for years and she has no idea how good my self control has become.
When her breaths turn to needy pants and quiet whimpers I follow the lines of her curves all the way down to the inside of her thighs. The scent of her wet heat is almost enough to push me over the edge and give in to her. But not yet.