by Eva K. More
"I don't have your perfect, perky breasts," Kat said, motioning with her hands the shape of Andrea’s breasts. "Mine are a bit bigger." The material was stretchy, but with Kat’s curves, and the size of her bosom, the dress was stretched to the maximum.
Good-naturally, Andrea hit her arm, "Yeah, rub that in." She started to giggle, the melodic sound of it being almost swallowed by the loud music.
Kat elbowed her in return. "That's not what I meant. They hang. They don't look good without support." The neon lights of the club gave the feeling of an American electronic rave and helped to embolden the people sensually moving on the dancefloor.
Andrea just waved her off. "Please shut up. You look fantastic." Kat looked down at her dress. The golden material worked well with her blonde hair, and it reached a little above her mid-thigh. It wasn't as short as the black number Andrea wore, but although it showed little cleavage, it was very tight on her chest. She had managed to fight Andrea's first choice of unbelievably high heels and had put on flat sandals with dainty golden straps.
Lorry grinned, showing the dimples of her cheeks and gave her the thumbs up. "I'm so happy you are here; when Andi told me that you were coming, I thought that she was joking. What did your grandparents say?".
Kat bit her lip and looked down at her feet. "They don't exactly know. I didn't want to worry them." The sound coming out of her mouth was not that low, but with the bass and the loud crow, Lorry didn’t hear anything. It was a good thing that she knew Kat enough to guess what was the thing she said.
"See, Lor? She's already starting to be a bad girl. Wearing a trendy dress and lying to her grandparents! Now she has risen from the twelve-year-old stage to that of a sixteen-year-old," Andrea said as she took Kat’s arms and goofily raised them above her head in a sign of victory.
"You probably shouldn't listen to Andi so much, I do think that she is much too wild in some aspects," Lorry said as she eyed her cousin. Her green eyes turned a shade softer when she looked at Kat. "Do you think it's a good idea to lie to them? I'd think it would be best to come out to your grandparents and tell them that you are old enough to make your own decisions."
Ever the wise one, Kat thought about Lorry's words and felt suddenly a lot lousier. Of course, Lorry was right. And in a way, Andrea was too. Lying to her grandparents was juvenile and not grown-up. But when she thought about confronting them, her heart constricted and her hands became clammy. She was afraid. Afraid to voice her wishes that were so against those of her grandparents. Afraid to lose their love.
Andrea noticed Kat's gloomy gaze and gave Lorry a reprimanding look, grabbing her upper arm and shaking her head.
What a party-pooper!
She then turned to her friend again and put an arm around her shoulders; the golden sequins of Kat’s dress scraped her soft skin, but she didn’t care; it was much more important to assure her oldest friend that everything was alright, "You feeling like a vodka shot tonight?" she asked.
"Isn't there some kind of juice with that?" Just the thought of the burning liquid slowly downing through her throat made Kat nervous.
The loud sound of Andrea’s laugh was noticeable above the music this time. "Juice? That's not the point of going out, woman! You need to let loose. Don't you wanna get laid?" And now came the eyebrows again; up and down, in a quick sequence of movements, one, two, three times until she finished with a wink of her left eye.
"I already said no!" Kat exclaimed heatedly trying to push her guilty conscience to the back of her mind. That's right. She was here to enjoy herself, and she could do that best when she kept her grandparents in the dark.
Despite having thrown her inhibitions out the window that day, at least partially, Kat wasn't so sure she was ready to commit the ultimate step of becoming an educated feminist. In theory, a one-night stand sounded thrilling and adventurous; it made her stomach flutter and cheeks blush, but provided with the possibility, it felt more daring and bolder than she was prepared for.
Andrea sighed. "Fine. ‘Have booze and let loose’ is your first lesson, so I guess we can't start with the ultimate goal ‘Bang, be a tramp.’" She put a small glass with a clear liquid in front of Kat, her little smile and eyes full of mischief were in play. "But you need to drink. You are as stiff as a board. How are you going to dance with that stick up your ass?"
Kat hit her friend playfully on one of her exposed shoulders. "I do not have a stick up… there." But when she looked at the dance floor and the moving mass of people, her stomach dipped, it was a strange mix between excitement and dread.
"Just drink it, Kat. You've entrusted me with the mission of introducing you to the dark side of life." Andrea took her own vodka shot and clashed the glass with Lorry’s, both throwing their heads back and consuming the drink in one movement.
Kat shot her friends a doubtful look but gave in eventually. The first shot made her throat burn and her eyes teary. The second was still bitter to the point of making her sick.
The third wasn't so bad anymore.
Emboldened by the alcohol and her friends, she followed them to the dance floor. At first, her movements were tentative, but then people started looking at her, smiling at her, encouraging her with their actions, and she felt her tense muscles slowly loosening.
Her movements became less edgy, more flowing. And she remembered how she had danced alone in her room, dreaming of being on a real dancefloor surrounded by other people. She lost track of time and her friends who shimmied around her, dancing with different partners. Kat declined any offers of that sort, as she wanted to enjoy that moment by herself.
The vibes of the loud and sultry music and the blue, green, and white lights dancing along with it were enticing her senses in a way like she never felt before. The song playing in the background was a track she remembered from her teenage years. It was still popular because of the mix of rap and lyrical singing.
Finally, she smelled the sweat and sweetness of the moving mass and tasted the freedom of dancing most provocatively without any remorse. And it was intoxicating.
She lazily swung her hips from one side to the other, her hands wandering up, the tip of her fingers barely touching her heated body until they reached her shoulders. She lifted her dense hair, letting the sweaty skin in the nape of her neck cool off.
Closing her eyes and singing along to the chorus, softly smiling as she felt the beat deep inside her core… It was in that moment of utter euphoria that she opened her eyes and found her gaze trapped on another.
A man, sitting sideways at the bar, was looking at her. He was leaning on one of his elbows, cupped chin with his right hand, the forefinger lying on his lips. He seemed older than her, with subtle shadows accentuating his face in the dim light, early to mid-thirties at most.
The long-sleeved dark shirt emphasized his muscular build. Was it blue or black? Kat couldn’t differentiate the color with the club’s lights changing all the time. Equally dark pants covered his long legs; one of them bent, his foot resting on the step of the barstool. Dark, slightly longish hair encircled an angular face.
She couldn't distinguish the color of his eyes, but it didn't matter. The smoldering stare he was giving her made her feel like her clothes would burn to ashes any moment now. Hunger and desire were so openly displayed in his piercing gaze; she could barely breathe.
Never before had a man looked at her with so much need.
The yearning she felt as a reaction was striking. Her heart was beating faster now, and she could barely hear the music behind the thudding pulse in her ears. On any other day, in any different situation, she would have looked away. But something was burning in her veins, probably the adrenalin shooting up in spades with every other forbidden action, and she felt encouraged.
Despite the nervous fluttering in her stomach, she kept on looking boldly at him.
When another song started playing, more sensual, and slower than the previous one, she rotated her hips in a silent beckoning, the right side of her bottom lip tr
apped between her teeth. There was a tick in his cheek, a slight widening of his eyes like he had just realized that she had seen him, that she wanted him, too.
Another tightening of his jaw betrayed his inscrutable restraint. But Kat was determined, mesmerized by his captivating appearance; she couldn't stop her body from issuing that unmistakable invitation.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or perhaps the atmosphere. But Kat discovered that she could not merely ignore this carnal attraction pulling her to him. She would stand her ground, though, he should come to her.
He moved his hand from his lips, and she saw his face completely. The man was truly striking. When he put both his legs on the ground, a sensual smile formed on her lips. He would cave any moment now.
And he did.
With a final tick in his jaw, he stood up and moved forward. He walked like a gladiator on his way to his prize, like a man who owned the universe. Up close, he was larger than life.
As he stood in front of her, all previous traces of the bold vixen were gone. Kat suddenly felt overpowered by his presence, yet she couldn't move away. The intensity by which he was looking at her made her heart flutter and her knees weak. In her ears, the drilling sound of her pulse replaced the music - fear and excitement mixed in a heady cocktail of carnal anticipation.
His hand cupped her face in a surprisingly gentle manner. If she had thought about running away, the idea suddenly got discarded. He cradled her chin carefully, not once looking away from her eyes. His expression was less sinister and more affectionate.
Then, the world around her faded away as he leaned forward and stopped just a breath away from her lips. She looked into his eyes without really seeing them because she could only focus on the crazy beating of her heart and the erratic breathing produced by her lungs.
She wanted him to kiss her, needed him to kiss her to kill the ache that had suddenly formed deep within her.
And when she was sure he would lean in that little extra inch, his expression turned from positively wicked to a stone-cold mask. For a moment, Kat thought that he was angry. But before she could sort out her emotions – Shame for her wanton behavior being the most prominent – he turned and left her motionless in the middle of the dancefloor.
Just like that, the enchantment broke.
e has a pointy nose, and I don’t like that,” Andrea said from the background. Her voice was getting mixed with Kat’s loud thoughts and the sounds of the people surrounding them.
“Still, he’s cute. I wouldn’t push him away from my bed,” Lorry’s voice was the same, just a noise semi-lost within the sounds inside the restaurant.
“Ew. I think a pointy nose means a pointy penis, no thanks; I pass,” said Andrea while cringing.
“You’re ridiculous, Andi. Kat, what do you think?” Lorry asked, but it’s as if she was talking to the wind, Kat’s mind was definitely in some other place.
“She’s daydreaming about that hunk again,” Andrea replied. This was the third time that night that Kat was missing from the conversation, even if she was physically there. Her thoughts were noticeably louder than the voices of her friends.
“Kat!”
Kat snapped to attention when Lorry waved a hand in front of her face. She hadn’t been daydreaming about the stranger at the club, just thinking about the next step in her ‘journey towards freedom.’ As she had no interest in gossiping about the sexiness of the main actor of the movie they had just seen, she got lost inside her own mind effortlessly.
Okay, maybe she had also been thinking back on that evening weeks ago, and the heated moment shared with the stranger on the dancefloor. That intoxicating experience that had set her free, in a way.
Strange, she thought, smiling faintly, how it had taken a stranger for her desire to change and take real roots.
“Sorry, guys, I was just thinking about my next exam,” Kat said. It was preferable for the girls to think that her mind was inside college business; if she confessed where her thoughts really were, Andrea would begin with her nagging… again.
They had watched the last show of the day, and it was close to midnight now, the full moon making a beautiful sight in the sky. This timeframe was also part of Kat’s plan on living a life without boundaries. Usually, she would have never stayed out this long on a weeknight.
But she wasn’t a high-schooler anymore, she hadn’t been one for a long time now. She was an adult, and adults could be out at this time on a Wednesday whenever they wanted to.
“Yeah, sure,” Andrea said while shooting her best friend a disbelieving look. It was hilarious how Kat didn’t sometimes realize that at this point in their lives, she was basically an open book for Andrea.
“I guess I can understand you, that guy in the club was a rather sexy man. I mean, did you see those shoulders? And the dangerous vibe that he oozed, as if he would just press you against a wall and rip your panties off,” Andrea closed her eyes and inhaled, the satisfied smile giving away the memory that she was evoking.
“Mhm, I have to agree. There was something intense about him,” Lorry said.
Kat didn’t want to talk about him anymore. Her friends couldn’t possibly understand what he had made her feel in that moment.
It had been exhilarating and thrilling. It felt like a dam had broken and had let loose a stream of steamy fantasies and sexy wishes. Gone was the shy wallflower. A she-devil seeking more of these stimulating experiences replaced her.
Well, a she-devil in the making.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t get his number,” Always the mothering type, Lorry was trying to reassure her that everything will be fine. “Next time.” She smiled, her eyes showing her characteristic kindness.
“You should be ashamed to have let such a specimen go without even a kiss. Or a word. You have a guy like that come up to you? You grab him by the shoulders and smash his face against yours.” Andrea raised her hands, mimicking grabbing someone’s head and kissing it.
“Andi!” Lorry guffawed, “That sounds brutal. And it’s not true.” With sparkling eyes, she turned to look at Kat. “Don’t listen to her; I’ve never smashed any guy’s head against my own.”
Andrea just waved her hand as if Lorry’s words didn’t matter. “You know what I mean. As a girl these days, you need to be a bit more straightforward; you can’t expect men to do all the work anymore. But I’m going to teach you everything there is to know about flirting. Next time he won’t get away without fixing a date with you.” She directed her pointy finger at Kat and winked her left eye.
Truthfully, Kat didn’t feel prepared for a man like him, and she knew that it was more than her mind thinking. That’s why she had started following Andrea’s instructions dutifully.
She wanted to be prepared the next time. Until then, she could only fantasize of a different outcome.
What would have happened if she hadn’t been such a dork?
“Please, I’ll probably never see him again. Can we change the topic? It’s getting boring,” Kat said, not wanting to dwell on the subject anymore. The frustration she felt was just too much.
“Mustn’t be the same guy, any guy will do,” Andrea said.
Despite rolling her eyes, Kat could not hide her small smile. “Fine. Can those lessons start tomorrow? Right now, I’d prefer we talk about the sexy actor again. I’m sure he has no pointy… penis.”
Andrea’s lips quirked with humor. “You know, it might sound horrible, but your grandfather’s sickness might have been the best thing that ever happened to you.” Dear God, these were the kinds of things that made Kat want to strangle Andrea from time to time.
Lorry gasped. “That is a horrible thing to say, Andi!”
At least Andrea had the good grace to blush. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that I hadn’t seen you this carefree and relaxed in a long time. Of course, your grandfather getting sick is terrible. But, in a sense, it was the distance from your grandparents that enabled you to seek out your own happiness.” She was right, and K
at knew it, but it was difficult to associate her Dedo’s sickness with something good.
Kat mulled over these words as she looked at her glass.
“You are like a blooming flower,” Andrea said, reaching over the table to squeeze Kat’s hand for a second.
Kat drank up her iced tea. “You say it like I was wilting before.” Her voice suddenly turned low, a little bit afraid about her friend’s next response, but needing to hear it anyway.
Andrea raised her hand for the waiter. “Check, please.” Then she turned back to Kat. “No, but you were like a latent bud.”
Kat frowned in thought.
When Kat had been twenty-two, approximately one year and two months ago, her beloved Dedo had suffered a major stroke. It had been worrisome the following months after, filled with rehabilitation and drawbacks and teary nights. In the end, he had survived, but his motor activities had suffered a lot.
It had been a difficult time for Kat and her Baba. And when the time had come for her Dedo to go back home, it had been a hard decision to make.
Her grandmother had been too old to care for him throughout the whole day, and with his weak body, though fierce temper, he had wildly objected the idea of Kat caring for him. So, they had needed a nurse, and that nurse had needed a place to sleep.
The apartment had only two bedrooms, and with Kat having reached her twenty-third birthday, her grandparents had eventually decided that she was old enough to live on her own.
Funny, that it wasn’t her own decision.
With their most obvious hope – that their upbringing got burnt into Kat’s mind and she would never stray from her brainwashed morals – they rented her a small flat not too far from their apartment.
“My grandparents are good people,” Kat said finally, swallowing remnants of guilt. They had spent every last dollar on her, giving her the world—quite literally—and could barely afford the medical care they now needed.
And what had she done in return for all their sacrifices? She had spent her first weeks of freedom doing almost everything that they had explicitly forbidden her from doing.