by Wine, Mary
Was it so terrible to want happiness in life?
Cora refused to think otherwise. If that made her unbridled, so be it. She pressed her back against the stone wall and listened to the maids.
“I hear he’s bedded her repeatedly…” Another maid was adding her opinion to the conversation in the kitchens. “But she still started her monthly courses.”
Fenella was gone to the hall, so the maids were using the time to chat. Cora had learned a great deal from them since she’d started doubling back and hiding after already bidding them all good night.
“What do you expect?” another asked. “Her mother only produced two girls, and Laird Lindsey is known for his fidelity.”
“Useless creature.”
“Barren, no doubt.”
“Mackenzie will be made sport of for certain now,” Innis was taking the lead in the conversation. “We’ll have a bastard for the next laird, if even that much.”
There was a round of grumbling. Cora felt her belly heave. It sickened her to hear the animosity. No one spoke up in Rhedyn’s defense. There was no mention of the fact that they had been wed less than a month.
No, there was only judgement.
The fate of a noble bride.
Her future…
Oh yes, everyone assured her that she would not be treated in such a way. They petted her when she questioned them, consoling her like a child.
Only, it would be her who would have to face the expectations of the Grants. And what if her husband didn’t do his part? The failure to conceive would still be shackled around her ankles.
Cora felt something shift inside her. A firm sense of resolution. She would not be an innocent lamb. If Cormac Grant didn’t impress her, well, she wouldn’t wed him. They were hardly the first couple betrothed to one another by their parents for the sake of good business.
The difference was that she was not going to suffer a husband who had no interest for her or even detested her. No, Cormac would have to prove himself, or she’d refuse him.
And she would be making certain her brother knew it.
*
It was a full moon.
Rhedyn escaped to the north tower the moment Muir had finished his supper. Guilt needled her as she left the hall because the Retainer shot her a look of irritation. Still, he stuffed some cheese into a round of bread and stood. She felt him trailing her through the passageways.
The room in the north tower was clean. The moonlight offered her enough light to see by. She picked up the flint and struck it, causing sparks to fall into a small bowel with tinder in it. The delicate, dry husks caught easily. Picking up a candle, she held it so the wick would catch.
A warm pool of yellow light enveloped her. She placed the candle in a small, ceramic holder. But she didn’t light the other candles. Instead, she moved toward the window and opened the shutters. The night air was cold and misty. The scent of rain teased her nose. The moon was large and bright in the sky, casting a glow on the crops beginning to rise up from the ground.
“Why are ye here, Rhedyn?”
She gasped and turned, but Buchanan was already behind her. He clamped his arms around her, his body warming her.
“Umm….” He was nuzzling at her hair, making her loathe the idea of conversation.
“Ye would have me known as a man who cast ye out because I cannot take me ease with ye?” he asked bluntly. He made a scoffing sound under his breath before releasing her.
“Can we not move past ye thinking me a villain?” Frustration edged his tone.
She blinked as she faced him. “That isn’t what I meant…”
“But it’s what yer actions proclaim,” he cut back. “Ye know well our every action will be picked apart by the staff.”
“I do know it,” she muttered in irritation. “This entire day has been naught but judgment against me.”
“So why are ye here?” he demanded. “Ye intend to make it appear that I also find ye lacking and put ye out of me chamber?”
His question stunned her.
“I’m sorry,” she exclaimed, feeling tears prickling her eyes. “Everyone has been glaring at me all day…and supper was more of the same…and…and…” She was making a motion with her hand, but her mind went blank on just what else she wanted to say. Instead, she felt like her control was spent. Composure shredding away and dropping her into a heap of emotions on the floor.
Surprise flashed through his eyes before he was suddenly gathering her close again. “Here now, lass. I meant to reassure ye, no’ wound ye further.”
But she pressed her hands against his chest, wiggling against his hold until he released her. Shame prevented her from accepting his embrace.
“It’s my fault,” Rhedyn exclaimed. “I made sure I wouldn’t conceive.”
Shock took over his face.
“I just wasn’t sure if things would work out or not…” She was babbling. Caught in the grip of a storm of emotions. Everything she’d locked behind her resolve and composure was just spilling out. “I didn’t know what to do when offered the chance to make sure I didn’t conceive, so I made sure it wouldn’t happen and now everyone is…”
“I do nae care what everyone else is thinking on the matter,” he declared sternly.
Rhedyn shut her mouth. His tone was hard, and his eyes had narrowed. She stiffened but kept her gaze on his.
“Ye have the right to be angry with me.”
Buchanan was shaking his head. He held up a single finger as she felt like an icy grip was tightening around her heart.
“I committed the crime, Rhedyn,” he said. “When I stole ye from yer father. It was the wrong thing, done for the right reasons. I do no’ blame ye for being hesitant to bind yerself to me forever with a child.”
“Ye don’t?” she asked in astonishment.
He shook his head.
She’d never realized how lonely life was until moments when he was pressed against her. It felt as if she’d found the other half of herself.
“But I hope to give ye reason to trust me in the future, Rhedyn.”
He scooped her off her feet, carrying her to the bed. The shutters were still open, allowing the night air in. It chilled the chamber, but that just made her want to huddle close to Buchanan more. He pulled the bedding up to her neck and pressed her head down onto his chest while he lay on his back in the middle of the bed.
“I know it will take time, Rhedyn,” he muttered in the darkness. “Please give me the chance to be yer husband.”
He was a proud man. Laird of the Mackenzie. He didn’t have to ask her for anything.
Yet, he did.
There in the bed they seemed to be only a man and a woman. Fresh tears spilled from her eyes as the moment tore at the last layer protecting her heart. No one had ever been inside her private space like he was. She’d never cared so very much about another person’s feelings.
“I won’t take it anymore,” she promised.
He stroked his hand over the side of her head.
“I just needed some time.”
“Aye, lass. ’Tis understandable.”
She lifted her head and looked at him. He held his expression tight for a long moment before he lost the battle and snorted. He rolled over, pushing her onto her back.
“I swear to Christ I want to throttle ye for drinking poison,” he growled. “I know what women take to make certain they do not conceive and it’s damned dangerous, Rhedyn! If it’s brewed incorrectly, ye can bleed to death. I’ve half a mind to have Innis sent out from the castle for agreeing to give it to ye.”
“How would ye know?” she demanded. “What I took?”
Her question caught him off guard. His expression became guarded. Rhedyn poked him in the chest.
“Did the woman who taught you to be a man tell ye of it?” she asked.
He didn’t want to answer her. There was no way she might make him do so, either. His silence made her feel exposed, though, and she set her teeth into her lower lip.
“Aye, it was the woman who taught me how to be a man,” Buchanan spoke slowly. His expression darkened slightly, drawing her attention to it in fascination.
Somehow, she’d never thought a man might squirm over such a topic.
“She wasn’t me mistress.”
Rhedyn felt her eyes widen.
“At least, no’ in the sense of the word that is most often used.” Buchanan’s expression went darker still. “Me father had her brought to me…with instructions to see to me education.”
“Ye’re blushing.” Rhedyn truly hadn’t intended to make fun of him, but she was astonished by the darkening of his skin. She reached for his face.
He caught her hand before she made contact, closing his fingers around it.
“My father did nae want me inexperience to be used by a calculating woman. As the heir to the Mackenzies, he said there would be plenty who would use deceit to gain power by getting into me bed.”
“Oh.” As far as responses went, her’s lacked a great deal.
“It was nae a choice, Rhedyn.” His hand tightened around hers.
“It had been expected of ye,” she muttered. “Just as everyone always minded their tongues around me, keeping me innocent of just what I might find after I was wed. We were both prepared.”
“How can ye read me so well, lass?” he asked. “No one sees my personal thoughts the way ye seem to be able to.”
She let out a scoff. “I know that difficultly meself.”
His expression softened. There was a hint of shyness in his eyes.
“But Innis didn’t brew it for me.” Rhedyn felt the need to protect the maid.
His eyes narrowed slightly. She didn’t get a chance to ask any further questions. He lay down on his back and pulled her close. Her head was on his chest, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep as he stroked her shoulder.
*
“I do nae wish to wed,” Cora spoke clearly.
The head table went quiet. The captains looked to one another and then to Buchanan. Cora looked her brother in the eyes. “And do nae lecture me.”
Buchanan laid his knife down. “Ye can be certain I will tell ye I do no’ care for yer tone, Cora. Or for having this conversation at the supper table.”
Cora appeared unaffected. “I do nae care to see Mistress Lindsey suffering yer men watching her every move.”
“It is necessary,” Buchanan answered firmly.
“Let us discuss this, Cora,” Rhedyn attempted to be the voice of reason.
“Oh, aye,” Cora responded heatedly as though Rhedyn hadn’t spoken. “It is very necessary for women to be made to bend to the whims of men. Well, I will no’ go to the Grants as some lamb to be tormented. I will enjoy me life.”
She shoved her chair back and left the table.
Buchanan grunted.
Rhedyn laid her hand on his forearm. “This might be best for women to discuss.”
His gaze locked with hers for a moment before he nodded once. Rhedyn pushed her chair back and went toward the kitchens. Cora might be upset, but Rhedyn doubted the girl would go hungry. She’d just gather something up for a meal from the kitchens while the maids were out tending to the Retainers sitting at the tables in the hall.
Rhedyn hadn’t made it very far when Cora ran past. Her face was red with fury, and she disappeared quickly into the yard.
“That girl needs a mother.”
Rhedyn turned to see Fenella standing near. The Head-of-House wiped her hands on her apron before looking toward Rhedyn.
“A woman who understands the position she was born into,” Fenella advised softly.
Rhedyn felt the subtle reprimand. It wasn’t unjust, either. Life was hard. Everyone had something they had to do in order to survive. From the lowest scullery maid to the lady of the manner. Each and every one of them had to have a place.
“My mother taught me to recognize the blessings around me,” Rhedyn replied. “As well as my responsibilities.”
There was a flicker of approval in Fenella’s eyes. “As did me own. Cora has been too long in the company of men and thinks fighting is the way to gain what she wants from life.”
“I’ll see to her,” Rhedyn stated.
The Head-of-House nodded. As Rhedyn started after Buchanan’s sister, Fenella stretched out her arm in front of Muir. “Best allow the women to talk among themselves for a wee bit.”
Rhedyn didn’t wait to see what Muir would do. If he trailed her, well, there would be nothing she might do to dissuade him.
She ventured into the yard, heading toward the stables.
“Cora?”
The stables were quiet. Rhedyn looked both ways but ventured further into the darkness. She knew she hadn’t imagined seeing the girl go toward them. There was only a sliver of scarlet on the horizon now. It was no time for anyone to be riding out.
“Cora?” Rhedyn called once again. “I know I saw ye.”
“Aye,” Cora spoke near the far end of the stables. “Ye have good instincts, Rhedyn.”
Buchanan’s sister pointed at a horse. “And I am repaying yer kindness to me. Ye can go now, and I will not raise the alarm. Everyone will assume ye are with me.”
Another chance to leave.
Only this time, Rhedyn was certain she didn’t want to go.
“Yer brother is kind to me, Cora.”
Cora tossed her head, intent on arguing. But she suddenly stiffened, her face frozen in a stunned look before her body just dropped to the floor.
“Cora?” Rhedyn was reaching for the girl when she saw the man who had been standing behind her. His right hand held a thick length of wood that he raised up. Rhedyn realized his intent to attack too late. She’d put her effort into moving toward Cora, now, as she struggled to reverse course, the man leered at her as he brought the wood down on her head.
There was a dull thud as it connected with her skull. The pain was blinding. But she only felt it for a moment before collapsing like a sack of grain.
*
Innis couldn’t control her smile. “Kill her quickly.”
“Do nae be foolish, woman,” Egan chastised her.
He turned and pulled a horse from its stall. “She is the bait Hamish needs to draw Buchanan outside of this stronghold. Right glad I am to no’ have to use Cora.”
He bent down and scooped Rhedyn’s form off the floor. With a grunt, he tossed her over the back of the horse. Egan used a length of rope to tie her securely in place before he placed a blanket over her.
He turned around and pulled a note from his jerkin. He tucked it into Cora’s bodice before nodding with approval. Egan looked at Innis.
“Ye are helpful inside the stronghold,” he said. “Best for me to knock ye across the head as well.”
Innis’s eyes widened. She took a step back.
“Do nae make me chase ye woman,” Egan warned her. “I thought ye were loyal to Hamish. Time to prove it.”
“Ye will tell Hamish I helped ye?” Innis squeaked.
Egan had grasped the log he’d used to fell Cora once more. “Aye. Ye’ll have yer reward when Buchanan is dead and Hamish is laird.”
Innis nodded. She turned around and grasped two handfuls of her skirt. The log hit her skull with a dull sound.
*
Supper was the last meal of the day. It was a time when the Retainers were allowed to rest. In the summer, the days were long and there was more work to do than there were men to do it. Inside the great hall, there would be conversation and drink. The other meals throughout the day were consumed quickly because every man and woman had some pressing task to get to before the sun set.
Even the kitchen staff had time to linger in the hall and enjoy their friends at night. It was a time when smaller children were rubbing their eyes but fighting against falling asleep. Old men would tell stories or sing songs as mugs of ale were passed down the length of the tables. A Retainer didn’t make a lot of money, but he was ensured good meals and a place to sleep in the hall once
the tables were cleared to the side.
Egan made use of the lack of people in the hall. Up on the walls there would be Retainers still standing at their posts, but their focus was on making certain no one tried to enter the stronghold. He pulled a leather hood up to shield his face and hunched over as he led the horse through the kitchen yard. There was a small gate which lead to the pasture where the cows who gave milk were. In times of trouble, it would be secured, but tonight, there was only a single Retainer posted. He was looking toward the horizon. Egan lifted his hand, as though he knew the young lad.
The Retainer was young. He hadn’t experienced much of life and was left on watch because he was the lowest ranked. Egan’s wave had the desired effect on the lad. The Retainer mistook the greeting for innocence, never thinking it was a ruse.
He passed through the gate and out of the stronghold. The darkness swallowed him up, allowing him to make his way toward the place where Hamish waited.
A whistle came out of the night. Egan stopped and waited.
Hamish was careful in his approach. Egan didn’t hear even a footstep before there was suddenly a knife at his throat. He barely felt the kiss of the sharp metal before Hamish recognized him.
“Ye have her?” Hamish inquired.
“Aye, the Lindsey bitch.”
Hamish slowly grinned, and it sent a chill down Egan’s back. Hamish looked toward the covered form on the back of the horse.
“Well done, man.” Hamish reached out and patted Egan on the shoulder. “Well done, indeed.”
From around them, there was a shifting. Men materialized from the darkness. They were a grim bunch, their purpose seeming to taint the very wind with the feeling of treachery.
None of them had sympathy for their bait, and even if they had, taking her would have been something which they considered a necessary evil.
*
Cora opened her eyes and blinked.
The darkness she expected but not the pain throbbing in her skull. She lifted her hand, intending to rub her head but stopped when she saw the straw clinging to her fingers. The air was moist, far too much for her bedchamber.