by MK Schiller
“I’m listening.”
“I don’t normally bring random guys home. I’ve never done this. I just felt something with you.”
I didn’t like being referred to as a random guy, but I cracked a smile at her admission. “Are you seriously doing the whole ‘I just met you and I’m going to fuck you, but I promise I don’t usually do this?’”
Anxiety flickered across her face.
I tilted her chin so I could look upon those pale blue eyes once more. “You don’t have to tell me. Everything you said I figured out on my own.”
“I guess it is a very cheesy thing to say.”
“I love that you said it.”
“Why?”
“Because I do usually do this. I’ve never had a relationship, not even that whole elementary school pretend thing. I’m very honest about it. If there is such a thing as a gentleman man-whore, I’d like to think that would be me.”
She peered closer to me. “You don’t have to have this conversation with me, either.”
“I don’t?”
“I’m not an idiot. I get that this is a one-night stand. I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’m not the kind of girl who’s imagining how our future children might look or how you’ll pop the question or if I should make you pancakes or French toast for breakfast. I’m good with what this is.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Her speech was the exact thing I always wanted from a woman. A firm commitment that she wasn’t expecting a…commitment.
But her words knifed through my gut.
“That’s the thing, you’re different to me.” I winced, realizing how that sounded. Thankfully, she didn’t laugh. “And for the record, I like pancakes best.”
She laughed. “I don’t have the stuff to make batter, but I do have three kinds of cereal.”
“Well, that is something.” I rub my hand down her leg. “Look, Scarlett, if we only have one night together, I don’t want you to remember me as the dude you slept with before you left for Nashville.”
“How should I remember you?”
I shrugged because there were too many awkward wrong turns in answering that question. “How about if I was the guy you had a kick-ass conversation with? One you’ll think about every once in a while? And when he does happen to cross your mind, it’s a memory that makes you smile.”
She stared at me, blinking disbelief. “Seriously, are you trying to tell me that in the—” she glanced at her watch. “—three and a half hours you’ve known me, I’ve cured you of all your man-whore ways?”
“That’s a fair and honest statement.”
She sighed, the breath blowing her bangs up. “Yay me.”
I would have laughed, but my dick was busy telling me off. “I just want something more with you.”
“I’m not sure if I should feel special or rejected right now. Are you playing hard to get?”
I swallowed, not sure how to explain any of this. “You’re so fucking beautiful. You have no idea how much I want you. In fact, there’s an epic battle of wills between my hypothalamus and my hard-on right now. So don’t make this harder than it is. And yeah, pun intended.”
She let out a deep breath, kissed my forehead, and nodded in agreement. “I guess when you put it like that, I have no choice but to pick a side.” She shifted on my lap—her body slightly trembling. That shiver shot straight through me.
“Speaking of hard, I have a little situation going on, and it would make this a lot easier if we had some distance.”
She walked to the door, opening it. The cat ran right into the room. “I guess he can be in here since we don’t need privacy. Do you really want to invest time in getting to know each other if this is our only night?”
Even if she didn’t dream about me, I wanted some clues, some clarity. If we had sex, it would be over, and she might ask me to leave. Sex only lasted so long, even for me.
A conversation could go on forever. I could replay it in my mind every night. A conversation meant possibility. “I think it’s a risky short-term investment, but odds are it’ll pay out.”
Even if we did have chemistry, I couldn’t exactly go with her. Asking someone I just met if I could relocate with them to another state advanced me to stalker expert. I had to be careful with Scarlett. If I wasn’t, she’d push me away.
She lay on the bed. I followed suit, keeping a distance between us, facing her. The cat filled the gap in the middle, stretching out its body, purring against her. Clearly, he was putting me on notice, but I was grateful for the physical barrier.
Although it was everything in me not to move him so I could feel her leaning into me again.
“Do you think we can talk all night, or will you be too tired?”
She looked at her watch so quickly I didn’t think she checked the time but rather used it as a measure of affirmation. “I can sleep on the bus.”
Scarlett sat up, jabbing a finger against my chest. “But you have to leave before my mom gets here. I mean, she probably wouldn’t say anything, but it’s hard to explain the hotter than Hades naked boy in bed with me.”
I grinned like an idiot. “Hotter than Hades, eh?”
She shrugged. “Call ‘em like I see ‘em.”
“Then you got it wrong, sunshine, ‘cause I’m not naked.”
She smiled. “Yet.”
I laughed, but my fingers twitched. I wanted to touch every inch of her creamy smooth skin. “You’re not playing fair.”
She sighed, crashing back on the mattress. “I don’t get what I want very often, but I really want you. So yeah, fuck fair.”
I sucked in a deep breath, trying hard not to smile like a total ass that the energy between us was a two-way spark, one that would ignite with very little tinder.
“Scarlett—”
“What do you want to talk about, New York?”
“How about you?”
“What would you like to know?”
“Everything.”
She waved her hand in the air. “Too broad. Ask me a question and I’ll answer it honestly.”
“Anything?”
“I’m never going to see you again, so why not?”
“Then I want to ask the thing you told me not to ask. How did you end up with that douche bag?” Talking about him would surely make my dick soft.
“You really want the details?”
“Did he have something to do with this?” I pulled the strap of her shirt off her shoulder and gently fingered the bruise there. Her body went rigid. The cat looked ready to claw me, but then he stopped and stared at her shoulder. Clearly, we were both having the same murderous thoughts.
“It’s not what you think.”
“I’m doing my best not to think about it, but it’s driving me crazy. What did he do to you?”
She pulled the strap back up and pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. It fell right back where it was. Her mouth tightened. “I don’t want to talk about this. Why are you bringing it up?”
“Because my mind is going to some very dark places and I need you to shed light before I lose it.” I wanted to kill him, but I kept that to myself.
She swallowed. “Why do you care?”
“One question at a time.”
She grew quiet, pursing her lips and twisting her hair. “This is hard for me, because no matter what I say, I will sound like a weak girl who put herself in a bad situation.”
“I won’t judge.”
“You don’t understand. I am not that girl. I’m strong.”
“I believe it. I just want to know the story. If…if you trust me.”
She was quiet for a moment. I was about to change the topic when she spoke. “I met Vance when I was sixteen. He credits me with saving his life.”
“How did you do that?”
“Not literally but in a figurative way. He was on drugs…meth. He said that if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have gotten clean.”
“How did you even meet him? He looks older than you.”
“Only two years older. Drugs have a way of aging you. We worked together. Part of his probation was to get a job. Your Aunt Rose was the only one who’d hire him. We bonded over dirty dishes and chicken strips. I thought he was a good guy.
“Hell, to be honest, I thought I loved him, but the more time I spent with him, I realized he just traded one obsession for another. He never laid a hand on me, but he was very controlling during our relationship. It took me a while to figure that out, but I did. I broke up with him six months ago.”
The armor she wore disintegrated bit by bit. She braided a strand of her hair, her fingers working fast until just a long neat knot appeared. “There is a difference between being needed and being loved. It took me a long time to get that. He needed me, and I liked it. So much so that I lost myself for a while.
“But I found myself. And it’s over and that’s that.”
I struggled not to take her in my arms and heal whatever hurt existed inside her, but that lower lip stopped shaking and curved into a slow smile. “That’s it.”
“That’s not weakness, Scarlett. You’re empathetic. That makes you pretty special in my book. But you still haven’t told me how you got this.” I rubbed the discolored mark on her shoulder. She didn’t strain away this time but relaxed as my fingers kneaded her.
“When he found out I was leaving for Nashville, Vance came here. He’d believed we’d get back together for some weird reason, even though I never gave him any false hope. I told him to get out. He refused, so I called the police. Anyway, he threw something at me when I walked away from him.”
“What?”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “His fist.”
He fucking hit her!
Minutes passed between us. Something crumbled inside me. Why didn’t I beat that asshole up when I had the chance?
Because you didn’t want her to think you’re some kind of violent idiot.
I left that guy behind in New York.
Crazy what a few days away from bad habits could do for a guy.
“Stop,” she whispered, ending my quiet struggle. She sat up and took my clenched hand, prying them loose one finger at a time. “You don’t have to freak out. I’m not some helpless girl. He punched me in the shoulder, and I turned around and kneed him in the groin hard enough that his future grandchildren will know who I am.”
“You’re kidding.” But even as I said it, I could imagine her doing it.
“Nope, like I said, I’m not the kind of girl who lets a man put his hands on her. I didn’t need you tonight. I could have taken care of it by myself. But you seemed so determined to be chivalrous.”
I wanted to hug her, but I settled for stroking her hair. “What if he is that kind of guy?”
“What kind?”
“The kind that follows a girl to Nashville with nothing but harm in his heart?”
She shocked me by laughing. “New York, you watch too many movies. That stuff makes for good drama, but in real life, people are bums. He’s not going to come after me. Hell, I’m surprised he got his lazy ass on the ferry to come out tonight. Besides, like I said, I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time.”
She moved my hands and laid back down. “I already wasted four years. I won’t spend another minute discussing my mistakes.”
I wanted to probe more, but the way she looked at me, silently begging me to drop the subject, swept the thoughts like crumbs under a rug…out of sight but always there. Laying back down, I cracked my knuckles, keeping my hands busy. The cat, who had somehow scrambled off the bed, moved back, taking residence as our evening chaperone. “As you wish.”
“What’s your story? Are you just visiting Rose?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What do you think of Serenity so far?”
I shrugged. “I love the beach, but there’s not much else.”
“Yeah, it’s tiny.”
I didn’t want to talk about me. I craved information about her. Besides, most of my stories were warped. “Have you always wanted to do this? Go to Nashville and be a star?”
“I’m a good singer.”
“You’re an amazing singer.”
“So it makes sense.” She said it with an inflection like a question. It wasn’t a full answer.
“Okay, sure.”
“I know. I know. I sound wishy-washy.”
“You don’t have to be certain of anything right now. That’s the one good thing about being young. We can make mistakes.”
“The truth is I’m not sure what I want. Sometimes I feel like I’ve had a lot of lost years, and it’s time to go searching for something bigger than me. This is my way of doing that.”
“Did you ever think of a more traditional path? Like college?”
“Sure…once.”
“And?”
“College wasn’t in the cards for me. I have Dyslexia.”
“But you have so many books. You read Virginia Woolf.”
She narrowed her eyes, making it clear I’d yanked a nerve.
“People with Dyslexia can read. It’s just more difficult. I love to read. It takes me a lot longer than the average person. Sometimes, I have to reread a paragraph four times before I understand it, but I’m not illiterate or stupid.”
I leaned on my elbow, bringing my face close to hers. “I’m sorry. I’m being dumb.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know why I snapped. I get defensive sometimes.”
“I understand. I shouldn’t have assumed. It was a dick move.”
She laughed. “What about you? Tell me something?”
“What do you want to know?”
She sat up, resting on her elbows, her long legs bent behind her. “Why are you here?”
“You invited me.”
She punched my arm. “I mean in Serenity.”
“I told you. I’m visiting my aunt.”
“It’s April. You seem like the college type, preppy. Why aren’t you in school?”
I winced. “That’s a stupid story.”
“I’ll risk it.”
“We don’t have time for this.”
“Let me get this straight. You want me to be vulnerable and just passively give you all the fucked-up shit in my life, but you won’t do the same? There is a story here. Spill it.”
“Wow, you’re some detective.”
She blew on her nails. “Just call me Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the butterfly tattoo.”
“She was more of a hacker.”
“She was a badass in all ways.”
I nodded in agreement then remembered what she’d said. My curiosity imagined all the places on her body where a tat might live. “So you have ink? Where?”
She leaned close to me. “Focus. Tell me what happened.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “That’s a long story.”
“I’ll settle for the spark notes.”
Her determined look told me she wasn’t going to relent. “I was in school, but I got kicked out.”
She waved her hand as if asking me to go on. How’d we get here? Telling her about my past mistakes wasn’t exactly going to make her trust me.
“I applied for this fraternity.”
“You are preppy, but you don’t seem like the frat type.”
“Yeah, they didn’t think so, either, but, um…it was my father’s fraternity. He was a legacy. I wanted to surprise him. You see, I’ve disappointed him a lot. The frat told me I was in cause of my dad. At the end of the rush week, they had this party. It was a rager. Seemed like the entire student body showed up. And our sister sorority was also performing their final rush ritual, which, as it turns out, was a strip-tease contest.”
I paused to take in her expression. She didn’t seem shocked, but she did look disappointed.
“I’m not gonna lie. That sounds kinda toxic, New York.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Hey, I’m not proud, but if a girl wants to strip, then who am I to stop her?
Woman empowerment means choices and freedom.”
She held up her hand. “Dude, you’re not running for office here. I get it. The girls wanted to be there. They wanted to strip.”
“Well, that’s the thing. Not all of them did. The first three girls seemed really into it, but the fourth girl wasn’t. Her name was Maisie. I recognized her from Calc II. It was obvious she didn’t want to be there. Everyone started chanting, ‘Take it off. Take it off.’” The words bashed around my head. “God, Scarlett, I even said it until I got a hold of myself. It became a mob scene so quickly, and I almost got swept away in it. I feel so shitty about that. But by then, it was too late anyway.”
“What happened?”
I swallowed, not wanting to remember that cold, dark night. “My frat brother threw a beer at her. Other people stormed the stage. Someone ripped off her shirt.”
Scarlett’s hand formed a fist. She was still, but emotion radiated all around her, like the silence before a storm.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to—”
She shook her head. “Finish the story. What happened? What did you do?”
Thank God the last question didn’t come out as an accusation. Unlike my father and Colleen, she wasn’t jumping to conclusions.
“I pushed through all the people and jumped up on the stage. I hit the guy who ripped her shirt. I gave her my jacket. Her friends came and got her out. I apologized to her, but I don’t think she heard me. I don’t remember much after that, except that we all started brawling. It was like everyone in that room against me. Well, at least five guys I know of, but others got in their kicks and punches, too. I spent a few weeks in the hospital with a severe concussion, more than my fair share of bruises, and broken ribs.”
“Does it still hurt?”
“A little when I twist my torso a strange way. But I’m on the mend.”
“When are you going back to school?” She gripped my shoulder.
“I got kicked out, Scarlett. Because of the fight.”
Her grip tightened. “But you were defending her, and you got hurt for it.”
“Every one of those five guys had injuries, too. It wasn’t one-sided. No one in the frat was coming to my defense, and they all claimed I started the fight. Which I guess I did.”
“But the girl…Maisie. She could have testified.”