all roads lead to you

by Probst, Jennifer

  She knew.

  The day had been hectic, so they’d decided to skip a public dinner and order room service. She’d been distant, but he’d figured she was exhausted. But now he knew Colin had found her and spun his lies.

  Aidan had been such an asshole to withhold the truth. And now he was going to pay for the mistake.

  His gut clenched, but he remained calm as he removed his jacket and headed to the minibar. Without a word, he poured them two glasses of whiskey, added some ice, and handed one to her. The memory of the first time they’d made love assaulted him. It seemed so long ago, and then again, just like yesterday. In a hotel room, after their first win, he’d gotten to touch her, taste her, claim her. And he’d never been the same afterward. She’d changed him, but he’d played the most dangerous game of all with something even bigger than her heart.

  Her trust.

  “Rachael is the owner of Kincaid’s Crown.”

  Her eyes widened as the implication hit her full force. She drained her glass with one tip of her hand, then slammed it on the table. When she spun on her heel, refusing to allow him to see her face, raw pain punched him straight in the solar plexus. He was about to hurt the only woman he’d ever loved, and it was all because he’d been a selfish prick who refused to share the parts of his broken past.

  “Do you sleep with all the female owners?” she asked lightly.

  He cursed, took a step forward, then stopped. “No. Rachael’s nothing like you. She was . . . convenient. I cared about her, but it was mostly a physical relationship. She didn’t love the horses like you do. She was extremely wealthy, and her father set her up with her own farm. She liked the trappings of the world, and I was considered one of them.”

  “Convenient, huh? Such a distasteful word,” Harper said. There was no emotion in her voice. “Why don’t you tell me your side of the story? I’ve already had the pleasure of hearing Colin’s version of events. Would be nice to play a game of comparison.”

  He let out a vicious curse and clenched his fists. “I fucked up, Harper. I know you won’t believe me now, but I wanted to tell you many times what happened back in Ireland.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  Shame burned but she deserved his truth. “I was scared. Scared you wouldn’t believe me. Scared to own up to the decisions I’d made that led me to that moment. Scared to be a man not worthy of you and Phoenix.”

  She turned to face him. “Scared I wouldn’t let you train Phoenix?”

  He winced, but he deserved it. “Yes.”

  “You never gave me the opportunity to prove you wrong.”

  Regret was a bitter companion. God knew he’d dealt with it before, but he’d never experienced this wave of panic he was feeling at the idea of her walking away. He cleared his throat. “No, I didn’t. Rachael isn’t the one who broke my heart. Colin was. He wasn’t just my business partner, he was my best friend. We came up in the ranks together and became close. When we decided to start our own business, all of those hard years of being homeless and a nobody were finally behind me. We began to take on bigger clients. We began to win.”

  The images of him and Colin celebrating their first big stakes win tore through him. He refilled his drink, then continued. “Colin took care of the business, and I took care of the training. When Rachael approached us with Kincaid’s Crown, I knew in my bones the horse was going to change things for all of us. I knew he was a champion. For that year, I worked day and night to get him ready. Rachael and I fell into an affair. And Colin did his magic, until our names were synonymous with victory. We were the hot new trainers on the block. It was as if all of my dreams were coming true.”

  “What happened?” she asked softly.

  He took a sip. The burn slid down his throat and calmed his nerves. “I caught Colin doping the horse. I lost my shit. Kincaid’s Crown didn’t need any help making it past the finish line. He’d lost a big stakes race before the Derby, and it sent Colin into a tailspin. He was obsessed with us losing all our momentum, so he’d taken it on himself to guarantee we didn’t lose the next one.”

  Aidan set down his empty glass and tunneled his fingers through his hair. He still dreamed of that one moment where everything had crashed down around him. The shock of betrayal cut deep. The ensuing dialogue with the man he’d loved like a brother had almost destroyed him.

  “Let’s just say we had a difference in opinion. I told him I was bringing the information to Rachael, and he just laughed. Said she already knew.”

  Harper sucked in her breath. Then held out her glass.

  Wordlessly, he gave her a refill and began to pace, feeling like a caged tiger, trapped in the past. “The Derby was coming up. I told him I refused to enter the horse with any type of illegal shit going on, and we had a blowout. Finally, he agreed to back off and let me do my job. Our relationship had taken a hit, but I was still hopeful. I told myself they’d panicked. Reminded myself how hard it’d been before, and he’d made a mistake he wouldn’t repeat. I was vigilant with the horse. I slept in the barn, hired someone to watch the horse round the clock, and made it to the Derby. We won.”

  Oh, how the victory made his blood sing and his heart ache with emotion. Seeing that beautiful horse in the winner’s circle gave him joy. He knew some horses were born to run, and Kincaid’s Crown was one of them. He’d loved the horse with every breath in his body and been excited about his bright future.

  “I thought everything was back on track. Until I headed to the farm, and Rachael and Colin were waiting for me. They informed me they had proof I was doping the horse.”

  He felt Harper’s intense gaze, but he headed toward the window. Placing his palm on the cool glass panes, he stared sightlessly out at the parking lot.

  “They wanted you out,” she said, her voice filled with pain.

  “Yes. Colin had told Rachael I’d expose them. Convinced her to flip the situation on me and get me out. I tried to fight it, of course, but they said if I left quietly, they wouldn’t go to the press. Colin would take over the business and give me a small buyout to start over. When I told them no, that I’d fight them all the way, they said my decision would end Kincaid’s Crown’s racing career, along with mine. Colin said they’d never race the horse again. That their ultimate revenge would revolve around me watching the horse I loved stuck in a stall, knowing he’d never run again. They said he’d be ignored and never sold—an unending reminder of my failure.”

  She fired off a litany of expletives that was pretty impressive. “I’d kill them both,” she muttered.

  “I wanted to. But when I looked at all my options, I realized we could never work together again. I’d lost not only my partner, but my best friend. And the thought of Kincaid’s Crown never racing again? I couldn’t live with myself. So I made them a deal. Told them if anything happened to the horse, I’d spend my last breath taking them both down. Colin believed me. I have a close friend who’s a trainer who lives near, and he checks on the horse regularly. Two weeks ago, Kincaid’s Crown won a stakes race and broke a new speed record.”

  “Do you think they doped him again?” she asked in a hard voice.

  “No, even Colin admitted the horse was a natural talent. He knows I’d tip off the racing authorities if I suspected any tampering. My friend knows the signs to look for.” He turned away from the window and met her gaze. “Rumors spread about why I left. Some said I got itchy feet. Others said I wasn’t good enough and was replaced. I decided to come here for a break and begin fresh. I always wanted to train in America, so it was a good place to start.”

  “And you met Phoenix.”

  He nodded. A piece of his heart crumbled at the touch of sadness in her sea-green eyes. “And you, Harper. I met you.”

  Her lips firmed. “But your plan is the same, right? To return to Ireland? Prove to everyone back home that nothing changed—you’re still a winner?”

  No.

  Nothing would be the same ever again, because when he returned to Ireland,
she wouldn’t be with him. Yet she was right. His dream to return home to the land he loved as a winner and prove to Colin no one could break him hadn’t changed. He wouldn’t allow himself to be distracted from that one main goal, no matter how deep she’d carved herself into his heart.

  “Yes.”

  The word exploded through the room like a bullet. She winced slightly, but he kept his gaze pinned to hers, knowing he owed her the last shred of truth he could give.

  “But you’re not Rachael. You’re not an extra side benefit or a pleasurable distraction. My heart recognizes yours. For the first time in my life, I know what it’s like to crave a woman night and day. To look forward to sharing a meal, or a conversation, or sitting in front of your tiny television surrounded by animals. You changed my life, and I won’t let this story make you believe you don’t mean everything to me.”

  She wrapped her arms around her middle. Pain and want pulsed in her aura, but he remained still, knowing she needed time. Harper liked to process things in her own space. He refused to power through or use their physical intimacy to push her.

  “I need some time to think.”

  “I know.” He picked up his jacket. “I’m going to go out for a while. Make sure you eat. Text me if you need me for anything. And Harper?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you for listening to me. I fucked up. I never wanted to hurt you or your family, but I swear to God I won’t make that mistake again. I can only hope you can forgive me.”

  He didn’t wait for her answer.

  He left.

  She heard the door softly close and rolled over.

  Harper stared at the ceiling and listened to the sounds out in the suite. She’d been up the whole night, unable to sleep. Combing through each one of his words and looking for an answer.

  The jealousy was the worst. She hated thinking of him with Rachael and had to fight not to compare herself. A good hour was spent torturing herself on all the things they’d experienced together, including winning an Irish Derby. Maybe she was just another chapter in his book. Another tool in his belt. Another notch on his bedpost.

  But her heart told her no.

  She sensed he’d held nothing back with his story. Aidan wasn’t the type of man to bestow platitudes or flowery words on a woman just to work with her horse or seduce her into bed.

  You changed my life . . .

  Within all the mess, those were the words that stood out. He’d been just as scared. Scared to open up to another person and be vulnerable. Scared to admit there might be something more between them than a winning horse. She still worried about his obsession with winning, but it was a part of his very soul she’d never be able to change. Somehow, she needed to trust he’d do the right thing if ever faced with a decision.

  Yes, he’d hurt her, but after hours spent analyzing his story, she came to one startling conclusion.

  It didn’t matter.

  Her heart and body still craved him.

  She still wanted him to train Phoenix, because she believed he was the best for her horse.

  And God help her, she still loved him. She’d never say the words, but she could let her body tell him in her own way. That way, when he finally left, she’d have no regrets.

  She slipped out of bed, opened the door, and padded softly over to the couch.

  He sat up, a shadowy silhouette of hard lines tangled in a blanket. He’d shed his jeans and shirt, but it was his scent that hit her first, a mixture of whiskey and hay and musk. Silently, she knelt in front of him and put her hands on his knees. He leaned forward. His lips brushed her cheek in reverence, and his gravelly voice raked across her nerve endings, bringing shivers.

  “Mo stór. Forgive me.”

  She reached for him, not needing any words for tonight. When his mouth closed over hers, her soul sighed with pleasure, and his tongue gently stroked her lips, savoring her taste before slowly thrusting inside.

  He dragged her onto his lap so she straddled him. Her lacy boy shorts were no barrier to the hard, silken thrust of his cock against her most sensitive core, the fabric rubbing over her swollen clit to tease and tempt. He swallowed her needy cry, his fingers stabbed into her hair, holding her still while he devoured her whole.

  She fell into his kiss like Alice fell into Wonderland. Time softened and blurred, and then he tore off her shirt and palmed her breasts, lifting them up like a present meant for his mouth and tongue and teeth. He suckled her nipples, and she rotated her hips in greed, her hands running over his hard muscles, enjoying the feel of rough body hair against her palms, then edging his underwear to the side while she cupped his throbbing erection, squeezing with just enough pressure to force a groan from his lips.

  He reared up, golden eyes burning with a mixture of tenderness and lust, and he pressed a gentle kiss to her swollen lips the same time he ripped her underwear aside and surged into her wet heat.

  The edge of lovemaking melded into fucking, a thrilling combination of nurturing care and savage possession. With each brutal thrust, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, his palms cupping her cheeks, and she gripped his shoulders, helpless under the command of his body.

  The orgasm grew closer with each roll of his hips, and the sheer tenderness of his caresses only fanned the flame. She begged in between each kiss, but he controlled every deliberate thrust, until finally he arched and slammed her onto his cock, and she cried out and shattered into orgasm.

  She collapsed onto his chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her body, still inside her, and pressed his lips to her temple.

  “Don’t leave me alone in this,” she finally whispered.

  “I won’t. Never again.”

  She dropped a kiss on his bare shoulder and snuggled into his embrace. They stayed like that for a long, long time, no more words needed.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  They fell into a routine as gracefully as fall turned into winter.

  It was a time Harper enjoyed and looked forward to at the farm. When the mountain peaks glistened with ice and snow, and a blanket of white covered the trees and grass, a hush came over the world. Even the animals enjoyed the new quiet, huddled in the barn under cozy blankets and sleeping nonstop. When they went for the occasional ride, they nipped and galloped with a mad glee in the bite of cold, and Harper laughed at their play and friskiness.

  The guests at the inn slowed, and the holidays passed in a blur of cheer and cherished moments. Elmo took off for a few weeks to visit his family for Christmas and decided to stay until February.

  The shorter days and longer nights lent themselves to intimate snuggling with Disney movies and a herd of animals always ready to hibernate and howl at the screen when they caught sight of a character that resembled themselves.

  And Aidan became an important part of it all.

  He was now sewn into all seams of her life, a partner not only in business but also in her day-to-day routine. With the victory of the Breeders’ Cup Juvenile, they’d become just as famous as Kyle in Gardiner, and Phoenix became their new hero. Fall had brought an influx of visitors who lined up to catch sight of the celebrated horse, but in the midst of winter, everyone drifted away to do their own hibernating and left Harper, Aidan, and Phoenix blissfully alone.

  For now, they’d safely passed Valentine’s Day—her most hated holiday of all time—and decided to take an evening and hang out with Mia and Ethan.

  Harper whistled at the transformation of the once-dilapidated bungalow the couple lived in. “Guys, this is amazing,” she said, walking through the space. They’d pushed out the back wall to add an office for Mia and an extra bedroom and bath. A special mudroom off the entrance was now heated and held Wheezy’s, Bolt’s, and Hei Hei’s equipment and feeding bowls. A new sectional in sleek silver with matching oversize chairs had replaced the battered secondhand stuff. They’d added a fireplace with a colorful throw rug, and the dogs were making good use of it by currently snoozing in contentment. The kitchen, which had once been
a tiny space like Harper’s, now boasted an open galley with gorgeous butcher-block counters and tables in rich reddish cedar and brand-new stainless-steel appliances. “Is Ethan finally going to cook?”

  Mia laughed. “Well, we both decided to take cooking lessons together,” she said, shooting a glance at Ethan.

  Harper tried not to laugh at the look on her brother’s face.

  “There’s only so much takeout we can depend on,” he muttered.

  “Kyle and Ophelia could have taught you,” Harper said.

  “Hell no,” Ethan said, shaking his head. “My goal is to take a few lessons at the Culinary Institute, invite him to dinner, and blow his mind. We don’t want them to know a thing.”

  Mia rolled her eyes. “His idea, not mine. But it would be kind of cool to see their faces when we come up with a dazzling dinner.”

  Aidan laughed. “I love it. Make sure you beat his meat, though. That’s where he’s the most sensitive.”

  Harper gave him a playful punch on his shoulder. “You’re just as bad as they are.”

  Hei Hei came running out of his special room with Captain Hoof on his heels and shot them a long-suffering look. Aidan knelt down and the chicken shrieked, rubbing his feathers against his knee.

  “I know, dude. But Captain Hoof loves you. You’re gonna have to suck it up and learn how to babysit.”

  The goat slid from behind, and Hei Hei automatically blocked him from bumping into the large coffee table. Captain Hoof looked up in pure hero worship at his friend and licked him in thanks.

  Mia watched the exchange, shaking her head. “I still can’t get over it. It’s the first time an animal bonded with Hei Hei, and the first one my chicken doesn’t want to kill.”

  “At least we finally got him out of that ridiculous chicken costume,” Aidan said. “I can’t believe the press snapped a picture that went viral.”

  “It was cute,” Harper commented. “People began sending Phoenix stuffed goats and chickens.”